Tarou 12
by intrasonic
Summary: An alternate universe fic, starring the coolest character in all of Ranma 12! [On Hold]
1. Prologue

Tarou ½   
A Ranma ½ Fanfic by Intrasonic 

Prologue 

Notes: 

-This story derives itself directly from the manga, with only one thing changed to begin with. Namely, Tarou appears sooner. As any avid fanfic reader might guess, he happens to stumble into Ranma's path before long and get mixed up in the various events. But what will come of that? Someone with power, skill, a mission, only a few morals, and most importantly, INTELLIGENCE, could change things around a little. Actually, quite a bit could get changed. Some events may not even take place. Some might get butchered beyond recognition. You're welcome to read on and find out for yourself.   
-To give a general idea to anybody who has no clue about who Tarou is, he's arguably the coolest character in the Ranma-verse. He was dunked as a baby at Jusenkyou in 'Spring of Drowned Yeti Riding a Bull Carrying a Crane Holding an Eel' by Happousai, who at the same time, gave him the name 'Pantyhose Tarou', which predictably does cruel things to your social life. By the laws of Tarou's village, only the person who named him can change his name, which isn't going to be easy where Happousai is concerned. His cursed form is a giant minotaur-like creature with wings and an eel for a tail. 

And Onto the Story... 

"I'm leaving today!" the young man repeated. "And that's final!"   
The aged sensei looked at him appraisingly. "Are you certain? Do you really think you're strong enough? You are good. Very good, in fact. But I can still whip your sorry behind in a man-to-man fight, and I wouldn't consider _myself_ strong enough."   
The man smirked. "Maybe _I'm_ not strong enough, but I wasn't planning on fighting as myself. A splash of water, and I'll pound the miserable pervert into the ground easily!"   
"You place too much faith in your cursed form."   
"If I did, why would I have bothered to study under you?"   
The sensei acknowledged the point. "Again, I do not think you are ready to confront him. Why, he has not be heard from for over twenty years now. It is possible that the demon is dead now."   
"Dead? He's an ancient as China itself, they say. Even the Joketsuzoku fear him! He can't have suddenly decided to die _now_!!!"   
"They say he is perverse enough to have done so. Or perhaps he's simply run away. You may never find him."   
"Oh, I'll find him. I know all the stories. All I have to do is ask if they've seen a withered old pervert around." He chuckled evilly. "I don't think finding him will be a problem."   
"I still do not think you are strong enough. You place too little faith in the legends. True, even the Joketsuzoku fear him. They hate him for his actions, but don't you understand why they haven't revenged themselves on him? The Joketsuzoku are notorious for chasing enemies to the ends of the earth to extract revenge. Yet they have not done so against him. He is too strong for even them to fight. And that is saying a lot in itself. You are a good student. Stay awhile longer and let me teach you more. Your cursed form grows as you age, so it will become stronger too. You have nothing to lose."   
The young man appeared hesitant. He couldn't argue with what his sensei had said.   
Family genes dictated that he would never be a particularly bulky individual, but rigorous training for his entire life had given him strength far beyond his years. He had not been an especially early developer either, but even now nature was gradually working towards making him stronger. And those improvements were directly reflected in the cursed form he possessed. Another year of training, and he would be even stronger...   
Pantyhose Tarou stood up and faced his master with his decision. 

********************* 

Once upon a time, that young man decided to wait. He trained and grew stronger still. And eventually left. What came of this can be learned by reading a series called Ranma ½, available in comic stores everywhere. It may be generally said that no incidence of success was ever known to have occurred. But that was another story altogether. In _this_ story... 

********************* 

"I'm tired of waiting! I leave tomorrow! I'll find that withered old pervert Happousai if it's the last thing I do. And I'll _make_ him change my name! Even if I have to chase him all the way to Japan to do it!" 


	2. The Search For a Scoundrel(s)

Tarou ½   
By Intrasonic 

Chapter 1: The Search For A Scoundrel(s) 

"I'm looking for an old man who steals underwear. Have you seen him?"   
The waitress gave a rather interested look. You saw all types in a bar like the one she worked in, but she had to admit that this was the first time she'd heard a question quite like that. "I hear about all kinds around here, buddy."   
Tarou narrowed his eyes. "His name is Happousai. I'm looking for him."   
"I've heard stories about him," she agreed. "The Demon Happousai? No one's heard of him for twenty years now. They say he's finally dead."   
"I doubt it. I need to find him."   
"Well, I hate to say it, but no one's heard or seen him in twenty years."   
Tarou tried from a different angle. "Do you know anyone who might know something about him?"   
The waitress looked thoughtful. "Well, you could try talking with that guy in the corner. He's done a lot of travelling, and he's seen a few weird things. Don't believe everything you hear, of course..."   
Tarou stood up, leaving a handful of money for his drink. "Doesn't that go without saying?"   
Without another word, he strode over to where the man was seating, idly sipping what appeared to be a strong drink. Not bothering to sit down, he peered downwards at the man. He knew exactly how he probably looked to the man. A young man, lightly built, with a dragon-scaled vest and bracers on him, and what could be considered a pretty-boy face. A sash around his waist that almost looked like _pantyhose_. And who, for some reason, carried a water bottle at his waist. But in short, he knew that he didn't look like too much of a threat. It was an appearance he made an effort to maintain until the last moment.   
"I was told you've been around," Tarou invited calmly.   
"Maybe I have."   
"I'm looking for an old man named Happousai."   
The man raised en eyebrow. "I haven't heard of him in twenty years, kid. And you can't be over twenty. Why would you want to find him?"   
"I have some business to settle with him."   
"Give it up. He doesn't do anything he doesn't want to, and nobody has ever been able to tell him different."   
Tarou scowled. It was the same routine every time. He would find somebody who'd travelled the lands of China, and had heard of the old goat. Right now, he was in the process of receiving Ominous Warnings. "I mean to change his mind." The next stage would be...   
"You really think you're a match for him?"   
That's right, the part where he was told He Was No Match For Happousai. "That isn't your concern. Do you know anything about him?"   
"Maybe I do. Maybe I don't."   
Tarou knew this part too. "But you don't feel it's worth your time to talk with a little boy like me, right?"   
"You're smart, at least. Get lost."   
"I'll give you two choices. You can tell me what you know, or I can beat it out of you. I'd prefer the second way, but if you save me some time, I might be nice."   
The man stood up, revealing his full seven feet of height. Shoulders like polished bronze. A broad barrel chest that rippled with raw muscle. Steel knuckles adorning his fists. The usual. "I don't _like_ threats."   
"Neither do I. Are you going to talk, or aren't you?"   
"I don't _feel_ like it."   
Tarou chuckled evilly. "As I said... I _prefer_ the second way."   
The next five seconds have been censored for the weak of heart and stomach, but suffice to say, some talking began to occur. It was fortunate that Tarou was skilled enough to avoid hitting the person's face, which made it possible to still talk. Anything _else_ might be a problem, however.   
"He... trained several students. One of them was a thief named Saotome. That's all I know, I swear!"   
Tarou slowly left the bar. "Saotome. Saotome. Hmm..." 

****************** 

"Have you heard of a man named Saotome?"   
The aged martial arts master raised an eyebrow at the question. "The thief?"   
"I've been told so," Tarou agreed, privately deciding that this 'Saotome' character had _definitely_ been trained by Happousai. "Have you seen him?"   
"He came by last year with his son. They were on a ten year training mission. His son was quite good."   
"Where did they go?"   
"They headed south, to my knowledge. But this was a year ago..."   
"Good day." 

****************** 

"I'm looking for a thief named Saotome." 

"I'm looking for a pervert named Happousai." 

"I heard he came through some time ago. No, I'm _not_ with him." 

"Have you seen a man named Genma Saotome come through here?" 

****************** 

"Yeah, he was here a few months ago. Had his son with him. Pretty good, if you ask me." 

"Sorry, never heard of him. I heard Happousai died twenty years ago." 

"Yeah, he came through here. You gonna pay for what he stole?" 

"Genma. I heard he was one of the only people who ever survived training under the Demon Happousai. Some even say he was the one who killed the old goat..." 

****************** 

Tarou quietly descended, his massive cursed form landing with deceptive quietness. A bottle of hot water later, he was human again, looking rather frustrated. The trail was cold. That was the biggest problem. No one had seen Happousai for twenty years, many quite happy to believe that he was dead. Others thought that he had gone into hiding, firmly convinced that the old pervert couldn't be killed. They had some stories back up their beliefs too. But for better, or in Tarou's case, much worse, Happousai seemed to have disappeared from the face of the earth. It was obvious that something had happened. Twenty years ago, to be exact. And it was becoming very likely that a certain Genma Saotome knew something about that disappearance. Which meant that Saotome was his best bet at the moment. He was easy to track, especially when labeled as a thief. It was rather surprising how his son didn't seem to carry the same label, but was rather looked upon as an innocent bystander who was being corrupted by Genma. He must be one sweet-talking, naive, little flower-girl of a kid to generate that kind of a public opinion through this all.   
But he couldn't seem to catch up to the man, no matter how fast he moved. He always seemed to leave his mark in the villages, but outside of that, he was invisible, which meant wasted time on Tarou's part. He needed to find a destination in advance. His cursed form could cover ground extremely quickly, but that was worthless without a known destination.   
But he had hope. They seemed to be headed towards the general Jusenkyou area, which he knew best of all. Provided that Genma was able to stay alive (Which he seemed a virtual expert on, if nothing else), Tarou was confident that he would be able to corner the fool and get some answers. 

***************** 

"They passed through about a month ago." 

"They passed through about two weeks ago." 

"I saw them about a week ago, I think." 

"Just yesterday. Talkin' about some Jusenkyou training ground or something..." 

***************** 

Tarou smiled, or whatever the equivalent was for his cursed form. He knew where they were headed and he knew where that place was. A grim smile. He certainly _should_ know where Jusenkyou was. He was also knowledgeable enough to know that they wouldn't find the place. He didn't even pretend to understand Jusenkyou, but he knew that it was hard to find. The fact that he was already cursed seemed to make it easier for him to get to, but even he preferred to search for it by air. So all he had to do was look for a pair of martial artists wandering around aimlessly. Then he would question them and learn everything that he could from them. 

Five hours later, he was getting frustrated. He had scoured the entire surrounding area with no sign. Perhaps... they had managed to find the training grounds? He would narrow his search and assume that they had. Although it could end up very badly for them if they were successful... 

Another five hours of searching the training grounds themselves finally netted him a result. He could see a lone figure trudging along aimlessly. Every once in awhile, he would change direction. Tarou began to grow dizzy trying to follow him, but was able to tell that he was approaching Jusenkyou... very interesting. Did the man realize he was approaching an overhanging cliff? It didn't seem like it.   
At the last moment, the figure seemed to realize where he was, looking over the cliff at the cursed springs. He scratched his head, as though confused. Tarou finally decided that it was time to investigate. Diving downwards, he pulled up at the last moment, landing silently enough that the stranger didn't even notice. A splash of hot water from his thermos that he always carried, and he was human again.   
"You lost?" he asked loudly.   
The stranger started and spun to face him. He was black headband to keep back a thick mop of black hair. A large backpack was on his back. He was dressed in black pants and a light T-shirt.   
The young man gave a weak smile. "I'm looking for someone," he replied.   
"There won't be anybody around here," Tarou replied. "This is the Jusenkyou. Cursed springs, you know. Fall into one of... _those_ pools and you turn into whatever drowned there long ago."   
The stranger swallowed nervously. "Well... I-I guess Ranma isn't here-"   
"Who?"   
"Ranma. Ranma Saotome."   
Tarou smiled. "Son of Genma Saotome? I'm looking for him."   
"I followed him here, but I think I'm lost..."   
Any further collaboration that might have ensued was cut off by a rustle in the bushes. Both immediately made ready to fight, snapping into combat stances.   
A giant panda suddenly burst out of the bushes with a speed that was frightening. Both stared in disbelief as the animal ran past on two legs, madly trying to escape something else.   
"GET BACK HERE!!!" a half-crazed female voice yelled. "I WON'T HURT YOU... _MUCH_!!!"   
Both young men were too dumbfounded by the panda to prepare for the even faster form of a red-headed girl that ran them down like a steamroller. Both went flying off the edge of the cliff towards the springs below. 

********************* 

Ryouga realized he was falling. Falling quickly. Towards some sort of cursed springs. This was bad. But it didn't involve directions, which meant that he was able to figure something out. Specifically, he yanked off his cloak and turned it into a sling. With a quick toss, he snagged an outstretched branch with the loop, halting his fall with a yank.   
Breathing a sigh of relief, he thanked the kami that he hadn't been in one of his wandering dazes. He would have been underwater before coming to his senses. He looked at the nearby pool and the sign next to it. His halfway decent understanding of Chinese was enough to make out the words on the sign.   
"Spring... of... drowned... black... pig," he read, gulping in horror. Gods, had he ever come close to disaster!   
There was no sign of the young man with the dragon-scaled clothing. Or of the panda and the red-headed girl. Back to trying to find Ranma, that meant.   
With a sigh, Ryouga carefully slid down the side of the cliff, looking around to find his way out of the cursed springs. 

********************* 

Tarou was falling, and he knew it was a bad thing. He didn't know who that girl was, but he'd pound her into mush when he caught her. But first things first...   
Grabbing his water bottle, he ripped off the top and poured water on himself. His wings were flapping before they had even formed fully, straining to stop his descent. He could see the spring getting closer and closer...   
At the last moment, he managed to pull up, rocketing across the springs at surface level. He wheezed in relief, cursing his being caught off guard like he had. But he was safe now. There was no telling what had drowned in the spring long ago. For all he knew, it was a pig or something...   
Then he realized that he was still moving. Very fast. And there was a cliff face in the way. With a smash, he collided with the rock, shattering it for good measure before finally being knocked unconscious by a small landslide. 

********************* 

He didn't know how long he was unconscious, but his returning to consciousness was a prelude to heaving all the fallen rock off of him. Staggering to his feet/hooves, he looked around, determining that no one was nearby. Getting his bearings, he remembered that he was at Jusenkyou. That meant... the guide`s house would be just over... _there_. He could get some hot water there and resume searching for Saotome. 

********************* 

"You okay, Mr. Customer?"   
"I'm fine!" Tarou growled. He was in a bad mood. The bump on his head wasn't helping matters any.   
"Why you come to Cursed Springs of Jusenkyou again?"   
"I'm looking for someone!"   
"Too bad. Only two people come here in last month."   
Half a second later, the Jusenkyou Guide had been lifted bodily off the floor, despite his girth. "_Two_ people! Who were they? What did they look like!?" Tarou demanded.   
"Man and boy! They train in martial arts, man say. I warn them, but they not listen..."   
Tarou set him down. "They fell into springs? Which ones?"   
"Man fall into Spring of Drowned Panda. Boy fall..."   
"-Into Spring of Drowned Girl?" Tarou wasn't stupid. That 'boy' was the one who'd run him off the cliff before! He'd been so close! But they couldn't have gone far...   
"Did they say where they were going?" he asked.   
"Man say they go to Japan."   
"Where in Japan?"   
"He say 'Tendou Dojo'. He leave two days ago."   
Tarou let out a laugh. He had been set back, and had lost two days. They would be hard to find. But if he knew where they were going to be... he could wait for them. It was a small step, finding this Genma Saotome, but he could afford to be patient. Sooner or later, Happousai would be his and so would a new name. 

******************* 

Two days later, he alighted on the eastern shore of China for a breather. Normally, he could have flown for far longer, but the past few months had been terribly exhausting on him. He'd pushed himself beyond even his own considerable limits in an effort to catch up to Genma Saotome. But he could afford to take a rest now, since he knew where Genma would be heading. He could rest for two days straight if he wanted to. One day would be plenty, however. Just so he wouldn't drop while crossing the sea over to Japan.   
Landing with a gentle crash, he immediately doused himself with his thermos of hot water. The thermos had a large elastic cable around it that was designed to stay with him when he changed into his cursed form. After living his whole life with the curse, he had developed managing it into a literal art.   
He sitting down with a sigh of relief, he rubbed his shoulders to get the blood flowing into them again. He really had been pushing himself for too long now. If he wasn't careful, he'd find Happousai and be too tired to fight!   
Leaning back against a tree, he allowed his vision to go fuzzy from staring at the crashing waves as they forever pummeled the rocks. Sometimes it was refreshing to just forget about the cares of the world, fighting and even his name for a few hours. Someday, he would be able to do that whenever he wished, he was sure. Someday, it would all be worth it...   
"HEY!!!"   
Tarou snapped back to reality with a start, aghast at having been caught off-guard. Half a second later, the fault had been remedied. "Who are you?" he demanded, hands already brought up in preparation for a fight.   
The newcomer looked a little taken back. "Geez, you're paranoid!"   
Tarou relaxed a little. "Most people just say 'hi'."   
"I already did, jackass. Twice. Would you rather I tossed you in the water to wake up?"   
Tarou gave a crooked smile. This boy would have been in for the shock of his life if he had done just that. As it was, Tarou had decided that the newcomer was no threat. Interestingly enough, the boy didn't seem to be Chinese. Definitely Japanese.   
"So what are you doing out here?"   
"Just getting some rest before I leave for Japan. Who are you?"   
The boy gave an easy smile. "Name's Ukyou. How 'bout you?"   
A pause. "Call me Tarou."   
"Nice to meet you."   
Tarou returned the bow, finally noticing the giant metal utensil strapped to Ukyou's back. "What are _you_ doing out here?"   
"Training."   
Tarou laughed. "Swimming lessons?"   
The stranger brandished the utensil warningly. "Just give me an excuse to show you how much I've been training, jackass. You can be a warm-up before Saotome!"   
_That_ was interesting, Tarou decided. "Genma Saotome?"   
The weapon lowered itself slightly. "Yeah. Who's he to you?"   
"Somebody I'm chasing after."   
"You find him?"   
"Almost. I'm meeting him in Japan in a few days."   
He couldn't _believe_ how fast the other guy turned friendly. "Really? You mind if I come along? I've got enough money for a ticket back across the ocean."   
"I'm flying."   
Ukyou looked a little hesitant. "I _should_ be able to afford a plane ticket."   
Tarou chuckled. "Sorry. You can't afford to fly with me. Besides, I travel solo."   
"Fine, have it your way. Can you at least tell me where you're meeting him?"   
"Some place called the Tendou Dojo, I'm told. It's in Japan."   
A cold look crossed Ukyou face. "Good enough for me. You'd better get moving before I beat you to him."   
"You got a problem with him?" Tarou asked, mildly curious.   
"A little problem. None of your business."   
Tarou shrugged. "I didn't say it was. Trust me, I'll be done with Saotome before you even reach Japan." If he'd thought otherwise, he wouldn't even have given a location. But as it was, his cursed form would have him in Japan within a few hours. And Genma deserved whatever he got for making him go through so much to find him.   
Ukyou just smiled, sheathing the giant spatula on his back and walking away. "Later, buddy. Thanks for the directions."   
"No skin off my back." 

**************** 

Several hours later, Tarou was flying over the skies of Japan. 


	3. Tendou Dojo

Tarou ½   
By Intrasonic 

Chapter 2: Tendou Dojo 

"I'm looking for the Tendou Dojo."   
The waitress shook her head. "Nowhere in this city named that. Is that for martial arts?"   
"That _is_ what a dojo is for," Tarou agreed slowly.   
"Then you should go to Nerima. The whole city is really into martial arts, I've heard."   
"Thank-you."   
Tarou left the bar, wrapping his green cloak around him as he saw the falling rain. One week of this ridiculous questioning was getting his patience on edge. But he was getting close, he knew. Just a little bit longer. 

************** 

It was still raining when he landed outside of the Nerima limits. First thing was first. He needed to find shelter so he could transform back. And he needed to do it without scaring anybody. Not that he had anything against scaring people, but he preferred it to be intentional, and delayed until the last moment.   
Several hours later, shelter was nowhere to be found, but the rain had let up, letting him use his thermos of hot water. Muttering a few curses over the wasted time, he headed into the city, hoping he could get a location before the supper hour.   
He stopped the first person he met. "Can you tell me where the Tendou dojo is?"   
"What's it worth to you?"   
Tarou blinked and looked at the girl. Short brown hair and what was probably a school uniform. Tarou might have considered her good looking, but something about the glint in her eyes squelched that thought. "I beg your pardon?" he asked, doing his best to sound polite.   
"You're obviously new here, and you're obviously lost. If you want to know where the Tendou Dojo is, it'll cost you-"   
"Oh, lay off, Nabiki!" another girl interrupted disgustedly, catching up. "You have no shame at all."   
Tarou smiled at the second girl. She had long black hair, and could possibly be called cute, if a little young for his tastes. He preferred more exotic looking females. But he was smart enough to know that fists only solved half the world's problems. Charm could solve the rest. "I don't mean to be a bother, miss, but I'm here looking for the Tendou Dojo."   
She smiled in return. "I'm Akane Tendou. I live there."   
Tarou's smile grew even bigger. Damn, but he had finally struck the jackpot! "I don't mean to intrude, but may I trouble you for directions there? I would like to talk with the owner... your father?" He raised an eyebrow inquiringly.   
Akane nodded. "We're headed there now. You can come with us."   
After professing his gratitude - not altogether insincere - Tarou fell into step with them.   
"So what's your name?" the girl named Nabiki asked.   
Tarou gritted his teeth, his face reddening slightly. "Call me Tarou."   
"From China?"   
He nodded.   
"So what brings you here to Japan?"   
"Business."   
"At my home?"   
"Yes."   
Nabik didn't bother to hide her irritation at the lack of answers. "Perhaps we might even be able to help you with that 'business'. Although we wouldn't know at the moment."   
"I came all the way from China to meet the Legendary Japanese Interrogators," Tarou replied casually, prompting a giggle from Akane and a scowl from Nabiki.   
"Don't mind her, Tarou," Akane soothed. "She's like that. If it's none of our business, it's none of our business."   
Tarou nodded briefly. He had probably made an enemy of the brown haired girl, but the black haired one was friendly enough. He would do what he could to stay in her good graces. "So... you two on your way back from school?"   
"Just got out," Akane confirmed. "We go to Furinken High-" She stopped short. "I guess you wouldn't know where that is."   
"I may be here a few days. It never hurts to learn about the local area. I was told that this area is really into martial arts."   
Nabiki yawned. Akane brightened. Tarou understood exactly, focussing his attention more on Akane again..   
"I practice martial arts," Akane agreed. "Been training at home since childhood."   
"And in the school yard," Nabiki added.   
"What style?"   
"Anything-Goes," she replied. "It's a little rare."   
"I've heard of it before." He had. Genma Saotome apparently practiced that style. And he had apparently been taught it by Happousai. Better and better.   
"The style without a style?" he quoted with a smile. (Oooh, that rhymed :P)   
Akane returned the smile. "Some people call it that. But it's hard to master. Do you practice martial arts?"   
"It's kept me busy in my spare time," he agreed, wondering how good she really was.   
"Maybe you and I can spar some other time," she offered. "There aren't many _good_ fighters in the city. What style do you use?"   
"Cotton Fist," Tarou offered. "You probably haven't heard of it. It's not very common these days. I would be happy to spar to with you. Us martial artists have to keep in practice, right?"   
Akane laughed again, but Nabiki's eyes narrowed. The young man in the dragon-scaled clothing was no idiot. She could see him calculating every comment he made, and there was a whole life time behind him. And then there was that flush when she'd asked him his name. 'Tarou' was obviously a false name. She made a promise to learn more about him if it looked like he was going to be around any longer. 

************** 

"I'm home!"   
"Daddy, there's a strange man who wants to talk with you."   
"He's not a strange man! He's got more manners than you do!"   
"Please," Tarou soothed, playing the role of the peace keeper. "I don't want to be the cause of any fighting." Not at the moment, anyway.   
A middle-aged man came into view, dressed in a purple gi. He was holding a post card with a picture of a panda on it. He looked the guest up and down. "I am Soun Tendou, the owner of this Dojo."   
Tarou bowed politely. "Call me Tarou. My pleasure to meet you. Is there somewhere we could talk? I am here on some rather important business."   
The man seemed rather distracted, glancing at the postcard as he thought.   
"I don't want to interrupt," Tarou continued. "May I make a long story short?"   
"Please."   
"I have received information that a man named Genma Saotome will be arriving here shortly and I wish to talk with him about something important. Rest assured, I mean him no harm." Not unless he refused to talk, anyway.   
Soun looked surprised, finally giving him all his attention. "Why, yes. I just received this post card today, saying the same thing! He should be here within the day, I expect."   
Tarou chuckled quietly. Perfect. He cleared his throat. "Then, may I encroach upon your roof for a short time? I can pay, of course..."   
"Nonsense! We'll be having supper within the hour. Why don't you join us? As our guest? We don't get many visitors these days."   
"I am honored by your hospitality," Tarou replied, bowing again. "Please, don't let me disturb you any longer."   
"Not at all. You are certainly a well-bred young man. A martial artist?"   
Tarou nodded. "You teach the Anything-Goes style here, your daughter said."   
"Indeed. We are one of the last families to practice it. The only other family is the Saotome family."   
"My compliments on your dedication. Would you object to me using your dojo for some practice? I can use the backyard if you'd rather..." Except that the pond might be a nuisance.   
"By all means. I believe Akane is in the dojo now. She likes to practice after school. I'm sure she'd love to spar with you!"   
Tarou bowed a third time before heading towards the dojo. That had gone well, he decided. He was in the owner's good graces, as well as one of his daughters. Even better, the daughter was interested in martial arts, which would no doubt make her opinion mean more to her father than that of his other daughter. All that was missing was a certain Genma Saotome, which would no doubt be remedied soon. Perfect. 

**************** 

The sound of splitting bricks was audible before he'd even reached the dojo behind the house. He entered silently, the girl named Akane not even noticing his approach. She was presently engaging in a series of katas. He let himself study her style for several moments. Strength oriented fighting style, he could tell. Rather lacking in speed and defence. Her patterns were somewhat based on an ideal opponent, but would have a great deal of trouble against someone faster than her. He decided that she wasn't used to fighting against skilled opponents. A sparring match would be a good way to get into her graces even more, but if he went all out he had a hunch that he'd really hurt her. Quite easily, in fact. That would be doubly bad. One, he would have made her look like a weakling, and two, her father would be upset. So he would have to hold back enough to keep things even, but not so much as to make it obvious.   
He started forwards, not even hiding his footsteps anymore, having deciding on his plan of action. Unless Akane was seriously holding back, he would have no trouble gratifying her desire for a sparring match.   
She saw him approach and smiled. "Care for a match?"   
He nodded, setting his cloak off to the side. "You're not the type to go easy on people, are you?" he asked innocently.   
"As long as you're not," she replied, bowing briefly.   
Tarou returned the bow and let her attack. She was aggressive, that much became obvious. He twisted around the first few blows, guessing that she was testing him first.   
His guess proved correct, as her punches smoothed out and increased in force. Rather than dodge them like he could have easily done, he took to knocking them aside as though he was being pressed somewhat.   
Akane backed up after a moment. "You're not attacking me!" she accused.   
He smiled. "My apologies. But many styles concentrate on waiting for ideal moments to strike. Mine is one of those. I was still waiting for you to give me an opening."   
Akane flushed slightly at the implied compliment. "Oh. Okay then..."   
Tarou resumed defending himself against her. It was only a moment before he saw an opening in her attacks. It was rather blatant, and he had a hunch she had done it deliberately.   
Lashing out, he punched twice, the first hitting her arm and the second striking her shoulder. Not hard enough to do any damage, but enough to make her feel it.   
Judging from the satisfied sound Akane made, he had judged correctly. In short, she was a moderately skilled fighter who relished the occasional real challenge she was given. He would be happy to oblige her. 

It was about half an hour later that Nabiki appeared in the entrance. Tarou saw her there, but he didn't think Akane did. Easing around her punches, he caught her in a gentle throw that she recovered from easily. But it served to break up the fight.   
"Your sister is quite good," he informed her, rubbing his arm gingerly. Truth be told, even the hits he had let her score hadn't done any damage. But the gesture would no doubt satisfy Akane.   
"She trains a lot," Nabiki agreed. "Say, why do you have some pantyhose tied around your waist?"   
Tarou let out a growl of rage, but quickly contained himself. "That... is a long story. I am not a pervert. I am not a sicko. I am not wearing it by choice."   
Akane cut in. "Lay off, Nabiki. It's none of your business anyway. It's obvious that he's not like that."   
Nabiki nodded briefly, although was plainly still curious. "Anyway, I'm sorry to interrupt, but daddy wants to talk to us, Akane. Right away."   
"Okay, I guess."   
Tarou bowed to her again. "Thank-you for the match, Akane. I don't get too much of a chance to spar with people these days." Aside from cutthroats and bar rabble lately.   
She returned the bow. "Neither do I! I guess I'd better go see dad."   
"Don't let me keep you then. I'll just practice on my own for a bit."   
She nodded, then quickly ran out of the dojo. Tarou smiled. Things were still going perfectly. He would guess that her father wanted to talk with his daughters about the arriving guest. 

*************** 

Rather than practice, Tarou took up a meditating position in the backyard, under the blossom tree. One, it offered a flat rock to sit on, and two, more importantly, it was a good distance from the pond. This was one time when his cursed form would do more harm than good. Best of all, he could hear the commotion in the living room. It also had the mild advantage of looking poetically appropriate to any passer-byers.   
"Akane's right, daddy. We've never even met this 'Ranma'."   
"That's easily remedied. He and his father have been on a training trip for ten years. For some of it, they crossed into China."   
"What's so big about China?"   
"That's where Tarou's from."   
"So what's this 'Ranma' like? Is he cute?"   
"I don't know. I've never met him."   
A drop of water hit the stone in front of him, making Tarou jump up quickly, wrapping his cloak around himself, even as the rain started. That had been close, he decided, heading indoors. Actually, maybe he would just keep his cloak about him. It covered up the stupid piece of pantyhose he had to wear.   
"Just started to rain," he apologized, in explanation of his abrupt entry.   
"This is stupid, dad!" Akane continued, obviously not put off by the guest's presence. "Engaging one of us to someone we've never met!?"   
A stray thought flitted through Tarou's mind. Genma Saotome was coming. With his son Ranma. Mr. Tendou had engaged one of his daughters to someone... Genma's son. Ranma was his name? But...   
Tarou's face flushed red as he struggled to keep from bursting out laughing. This was going to be the funniest thing he'd ever seen in his life!   
"Are you alright?" It was another young lady. She looked to be older than Akane or Nabiki, but certainly not old enough to be a Mrs. Tendou. Another daughter, he guessed.   
"I'm alright," he assured her. "Just got up too quickly before..." He raised an inquiring eyebrow.   
"Kasumi," she offered cheerfully.   
"My pleasure to meet you," he agreed, bowing briefly. "Could I trouble one of you for directions to the kitchen? I need a drink of water right now."   
"I'll help you," Kasumi offered, leading him away. "Nabiki mentioned you," she commented.   
"Oh?" _That_ sounded like a loaded statement. What had Nabiki told Kasumi about him?   
"You mustn't be too offended by Nabiki. She can be rather... annoying at times. You seem like a very nice young man."   
"Around three lovely young women like yourselves, it's hard not to be," Tarou replied easily.   
"Oh my! You're such a tease!" she giggled, pouring him a glass of water.   
Tarou took it, sipping lightly. He might be a hard-edged martial artist, but he could ooze charm with the best of them when necessary. Right now, it was necessary.   
The sound of the front door opening echoed through the house. Followed by several other loud noises.   
"That must be Ranma!" Nabiki exclaimed happily.   
Tarou thought quickly. _Very_ quickly. Ranma was coming in. It was raining out. This could create some problems. Not that he actually _cared_, but he didn't feel like delays right now.   
"This kettle hot?" he asked quickly.   
"Yes, but-"   
Tarou was already moving like the wind, briefly putting on a display of speed that would put the best Olympic sprinter to shame. Not even Soun saw him blur through the living room towards the front door.   
The door was pushed open by the arrivals, who obviously didn't even care enough to knock. A panda stomped in, carrying a red headed girl on its shoulder. Tarou smirked. "Hey, you two. Care for some hot water?"   
The panda looked at him incredulously for a moment. A sign appeared. [ Yes please ]   
Tarou tossed it on him and let the two return to their normal forms. A middle aged man in a white karate gi with glasses tied around his head. And a young man, probably sixteen or seventeen years old. He looked quite fit, certainly on par for a martial artist. And he was sizing up Tarou right now.   
"What's your problem, kid? Your guests are waiting for you. Think nothing of the hot water. Just don't make things complicated, got it?"   
Without waiting for a reply, Tarou returned to the family room, even as Soun and Nabiki came running past to meet the guess, Nabiki wanted to know if he was cute. Tarou just chuckled, deciding that Ranma was _very_ cute. But the Tendou daughters were probably more concerned about the male side.   
"Hellooo!" Nabiki exclaimed in delight. Obviously she approved of the male side.   
"Saotome, my friend! It is good to see you again!"   
"You too, Tendou. I had no idea you had a son too..."   
"He's just a guest," Soun explained. "You have told Ranma about our plan?"   
"O-of course!"   
"Stupid old man! I didn't ask for this! I don't know what you're talkin' about, but if you think you're gonna just marry me off to somebody I never even met, you've got something coming! Like this!"   
A brief shuffle, then the older man was hurled bodily down the hallway.   
"Insolent boy! Is that how you treat your elders! Take this!" 

Tarou chuckled at the incredulous expressions that Akane and Kasumi wore. "Looks like he got as much warning as you two did, huh?" He sidestepped deftly as the younger boy came flying into the room bodily, having been thrown in return.   
"That'll teach you to respect your elders!"   
The boy was on his feet, paying no mind to the somewhat stupefied occupants in the room. "Bring it on, old man! I'll kick you right back to China!"   
The invitation was accepted, the two Saotomes quickly engaging in a rapid exchange of stationary blows.   
Akane came up beside Tarou. "That's Ranma Saotome?"   
Tarou nodded. "Looks like it. Looks like he doesn't want it either."   
She looked thoughtful. "He's pretty good, isn't he?"   
"Not too bad," Tarou agreed, smirking as several obscure Chinese curse words drifted out from the fight.   
Akane kept silent, watching the two fight it out. She'd never seen two people move so fast in her life, especially the younger one. He was throwing punches in groups of five in the same amount of time it would have taken her to throw one. And he was dodging the majority of his father's punches too. The older one was taking more hits, obviously relying on his superior strength and weight to show through. She had a hunch that her standing as one of the city's best martial artists had just been compromised. This boy was even better than Tarou had been before...   
Her latest assessment was quickly compromised as Tarou broke the fight up, somehow darting into the maelstrom of blows without being scratched and collaring each of them in one hand. "That was very entertaining, boys, but you're guests, right? No fighting."   
Both were a little stunned at how they'd been disarmed, but recovered quickly.   
"Tell that to the old man there."   
"You tell the boy."   
"Saotome, it's so good to see you!" Soun wept, as though nothing had happened.   
"And you too, Tendou," the older man agreed, looking slightly emotional himself.   
Soun went to the center of the room to address everybody. "This is my dear friend Genma Saotome, and his son Ranma. As I said, they have just returned from a training trip in China. Now I have some good news for you. Long ago, before you were born, we made a vow that our families would be united in holy matrimony."   
Tarou saw four expressions appear on four people in the room.   
Kasumi - worried.   
Nabiki - cynical.   
Akane - outraged.   
Ranma - disgusted.   
Soun put an arm around Ranma. "So, my son, these are my lovely daughters. Kasumi, age nineteen. Nabiki, age seventeen. Akane, age sixteen. Pick one and she'll be your fiancee."   
Ranma gaped in disbelief.   
Tarou decided to put a calculated wrench into the works. "A pity," he muttered loudly. "He knows absolutely nothing about them."   
The two older men looked at each other. "That's true, Saotome," Soun mused.   
"Quite true. I suggest a one month period. Then he will make his choice!"   
"Excellent!"   
No one seemed any more thrilled, but they did look somewhat relieved by the delay.   
"Now, Saotome, let's celebrate! We'll break out the sake!" the two men danced out of the room like overeager children. The remaining five people were briefly silent. Then all stares turned towards Tarou.   
He shrugged. "A problem?" he invited.   
No one said anything.   
"Good." Tarou followed the two men. Now he could go talk with Genma without distractions. Perfect. 

*************** 

"Another toast!"   
Tarou coughed at the doorway to get the two men's attention. "I hate to be rude," he began, "but may I talk with you, Mr. Saotome?"   
Soun nodded towards Genma. "He was expecting you to be here, Saotome. He means no ill harm towards you."   
Genma grunted. "Very well, boy. I'm here. What's your business?"   
Tarou sat down across from him. "Thank-you. I've been tracking you for some time now. You're a hard person to find. At any rate, let me be blunt. I'm trying to find someone. Someone you know, probably better than anyone else alive. His name is Happousai."   
Both men went white. The sake bottle crashed to the ground noisily.   
Two people were already at the doorway. Akane and Ranma.   
"What's wrong?" Akane demanded, already in a fighting stance.   
"He making trouble?" Ranma demanded, eyeing Tarou. He was possibly a little miffed at having his fight broken up earlier.   
Tarou paid them no mind. The two older men saw to it that he didn't have to do anything.   
"Out!" Soun hissed at them. "You're too young! You're innocent to the world! You must leave! Please!"   
"For your own good, boy," Genma agreed. "Some things you must never learn about."   
Two blank stares stood at the doorway.   
"They just dropped a bottle of sake," Tarou explained. "I'm not here on anything bad. I'm just asking for information about-" his mouth was abruptly clamped shut by two pairs of hands.   
"G-go get dinner ready, Akane!" Soun suggested frantically. A groan of horror and an 'oh my' was heard from the living room.   
"You mean it?" Akane asked joyfully. "Right away!"   
"Take Ranma with you!" Genma suggested.   
Akane seemed too giddy to argue, as Ranma was quickly dragged away too.   
Soun locked the doors and sat back down, still shaken. "That was close..."   
"What's going on?" Tarou demanded in disbelief. "I just want to know about-"   
Genma cut him off. "We know what you want, boy. But don't mention his name. He might just come back..."   
It was a moot issue, Tarou decided. "Fine. _Old pervert_. I'm looking for him. You trained under him, Genma. Some say you were the one who snuffed him out."   
"We both trained under him," Soun confirmed.   
Even better, Tarou decided. He'd found _two_ students of Happousai's. Obviously it had been some serious training, to make them _this_ scared twenty years later. "Twenty years ago, he disappeared," he stated. "How?"   
"We got him drunk, then tied him up and buried him in a cave with dynamite. We sealed him in with several wards."   
Tarou nodded. "I see. Well, where is the cave? I need to talk with Happousai."   
"We will never tell! It's deep in China, where no one will ever find it!"   
Tarou had to concede that. China was a big place, even when you could cover distance by air. An obscure little cave, plants probably grown over it after twenty years... he would waste his whole life trying to find it. "Where is the cave?"   
"Sorry, boy. That knowledge goes with us to our grave."   
"What if your grave was about to be dug in the next hour?" Tarou suggested meaningfully.   
"So be it," they chorused resolutely.   
Another angle, then. "Very well then. As the two masters of Anything-Goes Martial Arts, I challenge you to a duel. I'll fight you both at the same time. If I win, you show me exactly where the cave is. You can't possible refuse a challenge like that."   
They both shook their heads. "We refuse," Genma stated. "You cannot possibly imagine the horrors that would be unleashed."   
"Listen," Tarou growled, his patience beginning to wear thin. "I need to talk with Happousai. If you like, I'll kill him right after. I expect that I'll have to pound him to a pulp to get what I want, and I can do it. I'm a lot stronger than you'd ever believe."   
"No one can defeat The Master," Soun emphasized. "No one."   
Desperate measures, then. "What if I threatened your daughters? You don't have a prayer of stopping me, I might add."   
Soun gulped, but gradually got his resolve back. "I'm sorry. Perhaps it would be best if my daughters were gone when he returned."   
Tarou couldn't believe this. How bad could Happousai possibly be? Even his own daughters weren't enough. They had come close, but not close enough. There had to be something else. Every man has his price, Tarou firmly believed. And he needed that information. The two men in front of him had just become his last hope of getting a new name...   
Then it hit him. He chuckled evilly. "This engagement," he began quietly. "You're really pushing for it. Your kids don't seem to want it at all. What if I was to talk with them and give them some quick lectures on how to make a united stand against you. How would you like for your kids to _never_ get married?"   
Both men gulped. Genma looked especially nervous. Apparently they both had a lot riding on the marriage.   
Tarou knew he had found what he was looking for. "What do you say to a deal? You want them to get married. They're not going to right now. But what if someone 'encouraged' them a little. They won't listen to you. I sure as heck wouldn't. But I think I can do better. What do you say? I get you two a willing engagement, you give me the directions. I can afford to stay here awhile."   
They looked at each other. "Let us talk about this," Soun asked quietly. "We'll let you know later on tonight. You may stay the night if you wish. Kasumi will find you a room."   
Tarou stood up. "Much appreciated, gentlemen. I leave you to your talking." With a brief bow, he left the room. 

************* 

He headed over to the dojo to do some training and to plan. He had a hunch that the two men were going to take him up on his offer. If they didn't, rocky times were surely up ahead for whoever was paired. (He'd make sure of it.) But he had a feeling that he could sort things out. You could marry an angel and a devil if you put them together right, he was convinced. Ranma and one of the Tendou daughters would be easy enough, given a little time. And he could afford to be patient, he decided. He really had no choice. Either he got the location of the cave, or he resigned himself to being a social outcast for the rest of his life. He wasn't permitted to lie about his name, which was why he always gave the 'call me Tarou' line to people. But if he was ever directly asked about his real name, he would either have to tell them or refuse outright. The second would probably be his course of action, but he knew from past experience that it didn't help things much either. And eventually, someone was going to ask about the pantyhose sash he was forced to wear as well...   
No matter. He had more important things. Once the Tendou men had accepted his proposal, he would set up the engagement and he would be on his way again. Until then, he would have to keep himself in shape. And maybe even learn something about the Anything-Goes Style of Martial. If he was to go up against the acknowledged founder and Grandmaster of the art, it was necessary that he know the style too. This would work out perfectly. 

Upon arriving at the dojo, he could hear the sounds of combat. An educated guess told him that Ranma and Akane were sparring with each other. A few more steps confirmed the guess. He wasn't surprised about the outcome at the moment. Ranma wasn't even attacking, letting himself cleanly dodge Akane's attacks. Tarou watched the two for awhile, picking out various aspects of the style as best he could. He knew that analysis was rather limited on the Anything-Goes Style, simply because of its style. Not enough patterns to go from. But knowing some specialized techniques would be useful. His cursed form had power, speed and endurance in abundance, but against Happousai, every edge would count, he was certain.   
"Fight back!" Akane demanded, lashing furiously.   
"I don't hit girls!" Ranma protested, dodging easily.   
Bad start, Tarou decided. Ranma needed to be friendly with each of the girls. Akane was getting angry at him for not taking her seriously. Admittedly, the match was clearly in Ranma's favor, but Tarou needed them friendly with each other.   
"Don't be such a hypocrite," he said loudly.   
Ranma, was knocked back as Akane got a hit in through his distraction. "What you talkin' about?" he demanded.   
"That part about you not hitting girls," Tarou replied with a chuckle. "Would you like me to get you some cold water before you continue the match?"   
Ranma looked nervous, indicating that the girls still had no idea about the Jusenkyou curses. That was good. Tarou hoped that he would be smart enough to keep it that way. "Now wait a minute..."   
"Why don't you take me on?" Tarou invited with a smirk.   
Ranma eyed him as he would an unknown factor.   
"Scared, _Fem-boy_?"   
_That_ worked just perfectly.   
"Fine with me!" Ranma decided, facing his new opponent.   
"Hey!" Akane protested, realizing that she'd just been excluded from the match.   
Tarou gave her a comforting smile. "Don't worry Akane. This won't take too long. Unless you want _Fem-boy_ to keep playing stupid games with you? I'll shape him up pretty quick."   
Akane held her tongue, deciding to watch the outcome. She'd seen how good Ranma was, and Tarou had only held his own against her...   
"Any time you're ready, _Fem-boy_," Tarou invited.   
Ranma lunged forwards, spurred on by the insult, letting out rapid streams of punches that Tarou easily wove around. Kicks were soon added into the equation, but they were just as easily dodged. Tarou chuckled. This was rather fun, actually. He'd dealt with better opponents before, but Ranma was pretty good. For his age, very good.   
"Almost. Keep trying. Anybody ever tell you that you hit like a _girl_?"   
Ranma was getting madder and madder as he failed to even connect with Tarou.   
Meanwhile, Akane was watching in amazement as Ranma failed to even touch his opponent. But she had gotten some hits through and he hadn't been that fast before...   
"Say, Akane. Read any... good books... lately?"   
She giggled in spite of newly found knowledge that he had held back against her. The look on Ranma's face was priceless right now. He was on the receiving end of the taunting now. Although she had to wonder why Tarou's insults seemed to all have something to do with being a girl. He didn't seem like the sexist type, even if the pantyhose he wore was a bit of a mystery. The brief surge of anger she had seen before was enough to convince that he wasn't wearing it by choice.   
"You done warming up yet?" Tarou asked innocently. "Akane, would you like me to start finger painting on him? I can if you like..."   
Akane burst out laughing at the look on Ranma's face. She was _almost_ tempted. But she had to feel a _little_ pity for Ranma. "Okay, Tarou, I think Ranma's got the idea."   
Tarou skipped back out of range. "Oh well. Thanks for the exercise, Ranma."   
"We're not finished yet," Ranma insisted. "Now I'm going to be serious!"   
"You can fight Akane if you want," Tarou replied. "I'll fight you again when you start showing a little respect for other martial artists."   
Ranma gaped as Tarou left the dojo. "Why that little..." 

Outside Tarou congratulated himself. Perfect. With some luck, Ranma would fight Akane properly again, if only for the privilege of challenging him again. Akane would probably know this, but would probably enjoy it anyway. With some luck, Ranma would too. And they'd get along better because of it.   
Later on, his satisfaction was made complete upon meeting with Genma and Soun. They had accepted his deal. Get Ranma and one of the Tendou daughters willingly engaged, and he had directions to where Happousai was. Everything was simply perfect. 


	4. Disciplinary Teachings

Tarou ½   
By Intrasonic 

Chapter 3: Disciplinary Teachings 

"Hurry up or you'll be late for school."   
"Why do I have to go to school?"   
"For your own good boy. Besides, you get to know two of your fiancees better this way."   
"We're not fiancees!"   
"We're not fiancees!"   
"Oh my."   
Tarou refrained from asking for some aspirin. It was only seven thirty in the morning. He would have to be patient and careful. The first order of business was to find a way to exert some influence on three out of the four significant people at school. He was too old to go to school. He needed another way to be at school. He would have to figure out a way quickly.   
"So, Tarou," Soun began, once all the concerned had left the room. "You are taking up this challenge?"   
"You just sit tight and wait. And whatever you do, do not try to force them together. Don't make any comments about the fiancee business at all. Don't even _suggest_ that they might be in love. Otherwise I'm going to _really_ hurt you. Understood?"   
The two men nodded cautiously.   
"Good. What time do they get back from school?"   
"Four, usually."   
Plenty of time. 

************* 

Leaving the house, he immediately broke into a fast run that let him catch up to the rapidly running students. They had just finished making sure the others realized that no engagement was going to take place. Now Akane was speeding up, yelling something about hating boys. Then they reached the school yard.   
It seemed that the boys were all trying to attack Akane. Ranma was stopped by Nabiki. Apparently this was quite normal. After several moments Akane had laid waste to them all. She was apparently quite talented in a situation that relied on excessive brute force and minimum precision.   
A kendoist was coming forwards now, spouting some poetry. Akane was obviously not too thrilled. Interesting. Ranma had apparently been 'too familiar' with Akane around the overprotective kendoist, who's name seemed to be Tatewaki Kunou. Tarou personally labeled him as 'Boken-boy'. The two fought it out. Ooooh, interesting, Boken-boy made some comment about Ranma being less than a man. Ouch. Ranma was obviously still angry about the fight last night. Manhood comments were a sure way to get him riled. Kunou was going to have quite a time disengaging his head from the wall. The group got inside just as it started to rain, luckily for Ranma.   
Tarou wrapped his cloak around himself, sizing up the situation. The fight that had just happened was apparently 'normal'. Tarou had a hard time accepting it. He had another suspicion that would solve all his problems if it was true. 

************* 

"Your school is a sorry sight where discipline is concerned."   
A aged man glared at him. "You came in to tell me _that_?"   
"You mean, this _isn't_ intentional?"   
"Of course not! Do you have any idea how many policemen have transferred from this school in the last two months?"   
Tarou chuckled. "Your discipline problem is on account of a lot of martial artists. A policeman won't solve anything. You need another martial artist. I'd be happy to offer myself for hire."   
The man looked at him skeptically. "You think you've got what it takes? Furinken has always prided itself on producing exceptional martial arts students."   
"Try me."   
Five minutes later, Tarou had been enlisted as the school's disciplinary teacher. The principle had even been willing to forgo uniform requirements. Tarou would start tomorrow. 

*************** 

It was around four o'clock that the students returned home. All three immediately sought out Tarou, who was in a small room normally reserved for storage. Kasumi had efficiently turned it into a small bedroom. Tarou's only insistence was that it be _dry_, which was true enough. That being the case, it was near luxury compared to what he normally endured.   
Tarou looked up from the book he was reading in order to face his pursuers. "Problem?"   
Akane gave him a smile. "We heard the news this afternoon. Are you really-"   
"Yes. I don't plan on freeloading here, you know."   
"Good luck," Nabiki offered, leaving again. Her tone plainly suggested that didn't mean a bit of it, and for some reason, would much rather the chaos continue.   
"You wanna spar?" Ranma asked.   
"I think I already explained my terms," Tarou replied, glancing over towards Akane.   
She gave him a nod. Apparently Ranma had smartened up and treated her a little more seriously. Good.   
"I'll meet you in the dojo."   
Ranma took off like a shot.   
"He's been obsessing about that all day," Akane giggled.   
"So he sparred with you again?"   
"Well, he doesn't hit very hard, but at least he doesn't do the stupid dodging thing. So come on. What about you? You held back big time against me when we sparred!"   
Tarou looked apologetic. "I won't deny that, Akane. But please, be honest. You saw how I did against Ranma. And you saw how he did against you. And I wasn't serious against Ranma. If I'd been serious against you..."   
Akane plainly wasn't impressed, but she couldn't very well deny it.   
"I don't actually hold back against you," Tarou said, doing his best to stay on her good side. "I just limit myself from using certain moves. Believe it or not, I _was_ pushing myself."   
She appeared somewhat consoled. "So why are you staying?"   
Tarou thought about how much he could say. Fortunately, he'd already put together an alibi for his presence. The exist of Happousai was not to be mentioned either in name or description, both Genma and Soun had been very clear on that. "I'm here on a training trip of my own, you might say. I have it on good authority that learning to defend against the Anything-Goes style is a goal well worth going for. Sampling culture is just an added bonus."   
The answer was a good one, judging by the smile on her face.   
"So what are you reading?"   
"Math."   
"These are textbooks!"   
"I never really did do much math before. I had to start at the grade four level."   
"You're at grade eight now."   
"I'm a fast learner."   
She shook her head. "You sure are... What's tomorrow?"   
"Chemistry."   
She only laughed at that. "Pretty soon I'll be able to ask you for help in my homework!"   
Tarou stood up, stretching his arms after an afternoon of reading. It was all part of briefly integrating himself here in Japan. He briefly marveled at what he was willing to go through in order to get the location of Happousai. A few more details, and he would have the groundwork laid for getting Ranma and one of the Tendou daughters together. Perfect. 

***************** 

"I-I'm glad to s-see you all," the vice-principle said nervously.   
One third of the student body stared at him. The other two thirds hadn't bothered to attend the announcement in the first place.   
"A-anyway, we have new disciplinary teacher. I-I thought you might like to know..."   
"Number twenty-one!" a student shouted. The crowd laughed.   
Tarou stepped up to the microphone. "All of you who took the trouble to come here, thank-you. I'll get to the point. I'm now the disciplinary teacher. A martial arts environment sounds nice to me. But apparently some people here are abusing their talents. That will stop. Immediately. Or those people will have their asses kicked. Thank- you." 

************** 

"Here she comes!"   
"Hey! It's the new discipline guy!"   
Even as Akane's running form became visible in the distance, Tarou was calmly walking into the clearing, imposing himself between the charging school-girl and the hordes of hormone crazed boys waiting to attack her as usual.   
"No more fighting, boys," Tarou called out with a sneer. "The bell is about to ring."   
Various insults rang forth from the crowd.   
"...hate..."   
"Get inside," Tarou ordered. "NOW!!!"   
No reply.   
"...BOYS!!!" came Akane's war-cry.   
With gut-wretching speed, Akane's drawn back arm was grabbed and yanked back hard enough to bring her to a stop. She spun around, lashing out with her free arm, which was promptly grabbed also. Undeterred, her right foot lashed out. Twisting slightly, Tarou scissored the lower leg in the crook behind his knee, letting himself stand on his remaining foot.   
"Would you like to try the other foot?" he asked, almost hopefully.   
The battle rage was passing from her eyes as she realized who had subdued her. "Tarou?"   
"I'm the discipline teacher. This ridiculous morning fight is not allowed anymore."   
"You presume to override mine declaration!"   
Tarou smirked as he saw Kunou striding forwards. He'd learned quick enough about the reasons behind the morning fight. Here was an easy way to nip it in the bud.   
"Ah, Boken-Boy," he greeted with a bow, releasing Akane from the hold. "Just the person I was looking for."   
"You dare address me as such!"   
"Yes."   
"You shall pay for your insolence!"   
Tarou came forwards until he was eye to eye with Kunou. "You will make an announcement to the school. You will tell them that the rule about defeating Akane is no longer in effect."   
"Worthless curr!"   
"Bone-headed psycho."   
"I shall smite thee!"   
"You will have to find yourself another weapon then," Tarou informed him calmly, now fingering the boken idly, having grabbed it from the other's hand.   
"You _dare_ steal my weapon!"   
"Yes, I do. Now about your upcoming announcement..."   
"Never! Akane Tendou shall date only my glorious self!"   
"Akane Tendou would just as soon stomp on your face."   
"You are merely blind, that you cannot see the passion she has for me!"   
Tarou glanced curiously over towards Akane, who was shaking her head disgustedly.   
"She has a lot of passion for you, Boken-Boy. Not the good type, I'm afraid. Maybe you need to hold off for awhile."   
"Indeed," Kunou sneered. "I invite you to do your worst!"   
Overhead, the old-fashioned school bell swung back and forth, ringing loudly to signal the students to come in for class.   
Tarou chuckled evilly. 

***************** 

There was a knock at the door.   
Tarou looked rather surprised. He hadn't expected anyone to come to his office so quickly after getting set up. It was only the first recess. "Come in," he invited.   
Saying that was a mistake. A _big_ mistake. Within several moments, approximately sixty young school girls had somehow fit themselves in his office.   
He gaped, finding himself backed up against the wall. This wouldn't be good for his image, he was certain.   
The girl at the front of the pack bowed, the rest following suit. "Honorable sensei," she breathed. "We have come to ask something of you."   
"Oh?" Something didn't seem quite right.   
"We would like you to pose for pictures with us."   
"_WHAT!?!_"   
"We would like you to pose for pictures with us."   
Something was definitely wrong here. "I heard that. All of you?"   
A nod.   
"But there must be fifty or sixty of you here!"   
"The rest are in the hallway."   
Something was _seriously_ wrong here. Tarou didn't like the way things were headed. There was a slightly predatory gleam in some of the girl's eyes.   
"Why are you doing this? I'm just the disciplinary teacher!"   
"You're much more than that, sensei!"   
"The way you effortlessly halted the advances of those pervert boys..."   
"The way you effortlessly knocked out that pervert Kunou..."   
"The way you effortlessly tied Kunou to the inside of the school bell..."   
Tarou let himself grin a little. He'd forgotten about Kunou. And he'd heard the recess bell ring a moment ago... his grin faded as the girls began to press in closer. Next time he'd let Kunou rampage over the entire school before he did anything to stop the violence.   
"Uh..." he thought his words over carefully. If this was their reaction to him beating up someone, there was no telling what they'd do if he outright refused them. "I'm afraid I'm very busy right now, ladies," he suggested hopefully. "Maybe... some other time, okay? Duty calls, right?"   
After ten more minutes of explaining, he was finally able to empty the office of all the schoolgirls and sit down in his chair in relief. He didn't know what was with this ridiculous school, but he didn't plan on spending any more time than necessary. Now, to work on the most important issue. Getting Ranma and one of the Tendou girls married.   
They weren't in any of the same classes, the records showed, so he would have to fix that. Perhaps a school-wide student rearrangement would be enough to justify them 'accidently' winding up in most of the same classes. With such an arrangement, they would be free to help each other with things like homework and assignments. Not especially romantic, but it would be a good base to build upon. 

*************** 

Once he arrived home, it didn't take long for him to receive an earful. It seemed that the class rearranging that he'd done had been somewhat unsatisfactory for some people.   
"Ah, Tarou, just the person I was looking for."   
"Imagine finding me in my _room_ of all places," he agreed with a smirk.   
She smirked too. "You'd be surprised how little time everyone else spends in their rooms. Now in regards to the reorganization you've done-"   
"It's final," he stated firmly. "Unless you can give me a good reason to change it."   
She smiled evilly. "Nothing yet, but don't worry, I'll find _something_. At any rate, it seems that you got mobbed by adoring fans earlier today..."   
He looked a little irritated. "And what would you know about that?"   
"Moi? Everybody in the school knows about it. This is the biggest thing since the guys started trying to defeat Akane in combat. The entire female population thinks you're to die for, Tarou-baby. So how would you like to make some cash on the side?"   
"I wouldn't."   
"Are you sure? A few quick photos, and I could rake in a bundle. I could cut you in for some of the profit."   
"I have my pride."   
"You must if you can afford to walk around with some lingerie tied around your waist."   
Tarou's eyes narrowed. He gave her what might have been a gentle smile. His burning eyes ruined any chance of it being taken that way. "Don't take this the wrong way, Nabiki, but you're walking on _very_ dangerous ground. I am not a pervert, I am not a sicko, and I am not wearing it by choice."   
"Oh? Do tell?"   
"_That_ is none of your business."   
"So why are you here, anyway? Akane says you're here to learn about the Anything-Goes Style of martial arts."   
He nodded. "The Tendou and Saotome families are the only two that practice it anymore."   
"So why are you so concerned about what happens at school?"   
"It's my job. I don't care what happens once I'm gone, but it's my job right now. I don't plan on freeloading, you know."   
"How nice. Unlike two other guests, I might add. So you won't change your mind about the photos?"   
"No. Now if there's nothing else?"   
"Nothing else," she agreed. The predatory gleam in her eyes hadn't disappeared. She clearly didn't like how the conversation had gone, but couldn't do anything about it. Yet.   
Tarou could tell that this wasn't over yet. So be it. Nabiki clearly wasn't the least bit suited for marriage to Ranma. He would work on Kasumi and Akane all the more. And enjoy some verbal and mental sparring matches with Nabiki all the while. Although somewhat more complicated, things were still going perfectly. 

************** 

At a remote Japanese harbor, a ship was unloading cargo. A lone figure descended down the ramp. It hadn't been the best way to travel, but money had been in short supply for the martial artist. Aside from the occasional glance at the large spatula strapped to the young man's back, no one even gave him a second glance.   
Now Ukyou had to find the Tendou Dojo. It had been fortunate that she'd been given directions. Otherwise she might have been searching for quite some time. 


	5. A Golden Pain in the Ass

Tarou ½   
By Intrasonic 

Chapter 4: A Golden Pain in the Ass 

"'In regards to _anyone_ who wishes to register complaints directly or partially regarding the change in class enrollment, please consult a Ouija board to speak to someone who will show more concern than the occupant behind this door.'" 

Ranma scowled and shrugged towards Akane. "See? Looks like it's pretty final."   
She nodded, also scowling. "He's taking his job pretty seriously, isn't he?"   
"You _want_ Kunou chasing you like that?" Ranma asked incredulously. "I mean, at least Tatewaki's not in your class anymore."   
She sighed, acknowledging the point. "I guess it's fine."   
"Uh... I didn't say anything, did I?"   
She gave him a smile. "No. It's nothing. You want to get grab a soda or something?"   
He checked his pockets and found some change. "Uh sure. I won't tell my dad if you don't tell yours, okay?"   
She nodded. "They'd probably take it the wrong way."   
Keeping a more than healthy distance from each other, they left the school grounds. Behind the doors, Tarou smirked. Geez, but things were perfect! The two would have been at each other's throats if not for him, probably. Just a little subtle influencing here and there, and things were suddenly rosy. Not romantic, but that would come later.   
A knock at the door snapped him from his thoughts.   
"Come in," he invited, wondering if someone had possibly not gotten the message on the door. He had done his best to put things into perspective...   
The person entered. It was Yuri, one the girls who hung around Akane.   
"Yes?"   
"Mr. Tarou," Yuri acknowledged nervously. "There's two guys fighting outside."   
"Who?"   
"I don't know. No one's ever seen either of them. But they're causing some pretty bad property damage."   
Tarou got up with a sigh. Duty called. 

By the time he got outside, a sizeable crowd had gathered to watch the fight. Numerous trees and walls had been either sliced or battered down by this time.   
"You jackass! Ranma will fight me!"   
"Stand still and fight like a _man_, you coward! I owe Ranma Saotome! I've been through HELL to find him!"   
"Well I've been through a worse hell!"   
"You will be when I'm done with you!"   
Tarou recognized both of them. The first was the young man he'd come across before crossing into Japan. Ukyou, he had given his name as. The second was the person who'd almost come to grief at Jusenkyou alongside him. He never had gotten his name at the time. Interestingly enough, he seemed to be fighting with a bamboo umbrella now.   
"What on earth are they fighting about?" he demanded.   
Nabiki approached him. "I think they both want to fight with Ranma."   
"Well, where's Ranma?"   
"He and Akane both went to the soda shop after school."   
Tarou's mind raced. This was a good thing. If he could distract the two from pursuing Ranma for awhile, the two would be able to spend some friendly moments together. All the better for pursuing his goal. So he would delay them...   
"You foul fiends!" Kunou shouted, running forward with his boken waving. "None but _I_ shall smite the foul Saotome!"   
The two fighters turned to face him. Kunou ran in, heedless of their attack stances. In the blink of an eye, a giant spatula had been imbedded in the kendoist's head. Another blink later, Kunou had been dealt a blow from an umbrella that sent him _through_ the school wall.   
"Now where were we?" Ukyou growled.   
"Taking a break," Tarou inserted firmly. "Now why don't you tell me what this is all about? What are your names?"   
"Ryouga Hibiki! Ranma Saotome goes to this school!"   
"Ukyou Kounji! I'm here to avenge myself on Ranma Saotome!"   
Tarou nodded thoughtfully. "I wish you both the best of luck then. That Saotome deserves everything he gets. But I'm afraid you have the wrong school. You want to go to St. Hebereke school. His enrollment here is nothing but a fake, to throw off any pursuers."   
They both nodded and ran off.   
Tarou chuckled evilly. "Well, that takes care of _that_."   
Nabiki eyed him thoughtfully. "Very smooth, Tarou-baby. But I think St. Hebereke is going to be a little angry when those two start fighting it out in front of their school."   
"Their problem, not mine." 

*************** 

Ukyou stood in front of St. Hebereke, her spatula brandished. She wasn't sure where the Ryouga character had gone, but so much the better. Now Ranma Saotome was all hers. She grabbed a nearby school girl by the collar. "Where's Ranma Saotome?!"   
"I-I..."   
"Well? Speak up!"   
"Is that a guy?"   
"Of course it is!"   
"This is a girl's school."   
Ukyou looked around. Nothing but girls. "I'll KILL that jackass!"   
"Who is that guy?"   
"He sure is cute!"   
"Let's get him!"   
Before she could even think to run, Ukyou was suddenly exposed to the raw horrors associated with Large Crowds of Male-Deprived Schoolgirls.   
"H-hey! You don't understand! Get away! I'm a-"   
  
*************** 

Ryouga stood in front of a school. Against all odds, he'd reached the school. He wasn't sure where the Ukyou character had gone, but so much the better. Now Ranma Saotome was all his. He collared a nearby student. "Where's Ranma Saotome?"   
"I-I don't know!"   
"You have to! He goes to St. Hebereke!"   
The student pointed to the sign outside the school wall.   
"Kolkhoz High School," Ryouga read quietly. 

*************** 

"One medium butterscotch," Akane requested.   
Ranma looked lost. "Um... same as her."   
She raised an eyebrow. Was that some sort of cheap pick-up line?   
"Is butterscotch good?" he whispered in an embarrassed tone of voice.   
"Haven't you ever had ice cream?" she scowled.   
"Well... not really."   
Her face softened. She would have been angry if he'd been trying to come on to her. She'd pounded the boys at school for less, hadn't she? But no, Ranma was different than them, she reminded herself. He had lots of bad points, of course. He was rude, egotistical, and he wouldn't take her seriously in a fight. But just the same... she could understand that ice cream might not have played a big part in his life while training.   
"It's good," she assured him with a smile.   
They sat down with their respective snacks and began to eat.   
"It's good!" Ranma decided, immediately inhaling half of his treat. His face turned a little flushed. "C-cold too!"   
Akane just laughed. "You'll learn quickly. So what do you think of Tarou?"   
Ranma shrugged. "He's okay, I guess. Something about him..."   
"His life is his own business."   
"I know. But he's good. Really good."   
"Jealous?"   
"I ain't jealous! But I did some pretty hard training. Whatever training he did, I want to know what it was."   
"What kinds of training did you do?" Akane asked.   
"Lots of stuff."   
"What kinds of 'stuff'?" she persisted.   
"We went to different training grounds." Like Jusenkyou, but there was no way Ranma was going to say anything about _that_. "Why?"   
He got a rather irritated look in reply. "What?" he protested.   
"Nothing!" she snapped, returning to her ice cream.   
"Okay," he agreed, although his mind was still whirling. Something was wrong, he was sure. Now what could it be? She'd gotten angry at him when he had given any details about his training. Did that mean she really wanted to know the details? Why would she want to know about his training that badly?   
"Hello?!"   
He shook his head. "Uh, hi."   
Akane's eyebrows furrowed. "What are you spaced out about?"   
He smiled. "That why you wanted to know about my training! Same reason I want to know about Tarou's training!"   
She turned red, her fists clenching. "Why you-"   
"That's okay," he agreed, having not even noticing her expression. "Let me try to remember a few of the training ground we went to..."   
Akane complexion instantly cleared up and her hands resumed spooning ice cream into her mouth.   
"Hey, your spoon's bent," Ranma pointed out. "They musta given you a bad one."   
She gave a nervous laugh. "Y-yes, they must have. Remembered any?"   
"Well, there was one that me and Pop went to when I was twelve. He had me learn to fight with my hands tied behind my back. I had to use my feet only, which was tough. The training ground was in the middle of a lake, so I had to stay on the stepping stones, which was hard in the rain. And Pop wouldn't rescue me when I fell in."   
Holy crap, Akane thought in disbelief. Her father would have drowned himself before even risking her safety like that. "Wow."   
Her father had never done anything remotely like that. "My father never did anything like that for me."   
"Well, Pop's a hard trainer. He kept talkin' about me being a 'Man among men' or something like that. I dunno. I just want to be the best martial artist in the world."   
"I guess this is a bad place to train then," she observed.   
"Well, there aren't many good martial artists around here. You have to make up your own training around here. That's why I run on the fences on the way to school."   
"I see," was all she said. Maybe she should do that too...   
"You should do that too," Ranma suggested, finishing off his ice cream. "I mean, you're strong and all, but you can't move around very good. That's why I can dodge you so easy."   
"Tarou can dodge _you_ easily!" she snapped.   
"That's why I want to know how he trained," Ranma pointed out. "He musta been training in his diapers or something. He's not any stronger than me, just way faster. It's like he never even bothered worrying about his strength. But that can't be right. He'd be sunk if he found someone that he couldn't hit hard enough to hurt..."   
"You don't take being beaten well, do you?"   
They both turned to see Tarou watching them with a smirk.   
"Aren't you working?"   
"Of course. Two people just showed up at school. They both wanted to kill you, Ranma. Now tell me, what do the names Ukyou Kounji and Ryouga Hibiki mean to you?"   
Ranma thought hard for a moment, then brightened. "Those are old friends of mine!"   
"Some friends. They were fighting each other for the chance to be the first to knock your head off."   
"Nah, we're old buddies," Ranma replied confidently, getting to his feet. "Where are they?"   
He chuckled. "On a wild goose chase. I told them you attended St. Hebereke. Imagine their surprise when they find out it's a girl's school!"   
"I better find them."   
"They'll be back, don't worry. They both looked really steamed at you."   
Ranma shrugged. Obviously, he wasn't too bothered by that prospect. "I'd better go find them. Ryouga could be in China by now, for all I know. He's like that."   
With that, he jogged out of the store. Or he would have, save for a mild interruption.   
"OOO!!! That ribbon is _soooo_ cute!"   
Ranma abruptly found his head yanked back by something that was either a bulldozer or a cute little girl in pink clothing. Actually, the second possibility didn't occur to him until he faced his attacker.   
"What are ya doin'?" he demanded angrily.   
The girl held up the strand that he used to tie his pigtail back. "Thomas! Thomas!"   
Ranma felt his blood grow cold. "My... give that back!"   
"It's Azusa's!!!" she protested, holding it away from him.   
Ranma realized that he wouldn't be able to retrieve it before... with a gasp, he charged out the door, holding the back of his head.   
"My. How _interesting_," Tarou observed with a frown.   
"Give that back," Akane asked firmly.   
"It's Azusa's!!! It's _Thomas_!"   
"It's a string," Tarou replied. "It's also not yours. Now return before I decide to pound your head into the wall."   
A polite cough that somehow conveyed the message 'I am now here, look at me', was heard from behind the thief/girl. "I am Mikado Sanzenin. Are you threatening my partner?"   
A painfully handsome young man was standing behind her now, looking rather hostile towards Tarou.   
"Yes," he replied bluntly. He wasn't exactly sure why he wanted that little string back, but the stealing of it had just ruined Ranma and Akane's peaceful time together. Therefore he wanted it back.   
"Then we seem to have a little disagreement."   
"No kidding. Give the string back."   
"Perhaps my partner wishes to keep it."   
"She'll find herself in a world of pain, pretty boy."   
"I think we have a challenge on our hands then."   
"A challenge?"   
"Yes. What do you say to a challenge? The winner gets the string."   
Tarou looked thoughtful. "Sounds good to me."   
"Excellent. Then we shall-"   
By this time, Tarou was already moving, and had landed half a dozen punches in Mikado's gut. The victim fell over in a heap, dazed.   
"You're not very tough," Tarou observed, rather surprised.   
Akane tapped him on the shoulder. "Tarou?"   
"Yes?"   
"They're not martial artists. Those two are known as the Golden Pair of Kholkoz High. They're the best skaters in Japan. I think he meant for the challenge to be a skating match."   
"Well, why didn't he say so before? A little late now."   
Tarou deftly snagged the string from Azusa's hand and walked out of the store.   
"Give back Thomas!"   
Tarou fixed her with a stare, then glanced downwards at Mikado's prone form meaningfully.   
"Thomas..." But Azusa apparently possessed some semblance of a brain, for she did not pursue him out the door. 

**************** 

It only took a few minutes for Tarou to find Ranma, mainly because he was returning to scene by now. For some reason, he was in his girl form. And his untied hair was almost touching the ground.   
"Hey, Fem-boy, what's up? Nice hair."   
Ranma flushed. "Where is she?"   
"I got your little string back. What gives?"   
"It's a Dragon's Whisker," Ranma replied, looking around carefully. "Where's 'kane?"   
"Back in the restaurant. What's a Dragon's Whisker?"   
"Long story. I have to tie my hair with it or else it grows like crazy."   
Tarou appraised the ground-length hair. No exaggeration. He handed back the Dragon's Whisker. "It's not growing now."   
"Only works on guys. I splashed myself with water and came back. Thanks."   
"Don't mention it. You'd better figure out what you're going to tell Akane."   
"Tarou!"   
Both swallowed as they heard Akane approach.   
"Hello Akane," Tarou offered cautiously.   
"Hi Ak-" Tarou pounded Ranma on the head, making him quiet up for the time being..   
"Have you seen Ranma?" Akane asked. "I don't know why he ran off like that."   
"No idea either," Tarou replied quickly.   
"Oh, who's this?"   
"Uh..."   
"This is a friend of mine," Tarou replied easily. "Her name is Jasmine."   
Akane smiled. "Pleased to meet you, Jasmine. I'm Akane Tendou."   
Ranma smiled nervously. "Likewise."   
"If I see Ranma I'll tell him you were looking for him," Tarou offered, trying to think of a reason to get rid of Akane for a short while. "Jasmine and I were... going to head over to the skating rink." Okay, so he still had skating on the brain after beating up Mikado.   
"Really? School's out, so mind if I come with you? I'm a fair skater."   
Both Tarou and 'Jasmine' gulped. "Uh..." they chorused.   
"I'll meet you there," Akane agreed. "My skates are at home."   
Without waiting for an explanation, she ran off towards home, leaving two cursing individuals.   
"Why'd you say that?!" Ranma demanded.   
"I didn't see you come up with any ideas, _Fem-boy_!"   
"But I've never skated in my life!"   
"Well, deal with it." Crap, Tarou reflected. He never had either. 

************** 

Neither was in a hurry to reach the skating rink, so Akane actually beat them there. She waved as she saw them.   
"Hey, you two! I thought you'd stood me up or something!"   
"Never!" they chorused. Actually that _had_ occurred to them, but Tarou didn't want to take the blame that would follow.   
"Just walked slow?" she guessed. She gave them a mischievous smile. "You two make a cute couple, you know that?"   
Both began to do a good impression of a _sick_ couple.   
"Good thing they lend skates out for free during weekdays. You two forgot yours."   
"How... foolish of us," Tarou agreed. "I was thinking of just relaxing a little..."   
"Don't be silly! Come out and skate. You _do_ know how to skate, don't you?"   
Both found themselves nodding, not wanting to sound like complete idiots. How hard could it be?   
"Then come on."   
Ranma and Tarou found themselves being led to the counter against their will and sized out for skates, and having to endure some more comments about what a cute couple they made.   
"Akane!"   
Akane smiled as some of her friends ran up. "Hi! Guess who I ran into?"   
"Tarou!" they exclaimed in delight.   
"Hello," he acknowledged, more concerned with his skates and how to use them. As it stood, he was completely unaware of the mental picture frames being placed around his face by the girls, complete with stars and hearts.   
"Would you skate with us?" they asked hopefully.   
Akane cut Tarou off before he could agree. _Anything_ to get away from Ranma's female form. Unfortunately, she had no way of knowing. "Girls, you shouldn't be so rude. Tarou's here with his girlfriend."   
"_Girlfriend!_"   
"I'm going to be _ill_," Ranma muttered in disgust.   
"Shut up!" Tarou muttered in return. "Think up an excuse to get away to the bathroom and use some hot water and turn back to normal."   
Meanwhile, Ranma was getting some _very_ hostile looks from the schoolgirls, who apparently were not pleased that Tarou was already spoken for. But they held their tongues for the time being, not wanting to make a scene.   
"Oh, well, okay," one of them agreed reluctantly.   
"Uh... I just have to go to the bathroom," Ranma spoke up quietly.   
"No problem," Tarou agreed. "Take your time."   
As Ranma awkwardly clomped over to the bathroom on her skates, Tarou sighed in relief.   
"Hey," one of Akane's friends noted. "Isn't that the... men's bathroom she's headed into?" 

*************** 

In the end, Tarou found himself dragged on the ice by three girls, who insisted that Jasmine could join them as soon as she was done. In one sense, it was a good thing, because with three girls glomping onto him, he couldn't have fallen if he'd _wanted_ to. And he had a hunch he might have fallen once or twice. Luckily for him, he learned quickly. The idea of skating wasn't too much different than the style he used for moving around in combat. A flowing, graceful, effortless tone to the motions. Any uncomfortableness, he covered over by explaining how little opportunity he'd gotten in China.   
The lying was easy for him, even if he wasn't directly aware of the reasons for such. After all, the three girls, Akane possibly included, probably would have believed him if he'd claimed the world was flat. As it was he had his mind full just ensuring that no one got wind of Ranma's Jusenkyou curse.   
It was frustrating, all this mess. All he wanted was one lousy location, and here he was, playing the part of a school disciplinary teacher and a match-maker. To make matters worse, one Tendou-sister by the name of Nabiki, he had already ruled out as a possible match for Ranma. Kasumi was getting more and more doubtful by the day, he decided. He was now trying to think up a good way to breach the subject.   
'Say lovely weather we're having, Mr. Tendou. Your oldest daughter certainly is a good cook. Is she on happy drugs by any chance?'   
No, he would have to be more subtle. Regardless, he was becoming more and more convinced that Akane was his only hope. If something arrived to foul up the Ranma-Akane match-up, he'd have to resort to desperate measures. His one consolation was that he _could_ do it. He doubted any of the Tendous or Saotomes were the equal of his human form in combat, and he always had his cursed form to fall back upon. Some harsh interrogation might produce results, for all their claims otherwise. He would have to keep that option in mind...   
"THOMAS!!!"   
He groaned as the shriek cut through his devious thoughts. It was that Azusa freak again, he could tell. And where she was, there would probably be the bigger freak, namely Mikado.   
"HEY!!!" Ranma's voice yelled. "Give that back..."   
Tarou knew there was trouble when Ranma stopped shouting and bolted for the bathroom again. He cursed, starting towards the psychotic girl again. This time, he'd shut up permanently!   
"Alright _YOU_!!!" he growled, lunging for her.   
Unfortunately, the element had changed, and they were on ice. Azusa easily slid away from Tarou's attempt, sticking her tongue out at him in disdain. Tarou barely kept his balance, coming around in a careful circle to try again. She had the advantage now, and both sides knew it. Tarou briefly wondered if he should try cracking the ice. He would have, except that he wasn't certain he would be able to crack it effectively enough outside of using his cursed form. First, he would try the voice of reason.   
"Listen here, you miserable little-"   
"Is Azusa's!!! Come and take it! If you _can_!!!"   
"Go get her Tarou!!!" various school girls were cheering from the sidelines.   
With growl, Ranma appeared from the side, now in his female form, lunging for Azusa. It was rather pathetic, really. Ranma obviously hadn't learned to skate yet, since she drifted past the bemused Azusa and crashed into the wall.   
"What's Jasmine doing?" Akane asked.   
"I don't know. Maybe she's helping her boyfriend out?"   
Tarou gritted his teeth. After this was over, he was going to publically pound the crap out of 'Jasmine' just to clear up any misunderstandings that had developed. In fact, he might just...   
A kick to the ribs knocked him clear off his feet as he crashed to the ground, already struggling to his feet. He berated himself harshly. He'd gotten careless. Now who had...   
He looked up to face a certain Mikado Sanzenin, who looked mad enough to eat a hornet's nest. A faint bruise was surrounding his left eye. "You... you... ruined my FACE!!!"   
"It's an improvement, trust me, pretty boy," Tarou assured him, getting into the best combat stance he could while on ice skates.   
"Such a crime will NOT go unpunished. How many ladies will weep to hear that the beautiful Mikado Sanzenin has been disfigured such-"   
"Why are you asking me? Don't you have enough _thumbs_ to count them?"   
"It talks back. Well, allow me to demonstrate one of my deadliest techniques ever..."   
"GIVE THAT BACK YOU LITTLE BRAT!!!"   
Tarou groaned as both he and Mikado stopped to watch the scenario surrounding Ranma and Azusa. Ranma was looking a little worn out from constantly running into walls. Apparently he still hadn't learned to stop yet. Azusa was simply laughing and   
holding the Dragon's Whisker just out of reach.   
"Hey, Tarou, maybe you should help your girlfriend," Akane called out.   
Tarou made a face, while Mikado suddenly perked up. "Girlfriend?" he asked in interest. "Well, I think it is about time I added another point to my tally..."   
At this time, Ranma had somehow managed to miss Azusa _again_ and was now sliding down the length of the rink. It was at this point that Mikado gracefully swooped around and caught her. "Why, whatever is your name?" he asked quietly.   
"Uh... Jasmine," Ranma replied, mindful enough to give his assumed name.   
"What a gorgeous name. But you can rest now. I, Mikado Sanzenin have saved you."   
"Put me down."   
"Of course. But first..."   
The entire gallery gasped as Mikado leaned over to plant a kiss on 'Jasmine's' lips. At the last moment, Ranma kneed him in the stomach (It was possible she had been aiming somewhere else, but that's another story), making him briefly forget about the kiss. Ranma fell away from him, skating out of control until she hit a wall.   
She staggered to her feet. "YOU PERVERT!!!"   
Mikado looked apologetic. "I am truly sorry. My less-than-flawless face is no doubt to blame for your revulsion.   
"Listen here," Tarou growled, interrupting any retorts from Ranma. "All I want is that little string your partner has. Give it back and I'm happy."   
"Nonsense. We shall duel properly for it or you will never get it back. What do you say to a _proper_ match, you ruffian? Two weeks from now?"   
Tarou thought the situation over quickly. If he refused, he would have to fight now. He had no immediately available source of cold water, and he would lose while on ice skates. But a week from now, things would be much different. He could bring a water bottle with him, teach Ranma and himself to skate, and possibly arrange for a few dirty tricks...   
On the minus side, 'Ranma' would be gone for two weeks and 'Jasmine' would be present at all times. This was going to be annoying...   
"I don't have two weeks," he replied. "_One_ week from now."   
Mikado looked nervous suddenly.   
Tarou grasped at a straw. "Afraid your _face_ isn't going to heal by then, pretty boy?"   
"One week!" Mikado snapped, revealing Tarou's guess to be correct. "And then I'll deliver the punishment you deserve. And I'll also be certain steal a kiss from your girlfriend's lips..."   
Ranma made a squalling sound upon hearing that. "I'll pound your miserable head into the ground, you pervert! Just you WAIT!!!"   
Tarou chuckled evilly. "You'll be in for the shock of your life, pretty-boy!" 

*************** 

"Why'd you agree to that!!!" Ranma demanded after they'd gotten away from everyone else. "Now I've gotta be a girl for a whole week!"   
Tarou collared Ranma, lifting her up to face-level. "You gotta better idea, Fem-boy? We wouldn't have had a chance back then. Those two are professional skaters, and you can't skate worth anything, remember? Be glad I shortened the match-time to one week so I wouldn't have to listen to your whining! Now we've got some serious practice and planning to do before then, or you can kiss that little Dragon's Whisker goodbye!!!"   
Ranma plainly didn't look too happy with the idea of being a girl for a whole week straight, but was sane enough to realize that he had no choice in the matter. "Why are you helpin' me, anyway? What's your angle on this?"   
"None of your business. I'm going to get a kick out of pounding that pretty boy's face into the ice, that's all. Or do you feel like going up against him alone and getting _kissed_?"   
Ranma shuddered. He would take what he could get, he decided. Things were going wrong every chance they could, these days. 


	6. Of Spatulas and Pantyhose

Tarou 1/2   
By Intrasonic 

Chapter 5: Of Spatulas and Pantyhose 

Lunchtime in the cafeteria, at the girl's table.   
"I wonder where Ranma is? He disappeared yesterday all of a sudden, and no one's seen him since. What about you, Akane?"   
Akane shrugged. "Some training trip all of a sudden. He left a note apologizing, saying that he'd be gone for a week."   
"Too bad. You know, between him and Tarou, I can't decide which one's cuter."   
"Tarou. I _looove_ those earrings..."   
"Ranma. That pigtail is _soooo_ sexy!"   
"Tarou. He's more mature. He's so polite and formal."   
"That's because Japanese is his second language. I'll bet he talks worse than Ranma in Chinese. Ranma's always casual about everything."   
"Yes, but he's immature. Did you see how angry he got when Kunou called him a girl? And how macho he always acts? That's a sign of insecurity, I'll bet. Now Tarou, _he's_ secure. I mean, he even has the guts to wear that pantyhose sash."   
"What's with that thing, anyway?"   
"I'll bet it's a custom. He's probably a real ladies man back home. _I_ can believe it."   
"What about you, Akane? What's it like having them both living with you? Which one do you like better?"   
Akane looked thoughtful. "I don't know... they're both pretty nice. They don't chase me like all the other perverted guys do. I don't know anything about Tarou. A little mystery is nice, but he's _all_ mystery. And he's a good fighter. He makes even Ranma look bad."   
That got an appreciative noise around the table. Ranma beating up Kunou was a daily thing now, but the fact remained that Kunou had once been the best fighter in all of Furinken High.   
"I don't think even Nabiki's been able to learn anything about him."   
"Boy, she must be ticked at that! This'll be a first. Tarou's even trickier than she is! I wonder what she thinks about that?" 

*************** 

At this particular time, Nabiki sneezed. She looked around curiously, then resumed doing her homework. Not schoolwork-homework, of course. This paragraph would be pointless if that was the case. But this homework, if you couldn't tell from the last paragraph, was directly related to Tarou. Specifically, it was devoted to finding out more about him.   
She scratched her head, her brows furrowing. 

-Wears pantyhose around waist.   
-Also wears thermos at waist, although never uses it.   
-Uses Cotton Fist style of fighting.   
-Very good fighter.   
-From China   
-Tarou is possibly an assumed name.   
-Mystery girlfriend named Jasmine. 

Next nothing on his background, in other words. She had been the first person to pick up that both Tarou and Ranma had become objects of admiration for the female half of the school. The fact that they were both willing and able to shut up Kunou's poetry binges had granted them a reluctant acceptance by the male half. Ranma was an open book, but the book was rather thin anyway, because ten years of it involved wandering around China and training. How much could that involve?   
Tarou's was possibly quite similar. If he was better than Ranma, that suggested _extremely_ intense training. She had picked up that even Ranma was curious about his training. And he had come all the way to Japan for something. Regrettably, she hadn't been privy to that conversation involving Tarou and the two fathers. But at some point, both fathers had been terribly spooked, although it seemed that Tarou hadn't directly done anything to them. They had seemingly come to an agreement and Tarou was now boarding for a reasonable fee at the Tendou Dojo. It made sense. He was here to learn about the Anything-Goes style of martial arts, which would explain why he'd hunted down Genma for so long. He seemed like a persistent sort of person.   
He also seemed like a dangerous sort of person. That wasn't especially new. Any martial artist could be dangerous. Kunou was actually a very good swordsman. Akane could effortlessly shatter bricks with his fists. Ranma was no doubt capable of all that and more. But when it came down to it, a weapon is only as good as the person holding it, and where a martial artist is concerned, the body is the weapon, and the brain is the holder. No slight to her younger sister, but Akane lacked the sheer inventiveness, the cunning, the ability to instantly evaluate things. Ranma had it to a degree where combat was concerned. Kunou was a moron who got D's across the board except for an A++ in Literature.   
Tarou was another story. She'd already seen him go through a sizable pile of textbooks. The fact that they were Japanese textbooks was also impressive. But she'd caught him observing homework being done by Ranma and Akane. And he'd been almost as good at the math than they were. And he'd actually gotten Kunou to call off the business of defeating Akane. Granted, Kunou was in no state of mind to argue after being tied up inside the school bell for a day. But that just went to demonstrate Tarou's capabilities. Ranma would have simply pounded Kunou and accomplished nothing. But Tarou had gotten results, which said something in itself. And he`d quieted the school down in a matter of days.   
The way he faced down anyone, never provoking the attack, yet always willing to accept a challenge with a grim confidence. The scene at the ice rink only proved her point. Despite having no idea about the `Jasmine` individual or why the dispute seemed to revolve around a hair string, Nabiki had still gotten the gist of the fight. Tarou had understood he was outmatched on the ice right then. And he planned to use the week to change the odds in his favor. Mikado Sanzenin's delaying the match had quite possibly cost him the match.   
Nabiki got up with a smile. She was no closer to finding out who Tarou really was. But she had a small edge on him. She would talk to him tonight. 

***************** 

Nabiki took a deep breath and knocked.   
"Come in."   
Pushing the door open, she entered into Tarou's sparse quarters. He clearly hadn't brought much with him, nor purchased much to date. She might have mistaken him for a monk if she hadn't already been on the receiving end of his glares. The dragon-scaled clothing somewhat ruined that image also.   
"Nabiki," Tarou acknowledged, a faint smile appearing on his face.   
She mimicked the smile. "Tarou. I heard about what happened at the ice rink yesterday."   
He frowned. "I'm disappointed in you, Nabiki. Everyone else found out yesterday."   
She refused to take the bait. "Regardless, it seems you and your girlfriend have a match with the legendary Golden Pair in less than a week." She saw Tarou flinch at the mention of the word 'girlfriend'. Interesting.   
"We do," he confirmed, refusing to advance the conversation.   
"I would also say that at first glance, you don't seem to have a prayer at succeeding."   
"Please, feel free to bet against me," he invited with a sneer.   
"A lot can happen in a week, I'm sure you'll agree. I think you plan on doing some training?"   
"Only a fool would go into a fight unprepared."   
"But you know as well as I do that you and 'Jasmine' will never become better skaters than them. You'll have to make up for it in another way."   
"I suppose you're right. You didn't waste your time to tell me _that_, did you?"   
"No. I was wondering if you'd be interested in a mutual exchange of information."   
"Information."   
Nabiki could see the glimmer in his eyes. She hadn't been one bit wrong. Tarou wasn't an idiot in the least. He might be a superb fighter, but he obviously understood the value of information even more. "Yes, information. I was thinking that you were in need of some accurate, reliable information on the Golden Pair. And I happen to have access to it faster, and in greater volume than anyone else you'll find this side of Nerima."   
"How can I refuse? So what information did you want from _me_?"   
She beamed at him. "Why, I'll even give you a choice. You can either tell me about your girlfriend, Jasmine, or you can explain to me why you're _really_ here in Nerima. And don't feed me the line about wanting to learn the Anything-Goes style of martial arts, either."   
Tarou smirked. "Haven't you ever heard that curiosity killed the cat, Nabiki? I'm terribly sorry, but no deal on either of those."   
Interesting. Nabiki had expected information on Jasmine from this deal. But she wasn't getting either of the two. This wasn't good at all. "You must be more confident that I thought," she replied, trying to decide how to level the playing field again.   
"Obviously," he agreed. "Nabiki, I'll win this match no matter what happens. I'm simply trying to make it easier for myself. Offer denied."   
Was he telling the truth? Nabiki was a good judge of people, and Tarou seemed to be quite in earnest. He had more secrets than she'd originally thought, obviously. This would go nowhere at the moment. She would have to pump Jasmine for information. As soon as she was able to find her, that was. 

************* 

"Alright. Tell me about this Ryouga Hibiki guy."   
Ranma shrugged. "He's a buddy of mine from junior high. Lousy temper, but he's a pretty good martial artist. We used to spar every day at lunch. He has the world's worst sense of direction. Takes five minutes to find a door in a room with no windows."   
"Oh really?" Tarou had a hard time believing that.   
"Really."   
Interesting. "So what about this Ukyou Kounji guy?"   
"Me and Pop met him and his father on the road. We stayed with them for a bit. We'd spar every day for okonomiyaki."   
"Well, I wouldn't mind knowing why they hate you."   
"Probably just a misunderstanding. I wonder where Ukyou is? Ryouga's probably in Africa for all I know, but Ukyou shoulda been able to find me by now."   
"Ukyou's never seen your cursed form, has she?"   
"Oh yeah. I'll have to go find her then."   
"Screw it! We've got to practice. Unless you don't want that hair ribbon back? First thing's first."   
"Geez, okay. Why are you so set for this match?"   
"That's none of your business. You just worry about learning to stand up on the ice." 

Despite all insults, an hour of hard practice and both had improved. That was all relative, of course. Tarou could now skate moderately well. Ranma could stand up moderately well.   
"This sucks!" was Ranma's opinion. "I can't do any of my better techniques on ice!"   
"You can't do _any_ techniques, fem-boy," Tarou snapped. "We'll clearly need a few wild cards."   
"Wild cards?"   
"Yes. We can't outskate them. But I'm willing to bet we're both tougher than them. We hit them, they'll feel it. We just gotta slow them down. See if you can crack the ice."   
"Not in this form. Not strong enough. Can't you?"   
Not in this form. "Not strong enough," Tarou agreed. "So much for that idea. Do you know how to use any weapons?"   
"Well... I can use lots, but I'm not really trained in them."   
"Okay, screw that. Any special techniques?"   
"Some, but I can't do them on the ice. I need a solid footing."   
"We're stuck with the ice. Work with it." 

***************** 

-Wears pantyhose around waist.   
-Also wears a thermos at waist, although never uses it.   
-Uses Cotton Fist style of fighting.   
-Very good fighter.   
-From China   
-Tarou is possibly assumed name.   
-Mystery girlfriend named Jasmine.   
-Jasmine apparently has a father around (?)   
-Jasmine knows Ryouga Hibiki from junior high school. RH hates Jasmine too? (?)   
-Jasmine knows Ukyou Kounji. UK hates Jasmine too? (?)   
-Hair ribbon belongs to Jasmine   
-Jasmine also a martial artist.   
-Jasmine apparently has 'another form' that is possibly stronger (?)   
-Neither knew how to skate until recently. 

Nabiki looked at her now enlarged list doubtfully. More questions. And no answers. Several hours of trailing the two had given her nothing but more questions, some which seemed to make no sense at all. Such as this hair ribbon that was up for contest. What if... perhaps she should take a more active part in this.   
She would also have to investigate Jasmine. She was a mystery. Tarou's girlfriend, perhaps. She supposed she could understand his choice. Jasmine had a body most girls could only dream of having. The somewhat obvious fact that she wore no bra was the source of no small amount of speculation about her relationship with Tarou. An _interesting_ girl, to say the least.   
But somehow, Nabiki didn't think they were a couple. Why? Because they didn't show any signs of affection towards each other. She wondered how everyone else could have missed that fact. Both were willing, no, _happy_ to dismiss the other for the slightest reason. Even now, they were approaching the fight with the air of two martial artists. They plainly cared nothing about each other beyond the fact of their partnership in the upcoming duel.   
Another question to add to her list. And she couldn't get any information about anything because Tarou was so confident he'd win regardless of how well prepared they were. He simply wanted to make it easier for himself. He was clearly not above using a few _dirty tricks_ in this match, she figured. Some of those dirty tricks might involve a few dirty secrets...   
She smiled and quietly left the scene of the skaters. She would just have to stack the match a little herself and bring a few of those secrets out. 

***************** 

"We've got this match locked."   
"Don't be so cocky, fem-boy. We don't know what those two are capable of."   
Ranma scoffed. "The day a couple of skaters can take down Ra-"   
"Jasmine," Tarou hissed, slapping his hand over Ranma's mouth.   
"Right, right. Why couldn't you have thought up a better name? Like Ranko or something simple like that?"   
"Deal with it, fem-boy."   
"Alright you jackass! Time to pay!"   
Both leapt backwards as a giant spatula smashed down where they had just been, cracking the pavement for good measure.   
"Ukyou!" Ranma blurted out happily.   
"Shut up!" Tarou hissed, already in a combat stance. "He doesn't know you!"   
Ranma didn't look very happy with that, but held her tongue for once.   
"What's your problem?" Tarou demanded.   
Ukyou looked mad enough to tear both their heads off for breakfast. "You... gave... me... wrong directions!"   
Tarou smirked. "_Oops_. How careless of me."   
"Do you have idea what it's like to be kidnapped by an all-GIRL'S school! Especially when you're-" Ukyou cut himself off. "Now you're going to pay for that! Tell me where Ranma is or ELSE!!!"   
Tarou didn't really feel like fighting at the moment. Besides, Ukyou was an unknown. One lucky hit could become a big problem five days from now at the match. "Look. Ranma's gone for five more days. I've got a skating match in five days. He'll be back right after that match, alright? Then you can do whatever you want to him, alright?"   
Ukyou didn't look very enthusiastic. "I'd much rather hear the whole story right now. And I'm quite happy to beat the tar out of you to do it."   
Tarou's expression suggested that he was distinctly underwhelmed. Inwardly, he was somewhat curious as to what kind of a challenge this Ukyou would pose. There was more to this than appeared at first glance. Not that he didn't think he could take down an idiot martial artist who used a spatula as a weapon. But there _had_ to be an element of unpredictability in his style. And he had Ranma to worry about, who would probably object to anything violent against a childhood friend.   
"Jasmine, why don't you get on home?" he suggested. "Ukyou and I have a few things to work out. Since it doesn't concern you, _Jasmine_, you don't need to waste your time here."   
Ranma obviously caught the implications. She simply didn't want to listen. "Now wait a minute here, Tarou-"   
Stupid idiot. "No, you listen here, Jasmine. Not your business, not your fight. I _promise_ I will try to resolve this without violence, okay? And if it comes to a fight, I'll go easy on him, alright?"   
Ranma still didn't look very enthusiastic.   
Tarou leaned closer. "Listen here, Fem-boy. I'll grind you into the dirt too, if you don't get moving. I gave my word, didn't I? You keep this up, and someone's going to find out who you really are. He's not going to listen until he realizes that he can't win by fighting. As soon as he figures that out, I'll talk some sense into him and get him to wait until you get your Dragon's Whisker back, okay? Then you can deal with him yourself?"   
Ranma gritted her teeth. "Swear you won't do anything serious?"   
"I swear it." Of course, one's definition of serious could vary, Tarou knew inwardly.   
"Fine. I'll meet you back at the Dojo."   
"Sounds good, Jasmine," Tarou agreed with a smirk, turning to face Ukyou.   
"Getting your girlfriend out of the way?" Ukyou asked with a grin. "I woulda figured a guy who wears pantyhose on his waist to have a _boy_ friend!"   
Tarou laughed at that. She didn't realize who she was calling a girlfriend. He sobered up. "I'm busy, spatula-brat. I gave you my terms. Piss off until I'm done the skating match, and Ranma's all yours."   
"Forget it!" he snarled. "You delayed me once already. I'm not going to be delayed a second time by the likes of a pantyhose-wearing pervert like you!"   
"I'm warning you..." Tarou growled, his temper beginning to slip. He could take any insult except _that_...   
"Come on, Pantyhose-boy," Ukyou offered, now wielding his spatula in a combat ready position. "No sense in wasting time."   
Screw his promise. Ukyou was going to be a world of pain. "I'll rip your HEAD off!" Tarou growling, launching himself forwards.   
Ukyou laughed, slipping sideways, his spatula spinning rapidly in one hand as he let off some rapid jabs in Tarou's direction.   
Tarou danced around the punches, his senses beginning to focus. Playing defensively would be a smart move. This style was different from any that he'd seen, but he was certain he could analyze it and overcome it. He could already tell that he was faster than this spatula-wielding pretty-boy...   
"What's the matter?" Ukyou taunted. "Scared, _Pantyhose-boy_?"   
On second thought, screw defence.   
Tarou lunged forwards like a lightning bolt. "Time for payback, Spatula-boy!"   
"Boy? Why you little-"   
Tarou's first few punches bounced off the flat of the spatula with resounding clangs, but a quick switch from power to speed, quickly saw punches slipping through Ukyou's defense and hitting him, if not very hard.   
Ukyou jumped backwards, grabbing a handful of mini-spatula's from a bandolier on his chest, hurling them towards Tarou. He dove sideways as they plunged into the pavement, already approaching again. His style was already emerging. Slow, powerful, long-ranged and unpredictable. Unfortunately, it wasn't much good when the opponent was inside swinging range.   
"No more games, wimp!" he snarled, bursting into a full-fledged sprint towards her.   
Ukyou swung mightily, his spatula coming overhead in an arc that was sure to decapitate anything short of an elephant. At the last moment Tarou grabbed the weapon with his left hand and swung himself around it, driving the knuckles of his right hand into Ukyou's side as hard as he could.   
Ukyou let out a cry of pain and dropped the spatula, trying to back off. But Tarou was on the offensive now, letting off salvos of punches that impacted where ever he wasn't blocking. Slowly but surely, Ukyou began to back off faster, pain beginning to register on his face.   
Tarou chuckled evilly. There was a pile of trash at the entrance of a nearby alleyway. How appropriate. With a grunt, he ducked down and put all his weight behind an uppercut that knocked him right off his feet and back into the pile of garbage. A drainage pipe was broken from the impact, briefly adding insult to injury as it sloshed its contents over Ukyou's head.   
Ukyou groaned, trying to regain his senses after being slammed into the wall and dunked in water. It took long enough for Tarou to grab him by the collar and hoist him off his feet, pinning him against the wall.   
"Had enough?" he snarled. "I was almost worried for a moment there. But if you try anything again, you won't even have a chance. I know your style, and I'm a damn sight better than you are, Spatula-boy. I was going to just ignore you as long as you kept out of my face, but you weren't smart enough to listen to me, were you? Too bad for you, Pretty-"   
Without warning, Ukyou's uniform was no longer able to support his weight and completely ripped apart in Tarou's hand.   
Tarou looked at Ukyou's now sitting form and smirked. "-girl," he finished, observing the now visible breasts. "You know, I think I understand a few things now."   
Taking his thermos from his belt, he opened up one end and splashed scalding hot water over Ukyou's head.   
"What the HELL are you doing?" she yelled in pain.   
"Alright, I _don't_ understand what's going on," he replied with a sigh. He had thought that perhaps Ukyou had run into Jusenkyou. That might be a reason to track down Ranma. But no, Jusenkyou hadn't occurred.   
"Does the sight of cleavage make you _insane_?" Ukyou demanded, on her feet again.   
"Forget it," he growled, clipping his thermos onto his waist again. "Just remember, don't bother me again!"   
"Wait!"   
He turned curiously.   
Ukyou was looking rather embarrassed. "Listen, could you... not tell anyone that I'm a..."   
"That's you're a girl?" he filled in.   
"Well, yeah."   
"You insult me, you fight me, and now you're asking me for a _favour_?"   
Ukyou looked away. "Well..."   
"Give me _one_ reason to keep silent," Tarou demanded disgustedly.   
Ukyou remained silent.   
Tarou smiled. On second thought, this might prove useful after all. "I have an idea, actually. One that you're a perfect position to do for me."   
Ukyou flushed red. "If you think for a moment, that I'm going to do anything like _that_ you pervert-"   
He rolled his eyes. People around here were so prone to misinterpretation. It was a wonder this section of Tokyo was even in one piece. "I WASN'T TALKING ABOUT THAT, YOU DITZ!!!"   
"What did you call me?!" she demanded.   
"You've got ears! You heard me," he replied. "And you're in no position to be arguing," he added. "Now what I was _going_ to ask you was two completely _different_ things. Firstly, you will not get in my way for the rest of this week, is that understood?"   
A reluctant nod.   
"Good. Now as for the second reason, you will tell me exactly WHY you're trying to beat up Ranma Saotome? I want the complete story, understand?"   
"This is a long story."   
"I have some time on my hands. Put some clothes on, because I don't feel like waiting here in the middle of a garbage heap."   
"You ruined my clothes," she pointed out sourly.   
Tarou glanced skywards. No sign of rain. He tossed her his cloak. "You can use this for now."   
Ukyou took the cloak and wrapped it around herself.   
"Come on," Tarou ordered, leading her out of the alleyway. 

************** 

Kasumi turned at the sound of footsteps entering the kitchen. Perhaps Akane was looking to try cooking again? "Is that you-oh my."   
"Hi Kasumi," Ranma greeted her.   
"Who are you?"   
Ranma stopped in midstep. Oops. She was a girl right now. "Uh, my name's Jasmine. I'm..." Gods, he was going to hate himself for this. "I'm Tarou's friend. He wanted to meet me here pretty soon."   
"I didn't know he had a girlfriend. How nice."   
"Uh... no, I'm not his girl-"   
"Would you like a cookie?"   
"Thanks," Ranma replied, eagerly accepting a cookie and forgetting his protests for a moment.   
"You can wait for Tarou up in his room if you want."   
"Okay, I'll do that," Ranma agreed, deciding that he'd better make a quick retreat.   
"Oh, you're a mess. You can't see your boyfriend looking like that," Kasumi insisted. "I'll let you borrow some of my clothes. Come on. The men can wait a little for supper."   
"No really, that's okay..."   
"Nonsense," Kasumi insisted, smiling in such a way that Ranma couldn't _possibly_ refuse her. "We'll get you looking more ladylike in no time at all!"   
Ladylike? "H-help!"   
Unfortunately, his replies were for naught as he found himself dragged up to Kasumi's room for a session in looking more ladylike. 

************* 

"And then Genma took off the next day with the yattai, and Ranma was riding on it and waving goodbye!!!"   
Tarou gestured for Ukyou to calm down. Eight years later, it was obviously still a sore subject for her. He had taken her to a park, which was presently deserted in the evening. Best of all, no one would be able to get close enough to overhear the conversation. "I guess that's pretty low," he agreed. "I've heard a lot of that while trying to find Genma."   
"Figures," Ukyou muttered.   
"So I guess I can understand why you're trying to turn them into a smear on the pavement. But what's with looking like a guy?"   
Ukyou flushed. "Do you have any idea how humiliated I was when that happened? I was laughed at for weeks afterwards by everyone. For months! I had been left behind by my fiancee, and I didn't even have a dowry to get myself another husband."   
"Lousy," Tarou agreed. "The part about looking like a guy?"   
"What else could I do?" she demanded angrily. "I threw aside my womanhood for all time! I trained by the raging sea in the art of Okonomiyaki Fighting! I devoted my entire life to revenge!"   
"I see." Pretty extreme, Tarou thought. But understandable in an obsessive sort of way. "I hate to break this to you, but I don't think you're going to get revenge on Ranma."   
"Why not?"   
"Because I saw how you fight before. I've also fought him. You're good, but he's better than you. His entire fighting style is devoted to adapting to unusual circumstances. He'll adapt to your spatula style even faster than I did. I found your weak spots, but he'll just accommodate your style and beat you anyway." A pity he wasn't adapting to ice-skating very quickly.   
"It doesn't matter. I have to try," she insisted.   
Tarou sighed. He needed to deal with this now. He didn't want Akane to think Ranma was some kind of thief. He needed to shift the blame away from Ranma somehow...   
"Are you sure it was both Genma and Ranma?" he asked, having an idea.   
"Well, they both took the yattai."   
"I've never heard of Ranma doing anything like that, even though his father's bad enough. He might not have understood what was going on. He's dumb enough to, I'd say. You might only have to pound his father to avenge your honor."   
"You think so?" Ukyou seemed to like that prospect somewhat.   
"I'd suggest you beat up his father first," Tarou advised. "Could save you a lot of trouble in the long run, right?"   
"I'll _think_ about it," she agreed, although she seemed to like the idea.   
"Good," Tarou agreed, standing up. This little encounter had paid off. He no longer had Ukyou to worry about, and would be able to console Ranma enough to get him focused on the upcoming ice skating match. "Just remember. Don't interfere with me for the rest of the week, understand?"   
"Right. And then after that, you don't interfere with my revenge."   
"Sure, whatever," he agreed, beginning to walk away.   
Thunder rumbled overhead. Tarou cursed. It _would_ start to rain now. "Give me my cloak back," he ordered sharply.   
Ukyou blinked. "What?"   
"Give me the cloak!" Tarou ordered, seeing drops begin to dot the bench.   
"Like hell! I'll return it later on. If you think I'm walking around topless-"   
"Give me the damn cloak!!!" Tarou repeated frantically, trying to grab it from her. Ukyou pulled back just as frantically.   
All at once, the skies exploded, dumping a torrent of rain on them. Ukyou suddenly found herself dangling from the cloak, the other end held by a twenty-foot tall minotaur.   
The minotaur glanced skyward, as though accusing nature of something.   
"Wha..."   
With a lurch, the beast's wings began to flap, their comparatively small size ignored as Ukyou found the ground beginning to move away from her. She didn't understand what was happening, but the fact that a huge monster was carrying her away like this...   
"HELP!!!" 

*************** 

Ukyou didn't know how long they flew for, but she was able to discern that she had traveled a long distance by air. Five or ten minutes, she guessed. But even at the great height they were at, she could tell that they were moving at a fast pace. It would take her a few hours to walk the same distance.   
Part of her wondered how she could be thinking so rationally, but after the initial shock, her martial arts focus had returned in part. Whatever this beast was, it hadn't actually hurt her. The fact that it had appeared in place of Tarou was still a mystery, but she figured they were somehow connected. She would simply have to wait and see what happened.   
Eventually, the beast came in for a landing. Ukyou could make out the coast from the height she was at, and knew that they had traveled a fair distance by air. Looking straight ahead again, she instinctively ducked as the entrance to the cave rush at her, although she later chided herself for even worrying, when obviously the beast would hit the top before she ever did.   
A gentle bump signified that the beast had touched down again. Nevertheless, the giant fist with her in the middle did not ease up at all. It was dark, but twisting around, she could see two large glowing orbs that made up the creature's glowing eyes. She had a hunch it could see better in the dark than she could, which was a point working against her at the moment.   
She could feel herself being set down on the ground. She was held firm for a moment, several grunts emerging from the creature. She wasn't sure if it was trying to say something, but she had a hunch she was NOT supposed to try and run. The glowing eyes between her and the cave entrance also helped discourage that thought.   
Several seconds later, a splash of water was heard, followed by an evil sounding chuckle. "It seems we have another issue to discuss, Spatula-girl."   
Tarou. She narrowed her eyes. "What the _hell_ is going on?"   
"Come on out to the light," he suggested amiably.   
Ukyou obeyed, privately thankful she hadn't lost the cloak on the way over. After her eyes had gotten used to the light, she looked at Tarou. He didn't _seem_ any different. Same clothing. His water bottle was open at one end, obviously empty.   
"Alright, explain," she demanded. "I don't know what the heck that creature was, but I want answers!"   
"Simple. That creature," Tarou replied casually, "is a cross between a yeti, a bull, a crane, and an eel."   
_Rrrrright_. "Uh huh. And exactly how did _this_ mating accident happen?"   
Tarou laughed. "Jusenkyou. The Pools of Sorrow."   
"Never heard of it."   
"It's a training ground deep in China," Tarou replied. "It's made up of hundreds of pools, each one with its own tragic story behind it. Each story involves some animal or person that drowned there thousands of years ago. Now, whoever falls in the springs is cursed to take on the form of whatever drowned there."   
Ukyou thought for a moment. She wasn't stupid by a long shot. As unbelievable as his explanation was, she had seen that beast and been kidnapped by it. "So, you fell in one of those springs?"   
"Spring of Drowned Yeti Riding a Bull Carrying a Crane Holding an Eel." he smirked as though enjoying a private joke. "Veeery twagic story, miss customer."   
"So... you can change into that monster?"   
"Not at will. The curses are activated by cold water. Hot water returns the person to their normal form again."   
This was beginning to make a little sense, Ukyou decided. "So... that's why you wanted your cloak back so badly when it started to rain."   
Tarou nodded. She wasn't completely stupid, he decided.   
"And... that's why you poured hot water on me?" she asked incredulously. "You thought that I..." she stared in disbelief. "You mean to tell me, there's a spring in this Jusenkyou place that turns whoever falls into it into a _girl_?"   
A nod. Not stupid at all. "It's there."   
"Holy crap. That's one dangerous place. What the heck were you doing there?"   
Tarou gritted his teeth. What had he been doing there _indeed_! "None of your business. All I want to say is... This stays a secret. Or else we go back to square one, got it?"   
Ukyou looked like she might consider pressing the point. After a few mental images of her sparring with that giant minotaur creature, she finally decided against it. "Alright, fine. I'm just a normal guy, and you're just a normal guy, right?"   
"Right."   
"So why are you protecting Ranma anyway?"   
"What makes you think I'm protecting him? He can take care of himself. I'm protecting my interests, and he's connected to them. That's all you need to know."   
"So..." Ukyou wasn't sure how to phrase her next question. "Is that beast form... as dangerous as it looks?"   
Tarou smirked. "Actually, it's even _stronger_ than it looks. I only use it for emergencies. Hard to talk to people in that form, you understand."   
"Right." In other words, she hadn't stood a chance against him before. Even if she _had_ proved to be a better fighter, he'd have dunked himself with cold water and pounded her head into the road with one punch. "So how do I know whether I'm   
_interfering_ with your interests?"   
"Don't worry about that. Just find a place to live until the end of the week. Go to school or whatever. I don't care. Whatever you do, just don't interfere with me. I've got more at stake than you do, whether you want to believe it or not."   
With that, he turned and left.   
"Can't you at least give me a ride back?" Ukyou asked disgustedly.   
"_I'm_ walking," he growled. "Thanks to you, I'm out of hot water to change back again. So don't whine to me, got it?"   
"Fine," she agreed, following him. It looked like they were both in for a long walk home.   
"Why are you so dead set on this skating match?" she asked after awhile.   
"None of your business."   
"I've watched you skate. You suck."   
"Go to hell."   
"If you want to keep that curse of yours a secret, you'll have to come up with a plan."   
"Then you'd better hope I do, because if I don't win that match, you'll never see Ranma. He's got a lot riding on this match."   
"What if I could help you?"   
Tarou eyed her suspiciously. "Help me?"   
"Right. I've got five days to burn. I don't understand why Ranma's 'gone', but I'll bet he's hiding or something, isn't that right?"   
"You could say that."   
"And winning this match will bring him out of hiding."   
"Perhaps."   
"So what do you say to another deal? I help you and that red-head win the match. And right afterwards, you show me Ranma Saotome and let me have my revenge."   
Tarou thought about it for a moment. It made sense. Was it really costing him much? Ukyou would find Ranma soon enough, once the fool had reverted to being a boy again. But this way, he could even determine the place and time of Ukyou's attempted revenge on Ranma.   
"How do I know you can even help me?"   
She gave him a flat look. "For starters, I can skate better than you or that red-head. That probably has something to do with the fact that I didn't learn to skate a few days ago like you obviously did."   
"And what if I did?"   
"You suck at skating and nothing short of that cursed form is going to make up for it."   
"So what makes you think you can change things around?"   
"That red-head, what's her name?"   
"Jasmine."   
"Jasmine looks like a decent martial artist."   
"She'd probably kick your ass on dry ground."   
"I'd kick hers on ice. But I could teach her a few things that would work on ice. I could teach you too. Nothing like a little edge, right?"   
"You sound _too_ helpful."   
"Maybe you're a paranoid jackass. I want Saotome, and I'll whatever I have to do to get him, got it? Maybe you just don't understand what it's like to want revenge on someone practically your entire life for something. Let ME tell YOU, it sucks. But after a while, you do whatever the heck you have to do to get it done with..."   
Tarou thought about it. Admittedly, he could relate with her better than she would have believed. But that didn't mean he was going to compromise his mission for hers.   
"...So accept it. If I have to help the likes of you out, I will. Are you in or not?"   
He nodded. "Alright, we have a deal. But one more thing. I'm staying at the Tendou Dojo. There's a girl named Nabiki Tendou. Can't fight, but she's a tricky girl. She doesn't hear ANY of this, understand? She'll probably pump you for information, try to bribe or blackmail you or do whatever it takes to make a profit out of this. She's already sore at me because she hasn't gotten anywhere doing the same to me."   
"I don't mind hitting girls," Ukyou replied evenly. "This is about my personal honour. If she gets in my way, she'll regret it."   
Tarou chuckled. "Ukyou, I think things will work out just fine between us." 


	7. Only Likes Girls

Tarou 1/2   
By Intrasonic 

Chapter 6: Only Likes Girls 

"Oh my. You look very nice now."   
'Jasmine' ground her teeth together in agony. "Y-yes. Very nice."   
"Tarou seems to be a little late," Kasumi continued blithely. "I didn't think we had the time, but why don't we try _this_ combination?"   
"I think that would look nice," Akane agreed cheerfully.   
Ranma couldn't believe this. His mind was awhirl with hideously painful tortures that he planned to inflict on Tarou when he arrived back home. If he had known such a dreadful evening was in store for him upon returning to the dojo, he would have steered well clear.   
_Something_ had hit the fan with a resounding *splat* right away. Kasumi had realized that not only did Jasmine not wear a bra, she also wore boxer shorts. That was simply _inexcusable_ for a young lady with a boyfriend. She might not realize how her 'boyfriend' was interpreting such things. She could be sending completely inappropriate messages.   
Ranma knew that there was absolutely no chance of Tarou looking at things that way, but could hardly prove such. So on went the sports bra and lady's underwear. Then came the greenskirt. Then came the white blouse. Then came the green vest. _Then_ came the green ribbon to tie her hair back. _Then_ came the high heels...   
"You really do look nice," Akane said in earnest, looking at the red-headed girl with more than touch of envy. What she _wouldn't_ have given to have such a figure herself! "I think Tarou's lucky to have a girlfriend like you, Jasmine. How long have you known each other?"   
Ranma's face burned red. "It's not what you think, really!"   
"What isn't?" Akane asked curiously.   
"Well, everybody thinks that we-"   
Akane's face lit up in understanding. She giggled. "Don't mind those rumors, Jasmine. I should have known you and Tarou were too responsible to do anything like _that_!"   
Ranma's face began to match her clothing.   
"But that just goes to show what I told you," Kasumi scolded good-naturedly. "I realize that life must be hard on the road for you, but there are certain articles of clothing that young girls should have. You can keep the undergarments, if you like."   
"N-no! That's okay!" Ranma protested vehemently.   
"Nonsense! Of course, you'll keep them," Kasumi insisted. "You're such a nice girl. So polite, just like Tarou."   
"You do martial arts?" Akane asked. Jasmine had been going to school for two days now, but she hadn't had a chance to meet the girl personally. She had been notoriously absent during lunch breaks, apparently training with Tarou for the upcoming skating match.   
"That's right," Ranma agreed.   
"Oh really?" Kasumi noted. "I wondered how you kept in such good shape. Why don't you and Akane spar a little?"   
Ranma hesitated briefly.   
Akane misinterpreted the hesitation. "Come on, Jasmine. I'll go easy on you, don't worry. I'm kind of tired today." It was lie, Akane knew, but she wanted to put the girl at ease. Her entire body seemed rigid right now. She must be the shy type around strangers.   
"That sounds like a good idea," Kasumi decided, her gentle tone of voice instantly subduing any further protests. "We'll get you out of those clothes, Jasmine. I'm sure Akane can lend you a gi."   
"N-no, that's okay. I'll just wear my normal clothes," Ranma insisted quickly. "More comfortable." 

************* 

Half an hour later, the two girls were sparring vigorously.   
Akane skipped backwards, panting heavily. "Wow. You're pretty good," she observed.   
Ranma wasn't sure what to say to that. The fight had seemed in Akane's favor at first, but that was while Ranma was getting over his humiliation at being dressed up as a girl. Then his relative inexperience at fighting as a girl had hampered him. But by now, he had generally gotten over both problems, and his superior skill was becoming quite evident. Nevertheless, there were only two reasons that he'd permitted himself to hit Akane in return. Firstly, playing the dodging game he did as a male might tip her off as to his real identity. Secondly, he wasn't as strong in his female form and didn't have to be as worried about hurting her.   
For her part, Akane was actually enjoying herself. This was way better than sparring with Ranma or Tarou. She knew those two were better than her, and the knowledge that they were severely holding back was always a damper on her enjoyment. But Jasmine didn't seem to be quite at their level, despite her obvious skill. Despite that, she could feel a few aches were Jasmine had hit her, and they were immensely satisfying. It had been so long since she'd had a genuine sparring match like this. She would have to see what she could do about having Jasmine over more often.   
"But I guess you and Tarou have sparred a lot, haven't you?" Akane guessed with a weak smile.   
Ranma nodded, happy for the explanation. "Tarou's... pretty good," she agreed.   
Akane slumped back against the wall. "Damn. Yeah, I guess he is. Seems _everybody's_ better than me around here."   
"Not true..." Ranma began hesitantly.   
Akane sighed. "You don't have to say anything, Jasmine. If this fight was serious, you'd have beaten me, right? Everybody around here is a better fighter than me."   
"Not everybody," Ranma began again. He'd never seen Akane like this. Maybe it was the fact that he was just another girl at the moment.   
"Everybody good," she insisted. "Ranma's better than me. Tarou's better than me. You're better than me. Even those two guys, Ryouga and Ukyou, who showed up are better than me. I could have done half of what they were doing against each other."   
Akane slid down until she was sitting on the floor, leaning back against the wall. "What am I doing wrong, Jasmine? Do you know?"   
Ranma hesitantly sat down beside her. He'd never seen this side of Akane before. He'd always tolerated fighting with her before. It gave him the opportunity to spar with Tarou as a reward, after all. "You really want to be a good fighter, don't you?" she asked quietly.   
Akane nodded. "I've trained all my life, really. Father taught me until I was about ten years old, then he couldn't stand hitting me anymore. So I've had to teach myself since then."   
"You've taught yourself since the age of ten?"   
She nodded. "No one else except the Saotome family practices the Anything-Goes style of fighting, and they've been in China for the past ten years. So I was pretty much alone for training."   
"You've... done pretty good for having no trainer," Ranma offered honestly.   
"Maybe. But I want to be better. I spar with Ranma whenever I can, but he never takes me seriously."   
Ranma swallowed. "I... I guess that must make you angry."   
"It's frustrating," Akane confessed. "I _know_ he's better than me. He's probably better than you too. But he never takes me seriously. Even when he _does_ hit me back, I can tell he's only doing it half heartedly. He just does it so that Tarou will fight him."   
Ranma swallowed again. "I see..."   
"I don't understand why he won't take me seriously," Akane continued. "He says that he doesn't like to hit girls and stuff like that. I don't understand him. Does he think I'm going to break if he hits me too hard or something? How can I can get better if no one takes me seriously?"   
"Maybe..."   
Ranma didn't know what to say to that. Akane probably would have killed herself before saying these things to his guy form, he knew. Probably before saying these things to _anyone_. But he was beginning to wonder if there might not be something else underneath that the hot-tempered girl he often had to face off.   
"I... could try talking to Ranma maybe," Ranma hesitantly suggested.   
Akane offered her a smile. "You're such a nice person, Jasmine. I don't mean to sound so depressing. It's okay. I'll keep practising. Maybe if I practice hard enough, I'll get good enough to make him take me seriously."   
"That's the spirit," Ranma agreed. He'd never realized Akane felt this strongly about martial arts. "A martial artist must never give up. Maybe Ranma... will come to his senses. I'll help you practice if you want."   
Akane brightened. "Really?"   
"S-sure. I could use a change from practicing with Tarou," Ranma replied honestly. Privately, he felt that Tarou was little harsh in the training, considering that he was just as bad a skater as Ranma was. Considering that he'd trained under a certain Genma Saotome all his life, that was saying _a lot_! "We can practice some more right now."   
Akane got to her feet quickly with a smile. "Sounds great!" 

************* 

It was near midnight that Tarou finally arrived back at the dojo. The first thing he did was head to the kitchen to refill his thermos with hot water. He always carried enough for two dousings, which was normally enough. If he hadn't wasted half of it on Ukyou when he'd thought she had a curse...   
No matter. After walking forever, he'd finally made it back to the dojo. Ukyou was apparently staying at an inn for the time being. Now to find Ranma and explain a few things.   
"Hello, Tarou," Nabiki greeted him. "You're a little late."   
"Couldn't be helped," he replied.   
"What is it with that thermos, anyway?" she asked curiously.   
"I'm in the habit of carrying provisions, that's all. I don't usually have the benefit of an overhead roof, you know."   
"I see," she agreed, plainly not believing a word of it. "I think your girlfriend is going to be a little mad at you. You kept her waiting for hours. Kasumi and Akane were nice enough to entertain her."   
"Oh?"   
"That's right. It was like pulling teeth, from what I saw."   
"Where is she?"   
"In your room. Akane offered to let her sleep in her room, but Jasmine said she wanted to wait for you. She looked a little peeved with you. Actually, she might rip your head off."   
"I'll deal with her," Tarou replied, his tone of voice indicating exactly how unconcerned he was over the prospect.   
Nabiki watched him go with a smile. Damn, but he was smooth. She hadn't thought someone like him could possibly exist. Top-notch martial artist with a brain. Who would have ever suspected? But she refused to be held off forever. No one, but no one, was capable of outsmarting her at her own games. She would prove it. 

************** 

The moment Tarou opened the doors, a grip of steel grabbed his collar and yanked him in with the force of an industrial winch.   
"You son of a BITCH!!!" Ranma swore vehemently. "Where the hell were you?"   
"Fighting with Ukyou, remember?" he replied, unclamping Ranma's hands from his clothing.   
"Did you hurt him?"   
"A little," he replied. "But we have an understanding now. He'll be helping us out some. He has an understanding that she gets to meet Ranma Saotome right after we win the ice skating match."   
Ranma wasn't placated. "Do you have any idea what I had to go through while you were out fighting Ukyou?"   
"Well, I was out there fighting Ukyou, so no, I don't."   
"Kasumi caught me!"   
Tarou froze. "You mean she..."   
"Yes! She dragged me up to her room!"   
_Kasumi_ had done that? This was deadly serious, Tarou realized.   
"She made me try on _dresses_!!!"   
"What?!"   
"And a blouse! And a HIGH-HEELS for kami's sake!!!"   
Tarou stared in disbelief at Ranma.   
"And the worst part was, I had to wear a BRA!!!"   
Tarou finally lost his control.   
"BWA HA HA HA!!!"   
"It's not funny!" Ranma roared angrily. "Do you have any idea what it was like!"   
Tarou was still laughing, now lying on the floor, clutching his sides.   
"That's it," Ranma seethed. "I'll KILL you!!!"   
The door opened up several moments later to reveal Tarou and Jasmine flailing away at each other on the mattress. They turned to Akane looking at them in embarrassment.   
"Oh my..." she stammered, red-faced. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt. I-I thought you were fighting. Sorry..." She quickly closed the door and fled.   
Tarou and Ranma looked back at each other in bewilderment before realizing what they probably looked like. Tarou was presently in the process of pinning Ranma against the wall by her shirt, which had the side-effect of pulling the shirt up quite a bit...   
Both let off a stream of assorted swear words as it dawned on them what Akane had probably thought.   
"Kuso! I don't believe this!" Ranma exclaimed, disentangling herself from Tarou and sprinting after Akane. Tarou was right behind her.   
They caught her just before she reached her bedroom.   
"Akane!" Jasmine protested. "That's wasn't what it looked like!"   
"Nothing like it!" Tarou agreed quickly, giving what was probably the falsest smile he'd ever given in his life.   
She gave them a smile. "Don't worry, you two. I won't tell. But you really should close the door if you're going to do that. And keep the noise down. My sister might just try videotaping you."   
"But we weren't-"   
Akane gave them a wink. "Don't mind me, you two, okay?"   
The door shut before they could protest.   
"Oh, this is just great," Ranma moaned. "This is just GREAT!!!"   
"Shut up, Fem-boy. Go get some sleep. I'll deal with this right now and clear both of us."   
"How?"   
"Don't ask questions. Just go. I don't need you interfering."   
"You'd better not do anything funny," Ranma warned, heading back to Tarou's room.   
Tarou smirked and knocked on Akane's door. "Akane? May I come in for a moment?"   
"Just a minute," she replied. There were some faint sounds of clothing being moved.   
"Come in," she called after a moment.   
He quietly entered, closing the door behind him. Ranma was going _kill_ him for this when he found out. But it was necessary. If there was anything he had learned, it was that people who lived in Nerima could take anything you said and extrapolate it into something completely different. Akane tended to be a good example of this.   
"What is it?" she asked curiously.   
Tarou cleared his throat. "Well... it's just that I think you should know something."   
"Is this about what just happened..."   
"Partly," he confirmed. "Jasmine's a good friend of mine, but I think a lot of people are getting the wrong idea about what goes on between us. What you saw before wasn't what it looked like. We were actually trying to beat each other up."   
Akane looked doubtful. "Listen, I didn't mean to-"   
He cut her off. "I'm serious Akane. It completely slipped my mind before, but I'd better update you now. You need to know something about Jasmine."   
Akane looked doubtful. "Are you certain?"   
"I am. I know people think she and I are a couple. But the fact is, there's nothing between us. The reason for that is that Jasmine only likes girls."   
Akane's eyes widened at that. "She's only interested in girls? You mean..."   
Tarou nodded, inwardly smiling. And he was telling nothing but the truth. "She's not very obvious about it, but I'm sure you'll see her get uncomfortable whenever you talk about her doing anything with a guy. The fact is, she practically gets sick at the idea of herself with a guy."   
"I... I never realized. And here we were thinking..."   
"Don't worry about it," Tarou soothed. "It was an honest mistake. It's understandable. But I didn't want you to think that we were the type of people who would do something irresponsible like that."   
Akane gave him a smile. "I can understand that. Don't worry. I'll spread the word that you two aren't a couple, okay?"   
Tarou stood up and bowed. "Thank-you, Akane." 

***************** 

-Tarou _does_ use the thermos, although reason is still unknown.   
-Jasmine is a lesbian. 

Nabiki leaned back in her chair, taking the headphones off her head. Interesting. That made two more points to add to her compiled list on Tarou and incidently, Jasmine. Things just got stranger by the moment. Bugging Akane's room seemed to have paid off today.   
But the second point explained a minor detail. The reason Tarou and Jasmine didn't _seem_ to be a couple was that they _weren't_. They were probably two people who had run into each other by chance some time ago, and were now working together to get the hair ribbon back from the Golden Pair. Which was no doubt the reason they felt no compunctions about sleeping the same room together. And which would explain why Jasmine had been so disgusted when Mikado Sanzenin had tried to kiss her. Unfortunately, it explained nothing else at the time.   
She would keep her ears open, she vowed. 

*************** 

As she stared at the ceiling, Akane's mind was awash in thoughts. What she had just learned changed everything. Jasmine was only interested in girls? What did that mean about her behaviour recently? She had seemed happy to spar with Akane and had seemed to be a genuinely friendly person. But she fought all the time with Tarou and had been rather hostile when school boys had managed to corner her and try a few pick up lines. She was obviously more friendly towards girls.   
So what did that mean? Had Jasmine been trying to get more than just 'friendly' with her? She seemed rather careless about her sexuality, what with wearing no bra and boxer shorts, perhaps more than could be attributed to living on the road. Jasmine had been friendly enough to spar with her. Kami, hadn't she found herself saying things she would never have confessed to her own flesh and blood? Had Jasmine somehow endeared herself to that extent?   
Akane shuddered. It didn't seem right with her. She wasn't... _that_ way herself, she was certain. She still felt free to oogle the males during sports, despite her anger towards them during the times they had tried to defeat her in combat. She didn't feel any differently when she saw her friends naked in the change rooms. But had anyone else ever gotten that close to her in so long? Had she been claimed to hate men so long that she had actually begun to believe it?   
Maybe she was just being paranoid. 


	8. Public Unrelations

Tarou 1/2   
By Intrasonic 

Chapter 7: Public Unrelations 

It was a sunny morning that overlooked the path to Furinken High.   
It was perhaps regrettable that Akane was in no condition to appreciate the good weather, her mind being far too distracted by other things. Namely a certain red-headed girl that was walking along the fence to school, seemingly without a care in the world.   
"Nice day, huh Akane?"   
"Uh... pardon?"   
"I said, it's a nice day today."   
"Oh. Y-yes, it certainly is."   
"You feelin' okay?"   
"Just fine!" Akane assured her hastily, painting a happy smile on her face.   
"Just checkin'. Hey Tarou?"   
"What?" Tarou asked, trailing behind them a few steps. The walks to school were a perfect opportunity, he found, to study the two of them. True, Ranma was in his female form for the rest of the week. But it was still a good way to analyze their psyches. Akane seemed rather agitated right now for some reason. He would have to look into that later on.   
"We still practicing during lunch?"   
"Darn right, we are," he replied. "You still suck at skating."   
Ranma's retort was cut off by someone else. "Hey, Tarou!"   
Tarou's ears perked up at the sound of a familiar voice.   
Ukyou landed gently next to him.   
"Ukyou..." Ranma began hesitantly.   
Tarou interrupted her quickly. "Ukyou," he greeted cheerfully. "What brings you over here?"   
"I'm now a student at Furinken High," he/she replied easily. "You'll probably get some papers this morning."   
"Well, nice to have you," he replied. Obviously, Ukyou was already putting herself in a position to help him and 'Jasmine' out with the skating match. The fact that it would put her in the same school as Ranma was no doubt an added bonus. It was good to have someone so devoted to the cause, he reflected grimly, even if the cause wasn't his own.   
"Where are you from, Ukyou?" Akane asked.   
"Well, I've never really lived anywhere," Ukyou replied gruffly. "My family has always been on the road, really. I'm trying to make a few roots for myself and a school like Furinken seems like a comfortable place to do it."   
"Well, we've sure been getting a lot of martial artists lately. Do you live anywhere yet?"   
"I'm living out of an apartment right now, but I have plans to set up my own restaurant before long. My family has a long tradition of making okonomiyaki."   
"Your own restaurant? At your age?"   
"I'm sixteen. It's legal."   
Akane smiled. "Well, good luck then. Let me know as soon as the restaurant is running and I'll stop by for a meal. Sound alright to you?"   
Ukyou flushed under Akane's smile. She didn't like that look. It looked too much like a lot of other looks she'd gotten over her years of dressing as a guy. "Ah, sure thing."   
Akane smiled inwardly. Ukyou was certainly a handsome specimen, she decided. The type she could lose herself staring at over a lunch hour. A little shy, obviously, but she knew it wouldn't take long for all the school girls to clamor around him. Come to think of it, once word got around that Tarou and Jasmine weren't a couple... 

************* 

"Go 'way!!!" Jasmine demanded.   
Ten feet below her perch up in a tree, approximately fifty male specimens crowded around the trunk, holding enough flowers to set up a flower shop in town.   
"Please, Jasmine!"   
"We love you!"   
"We want to date with you!"   
"Get lost!" she ordered, even as some of the braver boys began to climb the tree.   
"Back, ye varlets!"   
The Boys reluctantly gave way before Kunou's approach, or more specifically, his bokken's approach..   
Ranma moaned. There was only one possible way that things could get worse...   
"Pig-tailed goddess, I have come to save thee!" Kunou announced.   
... and that was it.   
"Get lost!" she threatened. "Or I'll make you _eat_ that bokken!"   
"You are truly a vision to drive men to madness. Even my glorious self is hard pressed to keep my sanity in thy presence..."   
"You never had any sanity!" 

************* 

"Poor girl," Sayuri commented.   
Akane nodded silently.   
"Just like when they used to try to smother you, huh Akane?"   
She smiled. "Jasmine can take care of herself."   
"Still, maybe you should help her out. You're used to beating up all the guys. She doesn't deserve that, you know."   
"Um... maybe Tarou should do it." Akane looked around quickly. Tarou and Ukyou were seated at a lunch table, discussing something quietly. She smiled. If she occupied Tarou, she could talk with Ukyou! All the girls had been dying to talk with him, but he'd been occupied talking with Tarou during every free moment of the day. Well, she would be the first to venture into the uncharted territories.   
"Oh, Tarou?" she asked sweetly.   
"Yes?"   
"I think you might want to establish some order over _there_..."   
He chuckled. "Love to. But it would give everyone the wrong idea, I'm afraid. Still, I think Jasmine would appreciate your help."   
Akane bit her tongue. She didn't want to endear herself to Jasmine anymore than she already had... but she had to admit, Tarou was right. She couldn't let herself get paranoid about this business...   
Striding over, she began to shoulder her way through the dense crowd. "Get out of here! Leave her alone, you perverts!"   
A great deal of commotion ensued, followed by numerous males receiving fists to their head before they backed off.   
"I think its safe now," she called to Jasmine.   
Ranma gave a sheepish smile as she jumped down from the tree. "Uh, yeah. Thanks, 'kane."   
"No problem."   
"Your jealousy is uncalled for," Kunou informed Akane. "Just because the fair Jasmine's beauty makes even you look like a scow in comparison..."   
**WHAMPOWCRUNCHGRINDSNAPPOW**   
"Uh, you okay, Akane?"   
Akane smiled at the unconscious form of Kunou driven _through_ the tree. "Oh, just fine, Jasmine."   
"Uh, you don't have to listen to that idiot," Jasmine said hesitantly. "I mean... you ARE cute and all..."   
Akane's face flushed bright red. "Uh... thank-you, Jasmine. I-I'd better get back to my friends. I-I just wanted to give you a hand." She quickly returned to where her friends were seated.   
Ranma watched her go with a nervous smile. Akane was a pretty nice person, really. Not exactly a bombshell where appearance was concerned, but that was the case for virtually anyone when he had a cursed form like his own to compare it to. And it couldn't be denied that she was pretty cute. There was so much more about her that was easy to miss underneath the tomboyish exterior. Her desire to excel at martial arts, her willingness to stick up for friends... a really nice girl. 

**************** 

"Listen, you've got some serious work to do if you want to have a prayer of winning through normal means."   
Tarou shrugged. "We've got four days until the match. A lot can happen."   
Ukyou was less than impressed. "Well, you'll be a one person team at this rate. You're picking up skating okay."   
"It works with my fighting style pretty well," Tarou agreed.   
"But you still need lots of practice. Jasmine, on the other hand, still sucks. I don't know enough about her style, but it must conflict really badly with the idea of skating."   
"She likes aerial combat and direct attacks. And she's been training all her life that way, so we can't get her to adapt to another style easily."   
Ukyou scowled. "Isn't there someone else you could use as a partner?"   
"Not likely. This is Jasmine's fight to begin with. She won't let someone else take her place without a fight."   
"Fine, fine. We'll work with it. Can you two meet me at that ice rink you always use? Four o'clock? I'll see what I can do to coach you along."   
Tarou nodded. "Sounds fine with me."   
"TAROU!!!"   
"What?"   
Ranma was storming over, looking mad enough to eat nails and chew every mouthful twenty times. "You bastard! What did you do?!"   
"I don't know. You tell me."   
Ranma collared him, an impressive feat considered that he was over half a foot taller than her at the moment. "What did you tell Akane last night?" she hissed.   
Tarou snickered. "Oh... _that_! You mean... you _do_ like boys? I had no idea-"   
With a twist, Jasmine hurled him into a wall hard enough to break it. He crawled out of the wreckage, still laughing.   
"What's your problem?"   
"You're twisting the whole story around!" she growled, lunging again.   
Tarou was ready this time, dodging her fists and feet. "What's the matter? You _want_ guys chasing you around all the time?"   
"That's not the point!"   
"Then what is? I told her nothing but the truth, fem-boy! Live with it!"   
"I'll live with it! You won't when I'm done with you!" 

***************** 

"Wow, maybe they really aren't a couple," Sayuri commented.   
Akane nodded. "They fight that all the time, really."   
They watched as Jasmine punched several holes in the wall where Tarou's head had been.   
"They must be pretty tough. I can't believe they haven't killed each other yet."   
"I wonder if they have a chance at the skating match?"   
They watched as Tarou punched several holes in the wall where Jasmine's head had been.   
"I heard that they've got a long way to go before challenging the Golden Pair."   
"Still, if they could hit the Golden Pair with some of those punches, they'd win easily."   
"I've seen the Golden Pair once. They've got some amazing moves on the ice. Nobody can even hit them."   
"Well, Tarou and Jasmine are both really good fighters. They might be the first."   
"So what's Jasmine like?"   
Akane coloured. "What do you mean?"   
"Well, she only likes girls, right? Has she ever... tried anything?"   
"Oh no," Akane assured them, her stomach doing flops as she spoke. "I'd never be interested anyway. Just because most of the guys at this school are perverts doesn't mean there aren't better ones out there."   
"What about Tarou?"   
"Too old, and he doesn't live in Japan in the first place."   
"What about Ranma, then?"   
"Well... he's okay, I'll admit. Except that he's disappeared with no explanation all of a sudden. Not very dependable, I'd say."   
"Well, give him a chance to explain when he gets back. You never know."   
"And he never takes me seriously at martial arts. He treats me like I'm some sort of fragile vase!"   
"I could go for that," Sayuri replied dreamily. "Those strong, muscular arms carrying me... I would feel so safe, so secure..."   
"I'll tell him you said that."   
"Hey!"   
"Just kidding. I'd like to feel secure too. But not when I'm sparring. I'll just take the 'strong muscular arms' everywhere else."   
They both laughed, continuing to watch the fight. The outside school wall had been completely demolished by now, the trees in the yard now beginning to fall victim to the missed attacks.   
"So what about your sister? She's been following Tarou around everywhere!"   
"I think she's getting a little obsessed. She can't find out anything about Tarou, so she's got her reputation on the line, I guess. Sometimes I can't understand her at all."   
"If she can't find out anything about him, that can't be chance. He must be deliberately keeping her from learning anything. He could be a convicted killer or something."   
"Or just a smart person who enjoys playing my sister's own game. I think if he was serious, he'd have done something to her by now."   
"What could he do? Nabiki's got all the teachers wound around her little finger. And I don't think Tarou would hit a defenseless person like her."   
"I don't know. Tarou's pretty smart, though. I'll bet he would figure something out." 

**************** 

Ukyou calmly watched Tarou and Jasmine fight it out. Tarou hadn't been kidding. Jasmine was good enough to pound her face into the dirt and feed her own spatula to her in a regular fight. And Tarou was better still. Was he telling the truth? Was Ranma too good for her to beat?   
Perhaps Tarou was right, it was all Genma's fault. She could cream him, and let it go at that. Ranma would have a few things to answer for still, of course. But wouldn't it be good to have this all over with? Then she could just live out her life like a normal person.   
"Ukyou Kounji."   
Ukyou looked up curiously. "That's me," she agreed. "And you are...?"   
"Nabiki Tendou. I just thought that I wouldn't mind meeting the new transfer student."   
"Pleased to meet you," Ukyou replied politely.   
"Charmed. Word is, you and Tarou are in cohoots over this skating match."   
How had she known that? She and Tarou had only agreed to it yesterday. However she'd learned about it, it couldn't have been honest. "And your concern is?"   
"I just find it surprising that you would suddenly volunteer to help him like that."   
"Go ahead and be surprised."   
"Don't be so hostile, Ukyou," Nabiki soothed.   
"I'm not. I'm taking offense to having my privacy violated on my first day at class."   
"Oh, don't. I know all about everyone."   
"You mean, you know about Tarou?"   
Ukyou smirked as Nabiki flinched. So Tarou had been right. She was steamed that she couldn't learn anything about him. And was trying to pump Ukyou for information. Should she clam up? Or perhaps she could have some fun.   
"I know a little about him," Nabiki said, calm again. "He's new here, too."   
"So what did you want to know?" Ukyou invited playfully.   
"I was just curious if you knew why he's here. He seems like a rather dangerous person. I'm rather concerned for the population."   
_Sure_ she was. "I have no idea," she replied honestly. "But he's certainly a dangerous person. You wouldn't believe what I've seen him do when he thinks nobody's watching."   
"Oh really?" Nabiki invited playfully.   
"Seriously," Ukyou confirmed. "I saw him beat the tar out of a girl who got in his way. Punched her black and blue without mercy. Threw her in a pile of garbage too."   
Nabiki smiled in good-humor, obviously not believing a word of it. "Surely you jest, Ukyou."   
"I swear on my honor as a martial artist that it happened."   
Nabiki's face hardened upon hearing the oath. "Really?"   
"And that wasn't the worst of it."   
"You mean... he didn't stop there?"   
"Nope. He actually ripped the shirt off of her."   
Nabiki's gulped. "He... did that?"   
"I saw it with my own eyes, on my honor. I won't tell you the rest, but it was even... more unbelievable."   
Without another word, Ukyou, stood up from the table and left, smirking only after Nabiki couldn't see her face any more. Yes, the truth was a handy little tool. 

**************** 

Lunchtime found Tarou and Ranma waiting at the ice rink for Ukyou to arrive.   
"You think this is a good idea?" Ranma asked worriedly. "What if she clues in?"   
"She won't. Just shut up and play the part of an attentive student. You suck when it comes to skating. Just another thing I'm better than you at, I suppose."   
Ranma made a face. "You watch it, buddy. I still haven't forgiven you for letting everyone know that I 'only like girls'."   
"But it's the truth, isn't it? I just left out a minor little detail. Say, speaking of girls, how about the Tendou girls? What do you think of them?"   
"What do you mean by that?"   
"What I said. What do you think of Mr. Tendou's daughters?"   
Ranma shrugged. The engagement was about the last thing he ever let cross his mind. "I dunno. They're okay, I guess."   
"Who do you think is the best looking? Akane?"   
A flush. "Uh... not really. She's okay, but Kasumi's prettier."   
"What about Nabiki? Isn't she pretty?"   
"Not really."   
"So what would you describe her as?"   
"Evil."   
"Well, personality aside, I mean."   
"I dunno. She's pretty hot, I guess."   
"More than Kasumi?"   
"I'd say so. Kasumi's pretty, not sexy or nothin'."   
"Can't argue there. What about Akane?"   
"I dunno."   
"Seriously," Tarou insisted innocently. "What do you think about Akane? I won't tell a soul, I swear it. On my honor."   
"She's nice. She's... not really pretty or sexy. She's _cute_, I guess."   
"Can't argue there, I suppose."   
"You think so too?"   
He shrugged non-challantly. "Sure. Another day, I might actually consider flirting with them, y'know? They're all a step up from the normal girls you see at school."   
Ranma looked down at the ground. "Yeah, I guess so."   
Tarou smirked inwardly, almost able to see the gears turning in Ranma's mind. His name should have been _Cupid_. 

***************** 

Ukyou arrived five minutes later, even going so far as to bring along a couple of extra okonomiyaki lunches for them, citing that she needed to get into practice for when she opened her business.   
"You're an excellent cook," Tarou complemented.   
"I'm the best," she agreed modestly. "Alright, time for practice. Jasmine, get out on the ice and warm up. I need to talk with Tarou about something."   
Ranma obeyed, albeit with some grumbling about favoritism and unfairness.   
"I had a little talk with Nabiki," Ukyou began, after checking that there were no one nearby. "Very interesting."   
"She's an annoying little brat, that's all."   
"Well, she'll tread lightly around you, I think."   
"Oh?"   
"I told her about our little encounter last night."   
Tarou's eye narrowed, but he said nothing. "Oh?"   
Ukyou looked disappointed. "Is that it? Aren't you going to beat me up for telling her about the incident?"   
"I will once I find out exactly what you told her."   
She shrugged. "Ah, you're no fun. Everybody else around here always assumes the worst when you say something like that."   
"Tell me about it. But I'm not everybody else."   
"Yeah. Anyway, like I said, I told her about the incident. I told her how you beat a girl black and blue and threw her in a pile of trash. And how you even ripped her shirt off afterwards."   
Tarou chuckled evilly. "I like it."   
"Say, I meant to ask you before. One of the people you're fighting is a girl. Do you hit girls?"   
"I beat Jasmine up all the time."   
"The heck you do!" Ranma yelled as she skated, still unable to maintain a straight path.   
Ukyou ignored the outburst. "Well, she's a top-notch martial artist who likes other girls. What about _normal_ girls?"   
"Don't worry, I'll be more than happy to give that annoying little rabbit a bloated face before the match is over. I only fight girls if they get in my way. I don't go looking for fights. I just enjoy them when they happen."   
"Jeesh. Just because you're a juggernaut with a little cold water. I still say that you should just douse yourself with cold water and get this fight over with."   
"But then it wouldn't be a secret. And I wouldn't be as trusted. I have things to do here, you know."   
"Be that way. But you'd better be ready to get wet if you want to win this badly. Or else do something make Jasmine skate better."   
"I'm sorely tempted to get wet."   
"Really?"   
"Not yet. I'll pack a thermos when I fight regardless. But I want to win without that. There are plenty of other dirty tricks that I can use to win."   
"Well, I guess that's almost as good. Do you use any weapons?"   
"I've used a few before. But I'm best hand-to-hand."   
"What can you do hand-to-hand, then? You're fast and strong, sure. Any tricks?"   
"Nothing special."   
"I'm serious, Tarou. If you don't want to tell me, fine. But I want you to win this stupid match, and I want to have as much as possible to work with."   
"I'm serious. I don't use special moves. I find the enemy's weakness and hit hard. Or in emergencies, I soak myself and smear them across the pavement. Trust me, it hasn't failed yet."   
Ukyou conceded the point. "Well, you don't seem to want to consider this an emergency, so maybe you should work on weaknesses. If they have any while on the ice."   
"There's only one that I can think of," Tarou admitted, starting out towards the ice. "They'll probably play fair. I won't."   
Ukyou shrugged. "We'll work with it." 

*************** 

It was about fifteen minutes into practice that Tarou began to reconsider Ukyou's suggestion of a new partner. Coincidently, this was the time it took to get pasted across the face several dozen times with a spatula.   
"You're too slow!" Ukyou yelled, casually coasting around the rink.   
In the center of the rink, crumpled in a heap, were both Tarou and Ranma, who were learned the hard way about their deficiencies on ice skates.   
"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" Tarou growled, getting to his feet.   
Ukyou smirked. Well, she _was_. Fair punishment for what he'd done to her before, she figured. "It won't get better until _you_ get better."   
Jasmine was trying to get to her feet too. "I'm not beaten yet!" she claimed.   
"You're _beyond_ beaten," Tarou griped. "You suck, you know that? I've never seen someone who sucked as bad as you. Keep this up and I'll trade you in for a new partner, got it?"   
"Well, excuse me if I've never skated before!"   
"Well, I never have either! You don't see me tripping over my own feet, do you?"   
"Aw, shut up!"   
"Why you try to make me, fem-boy?"   
Ukyou watched the exchange and rolled her eyes. The two never seemed to tire of fighting each other. Granted, it was good practice for them, fighting while on ice. But it didn't seem to do be helping enough. And she had yet to understand why Tarou always called Jasmine 'Fem-boy'. Or why Jasmine always took it so personally.   
"I've found you!"   
All three turned at the shout. At the edge of the ice, an extremely pissed off young man was standing, his battle aura already beginning to melt the ice near him.   
"Ryouga!" Jasmine exclaimed.   
"Haven't seen you in a while!" Tarou greeted cheerfully.   
"I'll send you to HELL!!!" Ryouga bellowed.   
"Come on and try, Umbrella Boy."   
"Who is this jackass?" Ukyou demanded.   
"He wants to pound Ranma Saotome into the ground too," Tarou supplied, giving a sideways smirk towards Jasmine.   
Hefting his umbrella, Ryouga leveled it in Tarou's direction. "You have no idea of the horrors I went through after you gave me bad directions!"   
"You probably got lost!" Ranma accused.   
Ryouga flushed, indicating that the guess had been correct. "That's beside the point! I've wandered this city for days now, looking for Ranma Saotome, and no one knows where he is. Half the people speak Portuguese! But I'll bet you know where he is! And you're going to tell me!"   
"Get out of here!" Ukyou growled. Ranma was _hers_ to beat up first.   
"I went easy on you last time," Ryouga warned. "You get in my way, you'll regret it!"   
"Keep practicing," Ukyou ordered Tarou and Ranma. "I'll deal with this jackass."   
"Maybe you shouldn't," Ranma suggested nervously.   
Tarou silenced her with a glance. "Go ahead, Ukyou. We'll keep practicing here."   
Dragging a reluctant Ranma behind him, Tarou dragged her away from the scene. Ukyou casually coasted along the ice towards Ryouga. 

"Alright, you little jackass," she growled. "We're busy here. Get lost and I'll forget I saw you."   
Ryouga smiled toothily. "You're making a big mistake, pretty-boy. You shouldn't get in the way of revenge. I'll send Saotome to hell when I find him, and I'll make anyone who gets in my way join him!"   
"Then I guess you'll just have to get through me first, you little pig."   
Ryouga set down his backpack and hefted a bamboo umbrella as though it was a weapon. "Don't worry. This won't take long." 

"He's changed," Ranma whispered.   
"Huh? Forget about him. We need to practice."   
"I'm serious!" Ranma insisted, still watching the fight. "He used to be a really shy guy when I knew him back in junior high. How he seems kind of cold. He must be really angry..."   
"Forget about him!" Tarou growled. Just his luck that his partner was afflicted with a guilt trip now. 

"Die!!!" Ryouga yelled, lunging forwards.   
Ukyou braced herself, holding her spatula in readiness.   
**WHAM**   
Ukyou stared in disbelief, then began to laugh hysterically at the fallen form of Ryouga.   
"You think that's funny!?" Ryouga snarled, struggling back to his feet.   
"You can't even stand up on the ice!" she chortled. "Some fight this is going to be!"   
"I'm not beaten yet!" he shot back, carefully advancing over the ice.   
For her part, Ukyou simply circled around him lazily, forcing him to keep turn to face her, with only some success. Eventually, she had positioned herself behind him, and wiped her spatula across the back of his head.   
Ryouga went sprawling from the impact, but was already struggling to his feet. "You can't dodge forever!" he threatened. "I'll get you sooner or later!"   
"Later," Ukyou agreed mockingly. "_Much_ later, klutz. You can't fight on ice. Get lost before I have to hurt you." 

"See?" Tarou pointed out. "Ukyou's got nothing to worry about. By the way, if you think that Ryouga looks stupid on ice, you might try looking in a mirror sometime..."   
"Aw shut up!" Ranma snapped. "I oughta..."   
Yet another Warm and Friendly Exchange of Opinions was interrupted by yet another set of arrivals to the scene.   
"You there!"   
They spun to face an angry looking couple of skaters.   
"Not now," Ranma groaned.   
"Pretty-boy and the little cutesy girl," Tarou greeted cheerfully.   
"You dare call me that?" Mikado snarled.   
"Actually, I was calling your partner the pretty boy," he replied with a smirk.   
Mikado flushed angrily, leaving Azusa an opening to speak. "Give back _Thomas_!"   
Tarou felt a small chill grow in his stomach. Thomas was the stupid pet-name Azusa had given to the Dragon's Whisker. "What are you talking about?" he growled.   
"Someone has misappropriated that hair ribbon and the obvious culprits would be you two," Mikado accused.   
"If I had that string back, I wouldn't be training!" Ranma snapped angrily, her mind beginning to come up with a few implications of this event.   
"When was it stolen?" Tarou snapped.   
"Last night," Mikado replied stonily. "That someone was actually able to steal from the immense network of security surrounding my partner's possessions is remarkable by itself. Clearly, a capable martial artist was at work here."   
"Well, it wasn't either of us," Tarou snarled, advancing until he was only a foot from Mikado. "But understand me _very_ well. You are going to get your ass kicked during that match. And if you don't produce that string immediately after the ass-kicking, you are going to be in pain beyond _anything_ you could possibly imagine. To be more exact, you're going to experience every form of torture I ever heard about or saw while traveling across China my entire life. Do I make myself clear?"   
"I find it amusing to hear the thief threatening the victim."   
"We didn't steal nothing!" Jasmine growled. "If this is your way of trying to keep-"   
"Young lady, it is nothing of the sort. I rather think that this is your way of trying to get out of the fight against us..."   
"Don't worry," Tarou snapped. "The duel is on regardless. I enjoy pounding on snobs like you for fun. You make sure you're there. And you'd better bring that hair ribbon with you."   
A shout made them all turn to the ongoing fight between Ryouga and Ukyou. 

"Thought you were smart, did you?" Ryouga snarled, his fist clamped around Ukyou's spatula. He had driven his umbrella into the ice to serve as an anchor. "Prepare to go to hell!"   
Ukyou tugged on her weapon, but her opponent seemed to have a grip of steel, and refused to let go. So she let go of the weapon, sliding backwards out of range. Clearly her opponent had some considerable strength to draw upon.   
Grabbing a handful of throwing spatulas, she hurled them towards Ryouga, who released his umbrella, bringing the flat of the spatula to bear. The weapon bounced harmlessly off the weapon.   
"Is that all you've got?" he chuckled. "Armed combat isn't very good without a weapon, pretty boy. Time to for payback now..."   
Now Ranma had managed to intervene herself between Ukyou and Ryouga. "Alright, that enough!" she snapped. "You want to fight? You deal with me!"   
"Get out of the way!" Ryouga ordered.   
"You gonna hit a girl?" Ranma challenged.   
Ryouga looked a little hesitant, but finally gritted his teeth. "If that's what it takes!!!"   
Ranma's eyes opened wide for a moment. Evidently she had expected a different answer. She calmed down after a moment. "Alright then... you force me to use a secret technique!"   
Ryouga didn't seem to care as he slowly advanced towards her across the ice. Drawing back his umbrella, he prepared to flatten his opponent where she stood.   
Ranma suddenly moved. "Take THIS!!!" she shouted.   
Ryouga choked, the umbrella dropping from his hand like a lead weight. His face began to go beat red. Finally his nose spurted blood and he collapsed on the ground in a lifeless heap.   
Ranma smirked. "You haven't changed _that_ much."   
"What'd you do?" Ukyou asked in awe. She'd never seen a such a deadly technique in her entire life...   
Ranma turned. Her shirt was wide open. "He gets that way whenever pretty girls are concerned."   
Ukyou made an incredulous face. "You mean to tell me that he can't stand seeing a girl in the buff? The flashed your chest? _That_ is your secret technique?"   
She nodded, looking down at Ryouga's fallen form. "I was surprised he'd even hit a girl to begin with. He must be pretty angry..."   
'Jasmine' was talking too much, Tarou decided. "Forget about him. I guess practice is over for today. You two have classes this afternoon."   
"Yes _teacher_," Ukyou muttered, retrieving her spatula.   
"I don't believe we're finished," Mikado interrupted stonily.   
"Give back Thomas!" Azusa chimed in.   
"We'll finish this during the match," Tarou snapped. "If you don't produce that string, you'll wish you had!"   
Mikado gave him a level look. "I care nothing for that string. I care more for our match."   
Tarou returned the look. "Then keep this a secret, pretty-boy. And we'll flush out the thief by the time the match comes around." 

***************** 

The afternoon was uneventful, for which Tarou was rather thankful. In his mood, he was in no state of mind to deal with other people's problems. He had plenty of his own, and they were building up by the moment.   
All for one miserable location...   
Because two men were too petrified to face an old pervert named Happousai, he was here running himself into the ground playing matchmaker. Two of the Tendou daughters clearly had no chance of getting together with Ranma. Ranma was stuck as a girl for the rest of the week. Ukyou was after Ranma for an old grudge. He was due for a skating match against two professionals, paired with an idiot like Ranma. Another martial artist named Ryouga was after Ranma's blood too. And now the Dragon's Whisker had seemingly been stolen by a third party. It was more than a man should ever have to endure.   
He didn't care about his opponents. Even if they happened to prove themselves dangerous, he'd flatten them anyway with a splash of cold water. But the grudges against Ranma were a real threat. If Akane thought that Ranma was nothing more than a thief, things would be very bad indeed. Or if she learned about Ranma's Jusenkyou curse. Or if the Dragon's Whisker completely disappeared.   
He needed to straighten things out right away, before things got any more complicated. Two many things could go wrong now. He needed some order so that he could concentrate on his main objective.   
So who could have stolen the Dragon's Whisker? If Mikado was to be believed, it had been done by a martial artist. The only people around with any talent in martial arts were few. Himself, Ranma, Ukyou, Ryouga, Akane, and the Golden Pair.   
He knew he wasn't responsible. Ranma would be wearing the Dragon's Whisker by   
now. Ukyou would have given it over to make Ranma show his face to her. Ryouga didn't know anything about it all. Akane would have given it to 'Jasmine' by now. The Golden Pair were the victims. If they were lying about this, he would beat the truth out of them at the match regardless. So he would have to assume someone else was responsible.   
So if it wasn't a martial artist... it had to have been a professional. Someone who was perhaps lacking in sheer power and skill, but made up for it with knowledge in the field. Someone who knew their way around security systems, perhaps. He would have to look into this further. It was fortunate that he had access to the student records. 

******************* 

It was a quiet afternoon at the Tendou household. Soun and Genma playing their customary games of cheating and Shogi. Kasumi making preparations for supper. Nabiki behind closed doors in her room. Akane doing homework in her room. A knock at the door.   
Kasumi blinked, then automatically headed towards the door to answer the guest. Before she had even reached the knob, the knocking was repeated, more urgent this time.   
Opening the door, she was greeted by a frantic crowd of girls. "Hello," she greeted.   
"Is Akane in!?" the foremost asked quickly.   
"Why yes, I think. Up in her room..."   
The entire crowd blazed by her without another word, charging up the steps to Akane's room.   
"Oh my." 

****************** 

"Now, let's see... if I square the imaginary portion here and multiply it by the cubed portion here..."   
Akane sighed. She hated math. Sure her marks were good, but they didn't come easily by a long shot. Math was her sister's specialty. She preferred literature herself.   
She was given a breather from schoolwork when the door was thrown open violently.   
"Akane!!!"   
Akane gasped as she saw an entire heard of her classmates come stampeding inside her bedroom. "W-what's going on?"   
"You have to help us, Akane!"   
Akane took one look at the desperate look on her classmate's face. Total desperation. "What's wrong, Aida?"   
"We were attacked!"   
"Attacked?" he fists balled up. "By who?"   
"By the St. Hebereke Rhythmic Gymnastic's team!"   
"Rhythmic Gymnastics?"   
"You have to avenge us, Akane? You will, won't you?" 

****************** 

"Way too slow!" Tarou mocked, sliding backwards away from the blistering array of punches Ranma had thrown his way.   
"You're just lucky," Ranma shot back disgustedly.   
"Think what you like Fem-boy. You're faster when you're wet and you still can't touch me! This dojo would have to be ten times smaller before you can hit me!"   
"You just wait!"   
"I'm waaaaaaiting..."   
Ranma launched into another berserker furry of punches and kicks, Tarou weaving in between them expertly.   
"Alright, you asked for it!" Ranma growled. "Time for the Saotome Secret Techniques!"   
Tarou perked up. Maybe this would prove useful for the upcoming fight...   
Ranma suddenly pointed. "Ah! One hundred yen!"   
Tarou looked.   
With a grunt, Ranma slammed into Tarou, spinning him around and hurling him through the side of the dojo wall. Tarou got to his feet, laughing loudly. "Beautiful! Let's see some more of those tricks!"   
"What?"   
"You heard me, Fem-boy," Tarou insisted, gingerly rubbing his shoulder. "We're not winning this match with the way you skate, you know. We need a few tricks to use. I've got a few already. We need more. That stupid little thing should be good for a free hit on them."   
Ranma grudgingly nodded. "Pop invented all kinds of stupid things like that."   
"Then let's hear them. We only have a few days left before the match."   
"I've got a scroll in my luggage. I'll show it to you. They're pretty stupid anyway." He smirked at Tarou. "Can't believe you actually fell for one of them!"   
Tarou hit Ranma over the head. "Shut up, Fem-boy! Before I decide to pull one hundred yen out of your hide!"   
They met Akane as they were leaving the dojo. She was dressed in a gi and had an armful of gymnastics batons, hoops and ribbons in her arms. "Hi Tarou, Jasmine," she greeted. "Are you two done with the dojo?"   
They nodded. "New techniques?" Ranma asked curiously, looking at the equipment she was carrying..   
She nodded. "Thought I'd try a change."   
She did not venture any more information on the topic, so they continued on their separate ways without any more questions. 

****************** 

"I couldn't get any leads on who stole the Dragon's Whisker," Tarou growled. "I checked all the student records, but nobody came up as likely."   
Ranma cursed silently. "Well, why would anybody want to steal that Dragon's Whisker in the first place. It's only good for one thing..." she trailed off, eyes narrowing. "Of course! I'll kill him. I'll kill him for this!"   
"What?" Tarou demanded quickly. "Who?"   
"POP!!!" Ranma bellowed, storming into the living room. "Where are-"   
Tarou pounded Ranma on the head. "_Mr. Saotome_," he hissed. "He's not your father..."   
That was enough to make Ranma calm down a little. "Hello, Mr. Tendou," she greeted cheerfully.   
"Hello, Jasmine," Soun acknowledged. "Can I help you?"   
"I'm looking for... Mr. Saotome. Have you seen him?"   
"I'm afraid not. He received a challenge only an hour ago and has gone to meet it."   
"A challenge?"   
"Yes. Quite strange really. It was done on an Okonomiyaki. I don't know what to make of it myself..."   
"Where was the challenge?"   
"In that old abandoned lot a few blocks from here."   
"I know it," Ranma agreed. "Come on, Tarou!"   
Tarou wasted no time in following her. 

******************* 

"So what makes you think your father stole the Dragon's Whisker?" Tarou demanded.   
"Are you kidding?" Ranma shot back. "The Dragon's Whisker makes a guy's hair grow when you eat it. It's a cure for baldness, see?"   
Tarou nodded slowly. "I see. So you used to be bald?"   
Ranma hit him on the head. "Idiot! I ate it by accident! But Pop's bald, right? He's the only person who would have a reason to steal it!"   
She had a point. "Okay, fine. We'll beat the Dragon's Whisker out of him. After Ukyou's finished with him, anyway. Why's she so ticked off at you, anyway?"   
"I don't know! We were best buddies back then. We'd fight everyday, then have a nice meal of Okonomiyaki after. His dad was really nice too."   
_His_ dad? Tarou had sneaking suspicion about something. "He was just your average boy, huh?" he inquired casually.   
"Well, yeah. Sure, not many guys carry around a giant spatula, but it was his family's school of fighting. He was pretty good with it too."   
No doubt about it. Ranma was the biggest idiot that Tarou had ever seen in his life. Although recent events were giving him some stiff competition. "Well, he's mad about something," Tarou muttered.   
"I'll pump Pop for information when we find him. This is probably his fault." 

********************* 

"Feel the wrath of the child you left behind!!!"   
"Ukyou! Forgive me! I was poor! I could barely afford to feed Ranma and myself-"   
**CLANG**   
Genma slumped to the ground in a daze, a giant spatula still bent over his head.   
Ukyou scowled. "Alright, you little swine. You've got a lot of explaining to do. What did you think you were doing? Running off with my family's inheritance!"   
"I-It's not what you think," Genma managed to gasp out.   
"Probably worse. So how did you get your son to go along with it? I thought HE was a decent guy, at least."   
No answer.   
**CLANG**   
"Well? It's not going to get any better! Speak up!"   
"He..."   
"Yeah? Speak up, jackass!"   
"He... Hethoughtyouwereaboy."   
"What?"   
"He... thought you were... a boy."   
Ukyou stared at him incredulously. "You... can't be serious."   
Genma nodded weakly.   
"He must have known," she stated firmly. "He must have known about the engagement."   
Genma shook his head weakly. "I... forgot to... tell him."   
**CLANG**   
It was at this time that Tarou and Ranma arrived on the scene.   
Ukyou looked at them wearily. "You two," she muttered, her face expressionless.   
"You done with him?" Ranma asked.   
"Yeah. All done. See you later."   
Tarou eyed Ukyou curiously, but didn't say anything.   
"Alright you," Ranma snarled, lifting the beaten Genma to his feet. "You got some explaining to do!"   
"Do you ever," Tarou agreed, cracking his knuckles.   
"The Dragon's Whisker," Ranma snarled. "WHERE IS IT?!?"   
"I don't know what you're talking about," Genma protested.   
"_Sure_, you don't," Ranma growled. "If you think I'm staying as a girl the rest of my life, you're nuts!"   
"What are you talking about, boy?"   
"You stole that Dragon's Whisker, didn't you?"   
"I didn't steal anything, I swear!"   
"You didn't steal anything from Ukyou either," Tarou smirked. "_Right_?"   
Genma smiled weakly. "T-that was different. I didn't steal anything else!"   
"Forget it, Fem-boy," Tarou muttered. "We're not getting anywhere with this loser. Why don't you go home. I'll beat some sense into him and figure out where he hid this stupid Dragon's Whisker."   
Ranma make a face. She clearly didn't like the idea one bit. "Are you going to be rough on him?" she finally asked.   
Tarou chuckled evilly. "Only if I have to."   
"Be rough," she growled, stalking off.   
Tarou waited until Ranma was out of sight. "Alright, _Mr. Saotome_," he growled, hoisting the man to his feet.   
"I don't know anything about this."   
"I'll be blunt. You want your son to get engaged, cough up that Dragon's Whisker. You're the only person around with a motive for stealing it."   
"But I didn't steal it!"   
"Oh really? I know the story about Ukyou, you know. You were quick enough to steal that yattai from her family, weren't you? I find it pretty easy to see you stealing the Dragon's Whisker too!"   
"I didn't steal it, I swear it! I don't even know what a Dragon's Whisker is!"   
"Like your word means anything."   
"If I'm lying, I'll tell you where The Master is sealed away," Genma insisted.   
Tarou eyed him steadily. Finally, he released him. "I'll hold you to that, pig. You go back on your word, I will do everything in my power to make sure you suffer like you've never suffered before! And I'll give 'Your Master' your address when I find him without your help to boot. Do I make myself clear?"   
It was almost scary how fast Genma nodded in reply to that. If for no other reason, Tarou was inclined to believe he was telling the truth.   
Unfortunately, it left him no closer to finding who the real thief was. 

******************* 

It was with ragged gasps that Nabiki arrived at the park, carefully concealed behind some bushes. She couldn't believe how fast Tarou and Jasmine had run to the park. She had always considered herself in decent shape, but they had outdistanced her easily. She hoped she hadn't missed anything important. Or revealing.   
"...I'll tell you where The Master is sealed away."   
Nabiki's eyes opened wide. A person. She'd never heard a reference quite like that before, but it was a sure bet that both Genma and Tarou knew the meaning. It was probably an important person. What else were they saying now...   
A hand clamped firmly around her arm, freezing her in her paces.   
"And who do we have here?"   
She turned to see Ukyou glaring at her menacingly. "Ukyou," she greeted cheerfully.   
"Miss Tendou," Ukyou returned, not quite as cheerfully. "Tarou mentioned that you were desperate for some information on him, but this is really low, I think. Why don't you run off home before I let him know about this?"   
Ukyou effortlessly lifted her off the ground. "Let me put it another way. Why don't you run off home before _I_ do it for him?"   
"You'd hit a poor defenseless girl like me? A big strong guy like you?" Nabiki asked in feigned amazement.   
Ukyou laughed evilly. "Oh yeah, you'd better _believe_ I would. Trust me when I say that I have nothing against hitting girls. Or giving them a few bruises. Or breaking a bone or two..."   
Nabiki felt her heart begin to sink. This wasn't good at all. Maybe Ukyou was bluffing. Maybe. "Well, I think... I'll be getting home."   
"Smart move, girl."   
Nabiki walked away as fast as she could without actually looking like she was running. A firm hand stopped her before she had gotten anywhere, turning her around roughly. "What?" she demanded, carefully controlling her panic.   
Ukyou gave her a grim smile. "And I wouldn't take this personally, Miss Tendou. Because if you do..." She jabbed a finger meaningfully into Nabiki's chest. "You're a nice-looking girl, you know that? Be a _shame_ if you tried anything hostile..."   
Nabiki swallowed, her knees beginning to give out from under her. "You... wouldn't _dare_ do anything," she protested.   
"Is that an invitation?" Ukyou asked, a smirk still on her face. She turned and started away. "I'm here on a mission concerning my own personal honor. I won't take kindly to anyone interfering with my mission. Don't do anything rash, Miss Tendou. I'd hate for us to have any _misunderstandings_." 

******************** 

Ranma quietly breezed through the kitchen, taking care to make sure Kasumi didn't notice anything. That last thing she wanted was another session in looking ladylike! She had enough going wrong right now. All she could hope for that Tarou would beat the truth out of his father before long and she would have the Dragon's Whisker back. Until then, she was at loose ends.   
Working out in the dojo seemed as good an idea as any. She would work on her speed, and close the gap a little between herself and Tarou. He was right about one thing. His female form was faster than his male form. But he didn't find the sacrifice in strength and reach to be worth the gain.   
Even as he approached the dojo, he could hear the sounds of someone else jumping around inside the dojo. Akane must still be practicing those new techniques. She would go watch, Ranma decided. Maybe offer some encouragement or something...   
"I HATE THIS STUPID STUFF!!!" came the furious yell.   
Ranma swallowed. Akane sounded angry. Very angry. Maybe it would be better if she came back at another time...   
The yelling had stopped by this time, leaving a surprisingly empty silence behind. Rama swallowed and gathered up her nerve. Maybe it had just been a momentary thing...   
Cautiously peering around the corner, she was startled to see Akane sitting in the middle of the dojo, various hoops and batons scattered around her without pattern. Some of them were broken, obviously by violent means. Akane's arms were hugging herself around her knees, her head lowered.   
Ranma tiptoed into the dojo, not sure what to say. Finally, at a loss to say anything else, she cleared her throat loud enough to let Akane know she was there.   
Akane started upon realizing she wasn't alone. She hesitantly looked up to face Ranma. "Oh... hi, Jasmine." Her eyes looked rather red for some reason.   
"You... okay?" Ranma asked.   
"Yeah... just fine."   
"Um... can I help with anything?"   
Akane smiled weakly. "No... I'm just an idiot, Jasmine. A complete idiot."   
Ranma returned a blank look.   
"I... accepted a match on behalf of the Rhythmic Gymnastics Team against St. Hebereke."   
"I'm sure you'll do good," Ranma offered.   
Akane laughed bitterly. "I can't even manage the techniques. You're not allowed to use any bare-handed blows. I've never fought with weapons in my entire life, Jasmine. I'm supposed to take down the undefeated champion of St. Hebereke with some batons and ribbons."   
"You just need to practice with them a little..."   
"I've been practicing with them for an hour now and I can't even catch the batons. The match is in three days! I'm as good as defeated already."   
"Y-you can't give up already!"   
"Why not? I'll just let them know that I can't do it."   
"But you haven't even tried yet!"   
"What else can I try? I'm a total klutz with this stuff!"   
"I'll help you."   
Akane stared for moment incredulously. "You?"   
Ranma wasn't sure where that volunteer statement had come from, but after a moment's reflection, he decided that it was a good thing. "Sure. I don't know much about Rhythmic Gymnastics, but between the two of us we'll have you good enough to win the match in no time at all!"   
Akane sighed. Perhaps Jasmine's enthusiasm was infectious, or perhaps she was simply too proud to back down from the challenge. Either way... "Alright. I'll try my best."   
Ranma grinned. "Great. Pick a weapon and we'll practice with it."   
Akane nodded, grabbing a gymnastics baton. 

******************* 

It was with a small amount of relief that Tarou saw the doors to the Tendou Dojo. He wasn't sure how the rain had appeared so fast, but he had barely been fast enough to wrap his cloak around him before the skies had begun to pour. Very freaky, he decided.   
Up ahead, he saw another figure frantically running for the door. This person was devoid of any protective clothing, allowing some careful looking to identify the person as Nabiki. Interesting. She seemed to be heading from the same direction he was...   
A quick sprint let him reach the door in time to see Nabiki removing her shoes at the front. He smiled cheerfully. "It does seem to rain at the most inconvenient times, doesn't it?"   
She smiled back. "The weather man certainly messed up _this_ time."   
"So what were you running home from in such a hurry?"   
Nabiki hesitated for just the briefest instant, but it passed. "I was out for a nice little stroll. Your friend Ukyou seems to be in a bad mood right now. You wouldn't believe what he just did when I bumped into him before."   
"Oh?"   
"He actually had the nerve to threaten to break a few my bones."   
Long overdue, Tarou agreed inwardly. Outwardly, "Seriously?"   
"Seriously," she replied grimly. "And you wouldn't believe what he did after that!"   
"You mean, it gets _worse_?" This was hilarious.   
Nabiki beckoned him closer, her voice lowering to a whisper. "He actually threatened to assault me! And he even had the gall to poke this harmless little girl in the _chest_ while he did it!"   
Tarou put on his best look of surprise. "My. He certainly must be in a bad mood. But you might want to be nice around him, Nabiki. I'd hate to see you hurt."   
Nabiki looked taken back. "You mean, you really think he's serious?"   
Tarou bent closer to her. "I don't like you very much Nabiki. But I won't lie to you this once. Ukyou looks at girls differently than most guys. And a pretty-boy like him, well... let's just say that he's _very_ familiar with the female body."   
Nabiki swallowed. "Y-you... think so?"   
Tarou shrugged helplessly. "Very casual about things like _naked girls_ and all. Can't say I see things that way myself, but I'm not his keeper, am I?"   
"I... see," Nabiki agreed slowly. "I had no idea."   
"Just some friendly advice, _Nabiki-darling_," Tarou reminded her off-handedly, heading into the house. "I may not like you, but not even you deserve to have someone like Ukyou mad at you."   
"T-thanks..." Nabiki agreed dumbly.   
Tarou waited until he was in his room before beginning to laugh. He would have to ask Ukyou about the real story tomorrow.   
His brows furrowed briefly. He was willing to bet that it wasn't Genma who had taken it after all. He had been a little _too_ stupid about the Dragon's Whisker. He probably had no idea what it was for in the first place. But that meant that someone else must be responsible for the theft. Back to square one... 

******************* 

Akane flopped down on her bed, completely exhausted. She hadn't thought it was possible to train so hard in her entire life. Her lungs were still gasping for air. Her entire body had been pummeled and worked over like a punching bag for the past few hours.   
But she could now be called competent with a gymnastics baton. Jasmine had been light on the blows, but relentless on the practicing. Akane could now spar with the batons, throw them and parry attacks by them.   
But she still had a long way go. Even discounting the huge arsenal of weapons she hadn't even touched yet, she hadn't even mastered those batons. She'd seen Jasmine spin them around in her hands like Nunchuku almost effortlessly. She still had a long way to go before reaching that level.   
It was scary in way. Jasmine had apparently seen the Rhythmic Gymnastics style once, a long time ago, and had somehow managed to grasp an incredible number of techniques during that one time. Nothing advanced, but it was still unreal. Actually, her fighting abilities bordered on unreal. Aside from Tarou, she was easily a match for anyone else in the entire city. The redhead had never volunteered any information on how she had become so skilled at fighting. Every trick or technique she'd ever displayed was attributed to 'something she'd seen once'. But she didn't sound boastful about it. She seemed to take that ability for granted, really. Really scary in a way.   
Jasmine had been a godsend in a way, she supposed. She had been so close to giving up and canceling her presence in the tournament. But not anymore. Jasmine's easy-going confidence was more infectious than she'd realized at first. She was Akane Tendou, heir to the Tendou School of Anything Goes Martial Arts, Jasmine had stressed. She should be proud of that. But if she wanted to be proud of it, she had to earn it.   
So she _would_ earn it, Akane swore. She might only have three days to get ready for the fight, but she would win it anyway, no matter how hard she had to train. And she had Jasmine there to help her along too. Those were good enough odds, weren't they?   
So why _was_ Jasmine being so helpful? She had her own fight to worry about, didn't she? As a matter of fact, the ice skating match was on the same day as the Rhythmic Gymnastics tournament. She should have been practicing with Tarou. But instead...   
Akane shivered. Perhaps she should stop this immediately. Jasmine was obviously trying a little _too_ hard to get friendly. Akane didn't begrudge the red-head her romantic tastes, but she certainly didn't share them. Should she talk with Jasmine and risk losing a trainer and possibly the match? Or just let things continue and hope that some passive ignorance would serve as a turn-off? Or was their a third option?   
After a moment, an idea came to her. She lay back on her pillow and smiled. It was absolutely perfect. Effective, yet indirect. Firm, yet still gentle. Jasmine would surely understand without being offended. She would try it tomorrow, she decided. 

****************** 

One room over, Nabiki was seated at her desk, looking over her notes. This had almost become a daily routine, she reflected with a smirk. The business of intelligence afforded no relaxation to those involved.   
And now things had just escalated to an entirely new level. Firstly, she had picked up a lead. The Master. Who could that be? She'd never heard the title said with so much fear before in her life. But obviously both Tarou and Genma knew it. Considering both were older than her, it was possibly someone who had been a factor in their lives a long time ago. But who? The only common ground the two had was their martial arts abilities. And even then, that was pushing it. What else did the two have in common? Perhaps she would have to do some questioning.   
And if that didn't work, there was always the skating match. She'd already done a few things to make problems for Tarou and Jasmine. Maybe she should look for some more things to mess up for the twosome. And if _that_ didn't work, perhaps she could play on some of Jasmine's somewhat obvious feelings for Akane. A pity for the redhead, really. Obviously Akane's boy-hating had been taken completely wrong.   
But she would have to tread carefully. Tarou and Ukyou were obviously dangerous and had nothing against doing some _very_ bad things to a helpless girl if they could catch her alone. Maybe the two were serial killers or something. Normal enough on the outside, but in reality... It was enough to make even her feel a twinge of fear. She would have to tread _very_ carefully for the next few days.   
Strangely enough, the option of backing down never occurred to her for a moment. She was Nabiki Tendou, and that meant nobody showed her up. She might not be a martial artist, but she had yet to find anyone in Furinken who would rather deal with her over her younger sister. Oh yes, she had power and furthermore, she knew how to manage it. Tarou was a special case, she had to admit. A powerful martial artist, yet surprisingly intelligent. With a more-than-healthy dose of cunning mixed in. But that only delayed the inevitable. He would learn the hard way who the top-dog around here was.   
She would make sure of it. 


	9. Public Unrelations II

Tarou ½   
By Intrasonic 

Chapter 8: Public Unrelations II 

"I'll kill her!"   
"I thought she was the one we're fighting this match for! So where is she?"   
Tarou nodded, restraining his temper. "She _is_. I don't know where Jasmine is, but she'll feel some pain for this!"   
Ukyou looked skyward in disgust. "She knew we were going to practice here during lunch, right?"   
"She knew. I double-checked on the way to school with her."   
"So where else could she be?"   
"I have no idea," Tarou admitted sourly. He didn't. He had already made things clear to Ranma that it would be smart to minimize his exposure to the city as a girl, to avoid any slip-ups that might give away his real identity. Ranma had agreed too. So where could he be now?   
"Well, forget about her, then. You guys aren't going to win by skill anyhow. Any ideas for cheating yet?"   
Tarou shrugged, his mind returning to the important issue. "That depends on how much grey area we have to work with in the rules. Jasmine seems to want this to be a fair fight. But I think I might be able to argue that all the skaters don't have to be   
wearing ice skates. They might consider cleats an acceptable compromise."   
Ukyou beamed. "Perfect! If you don't have to worry about slipping, you can just pound them as soon as they get close!"   
"Exactly. But that might not get by the judges. I'm going to see what I can get in the way of sneezing powder. I'll claim to be some kind of Chinese ninja and that should go over just fine."   
"Sounds fine. I was thinking about something myself. You know how to use explosives?"   
Tarou chuckled. "I'd be happy to learn. I'm sure 'Chinese ninjas' use explosives sometimes, right?"   
She nodded. "Exactly. I met a guy a few years back and learned a few things. I never did learn how to incorporate explosives into my small spatulas, but this will be just fine. These things ought to help out some. Keep thinking, though. We need lots of ideas."   
Tarou brushed aside the topic for the moment. "I was talking with _darling_ Nabiki last night. Seems you two had a little run in. Care to tell me your side of the story?"   
Ukyou snickered. "What can I say? I threatened to hurt her and poked her in a place a guy shouldn't poke a girl. Big deal."   
Tarou shrugged. "Exactly what she told me."   
"So what'd you tell her?"   
"I told her to be careful. I told you were _really_ familiar with the female body and had always been really casual about things like naked girls."   
Ukyou burst out laughing at that. "Isn't that the truth?" 

***************** 

Nabiki stifled a squeak of horror as she saw Ukyou burst out laughing. And she'd thought Tarou had been exaggerating about Ukyou. But seeing Ukyou openly agree like that...   
Quieter than she'd _ever_ crept before, she eased out of her hiding spot and made all tracks for Furinken High again. In the back of her mind, she also wondered where Jasmine might be. Were there going to be a few problems for the upcoming skating match? She hoped so. Maybe she should make sure. She'd be even more careful now not to be caught. But as long as they couldn't pin the crimes on her, she should be safe. She was only an annoyance to Tarou and Ukyou right now. At least, she hoped that was all they considered her. This would _not_ be a good time to get labeled as a _threat_.   
She smiled grimly. I was good to flex a few hidden muscles of her own. It had been awhile since anyone had ever given her cause to. Actually, this might just be the most interesting opponent she'd had in her life. She would be sure to make a good showing. 

***************** 

It was with a casual demeanor that Ranma walked through the gates of St. Hebereke. A girl form would make him somewhat inconspicuous at an all-girl's school, he had gambled. It seemed to be paying off, so far. Aside from a few muttered greetings, she hadn't been challenged at all.   
She deftly eased herself close to one of the young ladies. "Excuse me?"   
"Yes?"   
"Could you tell me where the Rhythmic Gymnastics Team practices?"   
"Just over in the gym. They're practising right now, actually. Did you want to watch?"   
Ranma was already sprinting towards the aforementioned building. She hadn't expected to actually catch a practice, but it looked like she was in luck. She was sure that Tarou would forgive one missed practice. It was for a good cause, after all.   
The doors were wide open, so she invited himself in, taking up residence against an inconspicuous wall to observe the happenings in the gym. A large collection of leotard clad girls were practising with an assortment of batons, ribbons and hoops. With a critical eye, Ranma began to analyse their routines. 

***************** 

"Hey, Akane!"   
Akane smiled as she saw a member from Furinken's Rhythmic Gymnastics team come running towards her. "Hi Yuki. What's new?"   
Yuki smiled too. "I just wanted to thank you for filling in for the team this time. You're still up for it?"   
Akane forced a smile. "Of course. I'm a martial artist. I couldn't refuse a challenge like that, could I?"   
"Of course not. Is there anything, we can help you with? I've never really seen you use weapons before..."   
"Actually, Jasmine was giving me a few pointers last night. She's seen the style before, she says." She briefly looked thoughtful. "Did you think to ask her?"   
Yuki nodded reluctantly. "We were going to, but you remember how she reacted when the teacher tried to get her to wear a leotard during gym class?"   
Akane smiled weakly. Jasmine had expressed some _extremely_ strong feelings about wearing a leotard during gym class. The teacher had been willing to forgo it in the end, mainly on account that Jasmine was a more capable gymnast in her Chinese style of dressing than the rest of the class in their leotards put together.   
"Yeah," she agreed, "I guess they wouldn't let her compete in street clothing, would they?"   
"Besides, she's already got a tournament that day, remember?"   
"Oh yes, I forgot," Akane agreed. "Well, don't worry. I'll show those Hebereke High cheaters that Furinken doesn't need to cheat to win!"   
"We can't thank you enough," Yuki repeated emphatically. "You're a lifesaver!"   
Akane smiled again. "Don't mention it. Anytime."   
A piercing laugh cut through the moment, every head in the schoolyard immediately turning to face the source.   
"Where is the commoner named Akane Tendou?"   
Yuki paled. "Oh no!" 

****************** 

Ranma yawned as she watched the team go through another routine. If this kept up, she'd fall asleep. She had come firstly to see how good of an opponent Akane could expect for her match, but at this rate, Akane would win easily. The routines being done were even simpler than what she had taught to Akane last night. And that was with her limited knowledge of the style. If this was all Akane had to worry about...   
"You're new to the school, aren't you?"   
Ranma turned to face the question. "Uh... yeah, you could say that."   
The girl smiled. "Thought so. Still waiting for your uniform to get here, hmm? You thinking of joining the team?"   
Ranma thought quickly how to make use of this. "Well... I'd like to learn more about the style, yeah. Who's the captain?"   
The girl smiled. "Oh, Kodachi isn't here today. She's the real fighter in the group. The rest wouldn't stand a chance against her if they all attacked together, I hear."   
Ranma's eyes narrowed. So that was the reason. Kodachi would undoubtedly be the opponent Akane would face. So she would have to find this 'Kodachi'. "Where can I find her?"   
"I don't know. She takes off whenever she feels like it. Maybe the team would know."   
"Thanks," she acknowledged, immediately heading towards the line up behind a saddle-horse.   
"Oh! You shouldn't do that!"   
"Why not?"   
"You might get hit by accident-"   
Ranma casually leaned sideways as a stray baton hurtled past her. "Nah, I'll be careful."   
The girl stared in disbelief. "Uh... yes, of course."   
"Watch it!" one of the gymnast yelled.   
Ranma smiled disarmingly, or what she thought looked disarmingly, at any rate. "Sorry. I was wondering if anyone knew where Kodachi was?"   
They looked at her suspiciously. "Why do you want to see her?"   
"Uh... I'm new here and wanted to join the team," Ranma offered quickly.   
"She's out at Furinken to check out their opponent for the upcoming tournament. You'll have to wait until she gets back from injuring the girl..."   
"WHAT!?!"   
"Don't look so surprised. She does it all the time."   
Another gymnast had turned to see the commotion. "Hey... I recognize you! You're that red-head from Furinken High!"   
Ranma grinned weakly as every weapon in the gym was immediately pointed at her. She had just worn out her welcome, it seemed. "Hehehe...Oh well. Catch ya later!" 

*************** 

Akane resisted the urge to cover her ears as the terrible scream echoed across the schoolyard. "Who is she?" she hissed to Yuki.   
"That's Kodachi," the girl replied nervously. "She's the captain of St. Hebereke's gymnastics team. She must have gotten suspicious after we didn't withdraw from the tournament."   
"So she's looking for me, is she?"   
"Be careful. She's dangerous!"   
Akane wasn't even listening as she strode out into the yard to face her opponent. Kodachi was dressed in school clothing that clearly identified her as coming from St. Hebereke. The girl's black hair was done up in a one sided ponytail that gave her a   
somewhat deranged look. In her hands was a long gymnastics ribbon. "I'm Akane Tendou. What do you want?"   
The girl laughed again. "Why, I was merely coming to see who the fool was who dared challenge the Black Rose of St. Hebereke..."   
"Black Rose?"   
"But of course. Just as the black rose stands alone among its own, so do I stand alone among such commoners around me! I possess both the rose's beauty... and it's thorns!!!"   
Akane leapt backwards as the ribbon lashed out at where she had been a moment ago. "What do you think you're doing?" she demanded.   
"I believe in fighting in all fairness. Before the match!"   
Akane leapt away again, barely dodging the ribbon. "That's ridiculous!" she snapped.   
"Defend yourself, Akane Tendou!" Kodachi laughed, lashing out again.   
Akane rolled back, her temper beginning to fray. She had a feeling that Kodachi was holding back even now, which was bad news. Kodachi was fast, much faster than she was. And she'd learned nothing about how to use that ribbon yet. She'd have to make due with what she knew. "You want to fight!" she growled. "I'll give you a fight!" 

***************** 

"So what do we do to Jasmine when we find her?"   
Tarou snorted. "Beat the crap out of her, of course. Why don't you pretend she's Ranma?"   
Ukyou chuckled. "You need her for the ice match, don't you? She won't recover fast enough if I did that!" Her face grew grim. "Hey, Tarou?"   
"Yes?"   
"If you hadn't figured it out yet, I've dealt with Genma."   
"I saw that much."   
"He said that Ranma hadn't even realized I was a guy back then. He never even realized that the yattai was stolen. He never knew about the engagement."   
Tarou chuckled. "Imagine that."   
"I'm serious. Genma, the worthless bastard who ruined my life, _not_ trying to pin the blame on his son. Should I believe that? Maybe Ranma... isn't a bad guy after all. And all the girls say he's to die for. And technically, we're engaged..."   
Tarou's brow furrowed. Just _wonderful_. This was something that would have to be dealt with quickly. "I see what you're saying."   
"So what should I do?"   
"If you want my honest opinion?"   
She nodded sombrely.   
"I think you should forget about him. I think Genma was telling the truth. To be honest, Ranma's clueless enough to not have understood anything. He's still a moron, if you ask me. Sure, the girls all think he's cute. But he puts his foot in his mouth at every opportunity and can't take a hint unless you hit him over the head with it. I'm sure some girl will be very happy with him, but..."   
Tarou hesitated briefly, as though he was trying to put his thoughts together. "Look, Ukyou. I really don't think you should bother with him. He's a good guy, but he's got nothing but air between his ears. All he cares about is martial arts. Even his table   
manners suck. You want to go marry a guy like that? You've still got time to find a better guy, right? You should take things slowly. Clear out the business with Genma and Ranma, _then_ start worrying about your love life, right? And you've got a new business to worry about too, right?"   
Ukyou smirked. "Maybe you're right. I may have wasted my childhood chasing after him, but that doesn't mean I have to waste the rest of my life married to him. I'm still young. No sense in rushing everything. I'll find another guy when I'm good and ready!"   
"That's the spirit," Tarou agreed with a cheerful smile. That had been easy enough. And he hadn't even had to lie about Ranma either!   
"Hey, who's that?" Ukyou asked, pointing up ahead.   
Tarou squinted to make out the figure that was running towards them now. "Hmm... that's Yuki, I think."   
The aforementioned girl came to a stop in front of them. "You... have to get back. Someone from St. Hebereke is fighting with Akane Tendou!"   
Tarou raised an eyebrow. "Why?"   
"Akane's in a match in two days! Kodachi, her competitor is trying to cripple her before the match!"   
A sigh. "Stupid girl."   
"Who?" Ukyou muttered. "Akane or Kodachi?"   
Tarou left the question unanswered as he broke into a sprint towards the school. Sometimes he hated his job. Of course, maybe he'd get lucky and get to pound some sense into the intruder. That would be fun.   
Ukyou and Yuki watched Tarou sprint off.   
"Such devotion to his duty!" Yuki breathed in admiration.   
"Um, right," Ukyou agreed. "Isn't that Tarou for you?"   
Yuki stopped stared at Tarou's fading form, affixing her gaze onto the other gorgeous guy she had run into. "S-so... fancy meeting you here, Ukyou..."   
Ukyou groaned mentally. "Imagine that."   
"So how are you enjoying Furinken so far?"   
"It's never dull, I'll say that much. Are things always like this?"   
"Kind of, I guess. We get used to it."   
"Fine with me, I guess."   
"So how long until your restaurant opens?"   
"My restaurant?"   
"Yeah! All the girls- I mean, students are talking about it! We can't wait to... see a student who actually has his own business."   
_Suuuure_. "I hope to open the shop within a week, actually," she replied cheerfully. She smiled in earnest. That would be a landmark for her, she was positive. She would put this revenge business behind her forever and become a successful restaurant owner and average student. Maybe she'd even ditch those bandages and start dressing like a girl again. 

***************** 

By the time Tarou had reached the schoolyard, the fight was in full form. Akane and Kodachi, the girl from St. Hebereke, were dancing across the schoolyard. Unfortunately, the fight was clearly in Kodachi's favour. Akane's brute strength oriented, unarmed style of fighting was only proving moderately effective against Kodachi's long-ranged weapons and greater speed.   
Tarou cleared his throat loudly, getting everyone's attention except for the combatants.   
"HEY!!!"   
Even the two combatants halted their fight as another yell cut through the commotion. A blur in Chinese clothes rocketed through the air, touching down near the two fighters.   
"Jasmine..." Akane whispered in surprise.   
"Who do you think you are?" Kodachi demanded.   
Ranma deftly placed herself between the two fighters, facing Kodachi. "You want to fight someone, I'll take you on any day!"   
Tarou found himself at a loss. Akane might not like someone interfering with her fights, even if she _was_ getting her butt kicked. But it was good that Ranma was trying to protect Akane. Should he let things keep going? Or step in to stop everything?   
Kodachi laughed again, prompting another round of ear-covering. "You think to challenge the Black Rose? I shall teach you the foolishness of your actions, you insolent wench!"   
"Bring it on!" Ranma invited daringly. This was the perfect way to learn some new techniques, she figured.   
**CLANG**   
Kodachi's eyes went glassy as Ukyou re-sheathed her spatula. Finally she slumped to the ground. A resounding cheer went up from the female population of the school.   
"Honestly," Ukyou muttered disgustedly, stepping over the fallen body. "Could hear that stupid laugh right down the street!"   
"Ukyou..." Ranma whispered in surprise.   
**CLANG**   
"Ow," Ranma croaked.   
"That's for missing practice," Ukyou growled.   
"I was busy," Ranma managed to gasp out.   
"Well, you'd better not be busy again," Tarou snarled. "Ukyou and I had a very productive practice session. Without _you_! Miss another and I'll pound you into the dirt, got it?"   
"I was busy," she muttered, more defiantly.   
"WHERE IS SHE!?!"   
"Uh oh," Ranma muttered. "They found me."   
Akane stared in disbelief, finally realizing that her fight had been interrupted. A huge assortment of leotard clad gymnasts were glaring daggers at Ranma. And they were all from St. Hebereke, she judged. "What did you do, Jasmine?"   
"You'll pay for spying on us!" the foremost gymnast snarled.   
Ranma smiled weakly as Tarou and Ukyou began to glare disgustedly at her.   
"You cut practice to watch them practice _gymnastics_?!" Ukyou exclaimed in disbelief.   
"Well, it's not what it looks like..."   
"IT'S HIM!!!" one of the gymnasts exclaimed, pointing at Ukyou.   
"Oh no," Ukyou whispered in horror. "Not them again!"   
"It's our dream guy!" another gymnast breathed.   
Tarou chuckled. "Why Ukyou, I never knew you were such a flirt!"   
**CLANG**   
"Ow," Tarou croaked.   
"Jackass," Ukyou smirked, re-sheathing her spatula again.   
The gymnasts were advancing towards her now.   
"Let's get him!"   
"We'll tie him up better this time!"   
"Oh crap," Ukyou breathed, backing off.   
This exchange had not gone unnoticed by the Furinken population.   
"They're trying to steal our darling Ukyou!"   
"They can't have him! They can find their own hunk!" 

***************** 

Half an hour later, Tarou finally slumped into his chair, somewhat exhausted. This city was afflicted with a _severe_ case of stupidity, he was certain. How else could you explain a schoolyard brawl between girls over the affections of one guy? Especially considering that the 'guy' was actually a girl. It had taken literally forever to break up the fight and send the gymnasts home with the still unconscious Kodachi.   
Once again, things were getting chaotic. Ranma had obviously taken up the mantle of Akane's gymnastic's trainer. He had even gone to St. Hebereke to learn some techniques on her behalf. That was good and bad. Missing practice was the bad part. But perhaps he should encourage that kind of devotion... all the better to get Ranma and Akane together as a couple. As for the skating match that was rapidly approaching... perhaps he would have to try an alternate plan.   
He smiled grimly. Yes, perhaps an alternate plan would be the best thing. After all, the match didn't matter as much anymore. The Dragon's Whisker was probably stolen, which meant that he didn't have as much riding on the match now. The whereabouts were still a mystery, but he would solve that soon enough, he was certain. 

***************** 

Kodachi woke up with a severe headache. To put it mildly. She had no idea what had hit her so hard, but she would be on her guard next time she went to Furinken High.   
"Take it easy, captain. You've got a nasty bump."   
"Those Furinken cheaters backstabbed you."   
"And they stole darling Ukyou too!"   
She lay back down on her pillow, her pride somewhat regained. Backstabbing made sense. She was Kodachi Kunou, the Black Rose of St. Hebereke. Nothing less than an attack from behind could fell one such as herself. She would face Akane Tendou two days from now, and she would set the record straight, once and for all. And while she was at it, she would teach that redhead a lesson too. 

***************** 

Akane lashed out with her right hand, fingers outstretched and tensed. The target snaked towards her like it had a mind of its own. At the last moment, she twisted sideways and brought her hand down on the target.   
"Ouch!" she exclaimed, the ribbon nicking her hand.   
Ranma was instantly at her side. "Are you okay?" she asked nervously.   
Akane sighed inwardly. This had been going on for half an hour now. After deciding that Akane's expertise with batons was satisfactory, Jasmine had decided to move on to teaching her how to use the ribbon. This wasn't nearly as straight forwards as the batons were.   
To begin with, Akane had to learn how to catch an opponent's ribbon. It was much harder than it looked. Jasmine seemed to have no trouble doing it, but Akane could never seem to grab it the right way. And she would invariably cut her hand in the   
process. Which would immediately reduce Jasmine to a state of panic about her well-being. Like now.   
"I'm fine, Jasmine," she assured her. "I can't be afraid of a little cut if I want to win the match in two days, can I?"   
"I... I guess not," the redhead admitted reluctantly.   
Akane forced a smile. Inwardly, she was beginning to realize that perhaps things had gone too far as it was. Jasmine was clearly _too_ concerned for her well-being. "Right. If I break a leg, you can start worrying about me, okay? But if I'm going to win in two days, I have to take whatever comes at me."   
"Well... alright."   
"Again," Akane demanded, getting into a combat stance again.   
Ranma nodded. "Right. Remember, you have to twist the ribbon _around_ your fingers to break the cutting edge. Otherwise you get cut, right?"   
Akane nodded briefly. "Bring it on!" 

****************** 

From around the corner, Nabiki watched the ensuing match with a critical eye. No doubt about it, Jasmine was clearly trying to get closer to Akane. She almost pitied her poor younger sister. But just the same, that devotion might prove useful in other ways. Surely Jasmine would know a few things about Tarou...   
A hand clamped down forcefully on her shoulder, making her gasp in shock. "Why, Nabiki-darling," Tarou's voice rasped. "Whatever are you doing _here_?"   
Nabiki swallowed, forcing her body to regain control and face Tarou. "Why, Tarou, fancy meeting you here."   
He smiled. "_Yes_, fancy meeting me here. Now I'm faced with an interesting choice. Should I get angry with you because you were spying on Jasmine? Or should give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you were merely spying on your own sister? Which is it, I wonder?"   
"Who can say?" she replied, more easily now. Verbal bantering was more her field of expertise, and it felt good to be returning to that safe ground.   
Tarou chuckled evilly. "Oh, let me tell you, Nabiki-darling. _I_ can say. And you can't do a thing about it. I can give you a fairly big list of people over in China who crossed me for one thing or another. You'll find they all have one thing in common -   
they're six feet under ground and not about to cross me ever again..."   
"Oh really?" she inquired, looking as confident as she was able.   
"Yes, really. You seem like a smart girl, Nabiki-darling. Unlike the rest of this city. So do yourself a favor and ask yourself whether it's a smart thing to be messing with a martial artist. You've lived with your sister long enough to figure out that martial artists can be dangerous. Thing is, most of them have this problem with hurting helpless people. I don't. You're not helpless at all. Don't delude yourself. Besides, I know plenty of ways to hurt you without actually doing it physically."   
He was bluffing now, Nabiki deduced. She'd done this approach often enough. A little mystery that was designed to let the enemy fill in the blanks with their own fears. The trouble was, she knew this method and wasn't about to be fooled by it.   
As quickly as they had disappeared, she re-gathered her wits. This little game had gone on long enough. She pushed Tarou back a step. "Listen here, Tarou-baby. You're getting a little annoying. You talk a nice game. But no more, I'm afraid. I run things around here, whether everybody admits it or even realizes it. You'll just have to get used to that, I'm afraid. I don't like mysterious people, and you're mysterious right now. Either you start talking or I start fighting. Is that understood?"   
Tarou looked at her incredulously. Finally he shrugged. "Well, if you're _sure_ you want to keep fighting..."   
"Trust me," she stated firmly. "I haven't even begun to start fighting yet. Cross me again and I'll make you wish you'd never left China."   
He turned away, chuckling evilly. "I'm busy with a skating match now, Nabiki-darling. But after that... feel free to try and make good on that promise."   
"Say," she continued casually. "Who's 'The Master'?"   
Tarou froze, slowly turning back to face her. "It would seem that you've been listening when you shouldn't have. I'm afraid you just crossed the line..."   
"Well?" she asked tauntingly. "Who is it?"   
She never even saw Tarou move. One moment, he was ten feet away. The next, he was right next to her, his fist pressing against her neck.   
"What are you two doing?"   
Both turned to face Akane and Ranma, who were staring at the two in surprise.   
"What are you doing, Tarou?" Akane asked, finally noticing his fist.   
Nabiki smirked. "Yes, Tarou-baby. What _are_ you doing?"   
Tarou glared at her, withdrawing his fist and starting away. "I mean, Nabiki. You leave Jasmine alone or you'll deal with me."   
Nabiki's jaw dropped. "Now wait a minute here, you little-"   
"Nabiki!"   
Nabiki froze as Akane cornered her. "What was that all about?" Akane demanded angrily.   
"I don't know what he's talking about!" she retorted disgustedly.   
"I'm not blind, you know," Akane snapped. "I've seen the way you've been trying to get information on Tarou at school. You might be my sister, but I'm not going to let you harass him or Jasmine!"   
"I'm not doing that!"   
"Everybody knows you are! If you even _think_ about trying to get photos of Jasmine like you did with me that one time, you'll deal with me before Tarou even gets to you!"   
"I wasn't-" Nabiki cut herself off. This was going nowhere in her favour. Tarou had won this minor fight. She would repay the favour another time. 

***************** 

"Don't worry about her," Akane said comfortingly.   
Ranma nodded wordlessly. It was amazing how quickly Akane had jumped to her defence a moment ago. As for why Tarou and Nabiki were at such odds, he didn't really care much. Both were a real pain in their own unique ways as far as he was concerned. Tarou was barely in his good graces on account of the fact that he was helping regain the Dragon's Whisker.   
"She's like that sometimes," Akane was saying, "but don't worry. I won't let her get away with that sort of garbage. Can you believe she actually sold pictures of me working out to Kunou?"   
Ranma's expression was suitably displeased. Inwardly, she wondered why Kunou would want photos of a tomboyish girl like Akane. That being the case, Kunou was probably dying for some photos of 'Jasmine' right now. "That's pretty bad," she agreed.   
Akane brushed it off. "Anyway, don't worry about her. You still up for more practising?"   
"Sure!"   
"Attack me again," Akane ordered. "I feel like I'm going to do it this time..."   
Wordlessly, Ranma lashed out with the ribbon, sending it in a wide arc targeted to hit Akane from the left.   
Akane lunged forwards, her face one of studious concentration. Spinning sideways, she let the ribbon pass by, only inches in front of her face. At the same time, her left hand plunged down on the ribbon. At the last moment, she spread her fingers, letting   
two of them pass over the ribbon, the other two passing below. With a twist of her hand, the ribbon was wrapped tightly around her hand.   
"I did it!" she exclaimed, hardly believing it herself.   
Ranma was smiling too. "That was good-"   
Still caught up in the exhilaration, Akane was still moving. With a grunt, she yanked on her end of the ribbon. With a lurch, Ranma found himself sailing through the air and smacking into the wall face-first.   
"Ugh," was all she could manage at first.   
Akane gulped. "Oops. Are you okay, Jasmine?"   
Ranma shook her head and stood up, still smiling. "I'm fine. If you can do that to Kodachi..."   
Akane smiled. "I'll work on that. You should get some rest, shouldn't you?"   
"Nah, I'm fine," Ranma insisted quickly. "You want to keep practising?"   
Akane swallowed as she tried to decide how to answer that. She was a little tired, to be honest. And she needed to try and put her plan into effect for keeping Jasmine at a distance. She certainly liked the redhead, but not _that_ way. Now how was she to change the topic a little?   
"Uh, I think I need a quick break," she replied, sitting down against the edge of the dojo.   
"No prob."   
"You're a great trainer, Jasmine," Akane offered.   
The redhead flushed. "Uh... thanks. I've never really taught anybody before."   
"No, seriously. I'd have been sunk without you teaching me like you have. You're a really good martial artist."   
"I've... been practising most of my life."   
"I'll say. I'll bet you're even better than Ranma."   
Ranma coughed. "Uh... I don't know about that..."   
Akane smiled faintly. Perfect. "Oh? You know Ranma?"   
"Uh... I've... met him before, yeah."   
"He's gone on some training trip right now. Actually, he left a day or so before you came to Furinken."   
"Oh... really?"   
"He's a really good martial artist too. He's been living here with his father."   
Ranma swallowed. Was she implying anything? Had Akane somehow learned about Jusenkyou? What was she getting at? Act calm, act casual... "No kidding?"   
Akane nodded. "His father and mine made this agreement before we were born that our families would marry each other. Since he's an only child, he has to marry either me or one of my sisters."   
"I... guess that must be lousy."   
Time to close the trap, Akane decided, taking a deep breath. "I don't know about that."   
Ranma coughed again.   
Akane continued on relentlessly. "I mean, it's not that bad of a match. He likes martial arts as much as I do. And if you've met him, even you'd have to admit that he's really cute..."   
Now Ranma was doing her best to choke in silence. She finally got control of herself. "You... really think so?"   
Akane put on her most cheerful expression. "Seriously, Jasmine. He's a rough talker, kind of like you, but he doesn't chase after me like all those pervert guys at school. He's a nice guy, even if he _did_ take off for a week without any warning."   
"I... see."   
"I don't know him very well," Akane admitted sheepishly, "but I've only known him a week, right? But I think him and I would get along really well."   
"I... see," Ranma agreed, a little stunned.   
Akane skipped to her feet. "Anyway, want to keep practising?" 

***************** 

It was an hour later that Akane sank into the hot tub, relishing the soothing effect the hot water had on her aching body. Jasmine had been quick enough to decline an offer of a bath, citing something about only having cold baths or something like that. Akane wasn't stupid enough to believe that, though. The conversation had clearly rattled Jasmine. The second half of the practice, while still productive, had involved a clearly _very_ distracted Jasmine.   
So had it been necessary? Akane was certain it had. This would send a clear, if innocent message that Akane was clearly interested only in men. She didn't like having to hurt the redhead like that, but there really hadn't been any option. A night's sleep would no doubt give the redhead a chance to sort out her feelings. And if worse came to worse, she could talk things over with Tarou, couldn't she? Although they were obviously not romantically attached, the two were clearly close confidants with each other. Tarou had even gone so far as to face off with Nabiki, the acknowledged Queen of Furinken High. He could clearly be trusted to provide sympathetic support to Jasmine at this time. Jasmine would be okay, she decided.   
Akane sunk even further into the tub, a satisfied smile on her face. She had definitely done the best thing for everybody. To be quite honest, she could hardly believe how smoothly she had pulled it all off. 

***************** 

At the same time, both Tarou and Ranma were settling down to sleep.   
"Jasmine?"   
Ranma looked at Tarou curiously, wondering why he was bothering to use the assumed name when there was no one else around. "Yeah?"   
The Chinese boy gave her a sharp look. "We seem to have some problems with priorities To be exact, you seem to think playing the part of a spy is more important than practising for ice skating."   
"It was a one-time thing!" Ranma protested.   
"You didn't even warn me, Fem-boy! Lucky for you, Ukyou and I got some good planning done without you and your stupid ideas of 'fair fights'."   
"Now look here, Tarou..."   
"No, you look here, Jasmine! I don't suppose it occurred to your puny little mind that you don't have a prayer of out-skating the Golden Pair! We might be better fighters, but they're far better skaters. Our only chance is to improvise."   
"Improvise! Hah! You mean 'Cheat'!"   
"How can you practice the Anything-Goes Style of fighting and call it cheating? They threw the challenge! They named the place! They insisted on skates! I think it's only fair that they be willing to let us use our own fighting styles. If our styles use some... _interesting_ methods of fighting, well, tough luck for them!"   
"I ain't cheating!"   
Tarou smiled kindly. "I can live with that. Why don't we make a deal? You don't cheat, okay. But if you're going to keep training Akane like this... QUIT TRYING TO STOP ME!!!"   
Ranma eyed him levelly. "What are you talkin' about?"   
"Everything! You didn't even like Ukyou's idea about using explosives! Has it occurred to you that if you that one little bomb could win the match easily?"   
"That's not martial arts!"   
Tarou shrugged. "It's called 'winning'. Your way is called 'losing'. Just because _you're_ so good at it..."   
Ranma was on her feet now. "Hah! I never lose! The day I do is-"   
"-in two days if you don't lighten up! All I'm saying is that you can do whatever the hell you want. Just quit screwing with what I want to do! I feel like kicking a pair of Golden asses, so don't get in my way! Unless you feel like having cold baths the rest of your life!!!"   
_That_ subdued Ranma somewhat. "I still don't think it's right."   
"That's okay. I think it's right enough for both of us. Now get some sleep! I'm going to go over the rules and see how many loopholes I can find." 

****************** 

Nabiki sighed as she set the headphones down on the desk. There no longer any doubt in her mind that Tarou suspected her of eavesdropping or bugging the house. She'd had yet to find any bugs removed, including the one in his room. But the way he always kept his conversation guarded and somewhat ambiguous...   
He knew. But he couldn't stop her forever. Eventually she would force him into a corner and make him pay for all the trouble he'd been. But she had a few small things to add to her collection of facts on Tarou and incidently, Jasmine.   
Firstly, Jasmine seemed to practice the Anything-Goes style of fighting. Interesting. Nabiki was no expert on martial arts, but she'd grown up listening to her father frequently boast about how only _two_ families practised the Anything-Goes style.   
Maybe Jasmine was an anomaly. But she had possibly had some contact with either her family or the Saotomes. Perhaps that lead would yield some information.   
Secondly, Tarou seemed to expert a few loopholes in the rules. Perhaps she should make sure he couldn't find any. She had to admit, he was taking this match seriously. Explosives? Who knew what else he might try? He was clearly a fighter who fought to win.   
She scratched her head. Maybe she was pandering to him too much. Admittedly, she had little option but to wait for him to tip his hand. But surely there was some way to get some information on him? He had claimed to have been in numerous disputes over in China. Perhaps some newspaper had gotten some information on him. Nabiki was good at digging up information, and knew some people who were even better. Perhaps she should start doing some digging. 


	10. T'was the Night Before...

Tarou 1/2   
By Intrasonic 

Chapter 9: T'was The Night Before... 

"You're getting distracted, chief. We're five days behind on debt collection!"   
Nabiki gave an irritated look towards one of her fellow workers. "We'll get caught up soon enough. But we can't afford to have a loose cannon like Tarou walking around. Until we know his agenda, there's no telling when he might try to interfere with our business dealings."   
"I can't believe he's lasted this long."   
"Not much longer," Nabiki informed her. "I'm pulling a few wild cards out. China is a big place. But a Japanese name like Tarou can't be very common, even there. I should have no trouble pulling up a few records on him."   
"We're short on bet-takers too. We need to cover both the skating match and the Rhythmic gymnastic tournaments."   
"I'll be at the skating match," Nabiki informed them.   
"What kind of odds should we be setting? Every one figures on Kodachi beating your sister. No one's sure what to make of the skating match."   
"Spread the word that Tarou's going to lose."   
"You really think he'll win?"   
Nabiki smiled as she headed out of the room. "Somehow, I have a hunch that he will. But that's okay. I'm just going to make him show a few secrets to me in the process."   
After they were certain their leader was out of earshot, the two girls looked worriedly at each other. "I don't like this," the first whispered.   
"Tell me about it. Chief's obsessing over this, I swear! I don't understand why she doesn't just work out a contract or something with him. Tarou seems like a reasonable person. Anybody that gorgeous can't be _that_ bad."   
"If something doesn't go our way with Tarou soon, we're going to be losing money left and right! Even more than we already are!"   
"Shhh... don't worry about it. If it becomes a serious problem, we'll take action. Chief's never let us down before. We'll give her a chance. For now." 

****************** 

The young lady eyed Nabiki curiously. "You want me to find information on a guy named Tarou? And you're not even sure if that's his real name?"   
Nabiki shrugged. "I've given you everything I've got. Cotton Fist fighting style. He wears some pantyhose around his waist all the time. He's always wearing a water bottle, but never uses it for anything. He's always wears that scaled clothing and the cloak. Check out everything you can. Investigate the history of his fighting style. See if anything matches any tribal customs. See about the earrings he wears. I don't care what you have to check, but I want some background on him."   
The young lady nodded. "That's my job, isn't it?"   
"Exactly. And while you're at it, I also want anything you can find about something called the 'Dragon's Whisker'. He's going to a lot of trouble to retrieve something called by that name."   
"I'll look into that too. You haven't forgotten your part of the deal."   
"Don't worry. You'll be paid the agreed price. Just get me the information." 

****************** 

The man eyed Nabiki curiously. "You want to change the rules? Do you have any idea what you're asking?"   
Nabiki shrugged. "Nothing unreasonable. I've gotten word that perhaps some rather extreme measures are going to be taken. You wouldn't want the entire rink to be destroyed, would you?"   
"Of course not, but I hardly see-"   
Nabiki cut him off quickly. "I want you to add a few rules. Nothing major. The first rule is that nothing explosive can be used."   
"_Explosive_?!"   
"You heard me. The second rule is that the contestants _must_ wear skates at _all_ times."   
The man looked at her strangely. "And why would those rules be necessary?"   
Nabiki smiled sweetly. "No reason, sir. I just wanted the match to be in all fairness, hmm? Any problem with those rules?"   
"I... suppose not."   
"Didn't think so. Good day and thank-you very much." 

****************** 

Ranma eyed Akane curiously. "You're cutting class today?"   
Akane shrugged. "I need to put in a full day's practice. The match is tomorrow, so this is my last chance. My grades won't be ruined by missing one day, right?"   
"You'll get into trouble..."   
Akane shrugged again. Jasmine really was a little over-worried on her behalf. "Don't worry about it. I've always been a perfect student. Is one day going to hurt me?"   
"They might punish you by making you your lessons _tomorrow_."   
Both turned to face the approaching Tarou.   
Akane looked worried. "Oh. I never thought of that..."   
Tarou smirked. "On the other hand, since this is against someone who's attacked the school campus, security could be compromised if you don't defeat her. As disciplinary teacher of Furinken High, I authorize you to miss a day of school for practice."   
Akane beamed at him. "Really? Thanks! I guess I'll just turn around and go back home."   
Tarou and Ranma watched her run back home, the former with amusement, the latter with regret. Akane's running form soon disappeared around a corner.   
After a moment, Tarou glanced down at Ranma. "How well is she going to be practising without you to coach her?"   
"Not... too well," Ranma muttered.   
"So go ahead and help her out. I'll sign you out of class. Just remember - don't bitch about my cheating."   
Ranma looked hesitant for a moment. Tarou looked carefully. Would Ranma do it? Would Ranma actually place the success of Akane's match over the success of his own, when his manhood was at stake because of the Dragon's Whisker...?   
Finally the redhead nodded. "Fine. See ya later."   
Tarou chuckled as Ranma's form disappeared around the corner in a cloud of dust. Perfect. He would work on Akane once Ranma was male again, but Ranma was clearly already liking Akane. Despite setbacks, at least _something_ was going right for him. 

***************** 

Ukyou was less happy about the absence of half the team. "What do you _mean_ it's alright? Tarou, what the heck are you thinking? Either you plan on getting wet or you've gotten a little too overconfident!"   
"Neither," Tarou assured her calmly. "Jasmine's turning out to be dead-weight, understand? But something occurred to me recently. The Golden Pair's techniques will all be meant to work together on an opposing pair, correct? What if they were fighting an individual?"   
"Then they can turn _all_ the techniques on one person instead of splitting them up."   
"Possibly. I don't doubt that they can adapt. But they shouldn't be able to adapt instantly. Or completely. I'll take what I can get. And some explosives should go a long way to throwing off their patterns."   
"Exactly how are you going to convince her not to participate?"   
Tarou shrugged. "A little something slipped into her food will 'convince' her nicely. Nothing dangerous, just enough to knock her out for a day."   
Ukyou waved it aside. "Fine, fine. Screw Jasmine, then. So what's this I hear about her taking a liking to that Akane girl? Is that where she is now?"   
Tarou nodded. "Akane's got a Rhythmic Gymnastic's Tournament that she's going to get her butt whipped in. Unless Jasmine can do some serious teaching by tomorrow." 

****************** 

An earsplitting crack heralded the violent meeting of two weapons.   
Akane stumbled backwards, even as Ranma effortlessly used the impact to rebound away, landing lightly on her feet.   
"You can't fight it so much," Ranma informed her. "You gotta go with the impact and let the momentum work for you."   
Akane regained her footing, giving her trainer a blank look.   
Ranma lowered her gymnastic's club. "It's like fighting normally. If somebody throws a punch at you, what do you do?"   
"I don't know. I can block it. Dodge it. Knock it aside. Try to throw them..."   
Ranma nodded. "How do you throw them?"   
"You just grab the arm and twist them over your shoulder."   
"You let their weight help move them for you, right?"   
Akane slowly nodded. "But how do you do that with a club?"   
"When you hit something solid, your fist bounces off it. Same thing with anything. You gotta _let_ the attack bounce off and use it to your advantage." 

****************** 

"Hmph. Fine," Ukyou agreed. "If Jasmine doesn't care about this skating match, that's her business. I'd still like to know why this hair ribbon will bring Saotome out of hiding."   
"Complicated and none of your business," Tarou informed her sharply.   
"Be that way," Ukyou agreed. "Just don't break your word. Or I'll see that you're screwed over worse than that Nabiki girl could ever hope to do. You may be invincible in a fight, but there's other ways of fighting."   
Tarou shrugged to indicate that he felt less than threatened. "I know that. I can fight those ways too. Don't worry. I don't give my word very often, but when I do, I keep it."   
"I've heard it all before," Ukyou replied stonily. "And look what happened ten years ago. Give me proof and make both our lives easier."   
"You're really too suspicious," Tarou protested innocently. "I could have predicted that Genma would have backstabbed you. When I was trailing him, all I had to do was call him a thief and a liar and everyone knew who I was talking about. You just threw your brains out the window, that's all. You _and_ your father, I might note."   
"You little pantyhose wearing jackass! Take that back!"   
Tarou's face drew up in a scowl. "Just make me, you little spatula wearing-" He skipped backwards as Ukyou swung at him with her weapon. "-Hah!"   
"You can say whatever you want about me," Ukyou growled. "But I don't stand for people insulting my father!"   
He shrugged. "I say whatever I want. Don't tell me you're stupid enough to get worked up over a little insult?"   
"A _little_ insult!? You're one to talk, you pantyhose loving freak!"   
Tarou's face took on a ugly look. "You just watch your mouth. Ukyou. I'm NOT wearing this by choice, you understand me?"   
She smirked. "Then why are you wearing it, hmm? I've never heard any reason. I don't think anyone has. This city is so weird that nobody hardly looks twice at it, but there's go to be a real reason for you wearing a piece of lingerie all the time."   
Tarou's face was beginning to flush with anger.   
Ukyou saw that and her smile widened. "Care to enlighten anyone? Or maybe you really _are_ a pervert like some people think. Come to think of it, you never seem to stare at girls like all the other guys. You don't even blink around Jasmine. _I_ have a reason, right? But what about you? Or then again, you _do_ seem pretty good friends with Jasmine. Maybe you two have something in common?"   
"That's it," Tarou snarled, fingers curling up. "I don't have to listen to this. I don't have to listen to this at all..."   
"That's right," Ukyou taunted, spreading her arms wide. "Come on and hit me. I won't fight back. Get your jollies beating up on someone who won't hit back, why don't you? You seem like that type!"   
Tarou smirked. "Oh, I'll do that, alright." The fingers of his left hand wrapped around the thermos at his waist with obvious intent. "I'll _hit_ you alright. You'll be a spot on the pavement when I'm done with you!"   
"Oh, is that how it is, is it?" she retorted, brandishing her spatula again.   
Tarou began to take off the thermos's top, a rather wild look coming into his eyes. Finally, at the last moment, he relaxed, replacing the thermos at his belt. He glared hatefully at Ukyou, his eyes regaining their cold, icy look as he closed the distance   
between them.   
Ukyou returned his stare without blinking.   
Tarou fist abruptly lashed out, smashing through the wall scant inches from her head. Just as quickly, the fist withdrew.   
"You're not worth it, _girl_. I've got more important things to do here than skin you."   
"Is that so?" Ukyou shouted angrily.   
Tarou spun and began to walk away. "Yes."   
"Then be that way!" she shouted. "I'll find Ranma without your help, you miserable jackass!"   
"Don't expect me to complain," Tarou agreed. "You're no longer useful to me, anyway. Be grateful I'm letting you walk away without a full body cast." 

******************* 

Ukyou watched Tarou disappear around the corner, her face still wearing an expression of rage. It was only after she was certain he was gone that she sank to her knees.   
She had just tried to pick a fight with someone who was capable of turning into a twenty-foot tall monster capable of beating her up with its pinky finger. Tarou had just tossed her aside like a pile of used trash. She had just thrown away her big chance to find Ranma after all these years of suffering.   
"You... You jackass," she whispered in disbelief.   
As for who that comment was directed at, she wasn't sure. 

******************* 

Tarou stalked around the corner, barely able to regulate his walking speed to that which he normally used. He'd quite enough of that miserable, worthless, narrow-minded, cross-dressing bitch, he decided. Sticks and stones might break his bones, but words would never hurt him.   
Except _that_ word. One word. One miserable word that had ruined his life and continued to do so. He wasn't even sure why he hadn't broken a few important bones in Ukyou body. For what she'd said, she deserved that and more...   
Grudgingly, his more rational side reasserted its influence. He had almost gone and used his cursed form, it admonished harshly. What if someone else had seen? Such a foolish reason to give away his fighting edge. And even if he'd arranged or Ukyou to be strung up in a body cast, the question of her attacker would inevitably come up, which would mean more complications for him. And of course, Ranma would probably be angry about his childhood friend being hurt.   
He sucked in a deep breath, more at peace with himself. Yes, things were still going well, he told himself firmly. So what if he didn't have Ukyou on his side? The match was tomorrow, which meant that he had full benefit of her instruction, without the hindrance of his half of their bargain. He had a few ideas to use for the match tomorrow that should guarantee a solo victory, even without resorting to his cursed form.   
Yes, he told himself adamantly, things _were_ going well. Complications were a part of life, but in lieu of getting his name changed, they were nothing. He was... Tarou. His misnaming did not change who he was. He would rise above all the obstacles this insane city threw at him and emerge with a proper name.   
He chuckled to himself.   
Poor Ukyou, trying to use him for her own ends. He'd turned the tables on her in the end, taking what he needed and giving as little back as necessary.   
Cutthroat Nabiki, desperately trying to find his weak spot. Not realizing that he had none, save a soon-to-vanish name.   
Amusing Ranma, already beginning to fall for Akane, completely unmindful of the subtle intervention that had been occurring from the start.   
Tarou laughed again, heading back to the school. It was good to have things running so smoothly. 

***************** 

An hour later saw rise to a considerably more frustrated training pair.   
"Ouch."   
"Are you okay?"   
Akane sighed inwardly. She was going hurt Jasmine if the redhead asked that question one more time. The redhead's overprotectiveness was reaching new heights with this training. "I'm fine, Jasmine. I really am. I'm just... no good at this kind of stuff."   
Ranma swallowed. "That isn't true. I mean, it's all new to you. And I ain't very good at it either. I... think you're doing real good!"   
Akane got to her feet again, smiling bitterly. "You'd still beat me hands down, Jasmine. The team should have asked you to fight this match, not me!"   
"You can't say that! I mean, you're getting way better at this stuff. I just don't know anything else to teach you, that's all."   
"Don't try to argue, Jasmine," Akane sighed, slumping down against the wall of the dojo. "I can't even learn what you're teaching."   
"I just ain't a good teacher, that's all."   
Akane chuckled weakly. "Don't be so hard on yourself, Jasmine. You're the nicest person I've ever met. You should be practising for the ice skating match right now, not doing this."   
"Tarou said that... he would take care of that," Ranma replied.   
The two were silent for several moments after that, both lost in their own private worlds of thought.   
Akane finally broke the silence. "I wonder if Ranma will be back by tomorrow?"   
"Uh... I... don't know."   
"I'd like him to see me win that match. If I win it."   
"Of course you'll win it!"   
"You don't have to lie to me, Jasmine. I'm going to get trounced, the way things stand right now. I'm just not good enough for this sort of stuff."   
"You've still got all day to practice. And..." Ranma swallowed. "I'll bet that... Ranma will be back by tomorrow."   
"How do you know?"   
"Um... call it... a hunch. I'll... let him know about the match as soon as... I see him."   
Akane smiled. "Thanks, Jasmine. You really are a nice person. Do you know Ranma?"   
"Kinda... yeah."   
"So what do you think about him?"   
"I dunno..."   
Akane could see the gears working in Jasmine's mind. Jasmine was clearly torn between trying to say something nice about Ranma and trying to downplay any competition Ranma would offer...   
"Do you really think he'll be back tomorrow?" Akane continued.   
"You... want him to see you win, don't you?"   
Akane nodded. "I want to prove to him that I'm a martial artist too. Before he came along, I was the best martial artist in the city, you know. Everybody knew that. And then he came along and suddenly he's the best around. Tarou's even better, I guess, but he's older. Ranma's my age, and he's better. I hate the way he never takes me seriously. I really do."   
"I'm... sorry. Maybe... I can talk to him."   
"No, don't worry about it. Maybe if I win this match, he'll start taking me seriously."   
"I... think he will."   
Akane stood up, forcing herself to smile. "Right! So... I'll keep practising. I've still got a whole day left, right?"   
Ranma shook her head to clear it. "R-right."   
"So... anything else I can learn?"   
Ranma's spirits sunk. "Uh... actually, no. I don't really know anything else about Rhythmic Gymnastics..."   
Akane smiled weakly. "Well, we can just work on what you've taught me so far."   
It was at this point that the two were interrupted.   
Rather violently.   
To be more accurate, most of the south end of the dojo was torn off its frame, instantly reduced to a pile of scrap wood and toothpicks.   
Akane yelped and shielded her head with her arms. After a second, she realized that no wood had touched her. Cautiously looking up, she saw that Jasmine was already in a combat stance between her and the explosion. A pile of wood lay at her feet.   
Then the source of the explosion entered.   
"Whadaya think you're doing, Ryouga?!" Ranma demanded angrily.   
Ryouga looked coldly at the two of them, his bamboo umbrella pointed unwaveringly at Jasmine. "I've been through HELL to find this place! If Ranma won't come out to meet me, then I'll come in to meet him! Now where is he?"   
"What do you think you're doing?" Akane demanded angrily.   
"Chasing after Ranma Saotome," he replied. "Where is he?"   
Ranma swallowed. This was bad. Very bad. "Uh... maybe we should just calm down a moment everybody..."   
"WHERE'S RANMA!?!" Ryouga yelled. "I'm going to send him to hell for what he did! And anyone who gets in my way!"   
"Is that some kind of threat?" Akane retorted, her fists balling up.   
"Yes."   
"Uh, just wait a minute, Akane," Ranma protested quickly.   
Akane paid no mind. "You've got five seconds to leave before I make you leave!" she growled in Ryouga's direction.   
"You've got five seconds to show me Ranma!" he shot back, his umbrella now leveled in Akane's direction.   
Akane didn't even wait five seconds.   
Neither did Ryouga.   
Akane ducked under the first umbrella swing, smashing her fist into Ryouga's side with the force of a pile driver, even as he brought the umbrella around for another swing.   
**THUD**   
**BONK**   
Ryouga hadn't blinked from the impact. Akane had been laid out unconscious on the floor.   
Ranma's face grew red. "Alright, you little pig! You DIE for that!"   
Ryouga looked for a moment at Akane's fallen form, finally fixing his gaze on his other opponent. "Where... is... Ranma!?!"   
"Forget Ranma, you bastard! You're going to pay for hurting Akane!"   
"I have no grudge against you or anyone else in this house. Just Ranma."   
"You just made a grudge!"   
Ryouga sighed, looking almost regretful. "Look... I'm... sorry about that girl. Show me Ranma, and I'll leave. I swear it."   
"Ranma isn't here! And it's a little late to be saying sorry!"   
Ryouga hefted his umbrella again, now setting his pack aside for greater manoeuverability. "If you won't be reasonable, then I suppose there's no other choice. Defend yourself!"   
"Bring it on, pig!" 

********************* 

It was about half an hour later that Akane came to her senses. She wasn't sure what the umbrella was made of, but nothing made of bamboo should have knocked her out with one blow. The sound of crashing made her realize that things were less than peaceful around her.   
Gingerly sitting up, she looked around in confusion. The sound of fighting was still all around her. One voice was distinctly feminine, while the other was distinctly masculine. As her vision came into focus, she was able to identify the two fighters as   
being Jasmine and the young man named Ryouga who had knocked her out previously.   
Akane balled his fists angrily. How dare he storm in and attack her in her own house without so much as a challenge? She would show him!   
"Outta the way, 'kane!" Ranma yelled, diving hard enough to knock Akane off her feet.   
Akane shrugged off the redhead off and looked to see Ryouga's umbrella buried right through the floorboards where she'd been a moment ago. He withdrew the weapon and lunged towards Ranma again.   
Akane levelled her fist towards Ryouga angrily. "How dare you-"   
**THUD**   
**BONK**   
Ryouga blinked again at the fallen girl, not noticing that his opponent's battle aura was beginning to flare up visibly. "Why does she keep attacking me?" he asked in disbelief.   
**CRACK**   
Ryouga reeled backwards from the axe-kick to the face, his attention focussed again. "Don't go blaming me for this!" he protested. "She's the one who attacked me!"   
"Well, you've had this coming all the same!" Ranma yelled, still advancing.   
"Very well," Ryouga agreed stonily. "No more games."   
They charged towards each other again. 

****************** 

Akane groaned as she regained consciousness half an hour later. She could still hear the fighting going on around her. Sitting up again, she did her best to ignore the pounding headache she now had.   
Jasmine and Ryouga were still fighting each other, although they were visibly tiring by now. The dojo walls were completely gone, save for the four beams at the corners that supported the roof. Akane shook her head as Ryouga's fist punched through the floor where Jasmine had been a moment ago. This was ridiculous. The dojo... _her_ dojo... was being destroyed before her very eyes!   
Neither of the combatants noticed that Akane was awake again. Ryouga was in the process of delivering axe-kick to the top of Jasmine's head that effectively hammered her down through the floor boards. She recovered fast enough roll backwards under Ryouga's follow-up punch. From his overextended position, it was an easy matter to coil her entire body before double-kicking Ryouga straight up into the air and through the roof. Ryouga came down hard enough to punch a second hole through the roof and through the floor for good measure afterwards. He crawled out of the Ryouga-sized hole in the floor, obviously still having plenty of a fight in him.   
Akane was simply gaping at the display before her. It was Tarou vs Ranma all over again. Either one of them could have probably beaten her with one hand behind their backs. Just seeing the amounts of damage they were withstanding from each other was mind boggling. Why did everybody seem to be better than her? It just wasn't fair...   
"Try _these_!" Ryouga yelled, yanking a handful of bandana's from his head. (This author doesn't feel like trying to explain where they all come from). Spinning them rapidly, he hurled them all in Ranma's general direction.   
"Hah! Easy!" Ranma yelled, ducking and jumping over the projectiles.   
"Then try _these_!" Ryouga yelled, preparing to toss more bandanas at her.   
A creaking noise made the two stop. Looking towards the source of the noise, both picked up on a distressing fact immediately. Ryouga's bandanas had just chopped out two out of four of the corner beams supporting the roof. Predictably, the roof was now beginning to obey gravity. And there was a third person underneath the roof...   
Akane was still staring at the fight in disbelief.   
"Akane!" Ranma yelled, madly dashing towards her, even as the roof began to crash down on them all. Akane didn't even flinch as Ranma bowled into her, knocking her to the floor and covering her as best she could.   
With a tremendous crash, the roof of the dojo collapsed. 

For what seemed like forever, there was silence. Akane was the first to try and get her bearings. She was on her back, on the floor of the dojo. She had been watching Jasmine and Ryouga fight it out, between occasionally getting knocked out like a little baby in the way. Then the dojo roof had begun to collapse. Then Jasmine had knocked her to the floor to try and protect her...   
Ranma blinked. Upon realizing that Akane wasn't about to move out of the way of the roof, she had immediately done the proper thing for a martial artist, which was to try to protect Akane. Despite her smaller feminine form, she had done her best to shield Akane. She had heard the dojo's roof crash to the ground all around her. But she hadn't felt anything hit her. Looking up, she saw the reason why...   
Ryouga met her gaze evenly, even as he knelt next to the two girls, his umbrella sheltering all three of them from the destruction. His face no longer had the unrestrained anger it had possessed a moment ago. It was more solemn, an unmistakable message written upon it.   
The same thing was written on Ranma's face. The fight was over. 

*************** 

"Psst! Tarou's back!"   
All the girls seated at the lunch table flashed each other a smile.   
"Oh, Tarou?" one of them called out.   
Tarou looked curiously towards them as he balanced a lunch tray on his index finger, complete with a homemade, Kasumi-made lunch. Really, he was getting spoiled by all this good food, he admonished himself unrepentantly. "May I help you?" he inquired politely.   
"W-we were just wondering if you'd like to join us for lunch?"   
Tarou's mind raced. He had already decided that he'd practised enough for tomorrow's match. 'Jasmine' and Ukyou were not a concern of his at the moment. A little school gossip might be nice about now... "It would be my pleasure," he agreed,   
bowing briefly.   
The girl all wore smiles bright enough to be declared a source of a light as Tarou took a seat next to them.   
"S-so, Tarou," one of the braver girls began nervously. "Are you and Jasmine ready for tomorrow?"   
"I'd say so," he agreed with a smirk. "Anyone wanting to make some money is welcome to bet it on Jasmine and myself winning." Or possibly only himself, he corrected inwardly.   
"Student council has a bus going to both your skating match _and_ Akane's Rhythmic Gymnastics tournament."   
"A shame really," Tarou mused aloud. "I had wanted to go see Akane's match myself."   
"You can," one girl pointed out. "Akane's match isn't until the afternoon. You and Jasmine can go watch the match after you've won the skating match."   
Tarou nodded. "I think I will, then. It shouldn't take too long to win the skating match."   
"Where's Jasmine?" one of the girls asked.   
"Oh, she's helping Akane get ready for the Gymnastics Match. She knows a little bit of Rhythmic Gymnastics herself. I gave her and Akane the day off to practice."   
"So do you think Akane will win?"   
Tarou shrugged. Like heck, Akane was going to win. When hell froze over. "I think if she applies herself, she will definitely give Kodachi the shock of her life."   
"We'll all cheering for her. And you too, of course."   
"Do you know where Ranma took off to?"   
"He's off on a training trip. He's a very dedicated martial artist. But he's going to be trying to make it back in time to see Akane's match, he said."   
"Well, let's hope he does."   
"Oh, that shouldn't be any problem," Tarou assured them easily. "I'd figure on him arriving back shortly after my skating match, really." 

**************** 

Akane looked across at Ryouga with barely disguised fury. "You destroyed the dojo. _My_ dojo!"   
Ranma swallowed. "It... it was partly my fault too, Akane."   
Akane shook her head. "You were just defending, Jasmine! As for _you_..."   
Ryouga didn't even flinch under her glare. "I... I am sorry about that. If you like, I will help you build a new one. It's just that Ranma..." His fists clenched tight enough to whiten them.   
"What about Ranma? What did he ever do to you?" Akane demanded.   
"He... I... would rather not discuss it right now."   
"You break into my house, destroy my dojo and attack _me_ and you'd 'rather not discuss it'?" Akane looked positively steamed now.   
Ryouga didn't even blink. "You refused to show me Ranma. A real martial artist doesn't even need a dojo to train. And you attacked me."   
Ranma watched the exchange worriedly. This wasn't right. Ryouga should be a stammering idiot right now. Back in junior high, Ranma couldn't remember him _ever_ arguing with a girl before. He still had his temper in full force, and he seemed to have picked up an umbrella as a weapon. But he seemed far too composed and calm to be the Ryouga he'd once known...   
Akane gritted her teeth, looking like she was about attack Ryouga again.   
Ranma realized that some intervention was needed. Quickly. "Uh..."   
"What is it, Jasmine?" Akane asked.   
Well, it had worked, despite its lack of intelligence. Fortunately, Ranma was struck with a brainstorm. "I just thought of somethin', Ryouga. You want Ranma?"   
Ryouga nodded curtly, eyebrows narrowing.   
"Well, I know where he is," Ranma said, hoping he wasn't making a big mistake by doing this. "I'll make sure you find him on one condition."   
"_What_ condition?"   
"Akane is training for a Rhythmic Gymnastics tournament tomorrow. You know the style, right?"   
Akane's blinked, her mind finally distracted from the idea of pounding Ryouga into the ground (Never mind how well that _hadn't_ worked the last time she tried it). "You know Rhythmic Gymnastics?"   
Ranma sucked in a breath, trying to decide how to phrase it properly. "Ranma learned what he knows about it from Ryouga. I learned what I know from Ranma."   
Akane's eyes opened wide. "Really?"   
"I saw the style once," Ryouga corrected.   
No big difference, Ranma knew. Ryouga didn't _officially_ practice the Anything-Goes style, but then again, on account of his wandering, he didn't really practice any style. He just used whatever techniques he happened to find during his wanderings. Only a small step away from the style, really. Regardless, he picked up techniques almost as fast as Ranma did. Merely 'seeing' Rhythmic Gymnastics once would have been more than enough to learn some good moves.   
"Come on, Ryouga," Ranma suggested. "You and I can have a little match. Akane, you watch us. Then we'll teach you the moves." Ranma looked towards Ryouga.   
The bandana-clad boy finally nodded. "Fine. I'll teach her what I know. And then you show me Ranma."   
"Deal!"   
Akane looked at the joyous expression on Jasmine's face. Inwardly, she was happy too. Jasmine was far better than her at the style. And apparently, indirectly, she had learned it from this Ryouga character. If she could learn from him... perhaps she still had a fighting chance in the match tomorrow.   
She looked carefully at Ryouga. He didn't seem all that remarkable. Well-built, not unlike Ranma was, possibly more so, although the full length clothing he wore made it hard to tell. Very rough look to him, what with his clothing and unkempt hair. He was obviously a very skilled martial artist to have fought Jasmine to a standstill. The fact that her punches hadn't even budged him suggested that he was quite strong.   
She looked back at Jasmine. She hoped this all wasn't giving Jasmine the wrong idea about how things stood between them... 

**************** 

"Seven empty glasses of sake on the wall... seven empty glass of sake... toss another back add to the rack... eight empty glasses of sake on the wall..."   
Ukyou slumped down a little further in her chair, debating whether she should pull out another bottle of sake. Eight glasses of the stuff didn't seem to have done much to knock her out. Obviously her martial artist's constitution was hard at work, keeping the alcohol at bay. Looks like ten years of training could do wonders after all. Just the shame, she'd rather had let the alcohol do its worst. Then she could just sleep it off, wake up in a puddle of drool, with a splitting hangover and a bad enough temper to get pissed off at Tarou properly.   
As it was, she wasn't even giddy enough to forget how stupid she'd been. Aside from challenging a giant minotaur to a fight, she had also thrown away her only lead on finding Ranma. She was now completely in the dark as to finding Ranma.   
In a small corner of her mind, she was able to rationalize that Ranma would be showing himself soon regardless of what she did now. All Tarou had to do was win the skating match. With his bizarre cursed form, his victory was guaranteed. He could be as bad a skater as Jasmine and still win. She could just stand by and watch as Ranma was somehow produced as a result of the victory. Then she could finish this ridiculous business.   
But what if something went wrong? Tarou without his water bottle was only a top-notch martial artist. On ice-skates without his bottle, he would be considerably less dangerous still. Without Jasmine around as a second target, he might even loose. And   
then Ranma wouldn't come... and her ten years of work would be for nothing...   
Ukyou abruptly stood up, fists clenched. She couldn't afford to take the chance. There was only one thing she could do.   
It was time to talk to Ralph on the big white telephone.   
Hands clapped over her mouth, Ukyou ran to the washroom and began to throw up into something that was flush-able. But even as she swore never to binge on alcohol again, she decided that perhaps she would stick around a little longer to guarantee her interests. 

***************** 

With an audible grunt, Akane leapt into the air. Even as a baton was hurled towards her from the left, she could see a ribbon arcing around from the right. At the last moment, she grabbed the ribbon with her right hand, pulling it tight enough to lever   
herself up and over the baton, her left foot knocking it to the ground.   
With a satisfied smile, she touched down on the grass. "Did it!"   
The practising was presently taking place in the backyard, on the side opposite the pond at Ryouga's insistence. Something about it being more effective for training, he said. This was all on account of the destroyed dojo, of course.   
"You should already be planning to counter-attack," Ryouga replied, dampening her initial enthusiasm.   
Scowling, Akane grabbed the baton and hurled it at Ryouga, who briefly unfurled his umbrella to block it.   
"My opponent isn't going to have an umbrella," she muttered.   
"In Rhythmic Gymnastics, _anything_ can be used as a weapon," Ryouga informed her. "As long as it's not a bare-handed blow."   
"So I could use a boken?" Akane asked.   
He shrugged. "It wouldn't work very well. But you could. In most matches, they have second, who can throw weapons to you as needed."   
Akane looked thoughtful. She needed a second, then. But who? Jasmine was already committed to the skating match. She would have to see if she couldn't find someone to take on the role for tomorrow.   
"Do you think I've gotten any better?" she asked them.   
"Lots!"   
"Better."   
She smiled thinly, somehow expecting those answers from the two. She knew she'd gotten better since Ryouga had started directing the training. What Jasmine had already taught her was merely being compounded and perfected now. She still had a   
hard time believing that Ryouga had only seen the style once. Even if he _was_ a good martial artist...   
Off-hand, she wondered how good he really was. He had held his own against Jasmine. How would he do against Ranma? Or against Tarou? And why was he so angry with Ranma in the first place?   
"You should get some sleep," Ryouga suggested. "Anything you've learned will be useless unless you're properly rested."   
Akane nodded reluctantly. "Maybe I should. Thanks, Ryouga."   
He nodded curtly, saying nothing.   
She could understand. He was only doing this to find Ranma. And she figured he owed her something for destroying the dojo... "I guess I'll be going to bed then. No more fighting, right?"   
They both nodded obediently as Akane headed inside.   
Once the screen door closed, Ryouga fixed Ranma with a glance. "Alright. I taught her. Now where's Ranma?"   
"I told you. I'll make sure you meet him. He's... getting back tomorrow after my skating match."   
The bandanaed boy's eyes narrowed. "Where's Ranma?"   
Ranma's eyes narrowed too. This was getting ridiculous. "He's getting back tomorrow! Just don't get lost for a day and I'll make sure you meet him, okay? Why are you so ticked off at him, anyway?"   
Drops of rain began to fall, Ryouga already holding his umbrella over his head. "That's none of your concern," he informed her stoutly.   
"How come you carry that umbrella around all the time?"   
Ryouga flushed. "Because I feel like it!"   
"Geez, what's your problem? Ranma... said that you were always a friendly guy most of the time."   
"I _was_! Until he ran out on our duel!"   
"Huh? I don't remem - when did he run out on a duel?"   
Ryouga's fists clenched. "Back in junior high... we were supposed to meet for one final duel before he left for China."   
Ranma suddenly remembered. "But... but Ranma... said that he waited for three days for you to arrive!"   
"And when I arrived on the fourth day, he was gone!"   
Yes, wasn't that just like Ryouga? "How come it took you four days? The abandoned lot was behind your house!"   
Ryouga's flushed red. "Do you think I was sightseeing for four days?! I went through HELL to get there! And how do you know where our duel was?"   
"Uh... Ranma told me about it once."   
"And how do you know Ranma so well?"   
"Um... we know each other pretty good. We... met each other in China."   
"Hmph. Just don't get in my way once I find Ranma. I'm going to send him to hell for what he's done!"   
"Right, right."   
"Uh..." Ryouga looked a little sheepish. "Could I stay the night? I don't want to get lost again..."   
Ranma sighed. "Fine, fine. You can sleep in my room, I guess. Just don't go startin' any fights, okay?"   
Ryouga meekly followed after the redhead, careful to keep the umbrella overhead until they had entered the house. He knew he shouldn't be getting angry at anyone but Ranma, but it was so hard sometimes... but Jasmine here was certainly not his enemy. He would have to apologize for his rudeness sometime. Ranma had put him through hell... but that didn't give him an excuse to get angry at an innocent bystander...   
Wait a minute... sleep in _HER_ room. In the same room as...   
A thump made Ranma turn around. Ryouga was sprawled out on the floor unconscious, his nose looking bloody. "Huh? Geez, musta beat you up more than I thought." Without another word, Ranma slung Ryouga over her shoulder, ignoring the   
umbrella and backpack, and dragged him upstairs. Tarou was already sound asleep, so Ranma just leaned Ryouga up in a corner to sleep, then lay down herself. Tomorrow was the big match, and she had every intention of winning. Her manhood depended on it... 


	11. Showdown

Tarou 1/2   
By Intrasonic 

Chapter 10: Showdown 

It was early in the morning that the first stirrings occurred near the Tendou Dojo. Before the sun had even begun to rise. Before the birds had even begun to sing, actually.   
Outside, a shadowy figure crept over the outside wall, racing across the lawn without a noise, coming to a stop outside the kitchen window.   
In the bedroom section, one of the doors was quietly pushed open, a shadowy figure creeping out of the room and towards the kitchen.   
Several moments later, another door was quietly pushed open, a second shadowy figure creeping out of the room, also heading towards the kitchen.   
Several more moments later, yet another door was pushed open, a third shadowy figure leaving the room, headed towards the(Um... take a wild guess...) kitchen. 

An audible *snap* was heard as the kitchen lights were abruptly turned on   
There was a brief moment in time when everything and everyone froze.   
"Oh my."   
And then it passed.   
"_Good morning_" a pair of voices chorused cheerfully, even as they realized they were being mimicked.   
A maniacal laugh sounded off in the distance, the source seeming to be headed directly away from the dojo at a rapid pace.   
Tarou turned and shot a killing glance.   
Nabiki mirrored the turn, returning the killing glance.   
"Good morning Tarou, Nabiki," Kasumi greeted, completely heedless of the angry glares the two were now giving each other. "You two are up early."   
"I need to warm up for today's match," Tarou agreed cheerfully, grabbing the first drink that presented itself. "Thought I'd get a small bite to eat first."   
"I've got a lot of bet-taking to organize for the matches," Nabiki agreed, also grabbing for the first drink she could find. "Can't do that on an empty stomach."   
"That's nice."   
After several seconds, when no more comments were forthcoming from anyone, the two turned and marched out the room. 

****************** 

Breakfast was served at the usual time, with all usual members present, minus Ranma of course. 'Jasmine' and Ryouga were also taking advantage of the hospitality. On the other hand, several people never actually went so far as to eat breakfast, contenting themselves with coffee and toast.   
"Aren't you hungry?" Kasumi asked worriedly.   
"I'll eat something after the match," Nabiki soothed. "I can't eat before making money."   
"I'd hate to lose the skating match on account of a stomach cramp," Tarou replied. "I'll have something after I win."   
**CRUNCH**SMACK**GULP**BURP**   
Four other people were more than making up for the lack of two appetites.   
"FINISHED!!!"   
The Tendou family's faces took on worried expressions as Akane's exclamation/battle-cry rang forth from the kitchen.   
"Whoa!" Nabiki exclaimed in disbelief, looking at her match. "I've got to meet Rei in fifteen minutes! I'd better get going!" Without another word, she bolted from the room, notebooks in hand.   
Tarou had been a guest long enough to learn that Akane's cooking was less than ideal under the best of circumstances. Before a big match... "Give my regrets," he said, bowing. Then he bolted from the room as well.   
No sooner had he disappeared than Akane appeared, complete with a platter of 'food'. "Who wants some?"   
Ranma put up her hand quickly. "Sure!!!"   
Genma smiled. "Always room for more!"   
"I would be delighted to try some," Ryouga agreed politely.   
Akane was on Cloud Nine after those responses. "Help yourself! There's lots!"   
Soun cringed, but thoughts of Akane's response to any attempted intervention kept him for trying to stop the three from rapidly cramming food into their mouths.   
Akane was rapidly progressing to Cloud Ten as the food disappeared from the platter. "How is it? It's a new recipe."   
"Nawbad," Ranma said during mouthfuls.   
Abruptly all three people's faces began to go green.   
"What's wrong?" Akane asked worriedly. "Jasmine? Ryouga? Mr. Saotome?"   
All three abruptly keeled over backwards, the look on their faces getting worse by the moment.   
"Goodness," Soun muttered. "Usually it comes right back up..."   
"WHAT?!?"   
"...Nothing..."   
Akane ran into the kitchen. The sound of running water was heard briefly, then she ran back into the room, holding a bucket of water. "I'll douse them with this cold water! That'll wake them up again!"   
Ryouga yelled loudly, suddenly on his feet again, open umbrella in hand. "N-no!!! I'm fine, really! J-just ate too quickly!   
Genma was on his feet too. "I was... choking! Yes, choking! Just for a moment!"   
Akane shrugged. "Well... if you're really sure..."   
"Positive!" they chorused quickly.   
"It's wonderful!" Genma continued. "Why, it flowed down my throat like... like wine! Yes, wine!"   
"It was homemade biscuit and toast," she pointed out.   
"Well... uh... they say the best homemade biscuits... melt in your mouth!"   
Akane beamed. "Oh. Thank-you!"   
A brief silence ensued, broken only by the angry gurgling of Genma's and Ryouga's abused stomachs as they began to protest the Cruel and Unusual punishment inflicted on them.   
"I have to go to the bathroom." "I have to go to the bathroom."   
The two bolted simultaneously towards the bathroom, leaving Ranma to suffer alone.   
"Jasmine?" Akane asked worriedly. "Are you okay?"   
No reply.   
Akane shook Ranma gently. "Jasmine? What's wrong? You don't look very good. Are you okay?"   
Still no answer. Akane's face began to look a little more frightened. "She's... unconscious! She must be ill! I'll take her to Dr. Tofu!"   
Kasumi and Soun watched wordlessly as Akane lifted the redhead up, and dragged her out the door.   
"Such a young girl," Soun sighed. "Cut down in the prime of life..."   
"Oh my," Kasumi observed. "I wonder if she'll be able to take part in the skating match?" 

**************** 

"Well... I think I've found the problem."   
Akane look up with frightened eyes. "What's wrong?"   
Dr. Tofu coughed, sipping a glass of water. One did not get to be a doctor without learning some tact. "Several things, I'm afraid. Your friend Jasmine seems to have been poisoned."   
"POISONED?!?"   
"I'm afraid so. Whoever did it was very thorough, too. I've been able to isolate four different poisons. One of them is a rare herbal plant extract that makes the victim experience extreme nausea for several days. Another is a strange root paste, but the   
plant only grows in the Bayankala regions of China, which I find rather strange to see around here. All it does is put the victim into an extremely deep sleep. The third poison is a common industrial strength sleep medicine. That could have been obtained from a drug store around here. The fourth poison, I haven't been able to identify, but it seems rather lethal..."   
"Is she going to be okay?"   
"I think so. It was lucky that you got Jasmine over here when you did. She's certainly a tough individual. She'll be up and around within a day. But she'll have some problems with muscle and sight coordination for at least a few hours."   
"But she's got a skating match in less than an hour!"   
"Well, I'm sorry, but she's going to have to miss it. I'll write an official note for her to excuse the absence, but she's going to have to abstain from sports for today."   
Akane sighed. Dr. Tofu was a kind doctor, but he made very few compromises where the health of his patients was concerned.   
The sound of a door opening was heard.   
"Dr. Tofu!" "Dr. Tofu."   
"Nabiki," Akane observed in surprise. "Tarou."   
"I heard something about a poison," Nabiki began worriedly.   
"Am I going to have a partner?" Tarou asked.   
"I'm afraid you heard right," Dr. Tofu agreed grimly. He related the information on the poisons to the two newcomers. "She'll be fine within a day, but she'll have to miss the skating match."   
Nabiki groaned. "Do you have any idea how much this is going to mess up my betting odds?"   
"Nabiki!" Akane was aghast.   
"Well, I'm going to lose a fortune when Tarou forfeits," she complained.   
Tarou chuckled. "Now, now, don't jump to conclusions. Dr. Tofu, Jasmine will be alright, I assume?"   
"Just give her a day, and she'll be as good as new."   
"I see. I suppose I'll simply have to beat them up by myself, then."   
Nabiki allowed a brief smile to cross her face. Perfect...   
Tarou permitted himself a brief smile. Perfect...   
"You're going to take them on by yourself?" Akane asked incredulously.   
"Of course. A martial artist can't turn down a challenge because things get a little harder. I'll have to try a little harder that's all. Tell Jasmine that I'll take care of everything and get her stupid hair ribbon back."   
Akane allowed herself a brief moment of awe. Tarou didn't seem to be considering the fact that he might lose by himself. Even if he _was_ good... "Well, good luck," she agreed.   
"Tell Jasmine not to worry a bit," Tarou acknowledged, leaving the room.   
Nabiki left the room after him. "Good luck on the gymnastics match, little sister." 

******************** 

Outside the office, Tarou grabbed Nabiki's arm roughly. "I hope you appreciate how lucky you are, Nabiki-darling..."   
Nabiki felt a sinking feeling in her stomach. How had he figured that out... she suddenly understood. Outwardly, she didn't even blink. "For what, Tarou-baby? Lucky that you _already_ poisoned her?"   
Tarou mimicked the expression. "You're lucky that I wanted her out of the way. I think I can even tell which poison you used, since your little sister's cooking would be the unknown substance, and the herbal extract would be courtesy of that psycho gymnast with the rose fetish."   
"How astute of you. But I'm sure you'll figure out how to win the match, anyway, am I right?"   
He let go of her arm, smirking. "I don't think you understand how certain my victory is to begin with."   
"Me and my betting pool are both counting on it," she agreed sweetly. "Best of luck to you."   
He scowled as he began to walk towards the skating rink. "I don't _need_ luck."   
Nabiki smiled, even though her mouth was the only participant. What a smooth-talking, egotistical little...   
This had been a surprising development. Tarou had actually poisoned his own partner? That was an entirely new level of heartlessness. Not that she wouldn't have done much the same thing if she'd deemed it necessary...   
What was he thinking? Granted, Jasmine wasn't nearly the skater he was, but even still... was it possible that Tarou was far stronger than he'd ever let up on?   
She hoped not. She wanted him to win, of course. But she wanted that victory only after he'd let a few of his lucrative secrets slip out first... she hoped Tarou confidence was only an act. Perhaps his confidence would be taken down a notch after   
seeing how she'd stacked the rules... 

**************** 

"It was Kodachi! It had to have been! She must have been trying to poison me before the match!"   
"That's... possible," Dr. Tofu agreed diplomatically. "The poisons were quite severe."   
Akane was pacing up and down the room like a mad-woman, fists clenched. "That's going too far! My whole family could have been poisoned! She'll pay for this!"   
"Ugh..."   
Both the doctor and Akane were beside Jasmine's bed in moments.   
"Are you alright?"   
"How are you feeling, Jasmine?"   
"I feel... sick..."   
"Take it easy," Tofu admonished. "You've taken an extremely high dose of toxic substances. I'm surprised you're doing as well as you are."   
Ranma's head was throbbing like an alarm clock, but years of training allowed her to regulate it to a background sensation. "I gotta... get to the skating rink..."   
"Easy!" Akane warned.   
Ranma stubbornly set foot on the ground. Almost immediately, the world began to spin around violently.   
**THUD**   
"You're in no condition to participate," Dr. Tofu informed her. "I'm afraid that I'm going to have to have you to stay in bed until you're recovered. Doctor's orders."   
"No! I gotta..."   
A quick touch to Ranma's neck was enough to make Ranma pass out unconscious, courtesy of a well-placed shiatsu point.   
Akane gently eased the redhead onto the bed again, covering her up with the sheets. "Poor Jasmine. She's been training hard all week for this."   
"Well, her friend seems to think that he can manage without her, so we'll have to trust him. But I can't let her participate in good conscience."   
Akane bit her tongue. Tarou was good. But good enough to take on the Golden Pair by himself? That remained to be seen. "Is she going to be okay here?"   
"I'll keep an eye on her," he promised. "You've got your Gymnastics Competition this afternoon, don't you?"   
"That's right. And Kodachi going to pay for poisoning my friend like this! I _swear_ it!" 

***************** 

Kholkoz High Martial Arts Figure Skating Competition   
Presents "The Thomas Cup" 

Starring: THE GOLDEN PAIR vs Tarou and Jasmine 

Rules:   
1 - No Explosives   
2 - When on the ice contestants must wear skates, and only skates at all times   
3 - The winner gets The Hair Ribbon / "Thomas" 

Betting Pool organized by Nabiki Tendou and Associates 

Tarou scowled at the rules, as though willing them to disappear.   
"Strange rules, aren't they?" Nabiki observed, letting only a hint of laughter into her voice. "I mean, I can't imagine why anybody could want to break rules like _that_..."   
"I can't either," Tarou agreed, glaring daggers at her. "Stupid rules, I'd say."   
Without further ado, he pulled a handful of small canisters from his pack and tossed them away - **BOOM** - reducing a Mikado Fan Club stand to rubble. "Stupid rules."   
"I think you'll have to leave those ice cleats behind too," Nabiki reminded him.   
"Suppose so," he agreed, tossing those away too. It didn't really matter, he told himself. He still had his water bottle. That alone would guarantee his victory, even if his other tricks didn't. Just the same, Nabiki was clearly becoming an annoyance. As soon as this match was over, he would be ensuring that she didn't interfere with him again...   
"Well, best of luck, Tarou-baby," she added, heading off towards the side stand.   
"Yes, best of luck to you too, Nabiki-darling," he agreed sarcastically, heading off towards the dressing room. 

****************** 

Tarou nonchalantly strode into the dressing room. His various... _tools_ were already stashed on himself, since there was no point in tipping Mikado off too early.   
"So, you had the nerve to show your face," Mikado greeted.   
"Say, is it true that your girl-kissing is just a cover-up for your real interests?"   
Mikado flushed red. "How dare you imply such a thing! Be that as it may, you shall not stop me from making my landmark conquest this match!!!"   
"Go on. I'll pretend to be listening."   
"At sometime during this match, I, Mikado Sanzenin, WILL steal a kiss from the lips of the beauteous Jasmine-"   
"No, you won't. She's sick in bed. You're fighting me on my own."   
Mikado gaped in honest shock. "WHAT?!?"   
"Sorry to disappoint you, pretty-boy. Jasmine's been poisoned, so she can't make it."   
"I would not be surprised if _you_ poisoned her, just to keep her away from her liberation..."   
Tarou laughed. "Actually, I _did_ poison her."   
"I thought as much. You shall truly pay dearly for such a travesty!"   
"Uh huh. I'll see you on the ice. And one little thing..."   
Mikado looked at him disdainfully. "Yes?"   
"Wipe off that eye shadow before you go out." 

******************** 

"As the defending champions, we have Mikado Sanzenin and Azusa Shiratori, collectively known as the Golden Pair. Undefeated after... we've all lost count how many matches, but there sure have been a lot of them!"   
A deafening cheer resounded throughout the stadium as the Golden Pair casually coasted out into the center of the ice, amidst the cheers and applause of the home crowd.   
"As the challenger, we have two relative unknowns. Tarou, the new school disciplinary teacher, the first one who's ever survived the job, much less with such ease. And his partner, Jasmine... sorry, I've just received an update. Owing to an unfortunate poisoning incident, Jasmine will not be taking part. Nevertheless, Tarou has elected to challenge the Golden Pair on his own!"   
The one end of the rink erupted in a very feminine sounding cheer as Tarou quietly coasted onto the center of the ice. His face was expressionless, his attention focused on his opponent to the degree that he even abstained from waving to his fans.   
Unfortunately, there was also a very masculine sounding protest.   
The announced continued. "We seem to have a problem. Apparently... the male population is protesting the lack of a scantily clad female skater..."   
Tarou rolled his eyes. This whole town was infested with idiots. "Shaddup! Who cares about that, you morons!"   
The female half cheered loudly. More booing from the male half.   
"We seem to be having a little disagreement among the Furinken population... oh wait, the ladies seem to be winning. OUCH!!! Several males are going to have some trouble in their future sex life... hey, I can't believe I said that over the loudspeaker..."   
"Start the damn match!" Tarou bellowed.   
The bell was rung loudly.   
"You're going down, pretty-boy!" Tarou chuckled, beginning to coast towards the pair.   
"I think not," Mikado chuckled. "Come, Azusa. Let's teach this miscreant a lesson."   
"Thomas is mine!" Azusa yelled.   
Tarou immediately swerved sideways, forcing the Golden Pair to close the distance themselves. It was time to find the holes in their defenses. He had his water bottle, of course. But there was no point in tipping his hand just yet.   
Mikado lifted Azusa in his right hand, launching her into an aerial attack, even as he drove in on the ice, preparing to trip up his opponent after his partner had attacked.   
Tarou simply stopped and waited for Azusa to strike. At the last moment, he raised his arms, letting her skates slam into the heavy metal of his bracers. And some people thought they were just decorations...   
"Hey!" Azusa protested, even as he dragged the smaller girl down to the ice.   
"Ack!" Mikado protested, realized that his partner was now in between him and his target. Withdrawing his kick, he blazed by the two just in time to receive four knuckles in his stomach.   
The Furinken half of the crowd cheered loudly as Tarou backed off, the smirk on his face evident. So he'd been correct. The Golden Pair typically targeted separate team members to ensure that their attacks wouldn't hit each other. Unfortunately, they only had one target this time around...   
"Give it up, Pretty-boy," he taunted. "You just met your match!"   
"I think not," Mikado corrected, wincing as he got to his feet. "You were merely lucky."   
"Then try again."   
"Without another word, the Golden Pair launched themselves forwards, Mikado grabbing Azusa in a violently spinning technique that literally turned Azusa's skates into a spinning saw blade. Tarou simply waited.   
"Ack!!!" Mikado stumbled, inadvertently letting go of Azusa.   
"AHHHH!!!" Azusa went flying off in the wrong direction.   
Tarou laughed evilly, discreetly tucking away the bag of salt he'd brought onto the ice...   
Mikado looked at the ice suspiciously, picking up a piece of salt. He glared daggers at Tarou. "You do not fight fairly, I see."   
"Nope," Tarou agreed cheerfully. "But I _do_ win my fights, Pretty-boy. Try again." 

Nabiki watched the fight impatiently. This was going all wrong. Tarou was winning too easily. She was no combat expert by any means, but she had a hunch that only fighting a single person was throwing the Golden Pair. No doubt Tarou's intent behind putting Jasmine out of the picture... very clever.   
The ice salt was an interesting idea too.   
She was possibly the only one to notice a conspicuous absence. She knew why Jasmine wasn't there. But where was Ukyou? The spatula wielding martial-artist had spent the whole week training Tarou for... some reason, connected to finding Ranma.   
At this rate, she would make an impressive profit from Tarou's victory. Bets on the Golden Pair's victory had literally flowed in after Jasmine's absence was announced. Even Nabiki's cohorts were getting frightened. But not her. She quite firmly believed Tarou would win this match.   
She simply didn't want it to happen to easily. Certainly not before he gave up a secret or two. The winnings would no doubt appease her cohorts. But nothing short of knowledge would appease herself. 

Azusa coasted to a stop beside Mikado. By some miracle, she hadn't been thrown far enough to impact a wall, her skating abilities letting her land easily and return to the fight.   
"You cheated!" she yelled angrily.   
Tarou flipped his middle finger at her. "Get used to it, cutesy-girl. I play for keeps. Give me that hair ribbon and you get off with just losing this match. Keep this up and I start breaking a few bones!"   
"Mere words," Mikado scoffed. "You present an interesting challenge, but the Golden Pair has defeated greater than the likes of you!"   
Tarou idly patted his water body. "Oh, I don't think you've met anybody greater than _me_."   
He didn't figure this out until about five seconds later, but Tarou had just made a big mistake. Very big.   
"_PIERRE_!!!"   
"What now?" Mikado asked irritably. "We're in the middle of a match-ACK!!!"   
Azusa's hearing systems had been put on standby as she lunged towards Tarou, inadvertently dragging Mikado behind her.   
Tarou smirked as he saw Azusa and the flailed Mikado coming straight at him. 

**CLANG**   
"Ohhh..."   
"PIERRE!!!"   
"Heh, like _that_ one Pretty-boy?" 

"The last straw!!!" Mikado growled, staggering to his feet. His forehead now sported a rather interesting dragon-scale pattern, remarkably similar to that on Tarou's bracer...   
Tarou chuckled, rubbing his forearm arm. He hadn't held back much on that one. "Plenty more where that came from."   
"You look lovely, Pierre."   
Tarou froze upon seeing Azusa talking to "Pierre".   
The announcers voice clarified the issue a little. "_Azusa_ seems to have taken a liking to Tarou's water bottle!"   
_His_ water bottle.   
Tarou risked looking at his waist, just in case there was a second water bottle that looked exactly like his. There wasn't. That miserable little girl had just stolen the only source of liquid water on the entire skating rink.   
Mikado, as well as everyone else on the rink, failed to understand the implications of this. "You will pay for doing such a thing to my face!" he growled.   
He turned to face his partner. "Come Azusa. It's time to demonstrate the goodbye whirl to this worthless challenger."   
Tarou raised an eyebrow. "Go ahead and try," he invited, idly wondering what kind of move it might be. Not that he couldn't win anyway, but he was going to feel _much_ better once he got that water bottle back...   
"Pierre..."   
Mikado snatched the bottle from Azusa and hurled it out of the rink. "Forget the stupid bottle, you idiot!"   
"You threw away Pierre!"   
He'd juzt thrown away the water bottle...   
Mikado restrained his temper admirably. "Pierre is waiting for you to win this match, alright? NOW WORK WITH ME!!!"   
Tarou winced as he saw the water bottle fly away. Damn. Was it possible they had been tipped off about the bottle? Had their poor performance merely been an attempt to make him overconfident so that he wouldn't use the water until it was too   
late? 

Nabiki smiled smugly as she looked at her prize. One water bottle. She didn't know why Tarou always carried the water bottle around, but now she would find out. But not now. Curiosity could be disastrous. She would get someone qualified to analyze the 'water' in the bottle. This match had already yielded a small degree of success.   
Stashing the bottle under her desk, she continued to watch the match.   
"Not doing too bad, is he?"   
Nabiki turned to see who was talking to her so familiarly. A teenage girl, probably about sixteen years old, with long brown hair. "I've never met you before," she observed, not without a little surprise.   
"Just arrived in town. I heard there was a skating match here. It sure seems to be strange so far."   
"You could say that," Nabiki agreed. "It's not everyday you see ice salt used and a water bottle stolen on the ice."   
Nabiki almost missed it. A flicker of alarm in the girls eyes. "A water bottle stolen?"   
"Go figure. I can't imagine why he even brought a water bottle with him. Did he think he'd get thirsty on the ice."   
The girl's eyes were narrowing. "I don't know. Maybe."   
Nabiki stopped the other girl as she tried to walk away quickly. "What's your name. I've never met you before..."   
A grip of steel was returned. "I don't think I've met you either," the girl agreed, effortlessly manhandling Nabiki to the side.   
Nabiki let the girl go, rubbing her wrists gingerly. Unnaturally strong... a martial artist, probably... she would investigate that later on if necessary. Now what about the match... 

Tarou ducked as Mikado's skate breezed overhead. Azusa was already rushing towards him, forcing him to skip over her foot to the point where he almost lost his balance. Now Mikado was approaching him...   
This was what he had been afraid of. The Golden Pair had changed their tactics. They were now attacking him in succession, waiting only long enough for the partner to clear out before launching their own attack. Their superior skating abilities were giving them a clear edge. Only his lifetime of martial arts was allowing to dodge most of the hits and take the remainder with only moderate damage. But they had hit him a few times...   
And he had no water bottle to use...   
He needed to do something quickly. Before he finally lost a fight. 

A flash of movement caught Nabiki's eye, even as she watched the match. The girl was running towards the change room now. She pondered following the girl, but her wrist was still sore. She would keep watching the match. Tarou was obviously on the defensive now. So what was he going to do? He had to have expected this. Where were his secrets now? Had she made a mistake in keeping the explosives out of the rink? Was she going to lose money on this? Was Tarou going to fall without giving up any secrets?   
She gritted her teeth and continued to watch. 

"And now the finisher!" Mikado yelled. "The Goodbye Whirl!"   
Tarou staggered to feet, ignoring the pain his body was radiating. He was still functional, but a far cry from top-form. He simply couldn't get in any hits. The holes in his opponent's defenses were there, but the ice-skates prevented him from being able to exploit them...   
Azusa was approaching now. Perhaps he would try a sacrifice hit. Take a hit and give a hit. That should work, provided he was able to connect...   
Azusa skipped around his punch, approaching him almost to his face.   
And kissed him.   
Tarou's eyes opened wide in shock. What on earth...   
Azusa was already diving underneath his legs, grabbing his ankles from under him. The world began to lurch as Mikado elevated Azusa above his head and began to spin rapidly.   
"Get ready to let him go!" Mikado grunted.   
"Azusa's ready!"   
Oh crap. This was going to hurt, Tarou realized. A lot. His stomach was already beginning to churn from the speed of the spinning. And that was saying a lot, considering that he was a frequent flyer. 

Nabiki bit her tongue. She knew the move. This would be a slight variation on the norm. Without a partner, Azusa was simply let go of Tarou and send him crashing into a wall. Even Tarou would probably be knocked unconscious...   
She cursed silently. Had she lost the gamble? After all his evading her, had he finally met his match in a pair of figure skaters? This wasn't going to be good for her pocketbook _or_ her self-esteem... 

The force was incredible. Tarou felt like his feet were going to be ripped from the rest of his body, he was spinning so fast. He could barely move a muscle from the G-force. He was going to lose...   
"This is it, Pantyhose boy!"   
No. He was not going to lose. He might have accepted losing (followed by a dunking and some severely obscene retribution afterwards). But not after being called _that_ name...   
Gathering every ounce of strength in his body, he put out one massive effort. "Think again, Pretty-boy!"   
Gritting his teeth, he managed to curl forwards and grab his foot with one hand. It seemed that all those pushups had been worth something after all. His other hand went to his waist.   
"What are you doing?!?" Azusa protested.   
Tarou somehow managed to chuckle evilly as he tied the final knot. "Just try and let go, cutesy-girl!!!"   
Azusa did. And failed. 

"_Incredible_! Tarou seems to have stalemated the Goodbye-Whirl! He had tied himself to Azusa Shiratori... with a set of pantyhose!!!"   
A good thing that he'd gotten the extra-stretch brand, Tarou reflected.   
"Azusa can't let go!"   
"I'm losing my grip!" Mikado protested. "Do something fast!"   
"Azuuuusa caaaan't!!!"   
Mikado lost his grip. 

The G-forces suddenly stopped. Tarou realized that he was heading towards the wall at speeds never meant for human beings. And he was tied to a really annoying girl with a set of (extra-stretch) pantyhose. This would have been really funny if it had been anyone else.   
For the briefest moment in time, everything was in extreme slow-motion. Tarou wasn't quite sure how that was, but he knew it was a popular fanfiction device, which probably justified it somehow...   
"Azusa's gonna die!!! Goodbye Pierre!!!"   
Tarou sighed. Sometimes sacrifices just had to be made...   
"Don't worry, Azusa, I'll protect you," he said calmly, slicing the pantyhose with his skate's blade.   
"Really?"   
"That's right," he said quietly. "I could never let a cute girl like you get hurt. I'll protect you no matter what..." 

Nabiki bit her tongue. This was it. Tarou had lost. Azusa would be out for the count too, but Mikado would be standing, making the Golden Pair the victor... she had completely lost. Money. Secrets. Reputation.   
She had always wondered what it would feel like to bet on a loser. Now she knew. 

"..._NOT_!!!"   
With every ounce of strength he possessed, Tarou yanked Azusa over his head towards the wall. This had the effect of reducing his own speed to near zero.   
**CRASH**   
It also had the effect of doubling Azusa's speed.   
Tarou rolled a few times, righting himself after shaking the dizziness from his head. He glanced behind him curiously. There was an Azusa-shaped hole clear through the wall. He thought back to the physics textbook he'd read. No, he had been wrong, he realized in a flash of inspiration. He probably weighed twice as much as Azusa. So in order to cancel out his speed, Azusa's speed had probably increased by a factor of _four_.   
Yes, sometimes sacrifices simply _had_ to be made.   
There was a brief moment of silence as the entire rink was forced to reevaluate the situation.   
It was finally broken by a single cry.   
"YAHOO!!!"   
Tarou turned quickly to see the source of the voice. It had come from the betting table. But no one was in sight... 

About ten feet away, Nabiki finally stood up, face still slightly red. She hadn't meant to yell _that_ loud. But damn, but she _had_ been right. Tarou hadn't let her down. It had been close, but he'd come through. No secrets revealed, but he'd come out   
on top. She would let it stand for the moment.   
After all, Tarou still had to deal with Mikado. 

"MY PARTNER!!!"   
"Don't worry," Tarou soothed. "I'll send her a get-well card." He chuckled, but it came out rather raspy. He had just about completely drained himself to pull that stunt off...   
Mikado's face took on a dangerous look. "No, I believe I'll ensure that the two of you share a hospital room..." 

********************* 

"Ugh..."   
Pain. Nausea. Dizziness. Ab cramps. A really bad stomach ache.   
"You're awake."   
Ranma groaned as he heard the voice. Awake? He supposed he was. He felt rather funny strange. Like his limbs wouldn't respond to his commands. As though they weren't his. He could feel them, but they couldn't feel him...   
"How are you feeling, Jasmine?"   
Jasmine. He was a girl too, he realized. "Like crap," he managed to reply.   
"You had a really bad bout of poisoning."   
She could recognize the voice now. Akane.   
"She'll be fine, Akane."   
A male voice. Ryouga, she thought.   
"How can you say that? She was _poisoned_!!!"   
"She's a martial artist. She'll be fine. I'm fine, aren't I?"   
"You're so heartless."   
"You have a gymnastic match this afternoon."   
"And you want me to win it, is that right? Well, I'm a little more concerned about my friend, alright?"   
"She'll be fine."   
"I'll believe that when I see it for myself."   
Ranma opened her eyes, managing to see that Akane was at one side of the bed she was on, Ryouga on the other. "Where... am I?"   
"Dr. Tofu's clinic," Akane replied. "You've been out for a few hours."   
A few hours. The skating match. Ranma desperately tried to force her limbs to move. "I gotta..."   
"Your friend is fighting the match," Ryouga replied. "Don't worry about it. He didn't seem to be worried."   
Tarou was fighting alone. Damn it. "I gotta help..."   
"I'm sorry, Jasmine. Dr. Tofu hit a shiatsu point. You won't be able to move for at least another hour, he said. Ryouga and I came to watch over you."   
Another hour. The match would be long over by then. It would probably be over by now. Tarou didn't have a chance on his own. The Dragon's Whisker... "No...!"   
"Don't worry, Jasmine. Tarou's a good fighter. Even Nabiki seemed to think he'll win. So don't worry. Just relax and get better, alright?"   
Nothing she could do, in other words. She would simply have to wait. Perhaps the match would be delayed that long. Then she could fight too. In the meantime...   
"How come you guys are here?"   
"I was worried about you," Akane replied. "Dr. Tofu said that you had four different poisons in you!"   
Four different poisons? "Who..."   
"It was Kodachi," Akane growled. "I'm going to make her pay for this in spades!"   
"Then you should go and start warming up," Ryouga muttered.   
"What do you care?" Akane demanded angrily.   
"I don't. Go warm up. I'll make sure Jasmine isn't disturbed."   
Akane still had her gymnastic match, Ranma realized. "You gotta get warmed up, Akane," she agreed. "I'll be okay."   
Akane reluctantly nodded. "Well, as long as you're okay."   
"Jus' fine."   
She nodded. "I hope Ranma is able to make the match. I want him to see me win this match!"   
If Tarou lost... "I'll let him know that if I see him."   
Akane smiled. "Thanks, Jasmine. You're so nice. I'll make Kodachi pay for this!"   
Ranma and Ryouga listened the rapidly fading footsteps in silence.   
Finally, Ranma broke the silence. "How come you're so mad at Ranma?"   
Ryouga was silent for a few moments. "That's none of your concern."   
"I'm gonna be showing you where he is, right? I just wanna know why you're so mad at him."   
"He... put me through hell. I'm going to return the favor if it's the last thing I did."   
Ranma couldn't remember ever having done something bad to Ryouga. Sure, they'd had those bread fights, but even Ryouga wouldn't take that to this extreme. "Well, what kinda hell? Ranma... never mentioned anything to me like that."   
"That's none of your concern."   
"What if he doesn't know either?"   
"He ran out on that duel. If he hadn't run out, none of this would have ever happened."   
"You mean you're still hung up on that stupid fight?"   
"It was a man-to-man fight!"   
"He waited three days! You can have your match as soon as you find him. What are you so angry about?"   
"That's none of your concern."   
"Like heck it isn't! You probably got lost trying to chase after him!"   
Ryouga flushed and looked away.   
"And you probably got in some mess while you were lost, right? And so you're getting mad at him for it? That's just stupid!"   
"He ran out on the fight..."   
"So have your fight with him now. But why d'you gotta be so mad with him?"   
"What's he to you?" Ryouga demanded. "Your boyfriend?"   
"Uh, no... we're just… really close."   
"I'm going to send Ranma to hell. And I'll do the same to anybody else who gets in my way."   
"And then what?"   
Ryouga shrugged. "And then I'll have my revenge on him."   
"And then what?"   
"I don't really do much except wander."   
Ranma sighed. Ryouga seemed to have changed a lot. But some things sure hadn't. "Don't you go to school anymore?"   
"No."   
"Cuz you can't find it, right? Why not go to school here or somethin'?"   
"It took me weeks to find Ranma's school the first time!"   
"So, I'll show you the way then."   
Ryouga looked a little uncertain. "I... can't worry about things like that. The only thing I care about is getting my revenge on Ranma!"   
"You got a one-track mind, you know that?"   
"You don't have a clue what I've been through!"   
"You won't tell me."   
"It's none of your concern."   
Ranma gave up for the time being. Ryouga was as stubborn as ever. Whatever had happened to make him so angry, it would have to remain a mystery. When Tarou got back with the Dragon's Whisker, Ranma would hash it out. And then he'd figure out what the heck had happened to make Ryouga so angry like this.   
_If_ Tarou got back with the Dragon's Whisker. 

****************** 

"_Ouch!_ Another devestating hit scored by Mikado! The tables seem to have been turned on Tarou now! How long can he hold up under this assault?"   
Tarou clambered to his feet in time to throw himself aside from another kick. His only saving grace right now was the clothing he wore. The scaled clothing was more than just a decoration. But even it was failing to protect him from Mikado's onslaught.   
One little glass of water... and he would still win the match.   
Tarou laughed weakly at the irony. He was fighting on a bed of frozen water, yet was unable to transform. If there was only some way to melt the ice... just a little.   
**CLANG**   
Tarou winced as the blade of Mikado's skate bounced off his left arm's bracer. The active half of the Golden Pair seemed to have taken his partners departure from the scene with less than amicable grace...   
"You can't win!" Mikado growled. "I'll teach you to mess with the Golden Pair!"   
"That'll be the day!" Tarou snarled, getting to his feet.   
"This is purely professional, of course," Mikado chuckled. "Considering the deceitful way you prevented your girlfriend from attended the match, depriving her of the chance to become the 1000th girl I've kissed..."   
"She isn't my fricken' girlfriend!"   
"So you _say_..."   
"Tell you what. Go date her. She's all yours, _trust_ me."   
"I shall do so after I dispose of you!"   
This announcer chose this moment to talk again. "Ladies and gentlemen, what's this?!? It seems Tarou's partner has arrived!!!"   
Silence as every single head turned to identify the partner...   
Mikado sucked in a breath. "Yes... she will do nicely, I think."   
Tarou stared. What on earth...   
"But wait," the announcer continued. "This isn't Jasmine, I think! Who is this newcomer, and will she be allowed to compete this late in the match?"   
Long brown hair. A skin-tight purple outfit. Long legs. And all the rest.   
A roar of approval resounded from the previously jaded male population of Furinken. Even the Kholkoz High grudgingly cheered their agreement.   
"The audience seems to approve," the announcer noted, "but will Mikado agree to this insertion of partners?"   
Mikado smirked. "Your partner, I see. I believe she will do quite nicely." He faced the newcomer. "Might I have the pleasure of your name, young lady?"   
The audience held silent.   
"Ukyou. Ukyou Kounji."   
Several shrieks of horror went up from the female half of Furinken, several actually fainting away at the realization.   
"What the hell are you doing here?" Tarou growled in disbelief.   
Ukyou coasted up to him. "Saving your butt, jackass. How you be stupid enough to lose your water bottle?"   
"Unlucky."   
"Hmph. Just stupid, I'd say. You're lucky I skate better than you do."   
"Would it have killed you to bring a glass of water out here?"   
"Be glad I even brought along a matching uniform, okay?"   
"Then make yourself useful!"   
Mikado coughed. "Shall we continue this match?"   
Ukyou smirked. "Oh yeah, let's continue it, jackass."   
Tarou staggered to his feet, doing an admirable job of pushing this development out of his mind. He just needed to get rid of Mikado. Once he got that Dragon's Whisker back, he could work on matching Ranma and Akane together. And then he   
could find Happousai… 

Nabiki was taking in this development with her usual passive interest. Inside, she was seething. Ukyou… a girl. Of course. She couldn't believe she hadn't seen it before. The slim build. The pretty-boy face. The absence from gym class. No adam's apple. The gruff way _she'd_ always talked.   
She clenched her fists. Familiar with the female body… no _doubt_. As for Tarou beating up a girl…   
Those two were _so_ dead, Nabiki swore vehemently. They would pay dearly for this charade if it was the last thing she did!   
A loud commotion in the crowd wasn't enough to grab her attention.   
The doorman being thrown into the rink barrier did the trick, though.   
Nabiki briefly eyed the fallen man before deciding the trajectory he had taken. Spinning around, she saw the reason behind the disturbance. Or rather _reasons_.   
**SMASH** "Tarou!"   
**CRUNCH** "Where Tarou?"   
"Argh!!!"   
"Help!!!"   
**CRACK** "Tarou?!"   
**SMASH** "Where Tarou?!"   
"Psychos!"   
"Run away!"   
Pretty standard response, really. Especially when up against two Chinese women, the first holding what appeared to be a quarterstaff in each hand, the second wielding a massive sword that had to be at _least_ five feet long. Not to understate the   
case, but both were _royally_ pissed.   
Nabiki blinked. What on earth…   
"Tarou!?"   
"Where?!"   
A faint smile began to appear on Nabiki's face. Fortune favored those who took advantage of it. And she owed Tarou. She waved and pointed to the ice rink. "Tarou's out there!"   
They eyed her suspiciously, but soon followed her gestures to the ice. Mikado was leisurely coasting towards Tarou and Ukyou, obviously intent on Ukyou.   
"Tarou!!!" "Tarou!!!" 

"Watch out for him. He's fast," Tarou muttered.   
"I saw that much. He sure took you down easy."   
"Bah, he's hurting too."   
"Not as much as you are. I'll distract him. If you get a chance, hit him."   
"_DIE_!!!"   
Tarou glanced upwards for a moment. His eyes bugged out even as he dove aside in the nick of time. Two quarterstaffs and a giant sword smashed down on the ice where he'd just been.   
"DAMN BITCHES!!!" he swore.   
Ukyou and Mikado had halted their approaches to take in the scene.   
"What on earth…"   
"Such lovely women," Mikado observed.   
Get lost, you stupid bitches!!! > Tarou yelled in Chinese.   
Time to die!!! > the woman with the sword growled.   
"What's going on, Tarou?" Ukyou demanded.   
"Stupid amazons!" he yelled.   
We're going beat you to a pulp and dunk you in the Spring of Drowned Worm!!! > the second woman threatened.   
I'll dunk you BOTH in the Spring of Drowned Man!!! Just come and try it!!! >   
"I don't believe I ever realized how lovely blue hair could be," Mikado decided, starting forwards.   
Ukyou rolled her eyes before returning to the important issue. Two Chinese women were trying to kill Tarou. Tarou was the only person who knew where Ranma was. Therefore she was going to have to help Tarou stay alive a little longer…   
A hard right fist to the head sent the woman with the sword sprawling, even as Ukyou blazed by on her skates.   
You'll die too! > the quarterstaff user decided, beginning to the spin the two weapons like over sized nunchuku, except faster.   
Ukyou sidled up alongside Tarou. "Who are they?"   
"LinLin and RanRan," he muttered in disgust. "I thought throwing them off that cliff would have done them in…"   
"Jackass. I can't believe I just picked a fight over _that_!"   
"They started it," he insisted. "Why didn't you bring any water out with you? It would really be useful about now."   
"How good are they?"   
"Pretty good. RanRan's the dangerous one."   
"Which one is she?"   
"They're identical twins aside from the hair color. She's got the quarterstaffs and blue hair. And half a brain."   
The aforementioned RanRan was even now making her way towards them. The ice wasn't affording her much traction, but she was being careful. And anyone who could spin quarterstaffs fast enough to reduce them to a blur probably had some degree of skill in using them…   
The other counterpart, with red hair and the oversized sword, was approaching now too. She didn't seem to be paying much mind to the ice.   
**THUD**   
Stupid! > RanRan muttered. It's ice. As in no traction. You're making a fool of yourself! >   
**WHOSH**   
HEY!!! >   
Mikado had made his move. "You shouldn't be on the ice without skates, gorgeous. But let _me_ teach you how to skate…"   
RanRan gave a look that would have melted stone. Put me down you imbecilic moron!!! >   
"Somehow I doubt Pretty-boy understands Chinese," Tarou chuckled. "Hey, Pretty-boy!"   
Mikado scowled. "What?"   
"Put my _girlfriend_ down NOW!!!"   
Mikado smirked. "Your girlfriend, is she? Then I shall rescue her from the likes of you…"   
Put me down or you'll-mmmmph >   
The announcer chose this time to enlighten everyone on the turns of events. "And it seem that Mikado has made his one-thousandth conquest! The debonaire skater has finally kissed one thousand girls!"   
Tarou chuckled evilly.   
And you say _I'm_ a flirt, RanRan… >   
A battle aura was beginning to flare around RanRan.   
"You can rest easily," Mikado said, completely oblivious. "I, Mikado Sanzenin, am your savior…"   
DIE!!! >   
"Yow!!!"   
**SMASH**SMASH**CRACK**   
Tarou and Ukyou sucked in a breath as they saw the quarter staffs carve chunks out of the ice like spoons in butter. Mikado seemed to have gotten clear of the melee, but was being rapidly pursued by the presently psychotic Chinese.   
LinLin was still heading towards them.   
Ukyou nudged Tarou. "Did she break through the ice?"   
"I don't know," he replied, "but I'm going to find out. Stall LinLin. She's not as smart as she looks."   
Ukyo bit her tongue. She hadn't planned on fighting pyschotic Chinese women. But it would only be for a few moments, hopefully.   
Tarou made all speed for the spot where RanRan had savaged the ice. Let the ice be thin enough… then he would end this fight before it got out of hand.   
**CRACK**   
A blow to the side sent Tarou reeling away from the destination.   
"Running away? I think not!" Mikado chuckled. "I have made my one thousandth conquest. Now, I shall finish you properly!"   
"Outta my way, Pretty-boy!!!"   
"Witness the terror of my personalized final attack!!!"   
Tarou chuckled. "Eww!!! I only like girls!!!"   
"See how flippant you are after a burial at sea!"   
With that, Mikado began to skate circles around Tarou. Literally.   
Tarou watched warily, finally realizing that he wasn't being attacked. Mikado was skating circles around him. Very quickly. What on earth…   
"It's Mikado Sanzenin's personalized techinque, Burial at Sea!!!" the announcer helpfully supplied. "This rink was built by freezing the surface of a pool! Skating around and around, Mikado will eventually cut right through the ice! And then Tarou is going to be dunked in the ice water!!!"   
Ukyou froze upon hearing that. A quick glance confirmed the announcer's statement.   
Tarou began to laugh evilly.   
Without another word, Ukyou began to run towards the rink's exit for all she was worth.   
Get back here!!! > LinLin yelled angrily, still waving her sword around when she wasn't slipping on the ice.   
Time to die, pervert!!! > RanRan yelled, still chasing after Mikado.   
**clink**   
Mikado backed off, a smirk evident on his face. "It's been a good fight. But I'm afraid, you're just a 'wet behind the ears' novice."   
Tarou realized that he was now standing on a floating circle of ice. "Yeah, been a good fight, Pretty-boy. Lights out for you!" With that, he shifted his weight to one half of the ice circle. A quick tip, and he was under water.   
"He went to his death with honor," Mikado decided, beginning to coast away. 

*Gasp**Pant**Wheeze*   
Nabiki eyed Ukyou with curiosity. "You certainly seem eager to run away now," she observed.   
Ukyou smirked as she regained her breath and began to watch the ice carefully. "Oh, I think you'll understand in a moment…"   
*clink**clink**clink*   
Nabiki stood up, watching the ice carefully. Tiny cracks were appearing throughout the ice. The entire surface was shifting…   
Suddenly the entire floor began to heave and pitch, throwing anybody to the ground who hadn't the luxury of a handhold.   
What's going on? >   
Ahhh!!! >   
"What on Earth…"   
A huge crack ripped down the center of the rink, as though a heavenly axe had taken a mind to splitting the rink into two pieces   
"Incredible folks! I can't explain it! The entire surface of the ice seems to be lifting up. What on earth is happening? Holy sh-"   
A huge spray of ice and water erupted from the center of the rink, as though a torpedo had punched up from below. Even as the audience scrambled to dodge the flying ice chunks and water, the inside edges of the two slabs of ice were pulled   
downwards, causing them to fold in upon themselves.   
As for the three people still on the ice…   
**CRASH**   
"OUCH!!! The people on the ice have been sandwiched by the two slabs of ice. This is absolutely unheard of!"   
Ukyou was just standing there, laughing quietly at the carnage of frozen water. "Temper, temper…"   
"What's going on?" Nabiki demanded in disbelief.   
Ukyou shrugged. "Tarou's winning the match."   
"Tarou's doing _this_?"   
Ukyou shrugged and walked away towards the girl's changeroom.   
Nabiki watched the boy-turned-girl leave the building. She… didn't think she quite understood everything that was happening. But she had realized one thing. Tarou hadn't been kidding about his victory being guaranteed. She didn't understand how someone - even a martial artist - could possibly tear apart an ice rink like that. She also didn't understand why he'd waited so long to do that. She was also annoyed that he'd managed to do it without her finding out how.   
She glanced at the water bottle. She would have to take what she could get. Perhaps it would yield some answers. She turned her gaze towards the table and smiled. And she had just made a complete fortune in betting. Answers could wait until another day. It hadn't been too bad a day, really.   
A loud crash near the men's washroom made her turn. Several moments later, someone casually walked out the doorway, whistling cheerfully.   
Tarou. His hair was damp and he was shivering slightly, no doubt from his dip in the ice water.   
Nabiki smiled thinly. "Well, I hope you're satisfied."   
"Not yet. Where's Pretty-boy?"   
"Probably at the bottom of the rink where you left him."   
Tarou smirked, looking over the edge of the rails. A huge hole in the side of the rink indicated his exit point, and had also allowed all the water to drain out. At the bottom, amidst the ice rubble, were the dazed forms of the two Chinese women and   
Mikado.   
Several quick hops brought him next to Mikado.   
"Alright, Pretty-boy," Tarou snarled, collaring the barely conscious skater. "That stupid hair ribbon! Give it to me!"   
Mikado tried to focus on his assailant. "Don't… have it. Stolen…"   
"I'm not buying that crap. Give it or you'll be in even _more_ pain!"   
"Stolen…"   
"That's right, you tell him, Tarou," Nabiki prompted, now standing in the new entrance to the bottom of the ice rink.   
"If I want your opinion, I'll give it to you. Get lost."   
"Don't mind me," she agreed. "I'm just curious how long Mikado will last before admitting that the Dragon's Whisker wasn't really stolen. I've got some bets riding on it. He's lasted thirty seconds so far. Can you drag it out for a few minutes more?"   
"Get lost."   
"Of course, of course. Later, Tarou-baby."   
Tarou turned back to Mikado. "Now where were we…?"   
"I don't have the hair ribbon! Somebody stole it, I swear it! Do you think I would have willingly put up with Azusa's whining for a week over that stupid thing?!"   
A valid point, Tarou admitted. "Quit calling it a hair ribbon-"   
Wait a minute. Everybody thought it was a hair ribbon. The only people who knew it was a Dragon's Whisker were himself and Ranma…   
"I've got things to do," he decided. "But first…"   
Without further ado, Tarou removed his second piece of pantyhose and proceeded to immobilize Mikado with it.   
"What are you doing?"   
"Just giving two people a little present…"   
Mikado grunted as he was unceremoniously dumped next to the other two unconscious forms. "What's the meaning of this?!"   
Tarou chuckled as he roughly nudged the blue-haired Chinese woman. "These two are ex-Amazons, you know. I think I'll let _them_ decide what to do with you."   
RanRan stirred. Ugh… what on earth… >   
She was on her feet in a moment, even as she saw the rapidly leaving form of Tarou. She almost pursued him, then thought better of it. She had lost her weapons, and her sister was still out for the count.   
"Don't leave me here!" Mikado begged.   
And he'd left a little present for her in the form of the pervert who'd _kissed_ her.   
RanRan cracked her knuckles. Payback time… >   
It was just as well that nobody was around to hear Mikado's screams. 

***************** 

Nabiki sighed in mild contentment as she finished counting the money she'd made off the betting. With Tarou fighting alone, an incredible amount of money had been bet on the Golden Pair. But she'd been right all along. Tarou's confidence hadn't   
been misplaced one bit. And her confidence in him hadn't been misplaced. And after hearing about the profit, her followers had grudgingly granted that perhaps she was as smart as she claimed to be.   
A pity he'd managed to avoid spilling any secrets, though. She'd already given the contents of the bottle to the school Chemisty Club. It had seemed to be water, but they would find out what it really was. She still had the bottle. A nifty little device, really. It had two compartments to it, each one accessible seperately. It was clearly more than a mere water bottle. She expected to get some results once the contents were analysed properly.   
A knock at the door made her turn. "Come in," she invited.   
Actually, the door was already opening before she'd granted permission, she noted with irritation. She would remember that for later.   
"_Nabiki-darling_."   
She raised an eyebrow. "Why, Tarou-baby, how nice to see you. Did you get the Dragon's Whisker back?"   
He chuckled evilly. "Why, no I didn't. That's why I'm here."   
"I beg your pardon?-ack!!!"   
Tarou was pinning Nabiki against the wall by her collar. "I'm not stupid, Nabiki. You're the only other person aside from myself and Jasmine that knows the proper name for that hair-ribbon. And I think your record suggests that you'd be able to steal it. So give it back before things get ugly and you join Pretty-boy and his Cutesy-girl."   
Nabiki maintained as much dignity as she could from her present position. So much for holding it for ransom. She had a nasty hunch that things _would_ get ugly if she didn't fess up immediately. So be it. "Alright, alright, yes, I did take it," she   
admitted.   
"The Dragon's Whisker?" Tarou demanded pointedly.   
"Put me down and I'll get it for you."   
Nabiki let herself breath again normally as her feet touched the ground. Acutely aware of Tarou's glare, she went over to her dresser and took out a small pouch. Fishing inside it, she pulled out the long strand. An innocent looking thing, and she still had no idea what it was for. It was clearly more than just a decoration, if Tarou wanted it so badly. It seemed that it would remain a mystery for now…   
Tarou snatched it from her. "You have no idea how close you are to becoming a nuisance, Nabiki. Next time, you're going to find out what I do to people who _really_ make me mad. Those Golden Twits got off easy, I assure you…"   
Without another word, Tarou stalked out of the room, pausing only to snatch his water bottle for Nabiki's desk. With a rough click, the door closed again.   
She narrowed her eyes. Tarou seemed to have evaded the bullet for the time being. But he hadn't gotten off freely. She now understood a few things about Ukyou. There was the 'water' in his bottle. And her contact would surely be able to dig up some information on him. Then she would find out his weaknesses and put him in his place for good.   
Of course, she had plenty of other things to investigate. Those two Chinese women would bear some watching. If they were against Tarou… perhaps something could be worked out for their mutual benefit. She would be patient. They seemed stubborn enough. They would no doubt show themselves again. 

********************* 

A knock at the door.   
Ranma and Ryouga looked at each other. Dr. Tofu wouldn't have knocked…   
"Come in," they chorused.   
It was a solemn faced Tarou that stepped. "Jasmine," he greeted.   
Ranma tried to glean some expression from the face, but failed. "Well…"   
"Could… Jasmine and I talk alone for a moment?" Tarou asked, Ryouga.   
Ryouga looked like he wanted to press the issue, but reluctantly, nodded, leaving the room.   
As soon as the door closed, Ranma was staggered from the bed. The paralysis point was wearing off now, it seemed. "Well?"   
Tarou put his finger to his mouth. "Shh… don't say anything, Fem-boy! I went through a lot of trouble to get this for you!"   
Without further ado, he held out the Dragon's Whisker. "Put it on and we'll see if it's the real thing."   
"So you won?"   
"Of course I did, Fem-boy. Unlike you, _I'm_ competant."   
Ranma would normally have begun a fight, but the Dragon's Whisker had a much higher priority right now. To be a man again…   
A quick braiding, and he now sported a red verrsion of his normally black pigtail. "Any hot water?"   
Tarou took out his thermos and opened one end, splashing Ranma with it.   
Ranma gapped as he felt his body filling out to it's original dimensions. A huge smile lit up his face.   
Tarou clapped his hand over Ranma's mouth. "No noise! Otherwise you'll let Ryouag know about your curse."   
Ranma nodded silently, trying to figure out what he should do next.. He needed to deal with Ryouga, of course. But Akane had been hoping to see him at the match…   
"I need to get to the gymnastics match," he whispered. "Can you delay Ryouga? Tell him… I'll meet him tonight for sure."   
Tarou nodded, smiling inwardly. Simply beautiful. Ranma was already going to score some points with Akane. He was truly a genius. After he got his new name, he'd become a marriage counsellor or something.   
Ranma quietly slipped open the window and leapt out, bursting into a fast run towards St. Hebereke High School. Tarou watched him go. Now to delay Ryouga for a bit. Putting on his most solemn expression, he left the room   
Ryouga was nowhere to be seen.   
Tarou looked around for a few moments without success. Oh well. That would be delay enough. Umbrella-boy and Ranma could hash it out another time. As long as it didn't interfere with Ranma and Akane's getting together. 

********************** 

"Ohh!!! The challenger is being put to the test now! How long can she keep up this effort?"   
Akane steadied herself with the rope, breathing heavily. This was insane. Even after seeing Jasmine and Ryouga fighting it out, her current opponent was taking the sport to all new levels of insanity. Only the cheers of her school friends were keeping her going now. That and the thought of having to go home, the loser.   
And the thought of facing Ranma. She would force him to admit she was a good fighter. She would make him respect her if it killed her!   
"Give up now!" Kodachi laughed, twirling her ribbon around casually. "You are no match for the Black Rose!"   
"We'll see about that!" she growled, lashing out with her ribbon.   
Kodachi leapt around it easily, her own ribbon snaking out towards Akane.   
Akane barely managed to catch the ribbon with her free hand. With all her strength, she yanked back on it.   
Kodachi let the ribbon go. Akane was slow, but a baton driven through a corner post had attested to the fact that she possessed a strength advantage. Which wasn't really doing much for her in this type of fighting, unfortunately.   
"Witness the attack of a thousand clubs!" she yelled, charging Akane.   
Akane was barely able put up her arms to knock aside the first few clubs. The rest all hit her dead on.   
With an undignified crash, she was sent sprawling on the ground, body screaming with pain.   
"Pathetic!" Kodachi crowed.   
Akane gasped as she tried to stand up. Her entire body felt numb. This was bad. She was losing… losing badly.   
"Come on, 'kane! Kick her butt!!!"   
Akane froze upon hearing the voice. No…   
Almost frightenedly, she turned towards the source. It was him.   
Ranma. And he was watching her. Watching her lose.   
This was a nightmare. She was going to lose in front of him. She would be living this down for the rest of her life. He would never take her seriously again after this…   
"Geez, use that brute strength for somethin'!" Ranma yelled.   
"Shut up!" she yelled, managing to get to her feet again.   
"Oh, the weed has risen up again," Kodachi laughed. "This time I'll exterminate it for good!"   
"What are you waiting for, Akane? Kick her butt!"   
"Shut up!" she yelled. "I can't concentrate!"   
"You can't concentrate at all!" he yelled back. "All you got is brute strength goin' for ya!"   
Akane's face burned bright red. Who did he think he was? Insulting her in the middle of a match! Was he trying to kick her when she was down? She'd… she'd show him!!!   
"The final blow!" Kodachi shrieked, descending with a gymnastics baton.   
"I'll show you BRUTE STRENGTH!!!" she yelled furiously.   
**RIP**   
**BONG**   
**THUD**   
A collective gasp went up from the crowd as a body hit the mat, completely limp.   
"Ouch."   
Akane slowly turned to face the one speaker, her arms holding the corner of the ring like a giant baseball bat. Ranma. Who else?   
"Whoa. I guess you sure showed her 'brute strength'."   
Akane began to raise the bat again. The wise cracking, conceited jerk…   
"That's was a pretty cool move," Ranma continued, still oblivious to her anger. "But you gotta work on your speed more."   
Akane let the bat sink down. He was _still_ a jerk. But he _had_ complemented her, sort of. She would let this one go for now.   
The announcer finally found his voice. "And in a surprise, never-before-heard-of move, the challenger has knocked out Kodachi with a ring corner post! Akane Tendou is the winner!"   
A resounding cheer went up from the crowd as the referee raising Akane's arm in victory, putting a trophy in her other hand. Akane's face was red again, but this time there was a smile on her face. She'd won the match. And Ranma had even seen her do it…   
Ranma was there to meet her when she stepped out of the ring. "Hi," was all he said.   
"So you got back from your training trip?" Akane asked.   
He flushed. "Uh, yeah. Just a few minutes ago, actually."   
"Oh really? Did Jasmine tell you about the match?"   
"Uh, yeah, she did."   
"Is she feeling okay?"   
"Y-yeah, she's feeling just fine. She, um, left the clinic. I don't know where she is right now."   
"Well, I'll find her later on and thank her. So how was your training trip?"   
"Uh… it was pretty good. I learned a lot of new stuff."   
"I learned lots of new things too."   
"I… noticed. That's… pretty good."   
Akane could feel herself practically glowing with pride. Ranma had complimented her!   
"Congratulations, Akane."   
They turned to face Tarou as he approached the two.   
"Tarou," Akane greeted. "How did the skating match go…"   
"Oh, I won," he replied easily. "They never really had a chance to begin with."   
"You were getting your butt kicked at the end."   
Tarou glared daggers as Ukyou approached the group, now dressed in considerably more feminine clothing that she had normally worn. "Who asked you?"   
She ignored him, turning to face Ranma. "Ranma?"   
Ranma blinked. "Uh, yeah, that's me. We met before?"   
Tarou refrained from laughing. Fem-boy was stupider than he'd thought. "Ranma, I'd like you to meet someone. This is Ukyou Kounji."   
Ranma blinked again. "Huh?"   
"Ukyou Kounji," Ukyou restated, waiting expectantly.   
Ranma looked at them strangely. "You think I'm stupid or something? Ukyou's a guy, man. _She_ is definitely a girl."   
Ukyou had gone into shock. Tarou said a prayer of thanks. "Of course, my error. Must be a case of mistaken identity.   
"You want to go out for sodas?" Akane asked. "Since we both won our matches?"   
"That sounds like a good idea," Tarou agreed. He would stick close to the two for this brief time, just to make sure Ranma 'arrived back home' without any suspicion.   
"You're a friend of Tarou's?" Akane asked Ukyou. "Would you like to come with us?"   
Ukyou shook her head, still in a daze. "N-no… that's alright. I… I have to get home now. Catch you another time."   
"See you later," Tarou agreed. Perfect. The way things stood, any anger Ukyou still had would be directed at Genma, which would serve to keep Ranma looking innocent, especially in Akane's eyes. 

********************* 

The three made their way to a local soda shop, each ordering their preference.   
"These are hard to find in China," Tarou observed, sipping his soda.   
"I'll bet," Akane agreed. "So where are you from, anyway?"   
"Not really anyway. I've been traveling so long, _I've_ forgotten."   
"Wow. That must be incredible. So you actually won the skating match?"   
"I'll bet you cheated," Ranma muttered.   
Tarou looked insulted. "I just used a secret technique to end the match. You'll probably read about it in the papers tomorrow."   
"What kind of technique?" Ranma asked/begged.   
"It wouldn't be a secret technique if I told you, would it?"   
"Well… I can keep a secret."   
"That'll be the day," he scoffed. "Whoever marries you will never have to worry about you lying to her, because you couldn't lie to save your life!"   
Ranma was about to retort when they were interrupted. Violently.   
**CRASH**   
All three turned to face the souce of the noise. Someone had just broken down the wall to the soda shop. It was a Chinese woman, wielding two giant bonbourri.   
"RANMA!!! I KILL!!!"   
Ranma turned pale upon recognizing her. "Shampoo!"   
**CRASH**   
Another wall had just been destroyed.   
All three turned to face the source of the new disturbance. It was two Chinese women, a red-headed one wielding a giant sword, the other with blue hair and two staffs.   
"TAROU!!! WE KILL!!!" 


	12. Three's a Crowd

Tarou 1/2   
A Fanfic by Intrasonic 

Chapter 11: Three's a Crowd 

"TAROU!!! WE KILL!!!"   
Tarou groaned. "Hi LinLin. Hi RanRan. Short time, no see." He looked over towards Ranma. "Fem-boy. Would you mind telling me why you have an Amazon chasing after you, trying to _kill_ you?"   
"Well, how come you got TWO of 'em trying to kill you?"   
Ordinarily, a rather violent melee would have ensued, possibly interrupted by the appearance of a giant minotaur and a lot of subsequent property damage.   
Except that the two new groups noticed each other.   
Shampoo's eyes narrowed. Who are you? >   
The blue-haired one glared back. None of your business, Amazon!>   
  
The red-haired one didn't seem quite as angry, offering a polite bow. "Greetings. I am LinLin. This is-umph!!!"   
The other had just clapped her hand over LinLin's mouth. Shut up, idiot!!! >   
Shampoo lunged at them. Death to all traitors!!! >   
The other two split up, their own weapons coming to bear.   
A third wall was holed by Shampoo's initial attack, even as her other bonbourri blocked a quarter staff attack by RanRan. A sword sweep was jumped, the first bonbourri now attacking again.   
Tarou said a prayer of thanks as he got out of his seat. "Let's go!" he suggested.   
The other two were in complete agreement.   
They didn't stop running until they'd ducked into an alleyway.   
"Who were they?" Akane asked in disbelief.   
The other two glanced at each other warily, obviously having some idea.   
"Well?" Akane asked insistantly.   
"Dangerous," Tarou replied. "Akane, you should get home. Ranma and I will deal with them, alright?"   
"I can take care of myself!" she protested.   
"You're still worn out from the match," Tarou pointed out. "Ranma and I are in good condition. Besides, this involves some tricky legal matters."   
Akane gave him a blank look.   
"Get home," Tarou ordered. "I need to talk with Fem-boy here." The look on her face suggested otherwise, but Akane reluctantly acquiesced.   
Once she was out of the way, Tarou proceeded to collar Ranma. "Alright, Fem-boy! Start talking! Why's that Amazon trying to kill you?"   
Ranma glared back. "How come those two are trying to kill you?"   
"They're not Amazons. What about you? This doesn't involve a Kiss of Death or Love, does it?"   
"I beat up Shampoo in my girl form. I didn't know about that stupid Kiss of Death stuff until after. What's the Kiss of Love?"   
"Don't worry about it," Tarou retorted. "Just stay away from cold water, got it?"   
"What about those two?"   
"They're part of a stupid cult or something. They're too stupid to know their betters, that's all. I threw them off a cliff the last time we met. I guess they survived."   
"You threw them off a cliff?!?"   
"Well, they wouldn't leave me alone, okay? I'll find a higher cliff this time. I'll get rid of Shampoo too."   
"You can't do that!"   
"Why not?"   
"Well… she's a girl."   
Tarou gave a look that clearly indicated what he thought of _that_ response. "_You_ turn into a girl, Fem-boy. You gotta get rid of those stupid ideas. Or I'll toss _you_ off a cliff with them. Shampoo is trying to kill you. Therefore you try to kill her back. Am I clear? Now how good is she?"   
"Pretty good. I'm better."   
"Then your problem is solved. Find a cliff and-"   
"I ain't doing that! Besides, she'll go away if she doesn't find my girl-form, right. She never saw me as a guy."   
Not nearly as convenient, but it was a good second place plan, Tarou decided.   
For now. "Fine. Be that way. Leave the other two alone. And do _not_ let them see you change forms, alright?"   
"I ain't lettin' anybody see it!"   
"I'm glad we agree."   
"Why do you care, anyway?"   
He would ask that question, Tarou grumbled inwardly. "Because anything involving Amazons is something I don't feel like having around here! The last thing I need is to deal with them at school or something, right?"   
A tremendous crash made them peer around the corner worriedly. The entire soda shop had seemingly collapsed upon itself.   
"Well, I guess it was bound to happen after the third wall got knocked out," Tarou observed sagely.   
"Are they still in there?" Ranma asked.   
A loud crash indicated that someone was very much alive and well in the building. A large slab of concrete was hefted up and pushed aside as Ranma's would-be killer appeared, bonbouri still in hand.   
"Tough little girl," Tarou chuckled.   
Shampoo spotted them almost immediately, closing the distance immediately. "Where Ranma?" she demanded, narrowing her eyes a bit as she looked at Ranma suspiciously.   
Tarou smiled thinly. And you are? >   
Shampoo started as it finally occurred to her that she was looking at someone Chinese. I am Xian Pu. I am here to find a young woman named Ranma. She has red hair and is about _this_ tall. I have trailed her to this place. Where is she? >   
Tarou sighed. I know who you're talking about, Xian Pu. Her name is not Ranma, however. Her name is actually Jasmine. _Ranma_ is this young man with me. She must have used an assumed name. >   
Shampoo narrowed her eyes suspiciously. Why should I believe you? >   
Tarou shrugged. Then ignore me and go on trying to find a red-haired girl named Ranma. Anyone in Japan will tell you that Ranma is a man's name. I don't really care. I was only trying to be helpful. >   
Then where can I find her? >   
If you ask around, you'll learn that she was around until recently. She is on a training trip, I understand. She likes to head to the North of the city on occasion. >   
"Then Shampoo wait till come back! She have other to kill!"   
Tarou smiled. "Those lousy Amazon traitors?"   
"That them."   
"I wish you all the best. They should still be in the wreckage of the building, actually. They're obviously not as strong as you are."   
"No one as strong as Shampoo!"   
"Actually-"   
Tarou hit Ranma in the gut to make him shut up. "I don't doubt it. Ranma, we'd better get back home. Wish the lady the best."   
Ranma was still looking a little nervous. "Uh, good luck, Shampoo."   
Shampoo eyed them both with disdain as she stormed back towards the building, clearly intent on excavating the other two.   
"We can't just let her-"   
Tarou elbowed Ranma "Yes we can! Those stupid girls will kill each other on their own and we'll be in the clear again. It's perfectly legal for us and much easier. Let's go before the fighting starts."   
Ranma bit his tongue, but his sense of self-preservation won out and he followed Tarou home. 

Shampoo heaved aside a slab of rock. Where are you, traitors?! >   
She ducked just in time. A sword slashed through the air where her head had just been. A well-placed bonbouri knocked aside the second swing, giving her a chance to back up to face one of the other two Chinese girls.   
A faint battle aura was visible as the red haired warrior levelled her giant sword. That HURT!!! > LinLin yelled. I tried to be nice, and you tried to hurt me! >   
No, I tried to KILL you, > Shampoo corrected smugly. I won't mess up this time, don't worry. >   
Just try it, Amazon! > a second voice threatened, stumbling out of the wreckage. You can't take us both at the same time! >   
Shampoo eyed RanRan as she brandished her two quarterstaffs. She knew she was better than either of them. She _was_ the tournament's champion, after all. Only that miserable redheaded Japanese girl... You're both in much worse shape than I am. I think I'll take the chance! >   
You touch us and you'll have to Jusenkyou Preservation Society to answer to!!! > RanRan shot back. You're not so tough when you're not in your home village. You think you'll stand a chance when they come to avenge us? Assuming you can even beat us. >   
Shampoo bit her tongue. She knew the rumors. Mostly folk tales of course, but even still... Get lost now and I might forget I saw you. >   
We have a mission here. >   
I do too. And I'll get rid of you if I have to! >   
We'll kick your ass! > LinLin snarled.   
RanRan waved her quarterstaff impatiently. Now now, LinLin. I'm sure Xian Pu is reasonable enough to see that it benefits no one to fight it out here. We can't risk letting our target escape through our failure. And she can't risk losing to us and being unable to fulfill her own Kiss of Death. Therefore I think all three of us are smart enough to see that our lives would be much simpler if we forgot we saw each other... >   
A truce, > Shampoo agreed reluctantly. She had not lost the fact that the blue-haired one seemed to know more than a little bit about her... In this city. >   
Nice to see that you're reasonable, > RanRan agreed with a smirk. Come sister. We've got a criminal to kill. >   
Shampoo watched them head off silently. She hadn't counted on running in to _them_ all the way out here. Perhaps it was just as well that there was a truce in effect. As much as it galled her to admit it, she was already dealing with one opponent who had managed to best her in combat. Not having to deal with those two would make the task a lot easier. 

******************* 

Akane was waiting for Tarou and Ranma when they arrived back home. And she wanted some answers. "Well? How come those crazies were trying to kill you two?"   
"A case of mistaken identity," Tarou sighed. "The one is a Chinese Amazon. Nasty little-" He stopped himself. "At any rate, she's chasing after Jasmine. Jasmine obviously used the name 'Ranma' while she was there. Shampoo's got the matter cleared up, though. Just stay out of her way if she comes around, alright?"   
"What about Jasmine?" Akane asked worriedly.   
"Oh, she can take care of herself," Tarou assured her. "Shampoo will probably never even find her around here."   
"What about the other two?"   
Tarou made a face. "Stay away from them. They're both very dangerous and crazy in the head. They seem to think I'm a criminal or something. Just a bunch of sore losers."   
"Well, I'd be mad if I got chucked off a cliff too," Ranma muttered.   
Yes, he still wasn't sure how the two had survived that, Tarou idly reflected. "They didn't leave me much choice," he retorted. "I tried talking some reason into them first, alright?"   
Well, he _had_. For about two seconds, anyway. 

*************** 

Nabiki smiled thinly as she listened in on the conversation. She shouldn't have been surprised, really. A person like Tarou was bound to tick a few people off. It seemed that two of them had caught up him finally...   
She frowned. Had Ranma been joking about them being thrown off a cliff? She wasn't sure if Tarou was capable of that. Weren't martial artists supposed to practice non-violence theories or something like that? Tarou clearly didn't shy away from fights. But he didn't seem to be _that_ extreme.   
Then again, she didn't know much about him.   
The phone rang, jolting her from her thoughts. She deliberated on picking it up, but the conversation down below had clearly stopped.   
"Hello?"   
*Nabiki Tendou?*   
"Speaking."   
*We've analysed that water sample you gave us.*   
"Excellent. So what's the deal on it?"   
*It was remarkably easy to analyse, really.*   
Self-centred idiot. "I'm _so_ happy for you. The details?"   
*As I was saying, it was very easy to analyse. That's because it's nothing but common tap water.*   
Nabiki coughed. "Excuse me? You can't be serious."   
*I'm very serious. We've run every conceivable test. It contains some trace minerals, minute amounts of purifying chemicals, the same you'd find from any tap in this part of the city.*   
"I refuse to believe that. He actually had a specially designed water bottle for it! Two compartments!"   
*Yes. The two samples you gave us were from different halves, I presume. Well, one sample was warmer than the other. Both were inconsistent with room temperatures, so I have a hunch that one sample may have been slightly chilled, while the other may have been quite hot.*   
"There has to be more to it than that."   
*Nothing more. We've done every single test we can think of, with a few random tests just in case. It's completely normal tap water."   
Nabiki cursed inwardly. And she'd been so hopeful... "Right. Thank-you for your efforts."   
*Click*   
Nabiki hung the phone up dejectedly. Just another stupid wrench in her attempt to figure Tarou out. What sort of idiot was he to carry around both hot and cold water? But there _had_ to be some significance to it all...   
She dialled a number on her phone letting it ring a few times before someone picked it up.   
*Hello?*   
"About the information I asked you get on Tarou?"   
*I'm still searching. Nothing much has turned up yet on anything you've given me. He's tricky. But I haven't exhausted all my sources yet.*   
"Keep trying. I have a few small tidbits you might be interested in. Firstly, that water bottle had nothing but hot and cold tap water in it."   
*I don't expect that to help much.*   
"Work with it anyway. He got really freaked out when he lost the bottle. It must be important for some reason."   
*From what I heard, he destroyed the ice rink without it. Any idea on that?*   
"Nothing. He was underwater when he did it. I have no idea how he did it, but I don't think it was an isolated incident. But I have something else that might be more useful. He's got two Chinese women after him."   
*The one's that attacked him during the match?*   
"Those are the ones. Their names are LinLin and RanRan. They seem to think he's a criminal for some reason. And Tarou admits to tossing them off a cliff on another occasion. I don't think he expected them to survive. I don't have much reason to doubt he's telling the truth."   
*I'll work with that.*   
"And one more thing. He used a herbal poison on his partner. The plant came from the Bayankala region of China, Dr. Tofu says. See if that helps any.*   
*That will give me a few leads to work from.*   
"Good luck. I need some results soon."   
*Click*   
Nabiki sighed. Well, she would have to hope for the best. 

******************* 

Tarou idly entered the kitchen wondering what he could find to amuse himself while he waited for something interesting to happen. As he expected, Kasumi was busy preparing supper for the household.   
"Good afternoon, Kasumi," he greeted, bowing slightly.   
Kasumi giggled slightly. "Good afternoon, Tarou. Congratulations on winning your skating match."   
"Oh, it was nothing, really. A few surprises, but I've dealt with worse."   
Akane rushed into the kitchen, Ranma non-challantly following behind. "Hey, Kasumi, did you hear the news yet?"   
Kasumi smiled, as always. "Why yes, I heard you won your gymnastic tournament this afternoon."   
Tarou chuckled. Who would have ever guessed at that? "Yes, Akane deserved the win, I'd say. She certainly worked hard for it, isn't that right, Ranma?"   
A brief moment of silence.   
Tarou hit Ranma on the head. "Wouldn't you say so?" he repeated warningly.   
Ranma smiled weakly. "Uh, yeah. You... um, really gotten better, 'kane."   
Akane beamed at the compliment. "Thanks! Say, you want to spar a little before supper? Jasmine taught me a lot of stuff while you were gone."   
"I dunno-"   
Tarou jabbed Ranma in the side. "You two look like you need to unwind," he agreed. "Why not work a little steam off?"   
"I guess so..."   
"Great!" Akane agreed, already headed upstairs. "I'll get into some better clothes for it!"   
Ranma gave Tarou a strange look, which Tarou returned with an innocent one. "That's very nice of you, Fem-boy. I'm sure Akane got a lot better while you were gone on your training trip."   
Ranma bit his tongue to keep from saying the first thing that came to his mind. Instead, "What's your problem?"   
"Why, nothing at all," Tarou replied cooly. "I'm just doing a good deed and helping you act polite to the Tendous, who have been nice enough to shelter you and your father free of cost."   
Ranma glared daggers at Tarou before leaving the kitchen.   
"Anything I can help with?" Tarou inquired of Kasumi.   
"Well, I do need the vegetables chopped..."   
"Say no more," Tarou agreed, grabbing a knife and spinning it around casually. "It's the least I can do for such a hard-working young lady like yourself."   
"Oh my!" Kasumi blushed.   
"Your sister certainly seems to be dedicated to the martial arts," he commented.   
"Well, she's been training since the age of six. Father is very proud of her."   
"As he should be." Aside from the fact that Akane just plain _sucked_ at fighting.   
"You're a very good martial artist too," Kasumi added.   
"Well, I've been training all my life in China," Tarou agreed. "Things can get dangerous sometimes." What with stupid ex-amazons chasing you all over the place.   
"Is Jasmine alright?"   
"She's fine now," Tarou assured her. "She just had a nasty dose of poison, that's all."   
Kasumi smiled. "That's nice to hear. I was almost worried when I saw you and Nabiki both poisoning the food this morning."   
Tarou coughed, his knife missing his own hand by half an inch. "Excuse me?"   
"You and Jasmine are always play-fighting," Kasumi went on with a smile. "I had no idea you play-poisoned each other too..."   
He managed a weak smile. "Y-yes... well, we try to keep each other on our toes like good martial artists."   
"That's so sweet."   
Tarou returned the smile, cringing inwardly. He couldn't believe he was hearing this. He didn't know which scared him more. That Kasumi had seen him and Nabiki both plant the poisons or that she didn't seem to realize the point behind it. Scary... 

****************** 

How come we didn't beat her up!? >   
Shut up and listen to me. >   
LinLin was still holding her sword menacingly. Just across from her, RanRan was waiting patiently, her quarterstaffs both holstered.   
I'll start talking as soon as you calm down, > RanRan admonished.   
LinLin reluctantly put away her sword. Fine. >   
Good. Now first of all, the outcome was too risky. That was Xian Pu. She's been trained under Kho Lon herself. You get the picture? She'd probably kick our asses on an individual basis. And we were probably worse off after the building fell on us than she was. Once we're fully rested, we'll have much better odds at beating her. >   
LinLin smiled. And then we kill her? >   
Only if she becomes a problem. It's not as if the Amazons have much reason to like us, right? Killing their top fighter isn't going to endear us to them, correct? >   
They won't get mad at us if they don't know who killed her. >   
RanRan smirked. That's why I'm keeping the option open. But we'll honour the truce for now. And I'm pretty sure Xian Pu will too. And if you see that girl she's chasing after, be nice. Anyone who can take her out has to be a good fighter. Probably better than the two of us put together. >   
I wonder if she could kill Tarou? >   
I don't know. Tarou was better than the two of us last time. And he didn't even have to use his cursed form. We're going to use some different tactics this time. Xian Pu has given me an idea. Just pay attention and act polite. >   
Why? What are we doing? >   
We're going to find a place to stay. And I've already picked out the place. >   
Really? We get a roof and a bed? >   
Well, a roof, anyway. If we're lucky, a bed. >   
Where? >   
It's called the Tendou Dojo. And it's where Tarou's staying. > 

******************* 

Nabiki smiled thinly as she peered over the edge of her book, looking beyond the immediate pages. She was seated at the couch, looking rather innocent to most of the world. Well, really, she wasn't doing anything particularly devious at the moment.   
Actually, she was bored out of her mind, waiting for something to happen to break the stalemate she had with Tarou. She'd annoyed him. Without quite understanding how, she had a hunch she'd almost backed him into a corner with the ice-skating business. But he'd slipped through the cracks and was back in full form.   
And a very nice form it was, she decided, watching the present bane of her life exercise in the backyard. She was no martial artist, but you didn't go to Furinken High without learning a little. You didn't schedule betting on the fights without learning to judge a winner. And had the past few weeks not enlightened her to the fact already, she could tell just from a glance that Tarou was good. Very good.   
He was presently skipping around the backyard in a macabre dance that was not only smooth and precise, but extremely fast. Her eyes were barely able to swivel in their sockets fast enough at times. More than Akane had ever shown off. Kunou had obviously been shown up. And she had a hunch that Ranma or Jasmine would be hard pressed to match the performance as well. She wondered how the Chinese women would measure up...   
The two newcomers obviously had gotten the short end of the stick at one point. But what about the one that was after Jasmine? If she was good enough to make Jasmine worry, then that clearly meant something, didn't it? Perhaps she should try to get in touch...   
A loud knock at the door sounded, Kasumi already headed to answer it.   
"Why, hello," she greeted.   
"Greetings," a Chinese accented voice replied.   
"You look very nice," another voice added.   
Kasumi giggled. "Why thank-you. I don't believe we've met though..."   
"I RanRan. This twin sister, LinLin."   
"I'm Kasumi. Nice to meet you."   
"We in town. We want know if can..." a brief pause, as though she was searching for the right word. "...board. We pay."   
Nabiki's ears perked up at that. The two who were after Tarou. And they wanted to board here? They were either more confident than she'd thought, or else...   
"Well, I don't know," Kasumi said worriedly. "We're rather crowded these days..."   
Nabiki appeared beside Kasumi. "Now, now, Kasumi. It wouldn't do to be rude to a pair of nice girls like them. Perhaps I can work something out with them?"   
Kasumi smiled. "Well, if you think so... I'll let you decide."   
"Thanks, big sister. Don't you worry about anything."   
Kasumi left smiling. It was nice that Nabiki was learning to show more hospitality towards others, she decided.   
Nabiki eyed the two Chinese-women. They were about her height, although she had to admit they had more than a few points on her where figure was concerned. Not quite to extent of Jasmine, but definitely very photogenic. She knew their names already. RanRan was the one with the blue hair. Baby-blue would perhaps be more accurate, actually. LinLin was the red-haired one, although pink might be a better word in this case. If they were twins like Nabiki suspected, their identical hairstyles only served to heighten that impression. "And you two would be LinLin and RanRan?"   
The blue-haired one nodded. "I RanRan. You..."   
"Nabiki Tendou. I couldn't help but overhear that you were interested in boarding here for a cost..."   
RanRan nodded.   
LinLin nodded too. "You look very nice-"   
The first cut her off. "LinLin shut up now. We talk business now, not pleasure."   
"Oh. Sorry."   
Nabiki decided that it was rather obvious who had the brains between the two of them. "Yes, yes. You're looking for boarding. I assume this is all part of a plan to kill Tarou or something like that?"   
"Why you think that?"   
"Because you tried to attack him during the skating match and you tried to attack him at the soda shop. And because I don't think that sword is just a big butter knife. Twice in a day? I'm not stupid, okay?"   
RanRan grimaced. "You want make something of it?"   
"Oh yes, I'd love to," Nabiki agreed. "I think we've got room for you two. I can't promise a very big room, but I think we can work something out."   
The two exchanged faint smiles at that.   
Nabiki was smiling too. "But first, I think we ought to talk a little. Just so we understand each other properly. Why don't you come in?"   
"Where Tarou?" RanRan demanded.   
"Out back."   
"Stay quiet, LinLin."   
Nabiki quietly led the two upstairs to her room, shutting the door behind her. "Alright, you two. Let's hear the story."   
"Story?"   
"Yes. Like, why you have it out for Tarou? He says that you think he's a criminal."   
"He is!" LinLin growled. "He do bad, bad things!"   
"Like what?"   
"Not your business," RanRan informed her. "Secret."   
Nabiki considered pressing the point, but decided against it. "Alright, be that way. So what exactly is the idea behind living under the same roof as him?"   
"Make angry. Keep eye on." RanRan replied. "He not start a fight. Only finish if we start."   
"I see. So what will that accomplish?"   
RanRan smiled. "Someone else here who do dirty work."   
"I see. Any particular details I might be able to help with?"   
"Why you no like Tarou?"   
"I have my own problem with him, alright? Let's just leave it at that."   
"Is fair," RanRan agreed. "Tarou very strong fighter."   
"I saw that much," Nabiki agreed. "Would you two happen to know how he managed to rip apart the ice rink like that?"   
They looked at each other for a few moments before looking back. "No idea," they chorused.   
_Rrrrright._ "Be that way," she muttered.   
"Secret," RanRan replied. "We need information."   
"That's what I deal with."   
"Red-hair girl who beat Shampoo. Where she?"   
Jasmine, in other words. Gossip had gotten around quickly. "Her name is Jasmine. She seems to be gone, but she was here for a week. She seems to be a friend of Tarou's. Any idea why this Shampoo girl hates her?"   
"Shampoo Amazon warrior. Jasmine beat Shampoo in fight. Shampoo try to kill to avenge honour."   
That make some sense, in a martial-artist sort of way. An honour grudge. That meant Shampoo would probably be around for a bit. "I see. I don't know where she right now, but I think she'll be back sooner or later."   
"Good," RanRan decided with a quiet laugh.   
"What are you planning?" Nabiki demanded.   
"Yes," LinLin agreed. "What sister doing?"   
"We no beat Tarou in fight," RanRan replied easily. "So we get stronger woman to."   
"Jasmine won't fight Tarou like that," Nabiki objected.   
RanRan laughed, standing up. "Not Jasmine-girl. Much strong woman. You see."   
Nabiki didn't like being left out, but the baffled look on LinLin's face gave her some small consolation knowing that she wasn't the only one. "So... where are you two from?"   
RanRan shrugged. "China."   
"No kidding. Your Chinese accent and looks kind of tipped me off on _that_ one. Could you be any more specific?"   
"We once Amazons before... how you say it?"   
"Kicked out?" Nabiki hazarded.   
"They not kick us," LinLin objected. "They try use spears and arrows."   
Nabiki nodded soberly. "Gotcha. So how good of fighters are you?"   
RanRan shrugged. "LinLin master of Steel Storm > style of fighting. Very good with all sharp things. She stronger fighter than me."   
Nabiki eyed the massive sword. It was as tall as the ex-amazon, double-edged and looked like it could cut more than just butter. Sharp things, _no kidding_. "What about you?"   
"I practice Demon-style. Anything-Go."   
"Anything-Goes?" Nabiki asked in surprise. "That's _our_ specialty!"   
"Then maybe I practice here. I only half Anything-Go. Other half is Amazon-style. That why I use weapon still."   
Nabiki turned her gaze to the two quarterstaffs that were presently strapped to the Amazon's back. They were a foot taller than the amazon, and as thick as her ankle. They were probably more than capable of giving a hard knock. She could only wonder at how the amazon was capable of spinning them single-handedly.   
Her memory moved back to the ice-rink scene. RanRan had actually carved pieces of the ice out with her staffs. And RanRan had claimed LinLin was the stronger fighter... She had a hunch that they were a sight better than either Akane or Kuno.   
"Well, it's nice to know you two can take care of yourself. So how were you planning on bring in this 'strong woman'?"   
"Wait. Need Shampoo to come. If Jasmine girl come, try to keep here."   
"The way Akane told me, you two don't get along."   
"We have truce in city. We not fight... for now."   
"Right. Just don't get into trouble. And speaking of trouble, let me give you a few hints. First, don't fight with Akane. You'll probably kick her butt, get her angry at you, and then my father will try to do the same thing that your Amazon buddies did, understand?"   
They nodded. "Who Akane?"   
"My younger sister. Long black hair. Lousy temper and a long time ago, she used to the be the best fighter in the city. Until all the other martial artists came by, anyway. Now, second suggestion. All fighting goes on outside, understand? Or you pay for repairs."   
RanRan shrugged. "I not plan for _us_ to fight..."   
Nabiki scowled. Stupid secrets... "Right, right. So make yourself at home like everybody else. I'll find a place for you two to stay."   
"Is good." "Is good."   
"A question," Nabiki added.   
"What?"   
"Is that his real name? Tarou?"   
RanRan shrugged. "Not say for sure. He call himself Tarou for many years. Think it real name. Never hear different name before."   
Nabiki sighed. Oh well. It had been worth hoping for. It seemed that Tarou had been honest enough to give his real name. "What about that pantyhose he wears? Do you know the reason for it?"   
The two shook their heads. "Not know. He very... how you say it?"   
"Touchy?"   
"Touchy about it," RanRan agreed. "He do... very bad thing to village that laugh at him..."   
"What kind of nasty thing?"   
They both shuddered visibly.   
"Secret," LinLin replied. "Very bad. Better die."   
Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "Worse than _dying_?"   
They nodded wordlessly.   
Nabiki wasn't sure whether to believe them, but finally decided to leave it at that. Maybe it was some weird Chinese custom that made it worse than dying. Some fighters chose their honor over their life, didn't they? Maybe it was along those lines. Who could say?   
"I'll find a place for you two to stay." 

**************** 

Supper was a tense event from the very first moment. Actually, it started out peacefully enough. Then everybody arrived to eat.   
"What are _they_ doing here?!?" Tarou demanded angrily.   
"Hello, Tarou," RanRan replied with a smirk.   
You look very nice, Tarou," LinLin greeted cheerfully.   
Tarou fixed the two with a look that would have melted Akane's cooking. "What. Are. You. Doing. Here?"   
"I have supper," RanRan announced, sitting down calmly.   
"Not eat for two day," LinLin agreed. "Very hungry."   
"Nabiki-girl very nice to find room for us."   
"Very nice girl."   
Tarou fixed the two with a stare until they met it, then his gaze slowly turned to look at his water bottle. "The Tendou's are being very gracious to a pair of nutcases like you two. I hope you're not going to abuse their hospitality."   
"Not understand," RanRan said innocently, beaming as Kasumi came in.   
"Smell very good!" LinLin complimented.   
"Why thank-you!" she replied, setting out portions for everyone.   
"It sure is nice to have company over," Nabiki observed cheerfully. The disgusted look Tarou shot her made the comment worth it.   
"Yes, lovely," Tarou agreed, forcing a smile. "I hope you didn't have any troubles with that Amazon before?"   
RanRan shook her head. "We make truce. She chase after girl, not bother us. I hear girl you friend?"   
"An accomplice," he replied. "I don't expect to see her around here very much."   
"Too bad. Want meet," LinLin observed.   
"I don't doubt it," Tarou agreed. "She only likes girls, after all."   
LinLin glared at him. "And boy who wear pantyhose only like guy?"   
Tarou's fists whitened, but he restrained his temper. "No, I just like girls with something besides _air_ in their heads."   
"Too bad girl like men who not _freak of nature_," RanRan agreed.   
"Too bad for you that men like girls who aren't _sexless_."   
It was RanRan's turn to glare now.   
Nabiki just watched the exchange with amusement. The two sides had clearly met   
before... "I had no idea you three knew each other so well," she observed sarcastically.   
They all glared daggers at her as she continued to eat her meal.   
"Yes, they certainly do seem to, don't they?" Kasumi agreed, blissfully ignorant as always.   
"How come you guys hate each other so much?" Ranma asked.   
"None of your business, Fem-boy," Tarou retorted.   
Akane tried to be a peacemaker (for once). "It's nice to meet you two," she offered. "I'm Akane."   
"Is pleasure to meet," RanRan replied.   
"You look very nice," LinLin agreed, promptly a pained look from her sister, followed by a shot to the head.   
"So you're into martial arts too?" Akane inquired. "Want to spar a little?"   
Both ex-amazons tensed up, remembering Nabiki's warnings, but not quite sure how to decline gracefully...   
"That sounds like an excellent idea," Tarou agreed quickly.   
Nabiki scowled. Tarou was already trying to put a wedge between the household and the two new guests. She should have expected as much. "Now, now, little sister," she interrupted. "In case you'd forgotten, the dojo was destroyed yesterday, remember?"   
"But the floor's mostly intact," Akane insisted.   
"So you're going to destroy that too? Besides, you've got a load of homework to do, I seem to remember?"   
"It would only be for a little bit..." Akane insisted.   
"Not wish to get in way," RanRan decided. "I spar with sister, is okay?"   
"Very important you learn school things," LinLin agreed.   
Tarou burst into a muffled laugh at that, hastily gulping down his glass of water.   
Akane bit her tongue, but reluctantly acquiesced. There was always tomorrow, after all. "Well, alright. But don't worry, I'll go easy on you!"   
Tarou continued to laugh and reached for another glass of water.   
"You okay?" Ranma asked.   
Tarou coughed as he ran out of water. "Just... fine."   
"Have some more water," Akane offered, pushing the jug over to him. Unfortunately, she pushed it a little too hard, knocking the entire thing over.   
"Gah!!!" "Ack!!!"   
In a matter of seconds, both Tarou and Ranma were already several feet from the table. LinLin and RanRan's faces had begun to go pale, their hands over their weapons.   
"Goodness me," Kasumi observed, already mopping the spill up.   
Gradually, the table began to relax again. Some lethal stares were exchanged between Tarou and the two ex-amazons as they sat down. Ranma was simply relieved to have avoided the water.   
"Sorry about that," Akane apologized. "Are you okay?"   
"Perfectly dry," Tarou assured her calmly.   
This hadn't gone unnoticed by Nabiki. If she had supposed things between Tarou and the two new houseguests were only moderately hostile, she did no longer. Just Tarou's getting up had prompted them to react. As least, that was how she interpreted the scene. She would have given real money to know what the 'secret' was that LinLin and RanRan knew about Tarou. Unfortunately, it seemed that she would have to keep bidding her time... 

******************* 

Tarou dismissed himself from dinner quickly. Things had just become complicated once again, he noted with no small disgust. Was he cursed or something? He rephrased the thought. Was some evil god out to get him?   
Such a simple thing, he had thought. Make a hopelessly stupid boy and a hopelessly naive girl willingly go along with an arranged engagement. Not hard at all. But things had been going downhill ever since. Jusenkyou. Ukyou. Ryouga. Nabiki. The Golden Pair. Shampoo. LinLin. RanRan. It was a marvel Ranma and Akane got along as well as they did!   
He needed to sort things out, and it had to be quickly. He had... two more weeks before the one-month deadline was up. At that point, Ranma would have to choose a fiancée, and unless some serious improvement happened, it wouldn't be a willing engagement. And that meant that he wouldn't have his location.   
Well, to be exact, that would be the point where Tarou physically _beat_ the information out of the Tendous and Saotomes. Despite the two mens' resolve, Tarou had a hunch Soun would crumble sooner or later, if enough abuse was inflicted on his   
daughters. Starting with Nabiki, of course.   
So how to avoid that inconvenient effort?   
A thought crossed Tarou's mind, prompting a faint smile. Then he began to laugh. Absolutely perfect. He should have thought of it before, really.   
He poked his head around into the kitchen. "Kasumi?"   
Kasumi turned from where she was cleaning up supper. "Yes, Tarou?"   
"I was wondering if you have an envelope I could borrow? I want to write a letter."   
"Of course." Kasumi rummaged through a drawer, quickly producing an envelope, a pen and some paper. "Here you go."   
Tarou bowed. "Thank-you very much, Kasumi."   
Kasumi really was a nice young woman, Tarou decided. Rather spaced out, but still wonderfully kind and sweet. In the event it came down to beating the truth out of the Tendous...   
...he would be certain to save Kasumi for last. 

***************** 

That was close! >   
No kidding. But at least we've learned something from this. >   
LinLin looked rather blank. We have? >   
RanRan nodded impatiently. Of course. Didn't you see how fast Tarou backed off? The entire family obviously doesn't know about his Jusenkyou curse. He's keeping it a secret. >   
Why? >   
I don't know. But that's a good thing. Jusenkyou _must_ be kept a secret. That Nabiki girl for example. If she found out about something like Jusenkyou, she'd probably try to get hold of the water herself! Jusenkyou must be kept out of the wrong hands. If necessary, we might have to exterminate this family. We'll hope that it doesn't come to that. >   
LinLin nodded. So how do we get rid of Tarou? >   
We're not. We'll have to be patient. I've got a plan. We just have to wait until Xian Pu comes around, looking for the Jasmine girl. Once she's here, we'll put the plan into action. >   
But I don't know the plan. >   
Don't worry. Just act normal, and it will work perfectly. Remember, we act nice to everybody, and don't fight Tarou or Xian Pu. >   
Right. So what do we do all day until Xian Pu comes around? >   
RanRan looked a little blank, but recovered quickly. Whatever we want, of course. Just be polite above all else. >   
I'm still confused. >   
Don't worry about it. It's a very complex plan. Even I don't have all the details. I'm going to have to manipulate Xian Pu as we go. >   
Xian Pu seems a little different than she did when we left the village. >   
She is. I've heard about her. She won the yearly tournament a month or two ago, you know. Then that Jasmine girl started eating the prize. Xian Pu challenged her, and was beaten. >   
LinLin's eyes widened. This Jasmine girl beat the winner of the tournament!? She must be very good! >   
She probably is. Although Xian Pu would have been rather tired after fighting all day. But Xian Pu has a Kiss of Death to make good on now, so we'd best not interfere. She's probably a much better fighter than either of us alone. >   
What if we fight together? >   
RanRan laughed quietly. Hopefully we won't have to find out. But if it comes to that, we're living at the official heirs to the Anything-Goes style of fighting. I should have plenty of chance to improve my style dramatically. As I get better, we'll fight as a   
team better. Pretty soon, Xian Pu won't have a chance. >   
Maybe we'll even be strong enough to beat Tarou! >   
Not in his cursed form. But maybe in his human form. >   
If we keep him away from water->   
RanRan shushed her sister. Quiet! This household doesn't know Chinese, but Tarou does! If he thinks we're going to attack him, he might just try something first. From now on, we don't even talk about hurting him, alright? We have to be patient. >   
If you say so, sister. >   
Don't worry about it all. Things will get dirty soon enough. Until then, we may as well take advantage of the chance to travel. Japan has many things to offer a tourist. >   
Some of the guys sure looked cute... >   
RanRan rolled her eyes. Uh... right. Go ahead. >   
Maybe I'll see if that Ranma is available. Not only is he cute, I think he's a good fighter too! >   
He should be. His last name is Saotome. From what I know of the style, he's probably the heir to the school. >   
LinLin gaped. Wow! I've got to get to know him! >   
Fine, fine, go ahead and flirt. But be careful. We don't want to make a nuisance of ourselves, understand? >   
Alright, alright. I think you need to get out more, RanRan. I mean, you had something going with the guy on skates, didn't you? You sure had some guts kissing him like that. I would have been so nervous->   
HE KISSED ME!!! >   
Don't be so picky. He was really cute. What did you do with him, anyway? You weren't too harsh with him, were you? >   
No. If we didn't have Tarou to worry about, I'd still be punishing him. He should feel lucky that all I did was give him a sex change. >   
LinLin went completely pale. You mean you... chopped...off... his... >   
RanRan looked repulsed. Don't be ridiculous, LinLin. I'd never do such a thing! >   
A sigh of relief. Oh. You had me worried for a moment... >   
I mean, I'd hate for infection to kill him early on. So I knocked him out and dragged him into a qualified clinic. _They're_ going to do it. > 

***************** 

"Ooohh..."   
"Take it easy. You're probably feeling a little disoriented right now. But that will go away soon enough."   
Mikado sat up slowly, holding his hand to his pounding head. He was on some sort of bed. That blue-haired woman must have hit him harder than he'd thought. But he had done it! He'd claimed his one thousandth kiss!   
A doctor was in front of him now. "Good news. I can safely say that the operation was a complete success, Miss Mikado Sanzenin."   
Miss? "How dare you imply that I..."   
Mikado trailed off as he realized that his voice was abnormally high. He looked down at his chest. Two rather sizable lumps adorned it. Almost fearfully, he pulled out the front of his pants, desperately seeking something vital... 

***************** 

A piercing scream echoed across the city, making a young man cringe as he walked along the sidewalk. That had sounded terrible. Honestly, some people just weren't considerate enough to keep their televisions turned down. Oh well, no concern of his right now, Ranma decided idly.   
After excusing himself from dinner, he had immediately gone for a walk. There was something he had to do, before it drove him nuts. Having retrieved the Dragon's Whisker, he was now able to stay as a guy, which in turn was letting him talk with this   
person without revealing his Jusenkyou curse.   
The problem was that he had no idea where to go. After all, trying to find this person was almost impossible at best. His best bet was probably just to wander around until he crossed paths with...   
"I found you!!!" an angry voice yelled.   
Ranma spun around to face... "Ryouga!!!"   
Ryouga looked tired, but still full of fight. "I've been through hell to find you, Ranma!!!"   
"I've been trying to find you!!!" Ranma retorted. "About time you came around!"   
"I'd still be looking for you if that nice girl hadn't helped me!"   
"Nice girl?"   
Ryouga nodded. "Her name was Jasmine. She said she knows you..."   
Ranma nodded cautiously. "Uh, yeah, we... met each other in China. We know each other."   
"Hmph. Whatever. Now I'm going to send you where I should have sent you a long time ago!"   
"Uh huh. So why are you angry with me?"   
"None of your business!"   
Ranma began to get a little angry. "What do you mean? I never did anything to you, you pig-headed idiot! You were the one who showed up late! I waited three days for you!"   
"But when I got there on the fourth day, you were long gone!"   
"So why'd it take you four days to get to the lot behind your house!?"   
"I... got delayed!!!" Ryouga growled.   
"You got lost again!" Ranma shot back. "Why can't you just admit it!"   
"If you'd waited one more day, I wouldn't have..." Ryouga trailed off.   
"Would have _what_? Followed me? Big deal. So you got lost following me instead of getting lost tryin' to find the school!"   
"Why you little-"   
"So big deal," Ranma continued. "We'll have our man-to-man fight now. We can settle that stupid bread fight right now."   
"This goes beyond the bread fight! I'm going to send you to hell for what you've put me through!"   
"Then why don't you tell me _what_ you've been through? I sure as heck don't know! Where'd you wander off to this time? India? Mexico? Fiji? Some natives try to roast you for dinner again?"   
"You think this is a joke!?!"   
"I don't know! I don't even know why you're angry with me!"   
A quiet rumble of thunder sounded overhead, freezing both in their tracks.   
Ryouga was the first to speak. "I..."   
Ranma quickly leapt in. "Uh... why don't we... talk about this over... some tea? Uh, there's a coffee shop really close to here..."   
"Great!" Ryouga agreed quickly. "Lead the way!"   
"I kinda hafta," Ranma pointed out, quickly starting towards the shop, Ryouga following behind closely. No way he wanted to get caught in the rain! If he turned into a girl in front of Ryouga, he would never live it down!   
"Y-yeah," Ryouga agreed, looking nervously at the sky. If worse came to worse, at least he had an umbrella. But even puddles were dangerous if a car drove by. If he got wet in front of Ranma...   
"So... you met Jasmine?" Ranma asked, trying to fill the void with conversation.   
"Yeah. Actually, we got in a big fight. That's why the dojo is destroyed."   
Ranma smiled thinly. He'd been a match for Ryouga as a girl in that fight. As a guy, he'd trample Ryouga easily if they got in a fight. "Oh well. Don't really need a dojo, anyway. It's better practising outside."   
"Right!" Ryouga agreed. It wasn't as if he ever got much of a chance to practice anywhere else. "So... um, how's your father?"   
"He's as lazy as always. How 'bout you? You run into your old man lately?"   
"Well... I did about two years ago for a bit..."   
Rain drops began to patter down on the sidewalk.   
"Hey, lemme borrow this," Ranma asked, deftly snagging Ryouga's umbrella and opening it up over top of himself.   
Ryouga let out a squal of protest. "H-hey! You can't-"   
Abruptly, the entire sky opened up, dumping torrents of water down on the area. Ranma breathed a sigh of relief. It was a good thing Ryouga had carried an umbrella on him. Now he just had to play it cool until they reached some shelter.   
Casual... just act casual... "So... where you been lately, Ryouga? I remember when you ended up in Hawaii the one time. That was pretty good, how you saved the island princess from the volcano! She was so grateful for your help that she kissed you and then you fainted and-"   
Ranma realized that there was no sound of footsteps beside him. He turned. "Hey, you listening to me?"   
He stopped short. Ryouga was nowhere to be seen. Ranma looked around disgustedly. Had Ryouga gotten lost again? Honestly, back in junior high, Ryouga had at least been able to follow someone around. Had his sense of direction gotten even worse?   
"Hey Ryouga! Where the heck are you?"   
No answer.   
Ranma groaned. "Ah forget it. Geez, I don't even know why you're so angry with me... I'm goin' home." His mind made up, he started to head back to the Tendou Dojo, taking care to keep the umbrella between himself and the rain.   
Down at the corner, amidst a pile of clothing, a creature peered around the bend. Black-bodied and with piercing eyes, the creature observed Ranma walking away, no doubt back to the Tendou Dojo.   
Ryouga's eyes narrowed. He would follow Ranma back to the dojo. Ranma hadn't seemed particularly angry. Arrogant and casual as always, but a little confused. Perhaps Jasmine had been right. She seemed like a reasonable enough person. He would trail Ranma and find out for himself... 

******************* 

Nabiki leaned back with a luxurious sigh. She was gaining a greater appreciation for baths by the day. Not only was it private, it gave her a chance to collect and organize all the thoughts that she had accumulated through the day. And there was a considerable list after today. She didn't regret inviting in the two ex-Amazons, as she had come to refer to them as. But they were obviously going to be a handful. At least they were paying. Between them and Tarou, the Tendou household finances were in good shape, even with the ravenous appetites that she'd come to associate with martial artists in general.   
So was there anything she could do? LinLin and RanRan seemed content to be peaceful and exchange verbal jabs with Tarou. Tarou didn't seem to be regarding them as a serious threat, which spoke either for his confidence or for his secretly plotting. As for the third Chinese, 'Shampoo' or something like that... she would probably show up sooner or later, looking for Jasmine. She wondered what Jasmine had done to warrant such attention in the first place. She also wondered where Jasmine could have taken off to. Surely the redhead would have wanted to congratulate Akane, her current romantic interest?   
Nothing really seemed to make sense. Perhaps it was time to exploit a few things. As soon as Jasmine returned, Nabiki would be sure to grill the redhead properly. And LinLin might also be an option... Nabiki had clearly seen her making eyes at Ranma. Both were would be good leverage points in exchange for information.   
A quiet shuffling noise got her attention. Someone was entering the bathroom, despite the occupied sign.   
"Kasumi?" she guessed.   
"Not quite," a distinctly more masculine voice replied.   
Nabiki's eyes narrowed as sunk down into the bathtub. What hell did Tarou think he was doing...   
"Just a word of warning, _Nabiki-darling_," Tarou said in a low voice.   
Nabiki raised an eyebrow. Tarou was attaching an unusually high amount of venom with the distinctly unaffectionate name he'd taken to giving her. Maybe he was really mad now. "Yes, _Tarou-baby_? What did you want to warn me about _now_?"   
"Don't think I don't know who's responsible for letting those two bitches into this house. But if they become a problem, I'll do to you whatever I do to them."   
"You'll toss me off a cliff too?"   
"Already tried that with those twins and it didn't work. I don't expect those two will say much to you, but I can do some extremely nasty things to people who get in my way. Ask them about what happened when the Village of Rats was rude to me."   
"And what happened?"   
Tarou chuckled evilly. "Ask them."   
"So what's the big deal between you and those two? They sure seem to hate you."   
"They're part of some stupid cult. They seem to think I broke a few of their laws."   
"Did you?"   
"No. I broke _a lot_ of their laws. Those two are third group to come after me."   
"Let me guess - the others went off a cliff?"   
"No, I stepped on the first group like..." Tarou chuckled lowly. "...like snails. Yes, like little _snails_. The second group... well, he's more concerned about environmental issues now. I might just have to do the same to these two."   
Strange choices of words, Nabiki wondered. Or just very loaded statements?   
"You should consider yourself lucky, Nabiki-darling. I don't think I've ever given so much warning to anybody before. I'm not going to make a habit of it, though."   
"Ooh, scary. I'm shaking, Tarou-baby."   
"You will be," Tarou chuckled evilly as he left the bathroom. "Oh, you _will_ be." 

******************* 

The phone rang.   
The phone rang again.   
Nabiki returned from shutting the door, picking the phone up before it could ring a third time. The number on the display told her who it was. "How's progress?"   
*I've gone through everything I have at my disposal. There's quite a bit of information, but only some of it is reliable.*   
"I want to see it _all_," Nabiki stressed.   
*I assumed as much.*   
"So what do you say to lunch tomorrow?"   
*Meet me at the coffee shop across from Dr. Tofu's practice.*   
"Sounds good. I'll be there."   
*And make sure you bring the agreed payment.*   
"Don't worry. You'll get your fee."   
*Good.*   
"By the way, I was talking with our subject. He claims to have done something to a place called 'The Village of Rats'..."   
*I'm already ahead of you. I've got an article on it that seems to connect him to it.*   
"Very good. I'll see you tomorrow."   
*Click*   
Nabiki smiled as she hung up the phone and left her room. Finally, something was going right. Once she had her hands on the information, it would be time to start striking back at Tarou. It wasn't so much that she hated him, of course. She just didn't like his attitude. Once he was put in his place, she'd lay off him as long as he toed the line. But he had absolutely no business keeping secrets from her like this. Obviously he had strong reason to try and keep whatever it was a secret. How important it was would determine how much it would cost him to keep it a secret.   
Heading down the steps, she saw Ranma enter with a sigh of relief, setting down a bamboo umbrella. Very interesting.   
"Hello Ranma," she greeted.   
"Hi Nabiki," he replied.   
"Isn't that umbrella Ryouga's?" she inquired.   
Ranma nodded. "Yeah. I was talkin' with him, and suddenly he just disappears! If you see him around, tell him to stay in one spot, okay?"   
"I'll try to keep that in mind."   
Ranma was already headed towards the kitchen, muttering something about bone-headed idiots who got lost in rooms with one door.   
Nabiki just shook her head in disbelief. She'd already picked up that Ryouga seemed to have a little problem with directions, but she had a hard time stomaching that it could possibly be _that_ bad. 

******************* 

Ranma could hear a faint shuffling as he entered the kitchen. "Hey, Kasumi?"   
No response.   
Ranma looked around. Kasumi was nowhere to be seen. Oh well. He just wanted a drink of water, so he wouldn't bother her on that account. Grabbing a glass, he headed over to the sink to fill it up.   
*SQUAWK!!!*   
"Gah!!!" Ranma jumped back a step in shock.   
*Squawk...*   
Ranma looked at the source, presently trying to push a stool in front of the sink. It was a bird. It was also the weirdest bird he'd ever seen in his life. It came up to just past his knees, had black feathers except on its stomach, and had a strange metal device hooked over its back. A tiger-striped bandana was wrapped at a strange angle to its forehead. It was presently giving him the evilest eye Ranma had _ever_ seen.   
"What the heck?" was all he could say.   
*Squawk.*   
"Oh my."   
Both turned to face Kasumi, who had just entered.   
"This your pet?" Ranma ventured helplessly.   
"What going on?" Tarou was entering the kitchen now.   
"_Your_ pet?" Ranma repeated curiously.   
"I thought I heard a bird. Is something wrong?" Now Akane was present.   
"You want a pet?" Tarou asked with a smirk.   
*Squawk!* the bird shot at him.   
"Perhaps I should call the animal control shelter," Akane mused. "That looks like some sort of penguin, I'd say. It must be from the zoo."   
"I think you're right, Akane!" Kasumi agreed. She knelt down to look at the bird. "Why, there's a name tag! It says Pen2..."   
"Pen-squared?" Akane asked incredulously.   
"Probably a code name," Tarou pointed out. "I wouldn't be surprised if it came from a laboratory. It's the weirdest penguin I've ever seen."   
*Squawk!*   
"I think he looks very cute," Kasumi observed, leaning forward so she could scratch the penguin behind the ear, incidentally giving the bird a massive eyeful.   
The penguin's face began to go red. Several seconds later, it keeled over backwards, a faint trickle of blood coming from its beak.   
"Oh my!"   
"It must be sick or something," Akane guessed.   
"Maybe we should euthanize it," Tarou suggested loudly.   
"Oh dear!" Kasumi exclaimed in shock.   
"That's kinda cruel, don't ya think?" Ranma objected.   
Tarou said a prayer of thanks. "Well, what else are you going to do? Keep it as a pet yourself, _Fem-boy_? You're haven't got the brains to handle it!"   
"Hah! Just watch me!" Ranma shot back hotly.   
Akane raised an eyebrow. "You're going to keep it as a pet, Ranma? Do you even know how to take care of it?"   
"How hard can it be?" he replied. "Just feed it and comb it and all that kinda stuff, right?"   
"That's very noble of you," Tarou agreed, doing his best to keep a straight face. Fem-boy was such an easy mark to manipulate! And as a result, Akane was getting the chance to see him acting noble over the plight of a poor innocent bird. "So what are you going to name it?"   
Ranma looked thoughtful. "How 'bout... Pen-Pen? The name tag even works then!"   
"That's very nice of you Ranma," Kasumi agreed. "Maybe you should give Pen-Pen a bath. It looks rather dirty."   
"Better make it a hot bath," Tarou added quickly. Knowing Ranma, he would probably be stupid enough to fill the tub with cold water, then end up changing into a girl.   
At this, Pen-Pen suddenly came to life again, attempting to make a beeline for the door. Unfortunately, it ran right past the door, following the walls until he was right back where he started. He began to look around in confusion.   
"He must be disoriented," Akane observed. "Poor little bird."   
Ranma laughed. "Or maybe he's just got Ryouga's sense of direction!"   
Tarou froze upon hearing that.   
His gaze slowly traveled down to the tiger-striped bandana draped around the penguin's head. His mind wandered back to having seen Ryouga at Jusenkyou...   
Oh crap. 


	13. Hitting the Fan

Tarou 1/2   
A Fanfic by Intrasonic 

Chapter 12: Hitting the Fan 

***************** 

Tiger-striped bandana. No sense of direction. Definitely Ryouga.   
Tarou's mind raced frantically, trying to figure a way out. If there was anything he didn't need right now, it was for everyone to be made aware of the existence of Jusenkyou. "I... think he looks clean," he ventured. Okay, _that_ wasn't exactly the most   
intelligent way out...   
"I don't want a dirty bird walking all over the house," Nabiki opinioned. "Make sure he's clean, Ranma. And if I catch him in my room, I will _not_ be held responsible for what finds its way on to the dinner table."   
"Now, Nabiki," Kasumi admonished. "I'm sure Ranma will take very good care of him. I think it would be nice to have a pet."   
"Uh, sure Kasumi. Whatever you say. But I refuse to touch a pooper-scooper on behalf of that _thing_."   
*SQUAWK!!!*   
"Well, I think it's very nice for Ranma to do that," Akane replied.   
Tarou felt a leap of joy in his heart. Akane had just praised Fem-Boy! Yet another nail in Happousai's coffin... "Very nice," he agreed.   
A shock of red hair poked around the corner. "What happen?" LinLin wanted to know.   
"Nothing much. We've found your mother," Tarou informed her, pointing at PenPen.   
LinLin's face purpled briefly, but she recovered with uncharacteristic grace. "Pass meat farm on way here. See Tarou parents!"   
Tarou's face darkened. She'd pay for _that_ comment another day...   
"What Ranma do?" LinLin wanted to know.   
"Oh, I just adopted this penguin. I gotta give it a bath."   
LinLin beamed. "Is very nice pet! I hold?"   
Ranma shrugged. "Sure." He looked at PenPen before handing her over. "Be nice, okay?"   
She accepted the penguin carefully. "PenPen?"   
"Well, it's got the name tag on it, and it sounds pretty cool."   
A slow smile began to form over Tarou's face. "I think you should go give the penguin a bath, Fem-boy. Before it tracks any more dirt through the house."   
"I help?" LinLin asked hopefully.   
Ranma shrugged. "Well, I guess so. You know anything about penguins?"   
Tarou chuckled quietly. "That one looks pretty cold. You might want to make sure the bathwater is hot, Fem-boy."   
"Is good!" LinLin decided quickly. "I go make hot water!"   
Tarou quickly left the room, stifling a laugh until he was out of earshot. Now all he had to do was sit back and wait for the sparks to fly. Once "PenPen" hit the hot water, he'd revert back to Ryouga, in full view of LinLin. And once she realized Jusenkyou was involved, she'd immediately butcher the directionless idiot. Which would make Ranma angry with her. Which would get the two Amazon's kicked out of the house and make them less of a problem. And it would get rid of Ryouga in the bargain.   
Damn, but he was brilliant.   
RanRan was busy reading in the living room, her book entitled "Speak Like A Native Japanese in 7 Days".   
"Me Tarou. RanRan like read book?"   
RanRan shot him a dirty look. "What you mean is, 'Your name is Tarou, and do I enjoy reading books?'"   
Tarou smirked. "Always the bookworm, aren't you? You might want to go upstairs to see your sister. I think she'll need your help in a moment..."   
"What did you do?"   
"Nothing. But she's about to get the shock of her life."   
The ex-amazon regarded him stonily for a moment. Finally, she stood and headed upstairs.   
Well, Tarou decided. _That_ should ensure "PenPen's" untimely demise once he hit the water. He glanced at the book. RanRan always had been a little too smart for her own good... Picking the book up, he immediately proceeded to overwrite a few words. Coupled with the study notes she had already written all over, his additions wouldn't be noticed. Not until it was too late.   
A tremendous crash overhead made him smile. Too bad for Ryouga...   
Some loud yelling in Chinese was heard, then silence.   
Tarou watched a penguin come running down the stairs and out the door. Hmm... Ryouga must have gotten away.   
"WHERE JASMINE-GIRL?!?"   
Tarou's eyes shot open upon hearing that. That wasn't a voice he wanted to hear. It wasn't LinLin or RanRan, yet it had a Chinese accent...   
He was already running up the stairs. Not now...   
A bonbourri was thrust in his face upon reaching the entrance to the bathroom. He stopped short, giving a dirty look to the wielder.   
"Where Jasmine?" Shampoo demanded angrily. "Tell, or Shampoo kill."   
Like she even had a prayer of doing _that_. "I have no idea. I haven't seen her for a few days now."   
"You lie!"   
'Tarou very good friend with Jasmine," RanRan pointed out innocently, off to the side. She elbowed her sister pointedly.   
"_Very_ good friend," LinLin quickly agreed.   
"Show Jasmine-girl!!!" Shampoo demanded.   
This was the final straw, Tarou decided, switching to Chinese. If you don't get your miserable hide out of this house, I'm going turn you into a RUG, you stupid Amazon!!!>   
Shampoo's stared at him in disbelief, as though she couldn't quite believe what she'd just heard from him. I will assume... you simply have poor knowledge of the Chinese language and did not say what I thought you said... >   
Tarou nodded. That must be it. May I rephrase what I said? >   
Shampoo's face had a dangerous look on it. Please do. >   
Get your ass out of this house before I give you a life-changing experience involving the Spring of Drowned Man. >   
A bonbourri clattered to the floor, as Shampoo stared at him in disbelief. She hastily recovered it, levelling it at his face again. You lie, little man! >   
Tarou held up his water bottle. You leave immediately, or I splash everyone in this room with water from the Spring of Drowned Man. >   
You lie- >   
Two squeaks emitted from LinLin and RanRan as they scrambled across the floor and dove out the window. Shampoo looked at them curiously, then slowly looked back at Tarou.   
Tarou chuckled evilly. They understand the threat, Amazon. And you know who they are... >   
Shampoo's face was beginning to look nervous.   
I think you'd make a _really_ cute guy, > Tarou offered.   
_That_ did it. I'll... deal with you another time! > she warned, beating a quick retreat out the window.   
Ranma finally spoke. "Whoa. What did you say?"   
"I told you, Fem-Boy. I know an Amazon's weak points. She won't be coming back anytime soon."   
That suited Ranma just fine. "Where'd PenPen go?"   
"I saw him running away. What did you do to him?"   
"Nothing! I was just tryin' to give him a bath! He acted like it would kill him or something!"   
Well, it would have, once the Ex-Amazon's found out. The Jusenkyou Preservation Society had funny ideas about people who tried acting as pets... 

***************** 

HE DIES!!! NOW!!! >   
Calm down, sister. >   
Contrary to her twin sister's request, LinLin was only getting angrier. He did it again! He's got more Jusenkyou water! And he threatened to use it! As a WEAPON!!! >   
RanRan shrugged the problem aside. I heard him. But he was probably just bluffing. The Jusenkyou guide says that he hasn't been to Jusenkyou in a few weeks now. But you're forgetting something. Like, WHO he just threatened. >   
Shampoo wouldn't stand a chance against him in a fight! Tarou would beat her with or without the water and... > LinLin slowly trailed off as realization struck home.   
RanRan smirked. Tarou won't beat her. He knows all about Amazon laws. But Shampoo won't be able to beat him. And she'll be too proud to back down. And she thinks Tarou's her best bet at finding this Jasmine. So Shampoo is stuck here. She'll eventually break down and ask for help. And then... >   
...the village will send more fighters? >   
Probably. >   
But if Tarou really DOES have water- >   
It doesn't matter. Just making the threat is punishable by death. And knowing him, there's a chance that he actually does. You haven't forgotten the Village of Rats, have you? Or the last two parties who tried to kill Tarou? >   
But if Tarou transforms... >   
Then he'll beat the crap out of half a dozen amazon warriors. The laws still apply. And Tarou will never uphold them. So they'll have to send for even more help. And eventually... >   
LinLin's smile mirrored her sister's now. ...Tarou is dead. >   
You've got the idea now. > 

****************** 

It was with a sigh of relief that Shampoo finally managed to obtain enough money to make a call back home. Stumbling upon that demolition crew had been a godsend. Fifteen minutes of a medium intensity workout had resulted in a whole mass of destruction, twenty workers with the day off, and payment in the form of a wad of bills thick enough to choke a horse with. At least, she thought she was right about the last part. Her Japanese was still mediocre at best, and she wasn't especially familiar with their currency.   
And unfortunately, she might be here for some time yet. There had been... complications in the original plan. The 'Kill red-haired girl then go home' plan had been shot to blazes long ago. Recently, the plan had been 'Beat truth out of Chinese man', but that had _really_ been ruined. So now she was simply going to have to arrange for... back-up.   
She was not scared, of course. An Amazon felt no fear. She was merely... keeping her home village appraised of recent events. That was all, she repeated firmly. If they wanted to actually _interfere_ with her personal mission and send help...   
Hello? >   
Shampoo swallowed. This is Xian Pu. I am in Tokyo right now. >   
Is the girl dead yet? >   
N-no... there have been complications. >   
Unacceptable. Kill anyone in your way, and then kill the girl. >   
Many complications. >   
A sigh was heard on the other end. Such as...? >   
The girl has completely vanished without a trail. And the girl has a friend who is extremely dangerous. He has already threatened to splash me with water from the Spring of Drowned Man. >   
He lies. Kill him. >   
He is not the only problem. I have encountered LinLin and RanRan. >   
A long stream of cursing made the girl wince. Those two traitors? >   
It is them. They are chasing this man. And they ran like scared rabbits when he mentioned the water... >   
A period of silence.   
Another period of silence.   
Still another period of-   
Hello? > Shampoo ventured.   
I see, > the voice finally said with a sigh. If those two are involved, that lends weight to the man's threat. Perhaps this now involves more than just that girl now. I will have a group of warriors sent to deal with the man and those two traitors. Give them whatever information you can so that they can complete their mission. But the girl is still your responsibility alone. Continue to search for her. >   
Understood. > 

********************* 

"Ugh..."   
Akane knelt down next to Ranma's dazed form. "Are you okay?"   
"Owowouch..."   
She looked towards the entrance of the dojo's door in time to see Ranma's swiftly departing opponent. "Tarou beat you pretty good, didn't he?"   
"Argh..."   
"Do you think he's in a bad mood?"   
"Ugh...."   
"It must be that crazy Chinese girl who came by before. Is PenPen okay?"   
"...kane..."   
"What?"   
"Where's the ground?"   
Grabbing Ranma by his sleeve, Akane quickly hauled him to his feet. "Wow, you're really out of it."   
Ranma shook his head, finally getting his bearings back. "I think Tarou's _really_ mad about something. He didn't even _try_ to fool around this time."   
"Well, don't worry about it. He's probably worried about Jasmine too. I hope she's okay..."   
"Uh... I think she's fine. She's... going to be staying away for awhile, I think."   
"It's probably for the best," Akane agreed. "Still, I wouldn't mind seeing her. I haven't seen her since before the Gymnastic's match. She'll be glad to know that I won."   
Ranma nodded slowly."I'll... tell her that if I see her."   
"So how are you feeling?"   
Ranma shook a few kinks out of his neck. A little sore, but at least he recovered quickly. "Okay, I guess. How come?"   
"Want to spar?" 

******************* 

Tarou left the dojo in no better of a mood. If only beating the crap out of Ranma was the cure for all his problems. If _that_ was the case, he wouldn't have any problems. As things stood, Ranma was only one of his many problems. The most recent one had finally begun to make itself clear.   
It was one of the fundamental tenants for anyone growing up in the Jusenkyou region of China. With a whole load of primitive, territorial, and usually bad-tempered warrior tribes living in the region, most able to boast several thousand years of mystical knowledge behind them, you didn't piss _any_ of them off. Doing so usually resulting in being hunted to the ends of the earth before being killed, or some variant thereof. Even with a powerful cursed form like his, Tarou had always upheld those laws carefully. There was usually a reason that those tribes hadn't come under rule from the communist Chinese government, and nobody with half a brain wanted to find out why.   
And now he'd just gone and threatened the star warrior from the Amazons. In case that wasn't bad enough, he'd actually invoked the threat of the Spring of Drowned Man, which for them, was infinitely worse than death. Oh yes, they were going to be pissed off with him.   
And he had LinLin and RanRan to thank for it all. Those two were going to _pay_ for this. All he had to do was think up a way that wouldn't see the Tendou's kicking him out before he had Happousai's location.   
"...And that's how you factor cubic equations..."   
Nabiki's voice.   
"...So what if the power is four?"   
RanRan's voice.   
Tarou rolled his eyes. RanRan seemed to have some addiction to learning things. One reason that he was planning on paying a little more mind to her than most martial artists around here. As far as human-human combat went, he was a match for her and her sister put together. But unlike most of his opponents (and LinLin), RanRan had a brain and was smart enough to use it too. Which meant that she could be trusted to try plans that didn't involve head-on confrontation. She'd already been quick enough to prod Shampoo into fighting him, potentially bringing down the wrath of the Amazons on his head. Who knew what else she was planning? And the worst thing was that she had all day to lounge around and plot while he was stuck maintaining order at Furinken...   
An evil smile slowly crept onto Tarou's face as an idea came to mind. It was absolutely perfect. He'd be able to keep an eye on them all day. Her and LinLin would be able to return the favor, but he'd always preferred to know his enemy, rather than guess at what they might be plotting. Besides, it would be funny as hell to watch...   
Still chuckling, he ran upstairs to prepare a few things. 

**************** 

"You sure you never knew this before?" Nabiki asked, unable to hide a little skepticism.   
"I've always been a fast learner."   
"You seem to be making due. So how long has Tarou known how to speak Japanese? He speaks it better than a lot of Japanese. Certainly better than most martial artists."   
"Tarou's not a martial artist," RanRan muttered. "He's a demon."   
"Excuse me?"   
"Ask anyone who has fought him. If you're smart, you'll just stay away from him. You're stupid if you think he's going to keep letting you live like he has so far."   
"You're just sore at him."   
"So are any number of people back in China. He's a dangerous person, Nabiki. He's an excellent martial artist, has almost no sense of morality, and even you have to admit that he's a smart person. Right now, he just doesn't consider you a big enough threat to justify dealing with you permanently. He probably doesn't think me and my sister are worth the trouble either."   
"You just worry about yourself," Nabiki tossed back. "I know how to take care of myself. Besides, you make Tarou sound like some sort of murderer."   
RanRan shrugged. "Be that way. But when he finally deals with you, don't say that I didn't warn you. There are countless people who have suffered fates worse than death because they didn't take him seriously. Me and my sister won't make that mistake."   
"Sounds like you two already did," Nabiki reminded her smugly. "As for myself, Tarou's simply going to have to find out the hard way that I rule the roost around here. If he wants to be on top again, he can go back to China."   
RanRan's face took on a pitying look. "I would feel sorry for you, but my sympathy was used up a long time ago. Too many other people who wouldn't back down from someone they knew nothing about. Go ahead and try to fight him. Just don't interfere with me and my sister."   
Nabiki stood up. "I don't know as much about him as I'd like. But I'm about to change that in half an hour. I have a meeting with someone who's been working overtime to fix that little problem." 

***************** 

It was with a slight flourish that Nabiki strolled across the café, taking a seat at a secluded table, across from another individual. A somewhat young teenage boy, with a mop of unruly blond hair and more intelligence than most males his age. He also had the advantage of never trying to flirt with her while they conducted business. Personally, she strongly suspected that it was only because his hormones hadn't kicked in yet.   
"You're late," the individual said, with audible disapproval.   
"Only by a few minutes, Fargo. I got delayed a little. So show me what you've got."   
"Show me my payment."   
Nabiki rolled her eyes, producing a plain envelope from her purse. "Here it is, so don't you worry yourself over it. The information?"   
Fargo produced a folder, setting it down in the middle of the table. "Everything is in here for you to view by yourself."   
"I'll review it all later on. You should know by now that I want a walk-through of it all right now. So that I can ask questions right away."   
"Of course." The first article was pulled from the folder and handed to Nabiki. "Before I go over any of this, you may as well get used to the idea that this guy doesn't exist. Not officially. I went through every person in Asia with the name 'Tarou'. Nothing that matches this guy between the ages of five and fifty. Secondly, if he's from the Bayankala region, I'm not surprised he's lacking a record. Virtually no one there has one, except people who are important politically. Which doesn't amount to many. The government seems to bend over backwards trying to avoid that place. Nothing but a bunch of weird tribes with even weirder rules and names. And a bunch of nameless villages with absolutely nothing on them at all. I wouldn't be surprised if he was from one of those."   
"So if that's the case, even his village doesn't really exist," Nabiki concluded.   
"Right. The last thing you should know is that there's a bunch of stuff that I haven't been able to check. At least, I think so. A bunch of information was not only classified, it was _deleted_ from existence. They were too primitive to keep backups back then, so the information is lost forever, except by anyone who has passed it along. Whoever gave the order to do that, they go by "J.P.S.", with no explanation on what that even stands for. And nobody questions it. So there's probably something really fishy going on down there."   
"Sounds like we're on the right track then. What have you got?"   
"You can check this it out later on in detail. I'll give you the general idea right now. Some little village got into this paper specializing in unsolved mysteries. Whatever it used to be called, they call it the 'Village of Rats' now."   
Nabiki perked up. "Tarou mentioned that once... something bad happen there?"   
"Probably. About five years ago, the village had a guy come through wearing pantyhose. Of course they laughed at him for it. Wouldn't even let him stay at an inn. Finally, he got mad. A week later, everyone in the village disappeared. At the same time, the village got infested with swarms of rats. Sometimes the people would reappear, but never everybody at once. And the rats didn't go away either. And the people were scared stiff forever, and wouldn't give any details. They seemed to think this guy wearing pantyhose cast a magic spell on them or something. Of course, they wouldn't say what kind of spell, but they all looked really scared."   
"Weird. How reliable?"   
"There isn't much there. What's there is probably reliable, except for that bit about magical spells..."   
"Right. What else?"   
Fargo pulled the next article from the paper. "This one is dated from about a year ago. Another village, about fifty miles from the Bayankala region. A village found two girls, almost dead near a set of cliffs. Sound familiar?"   
Nabiki nodded. "LinLin and RanRan?"   
"Probably. They were warriors. Wouldn't say were they were from, but some people thought that they looked like Chinese Amazon warriors. The doctor thought that the injuries looked more like fighting injuries, not falling injuries. The girls stayed for a week, then left again. No explanation."   
"That backs up what I was told."   
"Next article. A minor fighting tournament about three years ago. Something weird happened, and the third-place guy wound up taking first prize. The top two contenders were supposed to fight. One of them was apparently an amazon warrior. The other..."   
"...a guy wearing pantyhose," Nabiki guessed.   
"Right. They never actually fought. They argued a bit first. The guy wanted her to set aside some stupid rules concerning a kiss. The amazon refused and tried to start the fight. So the guy finally just bows to her, forfeits the match and says that she's obviously a better fighter than him."   
Nabiki blinked. "There's no way that was Tarou!"   
"It matches his description perfectly. Pantyhose, water bottle, scaled clothing, Cotton Fist fighting style. Anyway, the audience didn't like that too much, and tried to beat him up for it. They all disappeared around the corner. Five minutes later, a few people go to check up on the scene, and find everybody knocked out cold, with giant hoof-marks on the ground. Nobody's really sure of what they saw, because it was late at night. They just kept taking about the guy being some demon monster. End of story. Sound a little more like our man?"   
"_Very_ strange," was all she could say in reply to that.   
"Those are the best articles. I've printed out a bunch of information about his fighting style. I guess the most important thing about it is that people who use it tend to be heartless and will do anything to win."   
"Considering that he was planning on bringing explosives to the skating match, that matches his description," Nabiki agreed. "Any weaknesses? Codes of honor? Religious stuff?"   
"Nope. Sounds dangerous. I also printing off every article I could about him that's been in the local paper recently. People are pretty impressed that he's quieted down Furinken so quickly. Nothing you wouldn't know already, of course."   
"Of course. So that's all you could find?"   
"Not at all. I've also got a number of reports for various law enforcement agencies..."   
"He's a criminal?"   
"No. But he's been involved in a number of brawls or fights around China. Won them all, of course. Nobody really cares, because they were all in bars and taverns, where that sort of thing is overlooked in the first place. But it seems that Tarou was looking for someone lately. Genma Saotome."   
"Mr. Saotome? Why would Tarou be looking for him..." Nabiki thought back to the overheard conversation. "Any reference to a 'master' involved?"   
"Nobody really knew why. But he obviously came here for some reason to do with Genma Saotome."   
"I'll have a talk with Mr. Saotome then. Is that it?"   
"No. I just wanted to save the best for last."   
"And that is..."   
"He's not legal in this country. Furinken is probably paying him under the table. People are probably too happy to ask questions with the results he's gotten. But he's not legally in this country. No citizenship, no visa, no papers, no nothing."   
Nabiki's smile almost lit up the entire restaurant. "I can't believe I didn't check up on that earlier."   
"Although I have to wonder how the heck he got into the country, then. Obviously not through an airplane or ship. He would have been found out."   
"Details, details. If he's not legal, then I've got what I need on him."   
"Have fun then. This is the weirdest guy I've ever checked up on, let me tell you." 

******************* 

"Hello Kasumi."   
Kasumi turned to face Tarou walking into the kitchen. "Hello Tarou. Supper will be ready in a while."   
"Don't rush yourself," Tarou soothed, giving one of the most courteous line he could think of. Guaranteed to endear yourself to the hostess in nine out of ten households. A necessity for travellers and boarders these days.   
"Well, I don't want anybody to starve."   
Another courteous line was in order. "With meals like yours, I think it would take a few weeks before anybody began to starve. And it wouldn't do for you to get overworked, would it?"   
Kasumi flushed slightly. "You're such a polite guest!"   
And it was going to be the literal death of him if he didn't get Happousai's location soon. "So what can I do?"   
"Well, if you could cut these vegetables up for me..."   
"Of course," he agreed, taking some small relief in the fact that he could at least use a weapon or something while helping out. He had to learn to lay off the politeness a little. He was getting entirely too domesticated for his own liking. But knives were tolerable.   
"Where did you ever learn to use a knife so well?" Kasumi wanted to know, watching the blade blur through the pile of food.   
"Oh... here and there. My second sensei was in a big fight with some school of ninjas, so I learned a little on using knives just in case." It hadn't been enough when faced with a four-on-one fight, so he'd simply resorted to a little cold water and some industrial-sized fists.   
"My, China certainly is dangerous."   
She had _no_ idea. "Hmm... sometimes."   
"So how long have you known Jasmine?"   
"For... a little bit. We ran into each other in China." Actually, Ranma had run into him, Tarou reflected disgustedly.   
"How nice."   
"Very nice. Say... I don't suppose Akane or Nabiki would have any old school bags around?"   
"I've saved them as keepsakes, actually."   
"Because I've..." Tarou kept his smiling to a minimum, "...heard that LinLin and RanRan are going to be required to go to school now. I've already done everything I can to make their enrollment in Furinken High as easy as possible, but..."   
Kasumi rewarded him with a smile. "I'm sure I can find something for them. You're such a nice person, Tarou, helping them out."   
"I try," he agreed, studiously chopping up more vegetables. "I haven't let them know yet." 

******************* 

It was quite possibly the hardest match he'd ever been in. Ever. Psychotic Amazons? No problem. Tarou in a bad mood? Easy. Akane? Near-impossible.   
Even as Ranma planted a kick on her shoulder, he was studiously regulating how much power he put behind the attack. Enough to make her feel it, but falling short of actually hurting her. Judging from the satisfied grunt Akane gave, he had managed to pull it off once again.   
It wasn't quite as hard as it might have been a week ago. All things considered, Akane had improved significantly under the tutelage of 'Jasmine'. Still nowhere near his own level, but she would probably... well, actually she would probably still lose to any other martial artist around here. But it wouldn't be quite as much of a one-sided fight anymore.   
Smoothly ducking a high roundhouse kick, Ranma briefly deliberated between using the opportunity to put his opponent in a throw, or to merely use the chance to put distance between them. An instant later, he chose the latter, flipping away to land a short distance away from her.   
They had been sparring for awhile now, and Akane was beginning to visibly tire after so much constant exertion. She clearly didn't have much experience in long, drawn-out conflicts. Whereas he was perfectly used to fighting for an entire day against his father at one time. That said, he was barely winded. No sense in pointing that out to Akane, of course.   
And why not? A week ago, he would have already said as much. But not anymore. Because unbeknownst to her, he'd gotten a chance to understand Akane better. Because he'd learned how much she genuinely wanted to improve her martial arts skills, just like himself. And most of all, because she was smiling right now, clearly having the time of her life. And because he wouldn't mind keeping that smile around a little longer.   
So he played his best card. "You've gotten better," he observed honestly.   
Akane's face lit up even more. "You think so?"   
"Uh... yeah. You really have."   
"Thanks! Jasmine taught me a lot of stuff while you were on your training trip."   
"I kn...noticed."   
"Anyway, do you want to stop for now?"   
Once again, Ranma actually thought about his answer. He could probably keep this up for days. Akane was getting tired. Therefore... "Okay."   
Right answer, it seemed. "Want to spar again sometime?"   
"Okay."   
Another right answer, Ranma decided, watching Akane leave the dojo still wearing her smile. This was turning out to be a pretty good day so far... maybe he'd just go for a walk before anything managed to go wrong. 

******************* 

Against all odds, something went wrong. And only ten minutes into Ranma's walk. With the stealth and precision of the greatest of ninja schools, coupled with the suddenness and unexpected nature of the Anything-Goes school... an old lady hit him in the face with a shot of water.   
"Oh, sorry dearie. I didn't see you there. Are you okay?"   
Ranma sighed, looking down at his now-female body. "Yeah, I'm fine. No prob."   
Continuing down the street and determined not to let this little mishap change his attitude, Ranma now stuck to walking along the fence, clear of the majority of possible mishaps. He would do well to be careful until he could find some hot water. There was a certain amazon hunting for 'Jasmine' these days...   
Maybe he should go see Akane? Akane had been wondering where Jasmine was lately... then again, maybe that wasn't a good idea. The less anybody saw of his female form, the better.   
Even as the quarterstaff blazed overhead, Ranma instinctively ducked low, then springing back as a second weapon attempted to follow up on the attack. Then a sword was stabbing at his still-mid-air form, forcing him to twist and bend around the attacks before vaulting upwards off the flat of the weapon.   
Landing on the fence a short distance away, Ranma finally had a chance to look at his attackers in detail. LinLin and RanRan, both smiling at her cheerfully. "What do you want?" Ranma demanded, not quite sure whether to stand and fight, or run like hell. Shampoo had been a big enough pain as it was...   
For answer, the two put away their weapons and approached her.   
"You're _definitely_ that Jasmine girl," RanRan decided.   
"Now see why Shampoo loose," LinLin agreed.   
"You're gonna try and kill me now too?"   
"No, not kill..."   
"...just talk."   
"Huh?" 

*************** 

"And what will you be ordering?"   
Ranma looked at the menu hesitantly.   
"Go ahead. It's on us," RanRan invited graciously.   
"Fighter need eat lots," her sister agreed.   
"Well..." A martial artist had to take every opportunity when it presented itself. "I'll have that and that and that and that and that and that..."   
Does she normally eat this much? > LinLin asked worriedly.   
RanRan smiled weakly in reply. Definitely a martial artist. We'll let the organization pay for _this_ meal. Next time we'll go to a coffee shop or something. >   
Ranma had finally finished ordering, allowing a chance to start up some conversation before any mention of dessert could come up.   
"So you must be Jasmine," RanRan began off-handedly.   
"That's right..."   
"We were just curious to meet you, considering how much we've heard about you so far. It's no wonder Shampoo lost to you before. What style do you practice?"   
"Anything-Goes."   
"Oh really? I've been trying to learn some of it over the past few years, but only with a little success, I'm afraid. It's definitely more difficult than the Amazon style I was brought up in."   
"Yeah, but it's way better."   
LinLin coughed somewhat irritably. "Jasmine from China?"   
"Well... I did some training there."   
"You don't say? What kind?"   
"Well... different stuff. Nothing really special."   
"How long you know Tarou?" LinLin inquired, even as RanRan frowned in response. They were trying to coax the information out without being open about it.   
Fortunately for their cover, Ranma was distracted by the something else. Several platefuls of food was placed before her, diverting most of her attention. "Just for a little bit."   
"You ever catch in rain?" LinLin asked curiously, while RanRan decided to give up on being discreet. Jasmine seemed to be completely unsuspicious about anything, and considerably more concerned about her fourth plate of food.   
"Uh... no. Why?"   
"No reason," RanRan interrupted quickly. "LinLin and I are trying to kill him, you know."   
"Amazon kiss of death?"   
"We not Amazons," LinLin pointed out quickly.   
"We were kicked out of the village a few years back, so we're not Amazons anymore. I understand Shampoo is chasing you these days?"   
"I beat her in a match over some food. I didn't know about the kiss of death thing."   
"Those rules are rough," RanRan agreed. "One thing I definitely don't miss about the village. But about Tarou... how did you meet?"   
"Uh... by accident, actually. We kinda ran into reach other."   
"Interesting. Well, LinLin and I just wanted to make sure you weren't in any danger. Tarou's a very dangerous person, you know."   
"Nah, we spar every day for practice."   
Topic change, courtesy of LinLin. "You know Ranma?"   
_That_ made Ranma pause briefly. "Uh... kind of."   
"You girlfriend?"   
"No, I'm not his girlfriend."   
"That good!"   
RanRan elbowed her sister in the gut. "I was actually wondering if Ranma would be willing to take me as a student while I was here. I've never actually had any formal training in the style, but I'd like to take some lessons."   
"A student?" Once again, Ranma's attention was diverted from the food. A real student? Technically, he was still a student under his father. But surely his father wouldn't object to him taking a student as practice? Besides, he could probably take one   
or two little tricks from her Amazon style in the process. That might be useful against Shampoo later on... "Sure!"   
"I meant Ranma as a teacher," RanRan replied curiously.   
"I mean... I'm sure he'd be happy to."   
"So you'll talk with him for me?"   
"Uh... sure. No problem." 

*************** 

The three arrived back in the dojo in rather cheerful spirits, all having partaken in a good meal (some had consumed more than others). The walk back was occupied by discussing various combat techniques and their weaknesses and strengths.   
"Amazon style concentrates too much on head-on combat. As soon as there's obstacles or you're in mid-air, it's suddenly easy to take advantage of..." Ranma was explaining to them.   
She's good, > LinLin whispered to her sister in Chinese.   
RanRan nodded. I can't believe someone as young as her could have encountered so many different techniques. I don't think Shampoo had a chance of beating her. >   
"So do you only use that sword?" Ranma wanted to know.   
LinLin shook her head, reverting to Japanese. "Is favourite sword, but LinLin good with knife, sword, spears - all sharp weapons. Jasmine want learn?"   
"Nah, I'll stick to unarmed stuff. It's more flexible, y'know."   
The ex-amazon laughed mischievously. "Unarmed fighting for other kind wrestling."   
"Other kind of wrestling?" Ranma asked, her face blank.   
You're such a pervert, > RanRan muttered disgustedly.   
"Kind that happen in bed," LinLin clarified, her facial expression not changing a bit.   
Ranma flushed deep red as she caught on.   
Upon opening the front door, two objects were immediately thrust in the ex-amazon's respective faces. Bags.   
"I've been waiting for you two," Tarou greeted, an evil smile on his face.   
What the hell is this? > RanRan demanded.   
_These_ are school bags, little girls. And you're now enrolled in Furinken High. As the school's disciplinary teacher, I expect you to be present tomorrow. In UNIFORM. >   
You can't be serious! > LinLin protested.   
"What's going on?" Ranma wanted to know.   
"Nothing, Jasmine. Why don't you go inside? These two are going to school tomorrow, that's all. It's the least I can do to keep them from getting DEPORTED."   
Kiss my ass, Tarou, > RanRan muttered, grabbing the bag and entering inside. For someone who's already pissed off the Amazons, you seem to have plenty of time on your hands. >   
You can kiss your own ass, > he muttered in reply. They won't be any trouble. And don't think for a moment that I was bluffing about the water. You and your sister will get yours soon enough. >   
We'll see. >   
Kasumi appeared, instantly silencing any further conflict. "Oh, hello, you two. A letter arrived today for you."   
RanRan accepted the envelope, noting the return address briefly.   
Sounds like your bosses send their regards, > Tarou observed, peering over her shoulder. If you write them back, say hi for me. >   
She tucked the letter away quickly. None of your business. Come on, sister. Let's go see what the news is. > 

****************** 

Ranma shook her head as she headed upstairs. She didn't even pretend to understand what was between Tarou and the twins, but she wanted as little to do with it as possible. In the meantime, she'd avail herself to a hot bath and keep one problem at bay. The last thing she needed was for Shampoo to find her like this.   
Tossing off her clothes, she had seated herself on the bath stool before realizing that the air was already humid. Thus, there was already a hot bath poured.   
"Jasmine!?!"   
Ranma froze like a deer caught in headlights. "A-Akane!!!"   
Akane smiled, in the process of getting into the bathtub herself. "I didn't know you'd gotten back! I was beginning to worry about you!"   
Snapping back to reality, Ranma quickly turned away, her face already beet-red in embarrassment.   
"You wouldn't believe what's happened since you were gone!" Akane continued obliviously. "Here, there's room in the tub for two-"   
Ranma ran like hell.   
Akane blinked in bewilderment. Obviously, Jasmine was shyer than she seemed. 

****************** 

WHAT!?! >   
What's it say? >   
RanRan un-crumpled the letter, the result of her putting a few emotions into action.   
Well? > LinLin repeated.   
They're not happy. >   
Why not? >   
They think we're working too slowly. >   
LinLin frowned. So what are they going to do? >   
RanRan scowled, tossing the paper in the wastebasket. They're coming. >   
Who? >   
ALL of them!!! >   
But... they can't! >   
Our last report indicated that Tarou seemed to be staying here for a short time. So they're going to use the chance to corner him and get rid of him for good. >   
But... what if they get mixed up with... >   
I _know_ that!!! > RanRan snapped, getting to her feet. One slip with the Amazons and the entire organization could be targeted! I'm going to call them right now. Maybe it isn't too late. > 

****************** 

Ranma finally stopped running when she reached her room. If Akane _ever_ found out about her curse... she was going to be so much dead meat. At best.   
*SQUAWK!!!*   
A diversion, Ranma realized. Diversions were welcome right now. As opposed to thinking about Akane in the bathroom, completely naked and-   
"Hi, Pen-Pen," she greeted quickly, squelching the thought before she started dwelling on it too much. The penguin seemed to be wandering around her room. "You lookin' for something?"   
The penguin turned to face her, suddenly looking distraught. *SQUAWK!*   
Ranma frowned as the penguin's eyes bugged out, a thin stream of blood coming out of its beak. "Huh?"   
Pen-Pen looked away.   
Ranma finally remembered that she wasn't wearing any clothing, quickly remedying the fact by producing a set of clothes and putting them on. Maybe Pen-Pen had a sense of modesty. She'd never seen a penguin in real life before, but Pen-Pen seemed... different somehow. "I'm dressed now," she said, wondering why she was even bothering to talk to a penguin. But you were supposed to talk to pets, she thought she'd heard somewhere. They couldn't understand you, but they could understand that you were being nice to them. Or something like that. "You must be a pretty smart penguin."   
*Squawk* Pen-Pen replied, looking back at her as he wiped his beak with his wing.   
"I guess if you're gonna be my pet, I oughta find somewhere for you to sleep," Ranma mused aloud, quickly spying an unused third blanket. "Here y'go."   
The penguin simply stared in disbelief. At least, that's what it looked like to Ranma. She wasn't sure what passed for staring where penguins were concerned. "Sorry, but I don't have too much right now. I can try to find you something better later on, okay?"   
"I'm out of the bath now, Jasmine," Akane called in.   
Ranma face flushed red. "Uh... okay. Thanks."   
Turning back to Pen-Pen, "I'm gonna go have a bath. You want a bath too?"   
The bird backpedalled rapidly, shaking its head in denial.   
"Okay, okay, no bath. You look pretty clean, I guess. You can... make yourself comfortable or whatever. I dunno." 

****************** 

You've got to call it off!!! >   
*That's not an option.*   
You don't understand!!! > RanRan persisted. Things are fragile enough as it is! If everyone shows up, there's not telling what could happen! >   
*Don't be ridiculous,* the voice on the phone replied. *We've been after him for years now, without success. Now that we've finally cornered him, we're not going to waste the chance. One full-scale assault and he'll be nothing but a bad memory for all us.*   
It's pointless! Just wait a little and the Amazons will finish him for us! >   
*They'll force him into marrying one of them. That will mean that he lives. That's not acceptable any longer.*   
He'll never agree to it! So they'll kill him. Trust me on this! >   
*We can't be certain.*   
I'm certain!!! Are you telling me that I don't understand about Amazons!?! Why the hell won't you just wait? >   
*We're sick of waiting. We'll be there as quickly as possible. Wait for us.*   
No!!! Wait a minute- >   
*click*   
RanRan gaped, the phone dropping from her hand as she stared at the phone in horror. The idiots. This was absolutely terrible. Her and her sister had been so close to finishing their mission... and now things were going to be ruined.   
"You're paying for that long-distance call," Nabiki informed her.   
RanRan stalked off. "Charge it to my account."   
"My, we're in a bad mood," Nabiki observed with a smirk. "Something wrong?"   
The Chinese swear words weren't particularly informative. 

****************** 

Ryouga's mind was in a daze as he lay back on the blanket Jasmine had provided for him. He had been under the impression that he was _Ranma's_ pet, but evidently things were different. Maybe he was both their pets. It wasn't exactly something that did a lot for the self-esteem, but...   
...being Jasmine's pet? The same girl who had actually been so kind as to let him sleep in her room, with his own blanket. Who had actually felt that he, presently just a strange looking bird, actually deserved even _better_. The same girl who had been friendly to him even when he was trying to kill Ranma, a friend of hers.   
And she was actually going to be taking care of him, despite barely having a home of her own. If she wasn't an angel descended from heaven... she was almost there. Maybe this curse of his wasn't so bad after all. 


	14. Curtain Call

Tarou 1/2   
A Fanfic by Intrasonic 

* * *

Chapter 13: Curtain Call

* * *

"WHAT!?!"   
The vice-principle smiled weakly. All things considered, this was going better than he'd expected. "Well, we discussed the issue, and all things considered, we decided that it would be for the best..."   
Tarou slammed his fist down on the desk, making another fist-shaped indentation. "_I_ never discussed the issue! And I think it's a stupid idea! It's just a disaster waiting to happen!"   
But that didn't mean that it was going well. The VP put on his most solemn face. "That _is_ why we hired you, wasn't it? We have the utmost confidence that you're more than capable of handling it."   
Tarou sucked in a breath. That didn't work, so he sucked in one more before replying. "I can handle a bunch of a kids putting on their little production. It can be at this school for all I care. But where the hell do you get off making ME the director?!?"   
"Why, it would be ideal for you, really. Rather than have to dance around the demands of another director, you can simply decide how the entire thing is arranged yourself. Very efficient, hmm? And to simplify things even more for you, we thought that we'd do a fairly easy play. It's quite popular, and I'm certain that you'll have no shortage of volunteers for parts. It's simply a matter of supervising everything and breaking up any arguments."   
"And why would there be any arguments in the first place?"   
"We at Furinken High pride ourselves on our unrivalled competitive spirit, you realize. That can... occasionally extend to our dramatic productions as well."   
"_Riiiiight_."   
A book was set lightly upon the desk. "At any rate, we're glad to have your cooperation, and we even took handled the matter of choosing the play. Romeo & Juliet. We expect the presentation in two weeks from today."   
Tarou looked the book in much the way he would viewed the Necronomicon. Except with a little more disgust. Finally, he snatched it up and headed towards the door. "I had _better_ get overtime for this garbage."   
The VP breathed a sigh of relief once the door had shut again. _He_ needed to get overtime for this job. But right now, the only thing worse than having Tarou angry at him was having Nabiki angry at him. And she'd already outlined what _she_ wanted... 

* * *

"Romeo and Juliet," Nabiki mumbled, her mouth presently full of sandwich. "The VP is going to 'decide' that it should be presented in two weeks."   
The other girls blinked. "In only two weeks? Do you really think he's going to agree to that?"   
"Oh, that's just the beginning. Guess who's going to be directing the entire thing. Our favourite disciplinary teacher."   
_Now_ they were staring. "The VP will never agree to that. Or Tarou."   
"I gave the VP... some motivation, that's all. And Tarou, well, I think he needs this job, doesn't he? So everything is just fine. Feel free to audition for the play if you want." 

* * *

"Good morning class. We have two new students today, so let's be sure to give them a warm welcome!"   
I'm going to kill that bastard for this. >   
Don't look so mad, sister. Some of those boys are kind of cute. >   
"They're transfer students from China, and they'll be staying here with us for awhile. Why don't you two introduce yourself?"   
The two individuals in question nodded obediently.   
"Hi!" LinLin greeted. "My name is LinLin!"   
"RanRan... nice to meet you all."   
Did I say that right? I practised all morning for it. >   
Yes, yes, you said it right. Nice to see you working so hard for this school. >   
You could at least sound more cheerful about this. >   
I'm _not_ cheerful. I'm going to rip Tarou's head off for making us do this. We don't have _time_ to play 'school' here. >   
"So you two ladies may take whatever empty seat you want, alright?"   
LinLin nodded obediently, taking a seat. By coincidence, this happened to be right next to where Ranma was sitting. "Hi Ranma!" she greeted, giving him a wink.   
He smiled weakly. "Uh... hi, LinLin."   
Quit flirting! > RanRan muttered, taking a seat two spaces across. Do it at lunch! >   
Geez, you're no fun at all, sister. >   
The teacher coughed pointedly. "Now, if we could all turn to page 453 of our math text books, we'll continue with our discussion of multi-variable graphing..." 

* * *

I hate Japan. >   
This was said to no one in particular, the reason being that the speaker was presently outside of the class, holding a bucket of water in each hand. And doing so by herself.   
I HATE Japan, > the speaker repeated, in case the absence of people in the room had failed to understand the statement the first time.   
This time, someone heard. Looks like you got into trouble already, bitch. >   
RanRan spun to face Tarou, who was wearing one of his trademark smirks in full force. You! >   
You really should watch your language, RanRan. As disciplinary teacher, I can't let students call their teachers such disrespectful names. >   
She glowered. I called her 'teacher'! How the hell could she possibly take offense to that? You paid her to throw me out, didn't you? >   
Tarou shrugged, reverting back to Japanese. "I didn't do anything. Maybe you should recheck that guide to learning Japanese. You must have misread something."   
"I didn't misread anything! The guide says that the proper name for teacher> in Japanese is pronounced 'whore'. It couldn't be any more straight-forward than that!"   
Tarou smirked again, continuing down towards his office. "Of course. Well, don't let me keep you from enjoying yourself out here. I have lots of important things to do. But remember, I've given specific instructions to the teachers that if you or your sister become a problem, that they should contact me _immediately_."   
"Go to hell," she invited, returning to staring at the wall opposite her, determined to wait out the next ten minutes until the next period. Several minutes into the next period, it suddenly dawned on her that Tarou couldn't have known about the reasons   
surrounding her punishment. Not unless...   
A quick examination of her 'Guide to Learning Japanese', coupled with an in-depth analysis of some of the handwriting, resulted in a lot of spontaneous swearing and speculation over Tarou's ancestors. Which, despite the fact that it was in Chinese,   
resulted in another hallway eviction. 

* * *

Romeo and Juliet.   
Ye gods, was this ever a STUPID play.   
And the Vice Principal actually thought students would _volunteer_ to be in this play?   
Tarou refrained from putting his fist through the wall, but only with a considerable amount of effort. Coupled with the knowledge that he would be damaging his own office, and not someone else's.   
Two weeks to organize a play for the entire school. Two weeks for people to volunteer, to make props, to learn their lines, to practice and rehearse them. Two weeks that could otherwise be spent trying to hook up Ranma with a fiancee.   
And instead, he was stuck trying to organize a play that involved two semi-retarded people falling in love with each other despite having a host of completely dysfunctional people constantly interfering...   
...wait a minute.   
Tarou paused, suddenly looking at the book with newfound respect. 

* * *

"Only two weeks?!?"   
His sentiments exactly, Tarou agreed inwardly. Outwardly, "That's what the VP said. This play has to happen in two weeks."   
The head of the drama club nodded cautiously. "The club can supply the supporting talent. But this would be much easier if we could have certain people playing certain parts... and certain other people _not_ playing certain parts."   
"Explain."   
"Well, for starters, a strong female lead would be desirable."   
"How about someone like... Akane Tendou?"   
"She would be excellent, assuming she can be convinced..."   
"I'll take care of it. What next?"   
"Well, this is a romance, of course. And 'Juliet' is in love with 'Romeo'. And the male most skilled at Shakespeare at this school would be..."   
"Kunou," Tarou finished. He'd only been in Nerima two weeks, but he'd learned _that_ much. Not that it was surprising - he should have known that Kunou was too stupid to make up that poety by himself.   
"Correct. I don't believe Akane would take well to having to... kiss him. Or even act with him."   
_That_ would be a problem, Tarou agreed. But only a small one. "So we'll find someone else to play Romeo that doesn't make her sick. Kunou... is going to miss the auditions. Trust me on that."   
"That would be a big assistance. But who else would be willing to play Romeo and kiss Akane Tendou... On second thought, I suppose we'll have no shortage of volunteers there. But she'll probably punch them out..."   
"I'll find someone who'll work," Tarou stressed. "Trust me. What else do we need?"   
The head of the drama club was beginning understand how things stood for the moment. And no sane club would ever turn down a blank cheque. "A permanent place to rehearse and set-up. If we can have a food budget, we can spend more time practising through meal-times. If some people could be excused from class during the day at times..."   
Tarou stood up. "I'll arrange for those things. Get working. This play needs to go _perfectly_."   
The assorted members of the drama club looked at each other cautiously after the school's disciplinary teacher had left.   
"D'you get the feeling he's more concerned about the play than _we_ are?" 

* * *

It was fifteen minutes later that Tarou left the administrative office with a satisfied smile. Whatever could be said about Furinken's leadership, its existence would never be brought into question.   
Because it did NOT exist. In any meaningful way, shape, or form.   
Which meant that it had been child's play to demand exclusive rights to the stage for the next two weeks, on behalf of the drama club of Furinken. And to purloin some funds to handle in-school eating, which would allow students to stay at school instead of wasting valuable time going home for supper.   
Considering the speed at which the Vice Principal had agreed to these requests... Tarou was beginning to strongly suspect that this business hadn't been the man's idea in the first place. Which meant that someone else was putting him up to it... which opened up a whole new can of worms... which he'd just as soon ignore for the time being.   
In retrospect, Tarou was wondering if it would have been smarter to simply refuse the play outright, but the particular play seemed like something of a godsend. With a little push, it could be just the thing he needed to get Ranma and Akane together. While he still had a hunch that some brute force and violence would be necessary in two weeks, he would at least give the peaceful approach a brief try. He was heartless, cruel if necessary, but not sadistic. 

One advantage of being the Disciplinary Teacher was the fact that he had access to all the students' records. Including their addresses. So on the rare occasion that he actually wanted to find a student, he never had to search very far.   
Actually, he hadn't had to yet. After seeing what he did to Kunou, the extreme majority of the student body had taken his suggestions to heart. Which meant that all he had to do was sit around and exist as a reminder for the student's to behave. This was probably what a government job was like, he thought. Although in China, you probably didn't keep the job very long unless you spent your free time watching your back.   
At any rate, he needed to arrange for food. And he now had school money to pay for it with. And thanks to his position, he knew exactly where to go to arrange for it. 

Six blocks from the school, he arrived at his destination. And was henceforth surprised.   
"Hey, Tarou!"   
Tarou blinked as he briefly looked between the building and the speaker. "Ukyou?"   
She nodded, tossing a bag of garbage into the can outside the building. "I didn't think I'd run into you out here!"   
He shook his head as he took in the building again. "'Ucchan's Okonomiyaki'?"   
Ukyou smiled proudly. "What do you think? I've still got some cleaning up to do inside, but I figure I can be up and running within a week or two."   
"I thought this building was abandoned?"   
"It was, but I tracked down the owner, who gave me a guaranteed 1-year lease for cheap money. He couldn't believe I actually wanted it. That should be plenty of time to get established."   
"This building looked like shit," Tarou elaborated.   
"It still sorta does inside, but I've fixed up the outside. Now that it looks nice, people are going to get curious. By the time I open, they'll be swarming in to try my cooking! And once they taste my cooking, they'll be back the next day! And before you know it, I'll be rich!"   
Tarou felt something very close to fear. "And what about you?"   
"What about me? I'll be rich."   
"Yes, but..." He pointed at her clothes in general. "You don't look like a guy anymore."   
She shrugged, giving herself a brief once-over and coming up satisfied. It wasn't exactly feminine, but no one would be mistaking her gender any longer. Unless they were blind (or Ranma Saotome). "Hey, I kicked Genma Saotome's ass, right? And you were right, Ranchan was clueless for the entire thing. It's time to move on with life, and that includes embracing my femininity!"   
"Are you on drugs?"   
She actually laughed at his expression. "Get a grip, buddy. Haven't you ever had a big load taken off your life in general? That feeling that no matter how lousy your life has been, you've just come out on top, and now nothing can stop you from achieving your dreams?"   
"No."   
"Besides, after that skating match, the whole school knows I'm girl, anyway." Ukyou laughed again, sobering up a little. "Hey, get your butt inside. I'll cook you up one of my famous okonomiyaki. Best in the world, and then some! Call it a lunch break or something. You're supposed to be in school aren't you?"   
Tarou gave a dismissive shrug. "Anyone makes trouble, they know what I'll do to them."   
They went into the building. True to Ukyou's word, the inside wasn't nearly as tidy as the interior. But there was a semblance of a cooking grill and cupboards, and a large number of stools were stashed in one corner.   
"It's not much now," Ukyou was saying, "but you'd be surprised what a little hard work can accomplish. The grill works, so grab a seat and I'll serve you up a special. Hope you don't mind vegetarian. I haven't had any meat shipped yet, because I don't   
have enough refrigeration to hold it."   
Within minutes, Ukyou had produced a pair of spatulas, and was rapidly flipping a mess of ingredients on the hot grill. "So how're things with you?" she inquired. "I haven't run into you in a few days."   
"They're not going to let you skip school like this," Tarou pointed out.   
"_You're_ not?" she inquired.   
He acknowledged the point. "I don't care either way. But I can only ignore it for so long, you know."   
"I know, I know. But I've been on a high for the last few days, y'know? So really, what's new?"   
"Not much. You ever hear of 'Romeo and Juliet'?"   
"The play? Of course I have, it's a classic. Why?"   
"The school is putting on a production in two weeks."   
Ukyou nodded, putting the finishing touches on the meal. "That sounds pretty neat. You thinking of trying out for a part?"   
"I'm the director."   
She stared for moment. "You can't be serious. You volunteered to be the director?"   
Tarou gave her a look that should have ignited anything flammable. "Trust me, _volunteering_ had nothing to do with it."   
With expert ease, Ukyou flipped an okonomiyaki into the air, where Tarou caught it. "So you got shafted, huh? So I suppose you're going to tell me that you've always had a secret love for the stage?"   
"Like hell." He took a large bite, nodding approvingly. He had a hunch that no practitioner of the Okonomiyaki Arts, or whatever Ukyou's style was called, had ever died of starvation.   
"Didn't think so. So what are you going to do about it?"   
"Nothing I can do about it. I'll work with it. I think the VP was put up to it, because he's scared stiff right now. I practically have a blank cheque to make the play happen."   
"Better'n nothing, I guess."   
"Sure. Do you want a chance to advertise your cooking?"   
She raised an eyebrow. "Advertising?"   
"We're having our meals at the school so we can get more practising done. And I've got a food budget. You feel like working evenings there?"   
Ukyou's face lit up. "Are you serious?!? It'd be perfect! All I'd need is my portable grill, and I could rake in a fortune! And it would let the whole school know about my restaurant in advance! You're the greatest!"   
Tarou rolled his eyes. "I know that."   
"Hey, seriously, I'll owe you for this one. You just leave the food to me, and I'll make sure those actors get all they need to eat. Anything else you're having problem's with?"   
"Everything?" he muttered.   
"Besides that. You've still got business in this city, right? I bet this play is going to be a real pain for you."   
"I'm making it work for me."   
"I guess that's good to hear. What _are_ you trying to do, anyway?"   
"None of your business," he immediately replied.   
She held her hands up soothingly. "Hey, don't get touchy. I'm just asking, alright? I mean, that whole ice skating business was for your 'business', right? So whatever you're doing, you're back on track now, right?"   
"Something like that, sure."   
"Well, let me know when all the practising happens, and I'll be there with food. Besides, I'll be able to say that I had a behind-the-scenes look at the making of the play."   
"Whatever works for you," Tarou agreed, finishing off the remainder of his meal. "I'll let you know as soon as I've confirmed the dates. Now I have to go find 'Romeo' and 'Juliet'."   
"You sound like you already know who they are."   
"I do. _They_ don't."   
"Well, good luck."   
"I make my own luck." 

* * *

Tarou shook his head as he headed back to the school. Another point on his list taken care of, which was definitely a good thing. But Ukyou-   
He made a face. If he didn't know, he'd have sworn she'd been replaced with a brain-washed version from another planet. Her demeanor, her appearance, her outlook... completely different from the person he'd known only a few days ago.   
How someone went from being a revenge-obsessed, cross-dressing, spatula wielding martial artist to a cheerful, easy-going, normal-dressing/feminine, budding entrepreneur... was completely beyond him. Somehow, the hard-edged, no-nonsense, potentially-dangerous attitude had been bleached right out of her.   
It was probably because she had no reason to be that way anymore, he supposed. If he had taken a list of the potentially difficult/dangerous people in the area, he would have come up with a short list. But it would have included people like Nabiki, LinLin, RanRan, Shampoo, and Ukyou. These people all had something in common, and that was that they had _focus_. Just like himself, they had the ability to shut out the rest of the world and direct all their efforts, time, and resources towards one single goal. And at the same time, just like himself, they were capable of doing _anything_ they thought necessary to accomplish that goal.   
As of today, Ukyou had just been removed from that list, Tarou decided firmly. She'd become... _normal_, for lack of a better word. Just another girl going along with life without a real care in the world. No more devoting her life to chasing after someone, no more training to defeat someone who'd ruined her entire life. For her, the focus was gone.   
Almost a shame, really. 

But at the same time, it was hard not to feel a little bit of envy. 

* * *

Annoyingly enough, things had already begun to degenerate in his absence. Apparently the students were capable of telepathically sensing when he wasn't around. Or else a non-student had happened to arrive to stir things up...   
"Ranma Saotome! Come out and face me!"   
Definitely option number 2, Tarou decided.   
The umbrella and backpack were a dead giveaway. More specifically, Ryouga Hibiki had managed to find the school, and was once again challenging Ranma to a duel. And giving Tarou an potentially excellent chance to work a few frustrations out to boot.   
"Whaddaya want _now_, Ryouga?"   
And lo, Ranma had finally managed to arrive.   
The bandana'd boy fixed upon Ranma immediately, setting his backpack down and hefting his umbrella with one hand. "It's time to finish this, Ranma!"   
Ranma didn't tremble in fear. "Yeah, yeah, bring it on, Ryouga. Anything's better than goin' back to math class."   
Several of the students had noticed Tarou's arrival with the appropriate amount of disappointment. Discipline was all very well, but _this_ was entertainment. Some others began to speculate on the possibilities of a three-way fight ocurring.   
"You think this is a joke!?!" Ryouga snarled. "I'll send you to HELL for what you've done!!!"   
Ranma continued to not tremble in fear. "You still ain't told me what I've done to you!!!"   
Tarou had reached Ryouga. "What's up, Pen-Pen?"   
Ryouga choked, spinning around to face the greeter. "H-how-"   
"Be a real shame if you somehow got _wet_, wouldn't it?"   
"Hey, we gonna fight, Ryouga?" Ranma demanded, too far away to hear. "I don't wanna miss gym class next."   
Tarou ignored him, continuing to face a suddenly nervous-looking Ryouga. "There are some people around here with nothing better to do than waste their entire lives chasing after cursed people, you know. And you don't want to know what they do to the people they catch."   
"Who are you?" the bandana'd boy demanded, carefully keeping any hint of threat absent for the moment.   
"None of your business. But have business here, and I don't need you getting in the way."   
By this time, Ranma had gotten sick of waiting and had decided to join the group. "Hey, what's going on here? I've only got fifteen minutes before gym."   
"_Bird-brain_ here," Tarou offered, "was just deciding that whatever he's angry about probably wasn't that big of a deal anyway. _Right?_"   
Ranma blinked in surprise. "Really?"   
Ryouga swallowed. "Ah... that is... sorta..."   
This seemed to register as an affirmative for Ranma. "Oh. Well, we might as well have a duel anyway, right? I mean, no point in going back to math class now, right?"   
"No fighting at school, Fem-boy."   
Ryouga was still eyeing Tarou, and noted that the dangerous stare hadn't disappeared at all. "Ah... we can... have a match later on..." he slowly decided, slowly backing away. "IgotplacestogoBYE!"   
Ranma watched Ryouga actually find the school exit and disappear around the bend. "Man, he'll be missing for a week now. What'd you say to him?"   
"None of your business, Fem-boy. No fighting at the school, remember? Go knock each other stupid _after_ school for all I care." 

* * *

Mealtime at the Tendous was, as always, a unique affair.   
"That's MY food!"   
*WHAM*   
"Not anymore, boy!"   
*CRUNCH*   
"Yeah, well eat THIS-"   
*THUD*   
"So, Akane," Tarou began, putting on his most casual tone of voice. He failed miserably, but at the dinner table, everything was relative. "Have you ever tried acting before?"   
Her face lit up like a police search light. "Have I? HAVE I?"   
Tarou leaned back a little. "Well... it just so happens that I've been chosen to direct a play called 'Romeo and Juliet'-"   
Nabiki immediately placed some distance between herself and her sister.   
"ROMEO AND JULIET!?!" Akane demanded, a strange glow coming into her eyes. "WHERE!?! WHEN!?!"   
Tarou smiled weakly. "At school. In two weeks."   
"They pushed back the schedule recently," Nabiki filled in, still eyeing her sister warily.   
"And what would _you_ know about that?" Tarou demanded.   
"Oh, you know how I hear things, Tarou-baby."   
"Hmph."   
"...wherefore art thou Romeo..."   
"...you've seen the play before?" Tarou inquired, somewhat rhetorically.   
"Oh, Akane knows the play _very_ well," Nabiki assured him, smirking.   
Akane came out of her play-induced stupor. "Nabiki!"   
"That's right," Kasumi agreed. "Why, I remember when she played the part of Romeo. The class agreed that she played the part perfectly."   
You couldn't actually snap at Kasumi, but Akane looked like she was coming close to the point. "I'm _not_ playing Romeo!" she muttered.   
She probably _did_ do an excellent job, Tarou agreed inwardly. Outwardly, "Well, I'm sure there will be many people wanting to play Romeo. But I'll need _someone_ to play the part of Juliet, of course-"   
"I'LL DO IT!" Akane insisted. "I'll be the best Juliet you ever saw!"   
One down, Tarou decided. "I'll get you a copy of the play. Rehearsals begin in two days. I'm sure you'll do great." 

* * *

*splash*   
Ranma cursed, more than aware that he'd just lost almost half his body mass in less than a second. He also cursed at the lady tossing water into the street, although he did that part silently. Re-focussing, he immediately scanned the surroundings, looking to make sure no one had seen him change.   
The coast seemed clear for the moment. The old lady hadn't even looked in his direction, and there were no other passer byers at this particular instance. Best of all, Shampoo was nowhere to be seen...   
A quick leap took Ranma to the fence, followed by two more which placed in him in the back yard of the Tendous. Act casual...   
"Jasmine!"   
Ranma froze, but quickly relaxed upon noting the lack of any foreign accent. Right now, there was no telling when Shampoo might show herself. The sooner he got his hands on some hot water, the better... "Ah, hi Akane."   
The aforementioned Akane looked to be heading towards the dojo. "I was just going to practice for awhile, but did you want to spar for a little bit?"   
Ranma briefly debated between sparring with Akane and heading for the safety of the hot water tap immediately.   
Akane looked mildly downcast. "If you're busy, that's okay."   
To hell with bloodthirsty Amazons, the redhead decided. "Nah, let's spar."   
"I'm wondering where you were recently," Akane noted. "That Shampoo girl looks dangerous."   
Ranma shrugged. Dangerous, yes. Better, no. "I'll be okay."   
"I haven't seen you since before the gymnastics match," Akane continued, doing a few preliminary stretches. "I actually beat Kodachi!!!"   
"I kn-I mean, I heard."   
"I had to improvise at the end, but that's what Anything-Goes is all about. I think even Ranma was impressed. He actually made it there to watch the end of the match!"   
Well, Akane _had_ gotten somewhat better, Ranma admitted inwardly. "That's good."   
"I think so," Akane agreed. "But I'm going to have to keep practising. You ready?"   
Ranma shifted into a combat stance. When going up against Akane, half the fight was making it look like he wasn't holding back. But he was getting good at it, and he was slowly becoming convinced that the look on Akane's face afterwards was worth every bit of effort. "Let's go." 

* * *

Despite her resolve, it was almost two hours later that Akane found herself leaning against one of the dojo walls, gasping for air.   
"That was good," her opponent judged, looking considerably less winded. "You're gettin' the idea of attacking more than once in the air now."   
Jasmine, Akane decided, had apparently mastered the art of attacking half a dozen times in the air. And how to do it without actually getting tired. "I've been practising a lot lately," she agreed between breaths.   
"Your endurance is gettin' better too."   
After the training she'd been doing recently, Akane decided, her endurance had _better_ be improving. She wasn't sure she even wanted to know what Jasmine had undergone to possess the talent she had. "I need a break," she admitted, her legs sending thank-you messages as she sat down against the wall.   
"Okay," Ranma agreed, taking a seat as well.   
Actually, Akane decided, she wouldn't mind sitting here for a much longer period of time. Her legs certainly wouldn't. "So are you going to be going to school again, Jasmine?" she inquired.   
Ranma made a face. As far as he was concerned, Jasmine was going to disappearing very shortly. Not that he minded sparring with Akane, but his next stop was definitely going to be a hot water tap."Ah... I dunno."   
"I guess you'd better worry about Shampoo for now, but you'll never believe what's just come up!"   
Ranma raised an eyebrow. He didn't remember hearing about anything at school recently...   
"They're putting on a production of Romeo and Juliet!"   
Blank look.   
"You've never heard of it?" Akane inquired in surprise. She immediately chided herself. Jasmine's life probably hadn't lent itself to doing things like reading plays, so of course she wouldn't know. "It's a really popular play. We've done it a few times over the years, and it's always a hit with the students."   
Ranma attempted to ask an intelligent question. "Does it have lots of fighting in it?"   
A giggle. "Just a little bit. It's a romance about two people from opposing families who fall in love with each other against their parent's wishes. Eventually, they try and run away to get married, but things go wrong and they commit suicide together."   
Ranma's mind began to figuratively smoke from the process of trying to come to grips with the play's theme. "Ah... okay..."   
"It's so romantic," Akane agreed. "And Tarou said that I could be Juliet!!! I've been waiting my whole life for something like this."   
"..."   
"I've a got a lot of reading to do in the next few days, but I think it's going to be great."   
"You like acting?" Ranma finally managed, his mind slowly managing to get a grasp over the topic. Somehow, he'd never looked at Akane as an actress before.   
"Well, not as much as martial arts. But it's a lot of fun pretending to be someone completely different. Do you think you might like to try?"   
"Ah, I dunno..." Ranma stammered   
"Are you sure?" Akane inquired. "I think you'd be good at it."   
She had absolutely no idea, 'Jasmine' decided inwardly. Time for a quick topic change. "Um... how much fighting is in the play fight in the play?"   
Akane shook her head. "Actually, there aren't any females fighting at all. But some of the male characters do. Like Romeo, Benvolio, Tybalt, Mercutio..."   
Weird names, Ranma decided. "I guess it's okay, as long there's some fighting in it. What kinds of martial arts do they use?"   
"It's all sword fighting, actually. I don't think they were very interested in unarmed combat when the play was written. It was originally written in some strange form of English."   
It figured, Ranma decided. Not only did the English language butcher the words, it had resorted to messing up the fighting styles as well. But all things considered, Akane seemed to do well in her classes, so she'd probably do well at acting.   
"Do you think you might want to try a part?" Akane asked again. "I think you'd really enjoy it if you tried."   
Damn. Ranma averted his gaze, attempting to muster the willpower to refuse. He wasn't entirely sure _why_ it was so hard, but he knew that, somehow, it was. Something about her voice and face and the combination of the two...   
The fact that she'd recently confessed to 'Jasmine' that she thought she might like Ranma might have had something to do with it too. Possibly. "Uh... maybe I could... try and do one of the fighting roles? Like that Romeo guy or something?""   
Akane's expression was of the variety that you made after seeing Ghandi doing air guitar for 'Master of Puppets', especially when you knew that he had died in 1948. "_Romeo_?!"   
Ranma abruptly remembered a crucial little detail. 'Romeo', being male, required certain qualifications that he lacked until he got his hands on some hot water. "Ah, I mean..."   
Akane groaned inwardly. And here she thought that she'd ended the problem before. Yet Jasmine was _still_ looking at her _that_ way, to the point where she was actually thinking about playing Juliet's lover. Either the redhead was _severely_ love-struck, or she really hadn't gotten the hint. Hoping that it was the second, Akane decided to make one more attempt at subtlety...   
"I'm hoping that _someone_ will volunteer to play Romeo," she began. "Because otherwise Kunou's going to get the part."   
Ranma made an appropriately disgusted face, and did so quite honestly. He could believe that having to work with Kunou for _anything_ would be a royal pain. A romantic play, even more so. "Um... there must be some other guys who want to try?"   
"I hope so," Akane agreed honestly. "But most of them would be too scared to try and go against Kunou. And Kunou _is_ good at Shakespeare, if nothing else."   
Knowing absolutely nothing about Shakespeare himself, the first point was latched onto. "You mean, he'd fight them so he could be Romeo?"   
"Well, it hasn't actually happened, but you must have realized what Kunou can be like. You, Ranma, and Tarou and the first people to arrive that can outfight him like I can."   
"Oh."   
"Still, maybe Ranma will want to try," Akane continued.   
Like hell. "Ah... I dunno. I... don't think Ranma knows any Shakespeare stuff."   
"Maybe, but I can hope, can't I?"   
Ranma swallowed. "Hope?"   
A nod. "I mean, Ranma could obviously handle any fighting scenes. But he could probably memorize his lines well enough. And I'd much rather do the play with someone like him than Kunou. It would make everything so much nicer."   
"You... really think so?"   
No turning back now, Akane sternly told herself. "Of course. I mean, who would you rather do a play with? A perverted, deluded, idiot like Kunou, or a nice... uh, nice guy like Ranma?"   
"Oh."   
"Still, I might get lucky. Tarou's in charge of the play, and it would make things so much easier if the director, Romeo, and Juliet all lived in the same place. This could be the best play ever!"   
Ranma slowly nodded. "Um..."   
Akane laughed, seeing Jasmine's expression. "Hey, don't look so worried. If worst comes to worst, I guess I'll just have to grin and bear it. Even if that means getting stuck with Kunou. If I want to be an actor, I can't always choose who I'm acting with, right?"   
"Right."   
"Anyway, why don't we call it a day for now? You want to go wash up?"   
Ranma barely had the presence of mind to catch the question, immediately turning red. "Ah, n-no... you go ahead. I'm gonna... practice a little more. Yeah, more practice."   
Akane rolled her eyes, but only once she knew Jasmine wasn't looking. Really, the redhead's sense of modesty bordered on absolutely ridiculous at times. Still, it was probably just reflective of how the girl thought of Akane. And in light of that, considering the hard life she must have lead on the road, it was rather commendable that she would still hold herself to such a rigid code of honour. "Okay, I'll let you know when I'm done." 

Once Akane had left the dojo, Ranma didn't start practising. He probably wouldn't have gotten much practising done, had he even tried. Fortunately, all he tried to do was to sit in one place and think.   
Fact 1: Akane was in a play called 'Romeo and Juliet'.   
Fact 2: Akane was playing the part of someone named 'Juliet'.   
Fact 3: The play was a romance between 'Romeo' and 'Juliet'   
Fact 4: There was a very strong chance that Kunou was going to be 'Romeo'.   
Fact 5: If someone else wanted to play 'Romeo', Kunou would quite possibly oppose them.   
Fact 6: Akane would rather have someone else play 'Romeo'. Perhaps even Ranma'.   
Conclusion? By this time, Ranma had left the dojo to track down some hot water. But in his mind, a conclusion had definitely been made. 

* * *

The beauty of civilization was the existence of hot water taps.   
Certainly there were other nice things as well. Such as penicillin and the wheel and 24-hour takeout restaurants. But the hot water tap was special beyond anything else. Because hot water came out of it.   
At least, that was Ryouga's personal opinion on the matter. And having just recently reverted to his normal human self, he was uniquely able to appreciate that sort of thing. Now to figure out _who's_ hot water tap he'd just been used, and quite possibly be ready to make a break for it when he was caught.   
"Hey, Ryouga!"   
Ryouga froze, quickly placing the voice and identifying it as friendly. Exceptionally friendly, he had recently learned. "Ah... J-Jasmine," he greeted weakly. "Fancy m-meeting you here!"   
"Duh, I live here, remember?" Ranma mock-punched Ryouga in the shoulder. "So what's up lately?"   
Ryouga looked briefly thoughtful. Best that he not relate that embarrassing restaurant incident in Hokkaido yesterday... "Just... travelling around."   
She seemed to take it in stride. "Same old, huh?"   
"Ah... yeah, sort of." He desperately thought for a conversation topic. "I saw Ranma this afternoon."   
"I know-I mean, I saw." Stupid curse. Grabbing a glass of water, Ranma quickly filled it up with hot water. Now to find somewhere to change without being seen...   
"Really? I didn't see you there," Ryouga ventured.   
"Um... I was definitely there. You must not have noticed me." Fortunately for the explanation, Ranma abruptly realized something. "Hey - your bandana! It's just like Pen-Pen's!"   
Ryouga choked. "I-I-"   
"Surprised I didn't notice it before," Ranma mused. "He's your penguin, right? That explains what he's doin' in Japan."   
A gasp of relief. "Y-yes... he's my bird."   
"Boy, you must have really found an out-of-the-way place that time, huh?"   
Jusenkyou probably counted as that, Ryouga reflected disgustedly. "I guess so..."   
"The bird can probably never keep track of you most of the time," Ranma concluded, oblivious to Ryouga's expression. "Considerin' the way you get lost all the time."   
Ryouga might have wondered how Jasmine was so well-informed about his sense of direction, but an overwhelming sense of relief was presently occupying the majority of his thinking process. "Uh... something like that..."   
"You shoulda said something," Ranma continued. "I'll keep an eye on him, okay? He seems pretty friendly, so he can just hang out in my room whenever he's around here."   
Ryouga's brain finally shut down altogether. He was actually being offered a place to stay (even if it was for his cursed form). And the person doing the offering was, quite possibly, the most kind and benevolent person in the entire world.   
"Anyway, I gotta... um, go somewhere," Ranma was saying, carefully holding the glass of hot water. "Catch you around, okay?"   
One thing was for certain - he was so much dead meat if Jasmine _ever_ found out about 'Pen-Pen'. But then again, weren't some risks worth taking? 

* * *

"Hey, Tarou!"   
The aforementioned person grunted in a way that indicated that he was willing to spare 0.1% of his attention towards whoever wanted it. The rest was devoted to far more important matters.   
Ranma skidded to a halt, absently shaking a few remaining drops of hot water from his hair. "You're in charge of that 'Romeo and Juliet' play, right?"   
"Yes." Tarou _was_ thinking of more important matters. More specifically, he was trying to think of a way to get Fem-boy to play 'Romeo' in the upcoming play. It would be perfect, he knew. With Akane playing 'Juliet', and Fem-boy playing 'Romeo', not only would they be forced to work and act together for an extended period of time, it would be in a romantic setting.   
"Can anyone be Romeo?" Ranma persisted.   
"Sure." And surely, with so much exposure, they would come to like each other. Hopefully enough that they would agree to the engagement business, henceforth giving him his stupid location.   
"What do I have to do?"   
"For what?" Sure, there would be other complications before long, Tarou was certain. After all, plays were probably difficult things to direct. But the threat of physical pain could solve most the disagreements, he was sure. The application of physical pain would solve the rest.   
"To play Romeo," Ranma elaborated.   
"Right." Unfortunately, those threats wouldn't work on Ranma, since he was already used to martial arts. And threatened to hurt anyone else would just make him distrustful. So he needed a non-violent way of convincing Fem-boy to play Romeo-   
"So what do I have to do?" Ranma persisted impatiently.   
Tarou glared daggers at Ranma. "I'm trying to think, Fem-boy! Just because you've never done it yourself doesn't mean-" He stopped, trying to replay the last few sentences over in his head. Had he actually heard...? "You... _want_ to play Romeo?"   
"Geez, I already said that. So what do I have to do?"   
Tarou forced a book into Ranma's hands. "This is the play. Memorize all the lines with 'Romeo' in front of them."   
New doubts began to surface in Ranma's mind as he looked at the thickness of the book. "The whole thing? How many lines have 'Romeo' in front of them?"   
"Lots of them. Romeo's the main character, idiot. You want to screw everything up like you always do, Fem-boy?"   
Ranma bristled. "Hah! I'll show you 'Romeo'! I'll memorize the _whole book_!!!"   
"You've got two days. Talk with Akane if you need any help." 

Tarou didn't start chuckling until Ranma had left the room. In a few short moments, his problem had been solved for him. He didn't know HOW it had happened, but 'Romeo' had just been provided on a silver platter. Not only was Ranma going to play the part, he was going to do it willingly! Perhaps some nameless god had finally decided that twenty years was enough hell for anyone to go through and finally given him a break.   
Despite his not being a believer in luck, except for the bad variety, Tarou couldn't help but feel that it was about damn time. 

* * *

end chapter 13


End file.
